I Choose You

by Tawdra Kandle

  “No, that’s okay. I understand. When someone you love is hurting, it spills over onto you.” She pulled the car up to the curb in front of the Coles’ house. “Do you think you guys’ll get married? I mean, someday?”

  I lifted my shoulder. “A year ago, I would’ve said absolutely yes. Now . . .” I fiddled with a string hanging from the hem of my dress. “I don’t know. I can’t blame Liam for being gun-shy about marriage now. His parents act like they hate each other. It’s ugly.”

  We got out of her car, locking the doors behind us. “Yes, I get that.” She followed me up the front walk, both of us dragging our feet to stay outside and away from Sandra and Ellen as long as possible. “But he was so good with Nala. He seems like the kind of guy who’d be an excellent father.”

  I nodded. More than once, I’d indulged in a fantasy of having Liam’s baby . . . of the two of us, raising a family. But it wasn’t something I could let myself think about yet. We were both a long way from that stage of life.

  “We better get in the house before Jules sends out the national guard.” I climbed the porch steps.

  Courtney groaned. “It’s going to be a long night.” Then her eyes lit up, and she grinned at me. “I just remembered I know where Aunt Heather keeps the booze. Come on, girlfriend. I’ll hook you up. We’re going to need a nice buzz to make it through twelve hours with the giggle twins.”

  I gave her a mock salute. “Lead the way.”

  ***

  “YOU COULDN’T HAVE ASKED for a prettier wedding day.” I leaned forward from the backseat to smile at Julia. Courtney was driving us, along with Alison, to the church, where we’d all dress for the wedding. Mr. Cole had dropped off the dresses and shoes earlier in the day, while all of us girls were at the hair salon.

  The stylist had twisted my thick black hair into a sleek updo, leaving just a few strands to curl around my face. She’d wound a string of tiny seed pearls into it, and I couldn’t wait to see how it looked with my gown.

  “I really couldn’t. It’s a perfect day.” Julia was glowing. There was no other way I could describe my friend. No cold feet for this bride; she’d slept like a baby, once Courtney and I’d banished Sandra and Ellen from her bedroom. All morning, she’d been humming and singing, a virtual ray of sunshine. And speaking of sunshine, we had it in spades today. Overnight, a mild cold front had rolled in, taking away the humidity of the past week and leaving a sky so blue it hurt my eyes and air that was just warm enough to be comfortable.

  Giff had breezed through this morning, already dressed to the nines in his gray suit and blue tie. He’d confirmed last-minute scheduling changes with Mrs. Cole and supervised the photographer taking the casual at-home pics Julia had wanted.

  “I stopped by the florist this morning, and I saw your flowers. Exactly as you wanted them, and they’ll be waiting for you in the cooler at the church when you and the girls arrive. And then I ran by the church. It’s gorgeous, Jules. Wait’ll you see. Take a peek inside before you get dressed, because I know when you’re walking down that aisle, you’ll only have eyes for your man.”

  I was anxious to see my man that afternoon. I’d texted with Liam during the morning, and I knew he was relaxing at the hotel, catching up on homework. Working at the university and being in grad school kept him busy. We were both excited for him to finish his masters’ degree at the end of the summer, since it would allow him to begin teaching full-time in the fall semester.

  But for now, all I wanted was to see his face when he got a load of me in my bridesmaid dress. Julia had allowed each of us to choose our own style of gown; only the color, a bright kelly green, was identical. Mine was strapless, with a sweetheart neckline and a short flared skirt that skimmed my knees. I had fun and flirty silver heels that made my short legs actually look good, and a simple strand of pearls to wear around my neck.

  Courtney turned the corner onto the street that fronted the church, and we all ooohed when we saw the steps of St. Philip’s decorated with acres of tulle and balloons that bobbed in the gentle breeze. Pots of rose bushes accented each corner.

  “It’s so beautiful.” I sniffled, digging in my purse for a tissue. “It looks just like you told us you wanted it, Jules.”

  “I know.” Her voice held a note of awe. “It’s like a dream come true. I can’t believe it.”

  “Well, believe it, sweetie. ‘Cause here we are, ready to go make you a bride!” Courtney grinned at her cousin as she parked the car in the lot behind the church.

