by Dixon, Ruby
My pain limits are a lot higher than what he's giving me, but at the same time, now that I know that I'm going to get what I need from Dagesh, sometimes all it takes is a rough hand on my ass or a hand grazing my throat and I come hard and fast. Sometimes, just the reminder that we have kinky sex is enough to get me off.
I feel like we're both finally getting what we need, though, and I couldn't be happier. I'm so damn happy that when Dagesh suggests going back to the home cave, I'm sad. I don't want to leave our honeymoon cave that reeks of sex. So what if I've hit my head on the low-hanging ceiling several times? So what if Dagesh has to stoop to move around? So what if we woke up with a trickle of water dampening the furs under us? We're happy out here.
Maybe what we have doesn't work for everyone, but it doesn't need to work for everyone. It just needs to work for us.
And it is absolutely working for us.
We pack up our things after breakfast on the fourth day, and once we put out the fire, I step outside the cave to get one final look at our surroundings. I'm not held back, of course—I can go hunting or out into the mountains any time I want. I…just don't want. I'm not a big adventurer or a traveler. I'm a homebody who likes sitting around the fire with a cup of tea and chatting with friends. I can appreciate today, though, and I take deep breaths of cold, sweet air as I look at the mountains around us. It's all whites and grays—everything's covered in layer after layer of thick snow. It was so overwhelming when I first got here. All the ice and snow, and the realization that this was as good as the weather got was utterly terrifying.
Somewhere along the way, though, it stopped being scary. I stopped wishing for Earth and started to appreciate my new surroundings. The air here is cleaner and fresher than anything on Earth. The water tastes utterly pure. The food tastes better, though I'm still not a fan of chowing down on raw meat like the sa-khui. I have a new appreciation for hard work, too. Nothing here comes easy. All meat has to be caught, all herbs and roots have to be foraged. Clothing has to be made from the animals that are caught, the hide treated into wearable leather or fur, and then cut and sewn into whatever is needed.
Nothing is handed to the sa-khui. Nothing will be handed to us, the humans dumped here on this cold, forbidding planet.
But it doesn't mean that this life isn't worthwhile.
As I stand, breathing in the crisp air, my mate comes up to me. He's wearing a pack on his back, a spear at his side and another cloak in his hand. He stabs his spear into the snow and immediately puts the fur cloak around my shoulders, bundling me up. There's a look of intense concentration on his face as he tends to me, and I can't resist the smile that curves my mouth.
This planet is harsh, but maybe because it is so damn harsh, it gives you some amazing things in return. Things like a resonance mate who loves and adores you even when you want your ass spanked in bed. Things like a caring, giving community of people who look out for one another. Things like love, and devotion, and unity. Tenderness and caring.
And I'm rather good with that trade-off.
Dagesh tsks at the sight of my neck. "You have small bruises here from my mouth. I do not like that."
I beam up at him. "I love it. It shows the entire world that you were so hot to trot for me that you lost control."
My mate snorts at that and just pulls the fur tighter around me. "Are you warm enough? Did you eat enough? Do you want to drink something before we go?"
Such a fusser, my mate. "I'm good."
His hand slides to my ass and he rubs it through the many layers of leathers I'm wearing. "And this does not hurt too much?"
Heat flushes my face. Last night he spanked me within an inch of my life, and I came twice before he ever put his cock inside me. It was amazing. When we were done, he fussed over my backside, because I had palm-sized red marks on my skin, but I've noticed he's less upset about the marks on my ass by the day, which pleases me.
"My ass is perfectly fine, but if you want to take a look for yourself, I'm down with that."
I expect my sensible, dependable Dagesh to refuse. He pinches my butt, hard enough to make me squeal, and considers it. "Perhaps I should have a look, just in case."
Oh, he wants to play, does he? Heat courses through my system, and when he sets down his pack, I practically wriggle with anticipation.
"You can look," I promise. "If you catch me."
And I take off running. He's going to catch me. That's the whole point. He's going to catch me and fling me down into the snow and we'll have rough, dirty sex and it'll be amazing.
