Awa and the Dreamrealm

by Isa Pearl Ritchie

  The door of the waiting room opened.

  “Awa!” Mum and Dad were both there. They were both hugging me. They looked worried.

  “What’s going on?” Dad asked.

  I tried to tell them about Felicity, about the posters, and the bullying. It all came out in a muddled rush.

  “It started right from my first day here. She just had something against me for no reason. She asked me where I was from and started calling me a mongrel…” I said, watching Mum’s lips tighten. I knew I wasn’t explaining it well. “She’s just really mean!” It sounded stupid, but I didn’t know what else to say.

  The door to Ms Norton’s office opened, and she waved us in.

  It was quite cramped in the room with Felicity, and me, and both our parents and Ms Norton and Mr Jasper.

  Ms Norton began speaking, kind of just the usual stuff that principals and teachers say when they are mad – like about expectations and being disappointed and expecting a higher standard at this school. It was hard to pay attention, even though I wasn’t the one who seemed to be in trouble.

  “I expect you to apologise,” Ms Norton said to Felicity.

  “I’m sorry,” Felicity said, but she didn’t really sound sorry.

  There was silence in the room for a little while, and then Ms Norton stood up from her desk.

  “Wait, is that it?” Mum asked.

  We all looked at her.

  “Excuse me?” Ms Norton said.

  “Is that all you are expecting her to do – to apologise like that, in this room?”

  “Vivian,” Dad said, putting his hand on Mum’s shoulder. “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not okay,” said Mum. “What our daughter has had to go through is not okay, and neither is that weak apology.”

  “I will discuss disciplinary measures with the teachers at the appropriate time, but rest assured Felicity will be subject to our usual detention process,” Ms Norton said.

  “I’m not talking about detention!” Mum said, her voice rising. “I’m talking about an apology.”

  “Which is what we’ve just heard!” Felicity’s dad said. Her Mum looked at the ground.

  “That’s not good enough,” said Mum.

  “What would you have her do? Write a bloody letter?” Felicity’s dad asked. He rolled his eyes. “Honestly… some people…” he muttered under his breath.

  “That is exactly the kind of superior attitude that causes this type of toxic behaviour in the first place,” said Mum, her cheeks flushed like they always do when she’s mad. “And no, I don’t think writing a letter would help your daughter’s behaviour.”

  Felicity’s dad looked like he wanted to swear, but the effort of holding it back just contorted his face into a funny shape.

  “It needs to be a public apology, in front of the whole school,” Mum said.

  “No, Mum!” I pleaded. This has been embarrassing enough.

  “As the Principal, I am the one who decides these things,” Ms Norton said.

  “And you are the one who has allowed things to get so bad,” Mum said, “– so yes, you are responsible for this public apology – both Felicity and you. And if you don’t do this, you are condoning racism, and I will have to make a formal complaint to the school Board.”

  “Racism?” Ms Norton and Mr Jasper both asked, their mouths hung open in surprise.

  “Tell them what you told me, Awa,” Mum said. I was silent. The shame froze me to the spot, and I couldn’t speak… and so Mum repeated what I had said earlier, adding in that this kind of behaviour had human rights implications (she is a lawyer after all).

  Ms Norton’s and Mr Jasper’s expressions were very serious.

  The silence seemed to stretch on forever.

  Mum and Ms Norton just looked at each other, while the other parents tried not to look at each other. Mum wasn’t going to give in, and I guess Ms Norton sensed that.

  “Very well,” she said, finally.

  I watched as Ms Norton picked up the phone and said. “Hello, Margie? Yes, please announce to the students that they are to all gather in the courtyard as soon as the lunch bell rings,” Ms Norton glanced at her watch, “…actually, that’s in five minutes – I’ve changed my mind, just tell the teachers to usher their classes out there now.”

  I didn’t even realise I had been holding my breath, but I must have been. I let out a huge sigh.

  Why does Mum have to be like this? It was bad enough being teased about the posters, but this is a whole other level of hell!

  There was nothing I could do or say.

  We followed Ms Norton out to the courtyard. The whole school was there, looking curious. At least the pink paper had been taken down. The kids all started talking when we came out, murmuring, whispering, staring. I’m sure my face was bright red, even though everything around me looked grey.

  Ms Norton cleared her throat.

  Silence.

  “It has come to my attention, that there has been some awful behaviour going on right under my nose at this school.”

  Ms Norton looked at Felicity, and then back out at the crowd of students.

  “So, I’ve called this meeting with you all, to clarify a few things.”

  She glanced at my mother, who nodded.

  “I will absolutely not tolerate bullying and teasing, and especially not racism, such as that which has occurred recently. Students are unquestionably obligated to treat each other with respect and kindness,” she went on.

  I tried to make myself small, to shrink behind my parents, but it was pretty obvious what all this was about.

  “With that in mind, I have an apology to make,” Ms Norton said, there were a few quiet gasps and other surprised sounds from the kids, as if they had never heard a teacher, let alone the Principal, apologise for anything before.