  Inside, everything was bedlam. The florist and her assistants were distributing flowers to the groomsmen and the bridal party. The photographer wandered around, waiting to snap some candid shots. Mrs. Krupp was loudly telling us how long until go time. Courtney and I whisked Julia directly to the bridal room to make sure she didn’t accidentally run into Jesse before the ceremony.

  “But Giff told me to check out the sanctuary first, remember?” She paused at the doorway.

  “I’ll go make sure the coast is clear, okay? You wait here.” I slipped around the corner and into the vestibule. When I swung open the huge wooden doors that led to the sanctuary, Jesse fell out of them, landing almost on top of me, and I shrieked.

  “Sorry!” I pressed my hand to my chest. “You scared the crap out of me.”

  Jesse laughed. “Me, too. I thought it was a judgment from God, and I was being forcibly ejected from the church.”

  “Not yet.” I smiled and stood back to look him over. “Wow, Jess, you look good. So handsome!”

  And he did. The black tux fit him well, and his blue eyes were bright with excitement. He grinned down at me.

  “Thanks. So, um, how’s Julia doing?” I could tell he was trying to tone down his happy, but he couldn’t help the widening of his smile, making the famous dimples pop. It made my heart glad to see that he was as excited about today as Jules was.

  “She’s walking on sunshine. Not a bit of nerves in that girl.” I put my hands on my hips. “But you need to clear out, because she wants to see the church before she gets dressed. And you know the drill: no bride/groom meet-up before the big moment.”

  “I’ll go back to my room.” He turned and then stopped and wrapped me in a giant hug. “Thanks, Ava, for being such a good friend to Jules. I know things haven’t always been easy the last few months, but you’ve been great. I—”

  “Ava? Jesse?” Mrs. Cole stood just inside the vestibule, eyebrows raised as she looked at us.

  I wasn’t doing anything wrong, but still, I stepped back as though guilty. “Hey, Mrs. Cole. Jules wanted to see the church decorated, and I came to scout it out, make sure it was safe.” I pointed to Jesse. “And good thing I did, or there would’ve been an unsanctioned bride and groom run-in.”

  She frowned. “Jesse, your father was looking for you. Something about Desmond’s shoes.” She gave her soon-to-be-son-in-law a pointed smile.

  “Okay, I better go see what’s going on. See you in the church, Ava.” He shot me an apologetic wink before making a quick exit.

  “I’ll just go tell Julia it’s safe for her to come out.” I began to slip past her.

  “Ava, just a minute. I’d like to have a word with you.”

  My stomach clenched. I’d managed to avoid being alone with Julia’s mother over the last week. Now the jig was up.

  “Sure.” I shifted my weight uneasily. “What’s up?”

  “When Julia told us what Liam did to her, I’m certain you can understand how we felt. He hurt her. Deeply. They’d been dating for almost a year, and her heart was broken.”

  I bit my tongue to keep from arguing with her. Julia had never been in love with Liam, not really. Their time together had been fraught with arguments, more downs than ups, and while Liam had definitely made a huge mistake in how he broke up with her—in front of all our friends at the surprise birthday party she’d planned—ending their relationship had been the right thing to do.

  Still, this was hardly the time to contest the point with
Mrs. Cole. So I kept my mouth shut.

  “I know you were a good friend during those hard days. I appreciate that. But what I don’t understand, and can’t understand, is how you could even think of dating Liam after what he did to the girl you call your best friend.”

  I winced. “It wasn’t quite like that. And Julia was already dating Jesse when—”

  “Be that as it may. It’s just not what’s done. Of course, I can’t undo it. I just wanted to point out that if it were up to me, neither of you would be at this wedding. My daughter has a much greater capacity for forgiveness than I do. I want you to realize that.”

  Now temper bubbled just beneath my skin. “Mrs. Cole, today is Julia’s wedding day, and I’m not going to argue with you. You’re right. Jules is amazing. But Liam doesn’t deserve to be treated like a criminal. He broke up with her, and he made a mistake in how he did it. But he regrets that, and he and Julia made their peace. Julia’s marrying a wonderful man today. Jesse loves her beyond reason. No one is happier for her than me.”