We can always go back to the cave tomorrow.
19
Current Day
NORA
"And after we had our yoo-ish wedding, your mother kissed me and said she was the happiest female in the land." Dagesh tucks the blankets high under Anna and Elsa's chins, and finishes the completely made up and absolutely squeaky clean story of how we settled in to one another. "As your mother says, we live happily ever after now."
Elsa's mouth hangs open, already asleep, but Anna smiles shyly at my mate. "I'm gonna live happy ever after with Analay when I get older. Does that mean we get a yoo-ish wedding too?"
"If you like." He tweaks her braid. "Go to sleep. It is a long time until you grow up. For now, you are still my little girl, and my little girl needs a good sleep if she is to go hunting with her father in the morning."
I'm torn between smiling at how good Dagesh always is with the girls, and my utter frustration that Anna's brought up mating Analay again. I know Analay's just a kid, but Anna is too, and I don't want her feeling like her life's been decided for her. Maybe it's because I'm so very pregnant that I'm getting all Mama Bear. I know it doesn't bother Dagesh like it does me.
My mate moves around our hut, banking the fire and tidying up. "You can leave that," I tell him softly, so as not to wake the girls. "I'll get it in the morning."
"You cannot see your feet, my pretty mate," Dagesh tells me, amused. "Why would I expect you to pick things up off the floor?"
He's got a point. I rub my huge belly as he picks up the girls' carved toys and leather dolls and puts them away. I hate feeling helpless. I know he had a long day of hunting, and he's tired too, but he always takes care of me when he gets home, as if he's nothing but boundless energy. He's so damn dependable.
I never thought that would turn me on so much, but here we are.
"Come to bed," I tell him as he puts the last of the dishes on the stone counter. I pat the furs encouragingly.
My mate grins at me from over his shoulder, his long braid dancing against his lower back. He is a delicious snack, my man. Even after eight turns of the seasons of being mated, I still get deep-seated quivers in my vagina when he looks at me. If anything, he's grown sexier to me over time, because now I know that in addition to being a strong, dependable, tender and caring mate, he's also an amazing dad who helps me out with the housework and always makes time for the girls.
He does the dishes, even though I'm perfectly capable of doing them, and then pulls his boots off and crawls into the furs with me. Dagesh tugs me against him, tucking a pillow under my belly and spooning me from behind. His hand goes to my belly, rubbing the distended roundness of it. "How is our kit this day?"
"Big." I close my eyes, snuggling back against him. "Your hand feels good. Keep rubbing."
He does, sliding his fingers under my tunic and caressing my bare skin. "The hunt was good," he says, kissing my neck. "My traps were full today. I even caught a snowcat. I found it eating a hopper stuck in one of my snares and killed it before it could get away."
"That's wonderful. Is that why you were out so long today? Good hunting?"
Dagesh nods. "I put it all in a cache, but if you want the snowcat pelt, I will go and retrieve it."
"No rush. I've got plenty of pelts and the girls are working with scraps right now." I might ask Asha if she needs it at some point, but at the moment, the thought of yet another pelt to clean and take care of makes me
want to run away screaming. His big hand scratches idly at the underside of my belly and my toes curl with bliss. "Oh man, that feels amazing. Why are you so awesome?"
"I have a mate that makes me better," he says, nipping at my ear. "But sometimes she is very, very naughty."
Hot lust floods through me. "Is she?"
Our sex life has morphed a little since the girls arrived. It's hard to get a nice, rowdy spanking in when little ears are sleeping on the other side of the hut. Most of our sex tends to be quieter, and if I need a bit of an edge to things, Dagesh holds me down. When we need more of a release, sometimes the girls have a “sleepover at Auntie Asha's hut” and then we get a more playful night in. Lately though, I've been so pregnant and miserable I haven't been in much of a playing mood.
It seems like Dagesh is, though, and that arouses me despite the discomfort of my ungainly body.
