by Stella Brie
“That was an accident! You’re a wonderful nurse.”
“Well, I’m sure you didn’t give David a nausea medication on purpose to kick him out of the trial, did you? Had you ever even had a patient qualify for a trial?” She waits for my answer.
“Well, no.”
“Point proven. Best practice would have been to discuss it with a more experienced doctor who had experience with trials, but honestly, doctors make decisions all the time and correct them later. The whole thing was a terrible, tragic accident. It won’t affect our friendship in the slightest. We are BFFs for life now, girl. You can’t get rid of me so easily.” With tears in her eyes, she hugs me again. “I’m so sorry, though, you had to go through all of it.”
We sit there and talk quietly for a while before we have to go see our next patients.
CHAPTER 20
KATE
Opening the door later that evening, Lev strides in and encases me in a massive hug. Tension releases from my body as he holds me tight. This man sure knows how to give good hugs. It’s like all the warmth from him surrounds me and seeps into the cold tundra I’ve been living in for the last three years, melting it piece by piece.
“Hey there, stranger.” I’d missed seeing him the last week. He’d been busy opening a restaurant in Bozeman, the first in that location.
“Hello, sweetheart.” Raising his head, he studies my face intently. I know Lowell told him, so I wait. “It changes nothing for me. I’ve been all in from the beginning. I’m devastated for you, and anything I can do to help, let me know, and I will do it. I’ll be here to help you with your past, but know this, I want your future. That’s where I want to go with you.”
Stunned, I stare at him as I digest the serious expression on his usually easygoing face. My eyes tear up. Thinking about it, I want a future with him, too, but he still doesn’t know it all. Until he does, I don’t want to make any declarations in return.
Smiling to let him know I heard him, my response is simple. “Thank you, that means a lot to me. The last few years have been hard, as people have judged me harshly without even knowing all the facts. I started asking for shorter assignments so I could move on before they could get to know me or recognize me. The acceptance from Lowell, Sarah, and you means the world to me.”
Raising my hand to his heart, he lets me feel its strong and steady beat. “Sweetheart, we were lucky to get you here.” Leaning down, he gives me a long, deeply passionate kiss that conveys his feelings. I bask in the sensation of warmth and emotion this man gives so freely. Groaning, he breaks away and sighs. “As much as I’d like to stand here and kiss you, we have to get going so we can get to the winery before dark. Are you ready?”
Grabbing my bag and jacket, I step over and punch in the code to set the alarm. He takes my bag and hand to lead me to his SUV. Putting my bag in the back, he jumps in the driver’s seat. Once we’re on the road, he takes my hand again and doesn’t let go.
About two hours later, we pull into a driveway surrounded by vines on each side. Row after row of green lines producing yummy goodness. Excited, I give Lev a big smile.
Chuckling, he tells me, “If I’d have known you would be this excited, we’d have come sooner.”
“I thought about it every day since our first date. I wasn’t ready to visit the winery with you, but now I am.” Staring at him, I feel a blush creeping up on my face as I try to tell him I want all of him without saying the words. Well, that was subtle. Not.
Inhaling sharply, he squeezes my hand. Pulling up to the front, he helps me out and grabs our bags so we can go check in. Entering the lobby, I look around and admire the sophisticated boutique hotel. The style is more French country than Montana, and it feels like we took a longer trip than just a couple hours. There’s a massive fireplace, a restaurant and bar, and cozy spots all over the place where people can gather and socialize.
After checking in, Lev hands me a key for the room. Picking up the bags, I follow closely behind him to the elevator. Entering the room, I gasp at how pretty it is. The beautiful colors and large balcony make the suite feel like a grand room in someone’s house, not a hotel. There’s even a small gas fireplace set into the wall.
“Very romantic,” I tease Lev as he drops our bags onto the luggage rack.
“Well, I figured it couldn’t hurt.” Grinning, he gathers me in his arms and leans down and peppers small kisses on my throat. “Dinner is in a half-hour, if you want to change and freshen up. Or we could just stay right here.”