  Mrs. Cole didn’t move for a minute, and then she turned. “You’d better go get Julia if she wants to see the sanctuary before people arrive. It’s getting late.”

  THE CHURCH WAS FULL to bursting. Late afternoon sunlight shone through the stained glass windows onto the gleaming wood of the pews and the altar, and flowers adorned just about every surface. I stood outside the sanctuary with the rest of the bridesmaids, the mothers of the bride and groom and the ushers. The last few guests were seated, and Giff closed the doors.

  “Are we all set, ladies and gents?” He scanned the bunch of us. “Is the photographer ready? Because here comes the bride and her dad.”

  Julia swept in, clinging to her father’s arm. Her gown was an ivory column, with the slimmest of lace strap sleeves holding up the bodice. The same delicate lace ran from the scooped neckline down over the skirt and then gave way to soft tulle. Her light brown hair was partially caught up in the back and fell in huge curls over her shoulders, covered by the light mist of her veil.

  There was an audible gasp from everyone in the anteroom, and Mrs. Cole began to dab at her eyes. Jamie and Jennifer, Julia’s younger sisters and co-maids of honor, stepped forward to fuss with the skirt. The photographer snapped pictures, and Giff snapped his fingers.

  “Bridesmaids! Line up here, please, in the order the lovely Mrs. Krupp gave you last night. Mrs. Fleming, you go in first, and Mrs. Cole, you’re next.”

  I smirked. I knew there’d been some territorial wars between Giff and the church’s wedding coordinator; it was why Giff hadn’t been at the rehearsal last night. She’s made it clear that anything having to do with the ceremony or the church was her responsibility. They seemed to have reached some sort of détente today.

  I was behind Courtney, the last bridesmaid before the maids of honor. I watched as she made her way up the white runner that covered the church’s red carpet. I held my breath, counting the beats in the music.

  “Okay, kiddo. You’re up.” Giff gave me a little push, and I stumbled forward, recovering my feet just as I stepped into the church. I forced myself to look forward, smiling up toward the altar. I didn’t dare look left or right; if I saw Liam, I just might give up and jump into his arms.

  I finally reached Courtney and turned to face the congregation. Now that I was safely in place, I scanned the rows until I found the familiar blue eyes, warm and steady on me. I let my gaze linger on him until a ripple of ‘awwws’ ran through the assembly, drawing my attention back to the business at hand.

  Pretty little Nala marched down the aisle toward us, her chin set and in full command of the crowd. She glanced left and right, smiling at her subjects. When she reached her mom, Courtney bent to give her a kiss. I gave her a thumbs up.

  And then it was Desmond’s turn. I wasn’t sure what he would do today, but apparently he’d decided to take advantage of the situation. He strutted, holding the small satin pillow that bore the phony rings, and everyone tittered when he stopped to give one of his cousins a high-five as he passed. He grinned at his father and mother and trotted up to stand next to Jesse.

  And then the doors closed again, as the organ fell silent. There was a pause during which it felt as though the whole room held its collective breath, and then the trumpet sounded one triumphant trill.

  Mrs. Cole stood up, followed quickly by the rest of the guests. Everyone’s eyes turned to the doors, which were flung open by two ushers, revealing the bride and her father. I was watching Jesse, waiting for the moment he spotted Julia. I knew when he did, because a wave of shocked awe fell over his face, and his lips dropped open. He blinked rapidly, making it even harder for me to hold back the tears I’d meant to get out of the way last night. His eyes never left her as she walked gladly toward him and took his hand.

  The ceremony passed in a blur of words, standing and sitting. All I could see was the joy on Julia’s face as Jesse slipped the ring on her finger. The flash of humor as she nearly dropped her flowers when passing them to Jamie. The mix of happy disbelief and banked passion in Jesse’s eyes when the priest finally said, “You may now kiss your bride.” The exultation as they lifted their joined hands and danced back up the aisle.

  And then my groomsman partner was offering me his arm, and we were laughing up the aisle behind them, spilling into the vestibule where there was a mass hysteria of hugging and kissing.