My mate lifts my hair off my neck and kisses my skin. "Yes. She has been very naughty for days now. I think she should be punished."
I quiver deep inside. "Lies," I whisper. "I'm a good girl and you know it."
Dagesh's teeth scrape against my skin, hard enough to make me gasp. He shifts his weight, getting up on one elbow, and when I crane my head around to look at him, he grabs a handful of my hair, pinning my head to the pillow. It always amazes me that even after all this time, he manages to find the perfect way to pull my hair that doesn't hurt, but is still firm enough to get me all turned on.
"What's your word?" he asks.
It's been a long time since either of us needed a word, but I suspect he's reminding me that it's okay to bail if I'm too tired. "Earth," I say breathless. "But I won't need it."
"Perhaps not." Dagesh leans in, his teeth scoring against my ear. His other hand pushes into my leggings, seeking out the heat between my thighs. He finds my clit and begins to rub. Not teasing, tender strokes but rougher, demanding ones that are just what I need. Air catches in my throat, and I have to bite back a moan as he works my body. He's determined to wring an orgasm from me, demanding that I come for him. It's so damned erotic—and it's been so many days since I've had (or wanted) a release like this that I come within moments, whimpering out his name as he wrings the orgasm out of me.
It's not my prettiest climax. I'm fifteen months pregnant, bloated and tired, but Dagesh kisses my neck and murmurs sweet words to me as if I'm the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He pets my pussy as I come down, and when I'm satisfied, he licks my taste off his fingers. I reach for him, even though I can't roll onto my back without flailing like a turtle. "Let me do you now."
"You sleep," he tells me, pressing a kiss on the tip of my nose. "I will wake you up with my demands soon enough."
I give him a drowsy smile, snuggle under the arm he drapes over me, and sleep better than I have in days.
* * *
I wake up in the middle of the night to a hard, horrendous cramp in my lower back.
So much for sexiness. I nudge Dagesh awake. "I think the baby's coming," I whisper. "Can you help me stand?"
"Now?" My mate jumps to his feet instantly, his eyes wide. He grabs his clothing, shoving on his boots while trying to simultaneously put on his tunic. I've only ever seen my mate rattled one other time—when Anna and Elsa were born. His antics make me forget myself for a moment, and I giggle at the sight of him.
Then, my water breaks and it's no longer a laughing matter. I wince as liquid trickles down my legs, soaking my leggings. I put my hands on my belly. "Babe?"
Dagesh is at my side in an instant, a cloak on his shoulders and boots…and no pants. He holds a cloak out to me. "Here. Here. Do you need your boots? Do you need a drink? Are you hungry? Should I wake the girls?"
The sight of him strikes me as incredibly funny—or maybe I'm just tired and relieved this baby is finally on the way. I can't stop giggling, even when he gives me a curious look. I just point.
My mate chuckles. "What, you think no one in this village has seen my cock before? They will not care. I do not care, as long as we get you to the healer."
I shake my head. It's the middle of the night, and even though I'm uncomfortable, I don't think the baby's coming right away. I haven't had another contraction yet, so there's time. "Help me change clothes?" I whisper. "And let's let the girls sleep for a while longer."
Dagesh helps me change into a loose, floor-length tunic-dress, and I pace near the fire as he puts on hot tea. I'm tired and want to sit down, but sitting is uncomfortable. Then again, so is standing. Everything kinda sucks, but I've been through this once before, and I know it's temporary. Soon, the baby will be here and most of the discomfort will melt away.
Then I'll just have a baby boy to hold.
Or a girl, I remind myself. Analay is a kid. He doesn't know for sure that I'm having a boy. Rokan's knowing isn't always right. Analay might not even have the knowing like Rokan does. He might just be a kid with an active imagination. No sense in borrowing trouble.
Dagesh holds my arm and helps me circle around the fire, his expression watchful. "Tell me when to get the healer," he says to me. "I will wake her if needed."
I shake my head. "We've still got time."