  “It is my responsibility, as Principal, to keep you safe and I was not even aware of the extent of the bullying behaviour going on, so I’m sorry to you, Awa,” she gestured at me and I tried to shrink even more. “And to all of you… but it is not my job alone to make this school a safe environment – we all have to do better,” she said, “…and I would like you to take this home and think about it: how can we be kinder to each other?”

  Then Ms Norton turned to Felicity and said. “Now, Felicity, it is your turn to apologise to Awa, and to the school.”

  Ms Norton put her hand on Felicity’s shoulder and guided her to stand in front of everyone.

  “I’m sorry,” Felicity said, but she didn’t really sound sorry. She sounded angry. “I’m sorry about everything I’ve done at this stupid school.”

  “Felicity,” her dad warned.

  Tears had started streaming down Felicity’s cheeks.

  “I’m sorry about the posters, okay?” she said, her voice cracking. “I’m sorry about the mean things I said to you.” She looked at me, and then looked back at the crowd. “To a lot of you.”

  She was really crying by this point; her face was red, and her voice was slurred.

  “I was just…” she looked around. “I was just trying to make things better, okay?”

  Ms Norton looked at her quizzically.

  Something about Felicity’s words sounded oddly familiar. It was so similar to what Judgement and the Politician had said.

  “Everything was under control until she came along,” Felicity continued, gesturing towards me. “Everyone listened to me… but she never listened!”

  She broke down into sobs and stepped towards her parents.

  “Right then,” said Ms Norton. “Our task is to listen better to each other. We are all important here, and we must value and respect each other, all of us.” She gestured around. “And now you may have lunch.”

  I didn’t stay at school for lunch. I left with my parents. We went out for pizza at Toni’s. I didn’t feel like talking much, not after everything that had happened. Mum and Dad looked worried.

  “Awa,” Mum said. “I know I put you on the spot in front of
the whole school.”

  I buried my face in a slice of margarita.

  “I’m sorry that was hard, honey,” Mum said.

  “Yeah, why did you insist on a public apology?” Dad asked her, in the tone he usually took when they argued. I hate it when they fight.

  “Let me explain,” Mum said. “It was public, the way Felicity bullied you, it was in front of lots of students, the awful things she did…”

  “So?” Dad asked.

  I sighed.

  “So, public acts like that deserve a public apology,” Mum said. “If it were all in private, she could just keep bullying you, and no one would call it out. There would be no accountability. Now everyone sees the consequences – no one wants to face the whole school like that.”

  Tell me about it!

  “She could still keep bullying me,” I said.

  “She might,” Mum said. “But don’t you think it’s less likely after this?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, grabbing another slice of pizza. I was starving after all the drama.

  “Your mother might have a point,” Dad said. “That girl looked pretty upset. I don’t think she will be trying anything any time soon.”

  “It was kind of satisfying,” I admitted. “I’ve never seen her like that. She’s always so smug. I’ve never seen her lose control before.”

  I was still contemplating the easiest way to change schools on the way home, and then I remembered everything that was going on in the Dreamrealm. The drama of the day had totally distracted me for a while, but now, worrying about Veila and the Priestess Tree… I was so tired that I could barely even watch cat videos online. I turned off the screen and lay down in bed. My body felt light, floaty as if all the stress of earlier in the day had escaped, and I was free, except that now I had to help my friends…

  Chapter Nineteen

  I was back in the lake, exactly where I had left it, my forehead still pressed against the giant turtle’s. I closed my eyes again. I needed to see whatever it was he wanted to show me.

  A giant crystal prism floated through space, glistening, and glinting rainbows. So lovely, but something moved in the distance. I was sure it was a star, a shooting star, and then I remembered shooting stars aren’t stars at all; it was an asteroid coming towards us! There was nothing I could do, as the flaming rock got closer and closer. I watched as it smashed into the prism, shattering it into splinters – some light, some dark, some in-between.

  These are the fragments, said Honu’s voice in my head. The Dreamweaver can learn to alchemize them.

  I wish I knew what that meant!

  I opened my eyes. “The Priestess Tree showed me something similar,” I said. “But I don’t really get it.”

  “What you must realise, Dreamweaver,” Honu said, “…is that there is no good or evil here. There was a whole, and now it is broken, and each of those parts is not to blame for their shape… for how they turned out.”

  Honu’s words reminded me of my life – before the divorce, it was whole, and now it’s broken, and nothing will bring all the pieces together again.

  “But how can I alchemize them?” I asked. “Everyone keeps saying I need to do it, but no one explains how to do it!”

  “Let me show you what I know,” Honu said, bowing his head down into the water. I pressed my forehead against his again. And saw a man with a beard – the last Dreamweaver, how he learnt to work with the fragments, to build their trust, and how, after many years spent working in the dark in what looked like caves underground he managed to do it; in a flash of light he alchemized a fragment, with a peaceful look on his face.

  “Where did it go?” I asked.

  “Back into the whole.”

  “The whole of what?”

  “Rest, Dreamweaver,” Honu said. “Rest now, on the shore, and process. See what you find when you relax your mind.”

  “I can’t rest! I need to find Veila and make sure she is alright.”