Laughing, I push him away. “I’m starving.” Looking over, I see him wiggle his eyebrows. “For food. Food first.”
Giving an exaggerated sigh, he flops down onto the bed to stare up at me. “Why don’t you go first, as it won’t take me long to get ready?”
Chuckling, I head to the bathroom, grab a quick shower, brush my teeth, and put on some make-up. I pad back out into the room in my towel to find some clothes for dinner.
He takes in my smooth, damp skin and jumps up from the bed. Stalking towards me, I laugh as he captures a corner of the towel. “Are you sure you want to go to dinner? I can order us room service to eat here. Just the two of us. Naked.” His hand caresses my shoulders, slipping down to the front to tug lightly on the towel.
“Stop. Feed me.”
His hand dips into the front of the towel to caress my nipple.
Moaning, I reach up and grab his hand. “Feed me, and I’ll reward you later.”
“Hmmm, reward?” He leans down and licks his way up my neck. “You’re all the reward I need, but I guess we need to eat.” His stomach growls, and he gives a loud laugh. “Fine, fine.” Raising his hands, he backs towards the bathroom to grab his own shower.
Rifling through the suitcase, I pull out a black silky tank top, royal blue pleated skirt, and black fuzzy but short cardigan. Strappy, black heels complete the picture. Getting dressed quickly, I’m arranging my hair when Lev steps out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his hips.
I hold my breath as I take in every inch I can see. His body is thick, muscular, and perfect. My hands clench as I hold them at my sides. His hands slide to his hips as he turns his body to face me.
“Breathe, sweetheart.” Smiling, he takes a few steps forward.
“Stop. Nope. Seriously. I need you. I mean, I need food. Then you. Don’t come any closer.” Swinging my head from side to side to tell him no, I know I should use this time to look away, but I can’t. He is seriously the sexiest man I’ve ever seen.
Holding up his hands, he grabs some clothes and puts his hand on top of the towel. Without turning away, he drops the towel and stands before me for a minute.
Deep breath. Wow. Another deep breath. His body is magnificent. I know I’m staring, but I can’t stop. Lev’s built, with sheer muscles that seemingly stack symmetrically on top of each other to create a magnificent package. And speaking of package. Sweet baby. I’m hot and achy now. Mission accomplished.
Smirking, he gets dressed in black dress pants, a green button down, and a grey sport coat. Fanning myself, I finally turn to the mirror to finish getting ready. I almost don’t recognize my flushed face and sparkling eyes. I haven’t seen desire and happiness on my face in a long time.
Spritzing a bit of perfume and adding a dainty gold necklace, I turn back around to face him. “I’m ready.”
Reaching forward, he raises my hand to place a kiss in the center. “Beautiful.” Tingles radiate in my palm as we go down to dinner.
Entering the restaurant, I see beautiful tables set with candlelight, a fireplace burning low in the background, and soft lighting, creating the perfect romantic ambiance. As we sit down, the owner comes over personally to deliver our wine menu and talk to Lev. He’s a slightly older man, maybe mid-40s, with an old school fake tan and sparkling white teeth. The kind of man you might see in California, not Montana.
“Lev, glad to see you. How’s everything going so far?” Reaching out, he shakes Lev’s hand, but his eyes dart over to me.
“That’s great. Sounds like everything is going well.” He moves over to my side of the table. Picking up my other hand, he sort of kisses the back of it. Wait, did he lick my hand? “And who might you be?”
Lev grimaces quickly before replying, “My girlfriend, Kate Michaels. Kate, this is Howard Gentry, the owner of the winery and hotel.”
“Nice to meet you, Howard. Your winery and hotel are beautiful.” Pulling my hand from his, I slide it under the table.
“Thank you, but the beauty outside does not compare to the beauty before me.” His hand rests on my shoulder, lightly rubbing back and forth. My shoulder, which is covered, only by a thin strap, since I’d taken off my cardigan due to the warm room. Yuck. What a creep!