As I pace, we talk about names for the baby. Dagesh's parents were Adash and Geshta, and we debate honoring them with those names. Maybe I'm being picky, but Geshta sounds too close to my mate's name, and I like Adash, but I don't want to consider a boy's name because it feels like I'm agreeing with Analay.
"What about Miriam?" I ask. "It's my mother's name. A good, Jewish name. Or Esther. That was my grandmother's name."
"What does it mean, Meer-ee-yum? Or Es-tur?"
I immediately start leaning toward Esther, just because it's easier to pronounce for him. "Well, I don't exactly recall what Miriam means, but Esther means 'star.'"
He brightens. "I like that idea. If we have a girl, it is a star."
"It'll be a girl," I say grimly, and hiss as another contraction ripples through my belly.
20
DAGESH
It is a girl.
I hold my newest kit in my arms as Maylak fusses over my mate. Nora has a proud, triumphant look on her pale face as she smiles up at me.
"Analay was wrong," she says, her expression tired but defiant. "Not everything is set in stone."
My mate worries too much. Analay can say whatever he likes, but only resonance will decide my daughter's mate. Until her khui sings, it is not worth fussing over. I smile down at her, rocking our newest. Es-tur, my little star, is light in my arms, even though No-rah and Maylak both exclaimed over what a big child she was when she came out. The birth was easy, too. My mate paced near the fire for a few hours, then squatted, and then Es-tur arrived with a wail, just in time for the morning meal.
She is beautiful, my little star. I gaze down at her, fascinated. Her mane is as black as mine, but her little nose and chin are all No-rah. Her cheeks are fat and full, her legs long and skinny like all newborn kits. Her eyes are dark, like No-rah before she received her khui, and the sight of those eyes fills my heart with worry. I will not sleep well until we bring down a sa-kohtsk and give my little star the strongest of khuis. I lift a finger to her tiny hand and she clasps it, her small fingernails perfect. She has four fingers and a thumb, my Es-tur, and unlike her sisters, she has no tail.
The tiny, perfect little mouth of my new daughter screws up and she bellows.
I laugh, delighted. "Strong lungs, just like her mother."
No-rah gives me a tired smile, holding her arms out for the kit. "I should feed her."
I glance over at the healer, but she no longer has her hands on No-rah. Maylak looks tired, but her work is done. "It was an easy birth," Maylak tells us both. "And she is a very healthy kit. A worthy addition to our growing tribe."
I gently place Es-tur in my mate's arms, watching protectively as our newest daughter turns in toward her mother and nuzzles at No-rah's teat. There is no sight better than this one, and my heart skips a beat as my mate smiles down
at our daughter. She watches the baby begin to suck, her fingers stroking the thick black cap of fuzz atop the kit's head. Then, she glances up at me, her eyes soft with wonder. "Will you get the girls from Asha when you get a chance? They'll want to say hello to their sister."
I do not want to leave my mate's side, but No-rah is right. Ah-nah and El-sah will be excited to meet Es-tur. They have waited for this day as much as us, eagerly touching No-rah's stomach when the kit kicked inside her. They will want to share this moment with us…and I want my entire family close. The birth of the little one has reminded me how fragile all of my females are, and I want to watch over them like a broody snowcat in a den with its kits huddled close.
I move forward and kiss my mate's sweaty brow, just because I need to touch her. She beams up at me, pure joy, and I gaze down at my mate and our new daughter as she nurses. "I am going."
"I know." Her lips twitch with amusement.
I pause a moment longer. "This one looks more like me." I reach out and touch the small fist, fascinated anew by how little Es-tur is.
"They all look like you." No-rah gives me an exasperated smile.
Maylak gets to her feet. "Well, I am going." She yawns. "Should I have Esha go and find the girls and bring them back?"
I want to tell her yes, that I want to sit next to my mate and my new kit and not get up for days. But I am a father, and Ah-nah and El-sah deserve to hear from me that they have a new sister. "I will get them." I glance down at Es-tur one more time and then pull away. "I will be back very soon."
