His Punishment

by Pia Marie

  “But that’s different. You love mom and she loves you too.” It was entirely different with me and Rhea.

  “Yes . . . and I love you even before you were born. I suppose you love your child too?”

  “Yes.” I quietly succumbed.

  “Then you know what to do.”

  Chapter 14

  James’ Point of View

  Goodbye James.

  “NO!!!!” I sat up in my bed waking up from my nightmare. It had always been like this since the paternity test came out. Every night, I dream of Tara. It was always the last time we were together.

  We were in the car. She didn’t speak to me for the whole ride from the landing strip until I dropped her in front of her house. She kept crying silently in her seat. My tears were incontrollable too. I tried so hard to stop because I was driving, but it was useless. I drove so slow in my blurry vision.

  I didn’t want the ride to come to a stop. I knew it was the last time Tara and I will be together. I can’t look at her. I don’t know what to tell her.

  Hearing her sobs makes me want to tell her everything will be alright, but who am I kidding? I want to tell her we can still fix this, but how? I want to hug her and say we’re never going to be apart, but I know that’s bull shit. It was officially the worst day of my life.

  When we came to stop in front of her house, she didn’t bother to wait for me to open her door for her. But she looked at me with her puffy eyes still wet from tears.

  “Goodbye James.” She finally said.

  I can’t find the words to reply. I just hugged her too tight. I can’t tell her not to say goodbye, because I know we have to part.

  The pain was killing me. I felt my heart aching. My tears rolled down one more time and she let go of our embrace. She kissed me in the cheek and she ran inside their gate.

  I wake up to that scene over and over and sometimes I wish not to wake up anymore.

  I have locked up myself in the room for three days already, the only people I talked to were my parents and my coach. I officially resigned and expressed my apologies. Surprisingly, he accepted it, maybe he felt pity hearing my voice.

  “Rhea,” I said as soon as she answered the call. I decided we have to talk about our situation.

  “Hi James!” of course she can’t hide the cheerfulness in her voice even at four in the morning.

  “Let’s talk tomorrow. I will pick you up at eleven,” just that and I hung up.

  I stared at my phone and opened my photos, the most recent were Tara’s, the one last happy moment we had together. Our Boracay experience.

  My pretty Tara beaming for me in all her pictures. How can I let go of her? How can I forget her?

  I feel so stupid for being too late. If I had only noticed her even before I got steady with Rhea. Things would have been different if I treated my stalker a bit differently.

  I smiled in pain as I see her picture in my phone. God, how will I live? I cried again.

  I woke up feeling childish. My phone beside me and Tara’s face is still there. I kissed my phone and stood up. I saw how I damped my pillows with tears.

  Get a grip James! I keep telling myself. It’s sad it’s not the end of the world for me, nor the end of my life. But as they always say, life goes on. Soon, I will have a child to look after for. He or she will be my life.

  I got up. Showered and dressed. I still have to pick up Rhea and we really have to get that serious talk about all of these.

  At eleven, I was in front of Rhea’s house. I didn’t want to go down the car. I sent her a message saying that I am already outside her house waiting for her.

  In less than a minute, she was tapping the window of the passenger side, disrupting my self-pity moments.

  “Good Morning.” She kissed me on the cheeks when she rode the car and then fixed her seatbelt.

  I looked at her tummy. Nothing gave signs that my baby is there. But I know it’s there. Two doctors declared it. How much more opinions do I need to seek?

  I started driving to Metro Alabang where I thought we should have lunch and talk. It was a very quick drive as it is just outside our village.

  We were strolling in the promenade and I made her choose the restaurant. It was well-known belief that pregnant women have cravings. I didn’t do it for her. I just want my baby well and healthy inside her. I shivered at the thought. Me. The father of Rhea’s baby.

  She chose to eat at Kimono, the Japanese restaurant where we used to eat as a couple. We sat and ordered food and she just stared at me after the waiter left.

  “When will we get married?” hell! She was straight to the point.

  “Would you like it after you give birth or few months from now?” I asked.

  “You’re . . . You’re . . . Marrying me?” she was surprised.

  “I’m marrying you for the baby.”

  She immediately stood and embraced me.

  “You will love me again James. I promise.” She kissed me on the lips and I moved back.

  “Rhea, please . . . take your seat,” I urged her, “I have some conditions.”

  She sat back on her seat and eyed me.

  “We will live in a separate house from neither your parents nor my parents.” I said.

  “OK,” she seemed delighted.

  “We will sleep in different rooms.”

  “Why?” she looked disappointed.

  “Don’t ask why, just accept it or I won’t marry you at all.” I threatened her and she seemed to buy it when she nodded.

  “You and your friends will stay away from Tara.”

  “Tara? What’s that got to do with us?” she’s starting to get heated.

  I didn’t answer and waited for her to realize that I am not negotiating. I am stating conditions. Irrevocable and irreconcilable conditions.

  “OK.” She agreed when she saw I was serious.

  “Lastly, don’t act as my wife. I can take care of myself. I don’t want you to go spoiling me on things and I don’t want you treading on my direction. Never cross my path. What I do with my life is none of your business.”