I look at Lev and raise my eyebrow. A hard look comes over Lev’s face as he acknowledges my silent demand. Stepping over, Lev pulls me up from the chair and into his side. His hand firmly rubs the same shoulder, as if to erase the previous touch.
“We appreciate your hospitality. Please don’t let us keep you from enjoying your other important guests. I believe I saw the Mayor of Helena walk by a second ago?”
Licking his lips, Howard’s eyes drift down from my head to my toes, as if to memorize every inch of me. Returning his eyes to Lev, a jolt goes through him as he easily reads the danger on Lev’s face. “I must see to the other guests, thank you for the reminder. Please have a wonderful dinner, and excuse me. It was nice meeting you, Kate Michaels. Come back anytime.”
Sitting back down, I shake my head as Lev lets out a frustrated sigh. “I’m sorry about Howard. In the past, I’ve always dealt with his rep, not him. After meeting him, I may have to rethink my future orders.”
While I agree, I don’t want to sit here and dwell on that creep the rest of the evening. “You handled it perfectly. Thank you. Let’s just enjoy our dinner.” I reach up and smooth out the frown lines on his forehead.
Capturing my hand, he links his fingers with mine and picks up the wine menu. “You’re right. This is our weekend. To get away and explore.”
After ordering, Lev leans forward with a serious look on his face and murmurs, “When Lowell told us your story, he mentioned you wanted more than just a physical relationship with him, with me. Is that true?”
“Yes.” I am not sure where this is going. He seems restless, almost likes he’s nervous. “Lowell is...” I don’t know how much to reveal about my relationship with Lowell. The lines seem loose and transparent.
“Lowell is? Sweetheart, I want you to talk to me.” His hand raises my chin so I can see he is sincere.
Reaching out for my wine, I take a sip before continuing. “Lowell is very dominate physically, but he can be detached emotionally. I couldn’t tell if he was interested in only the physical, or if he could see more for us.”
Lev searches my eyes for something. “It’s good that you push him for more. He needs to know he can’t remain detached if he wants a relationship. How are you feeling about dating us both? Or being in a relationship with us both?”
“It’s been easier and harder than I thought. I don’t know where the lines are drawn. It’s easy to care about you both, as you connect with different sides of me. It’s hard to think about the future. Why do you think this can work? What do I do if I start to have feelings for someone else?”
Lev stiffens as he hears the last question. “Is there someone else?”
Shifting in my chair, I quietly tell him about my growing feelings for Shaw. “I don’t know what to do. Please don’t get me wrong, he has never shown me anything but friendship, but I have these feelings, and I want you to know about them first. I’m trying to be more transparent with you and Lowell about everything.”
A look of relief crosses his face. “Sweetheart, if you have feelings for Shaw, you need to speak to him about those feelings. From my perspective, and Lowell’s, we love our brothers, and if one of them makes you happy, then that makes me happy.”
“How can you be so sure this won’t blow up in our faces?”
Silently, Lev reaches out and takes a drink of wine. This is the first true sign of nervousness he has displayed tonight. “I don’t. It’s probably my biggest concern. We once fell for a woman. All four of us. She worked in intelligence with Lowell and helped Shaw lead our operations from the control center. All of us became close.”
“All four of you dated someone else? Had a relationship with her?”
His eyes cloud as he thinks back to the past. “Her name was Vanessa. Shaw and Thayer called her Nessa. She brought something to all four of us, although her relationships with Shaw and Thayer were probably the closest. We didn’t set out to date one woman, but given the secrecy demanded for our operations, it was hard to have a relationship outside of the Army at all.”
Jealousy punches me in the stomach as I listen to his story. “What happened?”
“She wanted a political career in D.C. Being in a relationship with four men would have hindered that ambition. Vanessa broke it off, moved to D.C. for a position, got married to one man, and had a baby. She got everything she needed. As for us, we all got out of the Army, moved to Montana, and dealt with the fallout as best as we could. I jumped into helping Shaw build the ranch back up, and then into building my restaurant business. Shaw’s expanded the ranch to about five times the size of what his family had built. Lowell escaped into writing. Thayer...” He pauses as he thinks about Thayer. “In the beginning, he threw himself into every adrenaline-fueled activity he could find, with little regard for his safety. Thankfully, he stopped pushing himself. Until he heard about the baby at Christmas. Even though it had been three years, the baby seemed to flip a switch in him. He started pushing his physical boundaries again. Which is why you’re here now.”