  “Yes, yes, congratulations all around! Now, bridal party, I need you all to move off to the left here, that’s right. Ushers, as soon as we’re clear, you can open the doors and guide the guests out to the church yard. Make sure everyone gets a bottle of bubbles.” Giff pointed to a basket that held over a hundred small white plastic bottles.

  I knew Julia and Jesse had opted to forego the traditional receiving line, since they wanted to get to the post-ceremony photos and still have time to enjoy their cocktail party. We all hid out behind closed doors as the guests made their way outside. I slipped my arm around Julia’s waist and leaned up to kiss her cheek.

  “Congratulations, Mrs. Fleming!”

  Her face went pink, and she grinned, grabbing me in a hug. “That’s me! Mrs. Fleming. Oh my God, Ave, did you ever think we’d get here?”

  A mélange of memories flew through my mind, from the very first day we’d met in our freshman dorm at Birch, both of us tentative and unsure, to our late-night candy runs, movie marathons and long study sessions at our favorite coffee shop, Beans So Good. I remembered the mess of our junior year, with Julia and Liam’s break-up, her early days with Jesse . . . my own misery when I realized I had a crush on my best friend’s ex. Even during our last year at Birch, when Julia was living with Jesse and I’d moved in with Liam, we’d stuck close, meeting for lunch on campus and having regular girls’ nights.

  “I always knew we’d make it.” I stepped around her to give Jesse a squeeze. “Take care of my girl, Jesse.”

  “I promise.” He tightened his arm around her shoulder, and I blinked back tears again.

  Giff clapped his hands and raised his voice. “All right, bridesmaids, groomsmen—where’s my flower girl and ring bearer? Fabulous, kiddos, here you go. Everyone head out. Same order as you went into the church. And after the bride and groom make their big exit, all of you go back into the church for pictures. And . . . go.”

  This was no sedate march down the aisle. We all dashed out into air that was filled with bubbles and cheering people. I made it to the edge of the crowd and turned to watch the others.

  “Hey, pretty girl, got a minute for a lonely guy?” Familiar arms snaked around my waist.

  “I don’t know. Maybe, but my boyfriend probably wouldn’t like it.” I covered Liam’s hands with my own.

  “Eh, who cares about him?” Warm lips nuzzled my neck. “He’s probably a loser anyway, letting you wander around here by yourself, looking all gorgeous. Easy pickings for any big, bad wolf who might happen by.”

  I giggled. “I do happen to have a weakness for big, b
ad wolves.” I watched as Nala and Desmond walked carefully down the steps, Des hopping to pop bubbles with the ring pillow as he went and Nala shaking her head at his antics.

  “Do you have any idea how freaking sexy you are?” Liam slid his hands lower to span my stomach.

  “You like the dress?”

  He growled into my ear. “Yeah, a lot. It looks good on you. But I have a feeling I’m going to like it even better when it’s on the floor of our hotel room tonight.”

  I hummed with anticipation. “I think you may be right.”

  The doors opened one last time, and Jesse ran out, pulling Julia along. She was laughing, her head tossed back, as they darted through the onslaught of bubbles. They stopped at the gray limousine parked at the curb, and the driver opened the door for them.

  “Where’re they going? I thought you had pictures.” Liam snugged me back closer to him as we watched Jesse load his bride into the car.

  “We do. It’s all a ruse.” I turned within his arms, smiling into his eyes. “They’re just going to drive around to the back of the church and go in. But it lets everyone see them leave and the photographer can take pictures. As soon as the guests clear out, I have to go back inside.”

  “Can I wait here with you? I really don’t want to go to the cocktail party without you.”

  I hesitated. My encounter with Mrs. Cole before the ceremony was fresh in my mind, but then again . . . I’d always had a rebellious streak. Okay, maybe not so much a streak as just a speck. But still . . .

  “Of course you can. Just hang out in the back of the church. Once the photographer’s done, I can ride over to the reception with you.” I was pretty sure I was supposed to stay with the rest of the wedding party, but what were they going to do at this point, toss me out? Ban me from the reception? Liam didn’t know anyone else here except Giff and Jeff. Giff’s work would keep him too busy to hang out at the reception, and Jeff was acting as assistant today. I knew he’d soon be heading over to the reception site to keep his eye on preparations there.