  “I assure you, she is fine, for the time being,” Honu said. “Rest now, you will need your strength to protect her, and all of us.”

  I lay down on the sandy shore of the lake.

  So many pieces were floating around in my head, trying to solve the puzzle of what was going on, and what I needed to do. I was worried about Veila, and what the Politician and Judgement might do to her to try to get at me, but I needed to focus.

  The fragments have been disconnected, splintered off… does that mean they want to be reconnected?

  I rolled onto my front and rested my head on the sand. All of that has something to do with the Dreamrealm… the fragments landed here, or this world was created after the prism shattered… maybe it isn’t a metaphor, after all… maybe this is their world, and we just visit it when we sleep… their broken world, just like our broken world… or maybe… maybe this world is all inside our heads, and the fragments are something to do with us.

  I remembered how I could recognise some of the fragments in some of the things I did: getting stuck, wanting to hold onto things… wanting to be special.

  All that thinking did my head in. It was too much! I started to feel dizzy, lucky I was already lying down. I thought about the last Dreamweaver again.

  It takes years to learn how to alchemize fragments – even decades; the last Dreamweaver was an old man before he managed to do it.

  Maybe I need to ask a different question… maybe I can’t alchemize the fragments yet, but I can stop them from hurting anyone… I could trap them somehow.

  I breathed out a long, slow, deep breath, and an image floated up into my mind out of nowhere. It was Narcissus. Sitting by the pool of water, gazing at his own face, reflected back to him… Narcissus trapped by his own reflection. Where did that come from? I wondered, but then I noticed something similar about Narcissus and the fragments, they are all obsessed! – obsessed with themselves or with stuff or with having things a certain way… Then I realised exactly what it was I needed.

  I ran back into the lake and swam out to where I could see Honu.

  “I have an idea,” I said to the giant turtle. “So the thing is, I don’t have years to master dreamweaving – to learn to alchemize fragments. I need to protect my friends now.”

  “What is your idea, Dreamweaver?” Honu asked me.

  “I want to try to trap them, instead… what do you think would happen if I held up a mirror to the fragments?”

  “A mirror?”

  “Yes, like Narcissus in the legend, he was so obsessed with himself that he was trapped, looking at his own reflection. Do you know where to find a mirror in the Dreamrealm?”

  “I see…” said Honu, and he was quiet for a long time. “I will see what I can find,” Honu said, finally, and he sank back down into the depths of the lake.

  It seemed to take ages.

  I floated on the surface of the water and looked up at the swirling sky, in all its different shades of purple.

  Thoughts swirled through my head: If the fragments are part of the Dreamrealm and dreaming is all happening inside our heads, then is it possible that the fragments are also part of us… part of me.

  I did recognise all their patterns – like the parts of me I don’t really like… but Dreamrealm is real; it’s not just in my imagination.

  Come on, Honu!

  I was so worried about Veila and the Priestess Tree. I thought about Judgement and The Politician, and I kept checking in case they had found me. Their attack kept coming back to me – the stress and terror. I really believed I was going to die, I realised, and I don’t even know what happens if I die here. Would I still be alive in the waking world?

  I thought about Mum and Dad and my friends again. It was all too much emotion. I splashed the cool freshwater of the lake on my face, trying to wash away my worries.

  Something was changing… I looked across the surface of the lake; ripples were forming into waves, and Honu was emerging again. As he moved closer, I could see something in his mouth… a mirror with
a lavender coloured frame.

  “You found one!” I said, practically jumping out of the water with excitement. I wondered what other treasures were buried at the bottom of the lake.

  I retrieved the mirror from the giant turtle’s mouth, and held it up to the light; everything sparkled; rainbows reflected off the water droplets on the mirror. I looked into it and saw…

  “Oh… wow!” I said. It was me, but I was older, stronger, more powerful. I was wearing a belt with bright gemstones set into the front of it. I was glowing, beautiful, and intense.

  “Honu, what is this…?”

  “I will let you work that out, Dreamweaver, but for now, you must go and test whether your plan works.”

  “Don’t you think it will work?” I asked. “I don’t want to be doing all this for nothing! I need to do something to protect us from those… those awful creatures!”

  “I cannot predict the future,” Honu said, “but if your idea came from your own intuition, it is always worth trying.”

  The giant turtle smiled. “You may not get the results you expect, but you will learn more, understand more, and that is the most important part.”

  Chapter Twenty

  “Thank you, Honu,” I said. I started to move back towards the shore.

  “Remember, Dreamweaver,” Honu called out. “You are not without support. Ask for help when you need it, and help will come.”

  I didn’t really have a plan. I could just fly all over the Dreamrealm, looking for Veila, or looking for Judgement and The Politician, but that sounded hard and exhausting. I was still so tired from the attack, but I knew I needed to act now!

  I heard a shriek overhead. A gull! The gulls could help me!

  The last time I had summoned the gulls, I had called out to them in my mind, so I closed my eyes and focused on centring. Gulls, wonderful gigantic gulls! I need your help; please come to the lake!

  I looked up to see the gull that had been flying overhead, turn and come towards me. It was joined by a whole flock of other enormous seagulls. They landed close by on the sand.