“Oh, my goodness. I’m so sorry, Lev, sorry for you all, that you were hurt. I sort of understand why she would take that path, though.”
Lev rears back, a bleak look on his face, as if my last words hit hard. “What?”
“The world can be very cruel. Standing against the norm, whether or not it’s by choice, is an incredibly tough thing to do. Sometimes it’s just a slash of the knife from the words thrown at you, sometimes events occur that bring you to your knees and rip your world apart. I am not sure this relationship is an easy thing to choose.”
“It’s not that I don’t understand.” He takes a deep breath and blows it out as he looks around the restaurant. His hands clench as he works to get his thoughts under control. “I was just hoping for a miracle, I think.”
Confused, my eyes narrow as I try to figure out what he’s thinking. Going through the conversation, I realize he thought I’d make the same decision as Vanessa. Leaving them when the job was finished.
“Lev, I’m not Vanessa.” Laying my hand on one of his clenched hands, I wait until his eyes meet mine again. “While I can completely sympathize with her choices, my life is in a completely different place than hers. My normal was ripped apart. My normal is having people think I am at fault for the murder of thirteen innocent people. Fourteen, if you count David’s father. Since I’ve been here and met all three of you, I’ve realized my normal means I need to grab on to happiness with both hands. I don’t know what the future holds for all of us. I’m worried this will all fall apart. And that’s with just you and Lowell. What happens with me and Shaw? What if Thayer comes home and hates me? This could end very badly for me, too. All these unknowns would have scared me away before, because I wasn’t sure I could take any more hits and survive. Now I have you both, and I don’t feel so alone anymore. All I can do is tell you I want to be in a relationship with you, and with Lowell. I want to put my heart on the line, even though it’s scary as hell.”
Lev’s remains still as he digests
my words. His hands unclench so he can lace his fingers with mine. “You’re right. Damn, sweetheart. I’m sorry. The old hurt kind of took me by surprise. I forgot my own words for a second when I spoke about Vanessa. I should have remembered. I want to be your future, not your past. Not my past either. We’ll take it one day at a time.”
Relieved, my tension eases as I lightly stroke his hand. We order dessert and a wine tasting to finish our meal. While we wait for it to arrive, I silently wonder about Vanessa. What was she like? Another woman who fit with these incredible men. Jealousy would be punching me in the stomach, but knowing she walked away, I only feel sadness for them all and happiness for me. For me, they’re like the sun after a storm. Bright, beautiful, and a sign of things to come.
And what about Shaw? Should I talk to him about my feelings? Although Lev suggested I bring it up, I don’t think I will. Given what Lev just told me, Shaw is struggling with the past. If Shaw wants me, he will need to come to me.
AFTER OUR SERIOUS DISCUSSION last night, Lev and I held each other and slept. We were both worn out from the long day, and last night’s dinner discussion wiped us out emotionally.
Waking up, I leave Lev sleeping and take my coffee to drink on the balcony. The view of the vineyards and mountains nearby is incredible. Peaceful.
I’m enjoying the downtime when I hear a noise behind me. Lev strolls out with a cup of coffee and reaches down to give me a soft kiss on the lips.
“Hmmm, good morning, sweetheart. I could get used to this view every day,” he states, although he doesn’t seem in the least bit interested in the vineyards. Rather, his attention is focused on me.
“Good morning. Totally agree. The views are incredible. Both of them.” I wink at him. “I’m looking forward to the tour and wine tasting today. Aren’t you?” Stretching, I raise my legs to the balcony. The robe slips a bit, getting close to flashing him, but I don’t reach to close it.
He stares at the edges of my robe like he could will it to part. “What time is the tour?”