  She frowned at me and didn’t say a word.

  “Oh, by not acting as a wife, it also meant no sex. I don’t care who else you sleep with to help you with your needs. And same as me, you wouldn’t dare try questioning my sex life.”

  I saw her infuriating look on me.

  “Do you understand?” I asked.

  She still didn’t answer. If this had been a fiction book, I would see hot fumes smoking from her nose and ears. That’s how annoyed she is.

  “Now, when do you want the wedding? In a few months when your tummy is showing or after you give birth?”

  That’s when I saw her eyes lit up.

  “I want to be a June Bride.” I mentally calculated and she was saying she want to get married in two months. I can’t say no. I keep reminding myself I’m doing this for my baby. I can’t believe she was that eager. She didn’t think she would have that baby bump when that time comes.

  “OK. I’m giving you 2 million pesos to budget for the wedding. I don’t care how you want to plan it. I will start working for my father next week to be able to pay for the wedding and to save for my child’s future.” I told her expressionless. “Don’t bother asking me for suggestions on the wedding. It’s your wedding anyway and it’s not mine. It’s my death sentence.” I didn’t mind telling her how I despise the thought of giving her my surname.

  “Kani Salad, California Maki and Chicken Teriyaki.” We were interrupted by the waiter who had our orders in his hands.

  “Eat! I want my baby happy.” I ordered her once the waiter placed the orders in our table.

  “Oh baby!” she called to me and touched my hand.

  “I meant MY baby. Not you!” I removed my hand from her touch and ate in silence.

  I can’t believe that she is agreeing to marry even after all the terms I have set for the stupid marriage. I find it pathetic. It would have been better if she backed out
. That way I won’t be responsible to face the wrath of her father. But she is impossible. She obviously didn’t mind. It was either she is that eager to be called my wife or she was just born to torment me.

  Tara’s Point of View

  “Michele, can you send me the documents via my personal e-mail?” I told my secretary through the intercom in my office.

  I started working at the main office of our resort chain in Ortigas two weeks ago. As Vice President for Marketing, my father decided that I had enough experience running and planning the marketing division of Samal and Boracay. That was why I was summoned to Manila.

  At first, I was so happy with my father’s assignment for it meant I was going to see James more. But then, the day I arrived, I was welcomed by a bad news.

  I didn’t know how to react seeing the paper in my seat. At that instant, I wish I didn’t know how to read. POSITIVE in capitalized bold green letters. It gave me nightmares for the past two weeks. But here I am, ready to start a new.

  Well, actually, I am not ready. I don’t think I will ever be. But this is how it goes, life doesn’t stop in one heartbreak. I knew that now. This is already my second. The first one when James confronted me at the gym. I just hope this is the last.

  “Miss Tara, Miguel is here to see you.” I heard Michele call through the intercom.

  “Let him in.” I replied.

  “Good morning beautiful!” Miguel and I had been friends since the day James left Boracay. He never gave hints that he liked me or anything, but I can tell from his actions.

  It was just three days ago that I told him about my break up with James. Of course he was sorry for me that it had to end like that. But he promised me, he will never leave me just as he was there for me when I was left at Boracay.

  Miguel is a fine man. Aside from the fact that he is really gorgeous, he is a man with a heart. He teaches me Spanish too. But I still don’t get much of it. Just a few words like como estas which means how are you and que hora es for what time is it. He usually asks me that because he noticed I don’t eat lunch on time.

  “What brings you here?” I asked politely.

  “All the F&B’s are here for a general assembly and some catching up with the HR Manager.” He informed me.

  “Que hora es?” I laughed at myself. There he goes again.

  “OK OK!” I smiled at him as I knew exactly what he was driving at.

  “Let’s have lunch!”

  “Your treat?” I joked him.

  “Sure!” he went closer to me and made me stand up from my chair.

  Miguel was summoned to Manila by my parents as well. They said the new expansion of the company meant a new project that would need Miguel’s expertise and he was happy about it. We both landed in Manila the same time, but they left the landing strip a bit later than I did. The driver that was supposed to pick him and the pilot was late.

  “Where do you want to eat?” he asked.

  “Actually I am not that hungry.” I told him as we started to head for the elevator.

  “That’s not good Missy! You must eat.”

  “OK. Can a sandwich be good enough?” I asked him.

  “Big bite sandwich is OK. Not the teeny weeny paninis!” he knew me so well.

  “Fine!” I said as I pushed the elevator button to ground floor. It’s amazing how this guy has been a friend to me. He really looks after me. And now that he knows what I am going through, I can feel he is being extra careful to me, even more than before.

  It felt wonderful having a new friend. Lyn is in America for the rest of summer vacation. From her Facebook, I see she is mostly out with her cousins. I didn’t want to blurt out about what happened between me and James. I am relieved too that I didn’t get any messages from her asking me of what’s happening. Perhaps Christian hasn’t told her yet.

  I wonder how Christian reacted from the news. I never had the chance to talk to him as I hibernated in my self-built igloo and didn’t want any news from either of them as well. I am glad someone’s beside me to guide me through all this.

  “Thanks Migs.” I smiled and looked up at him.

  “What for?” he asked me half smiling.

  He is really handsome. And he is really thoughtful and sweet. Perhaps I should divert my attention to him.

  “For being here and taking care of me.”

  “Oh! That! I just wanted a salary raise.” He laughed hard at his own joke. I laughed with him. He knows how to get my mood high.

  We got out of the building and decided to eat at the café beside. I just ordered ham and cheese panini and he frowned. He changed my order to a big chicken sandwich with coleslaw. I widened my eyes at him but he didn’t even react. I’m never gonna have my way with this guy.

  “Tara,” he called to me when he saw me staring out the window.

  “Yeah?” I asked and sighed.

  “You’re thinking again.”

  “I can’t help it Migs, it’s really hard for me.” I admitted. It’s only him with me during these trying times and I can’t allow myself to keep pretending or I would go insane any minute. There was no one else to talk to and I was so lucky he is with me.

  “I am here. Talk to me. It’s better to get it out than to just keep it to yourself.”

  “I know, but sometimes, I just want to be alone. Sometimes I want to get lost and never come back. It’s really killing me.” The pain is still fresh even after two weeks. Hell! It’s just two weeks. I wish I could skip this part and fast forward my life a few years and hopefully I’ll be okay. I don’t know if I will ever be okay. We had a chance but we ended up separated. How agonizing. How can life treat me so cruelly?

  “If there was only anything I can do to help you, I would Tara. If I could only take the pain away from you, I will deal with it myself,” he said feeling so helpless. His eyes were sincere, his gestures were heartwarming. He was a real good friend and confidant.

  “You’re so kind to me. I am so glad you’re with me.” I continued appreciating his efforts. “But you know that I am the only person who can fix myself.” I painfully admitted the truth.

  “I know. But if there’s anything I can do to cheer you up or perhaps divert your mind away from all these, even for a while, just tell me.” I see my own pain reflecting in his eyes. He is absorbing what I am feeling. I know that and I feel guilty, it is unfair to him. “I could ask my boss to grant me a vacation leave and I could take you somewhere to forget.” He emphasized on the word boss as that would either be me or my mom.

  “Thanks Migs.” I smiled at him. “Your being here is enough. I really appreciate it.” I wasn’t able to stop myself, I hugged him and he hugged me back. “I wish you were James.”

  The instant the words were out, I realized what I said. “I’m sorry.” I told him as I moved away from our embrace.

  I am not dumb. I know he feels something for me. I am not an assuming person. He never told me so, but his actions were loud enough for me to realize it.

  “Then why not?” he asked and I was puzzled.

  “What?”

  “Why won’t you let me be your new James?” he asked me.

  “I don’t get you.” I acted stupid. I know what he meant, I just wanted him to tell me straight in my face.

  “I will take care of you Tara. I will love you even better than he did. I will make you happy even if it meant taking my own happiness. I will do everything for you. I will take you to Colombia, far away from here to forget him if you need that.” He was so willing to do exactly what he said. I know that. I feel his sincerity.

  “I will give you everything you need. I may not be as rich as you are, but I have saved up. I could work twenty four hours a day just to give you all the luxury in the world.” He was offering me something that any girl would take up on anytime. But I am not that girl. I am different. I am not just heartbroken. I feel completely broken.

  “It’s not just about money Miguel.” I tried to smoothly discourage him.

  “I know, but I
just want you to believe me that I am more than willing to give you whatever you want and need.” His voice seems pleading.

  I looked at him intently. I don’t know what to say.

  “Just one shot Tara. You don’t have to pressure yourself into loving me. You do like me, don’t you?” he asked finding some assurance.

  “I do Migs,” I’m no hypocrite, I like him, but I know I don’t love him. And I’m not sure if I will get to love him, or any other guy for that matter. “But just as my closest friend.”

  “Some lovers start through friendship.” He looked at her convincingly. “Then please . . . let me . . . let me try.” I know what he is saying. He wants to try to pursue me and have my heart.

  “I don’t know if that’s right.” I confessed the hesitance I am feeling.

  “Just one shot. One shot Tara. If you still don’t come to love me after everything, I will let you be,” he pleaded now.

  I sighed and didn’t know what to say.

  “Please Tara. Give me a chance,” he continues to appeal.

  “I can’t promise anything Migs.” I stated.

  “You don’t have to promise me anything. Just let me try my best.”

  I kept silent again.

  He held my hand and I didn’t look at him. He lifted my chin to look at him.

  “One shot Tara. Will you allow me?” he asked with insistent eyes.

  I looked at him and found genuine feelings showing from his charming eyes.

  “Please . . .”

  “OK.” I smiled back.

  “Thank you.” He said softly and kissed the back of my hand. “You will never regret it.”

  Chapter 15

  Tara’s Point of View

  “Tara! I need you to pack your clothes for the weekend. We will be heading to Subic for a meeting with our new partner for the expansion.” I heard my dad call out to me as I was eating dinner alone in the house.

  “Have you eaten dad?” I asked him.