Finding Our Forever: (A Defining Moments Novel)

by Andee Michelle

  “Well, there you go. There’s a passion. Why not go to school to be a teacher, or a counselor. Then you could work with kids year-round.”

  Why had I never really thought about this before? I mean, our dad had always pushed us to do things that were not “regular.” He wanted us to do great things, and to make great money. I don’t ever remember a time where we discussed what our passion was. It was, “Hey, lawyers make good money, and you’re smart. You should totally be a lawyer. They get all the hot chicks too.” And there you have it. My dad. I shake my head at the memory.

  “What?”

  “Sorry, was just thinking about something my dad used to tell us. Not important. Let’s change the subject, shall we. That all got too serious, too fast.” She nods with a smile.

  “So, tell me about your family. I know you have a twin brother, and your mom is awesome. Tell me about the rest.” She once again brings that damn bottle to her lips. I close my eyes when she puts the end of it in her mouth, and I hear her laugh. “Focus, Eli. Your family.”

  I shake my head. She keeps busting me creepily watching her drink from that damn beer bottle.

  “Yeah, so you met Ben. He’s obviously my twin brother, and yes, we are identical twins. You’d be amazed how many people ask us if we’re identical. I’d think it’s pretty damn obvious, but I have to look at his ugly mug every day,” I reply. “He’s my best friend and the biggest pain in the ass in my life.” I stop long enough to take a few bites of my dinner before I continue. “We have a younger brother, Destry, who is almost eighteen and goes to Boise State right now. He’s transferring to UC next semester, so he’ll be home sometime this summer. Our parents are divorced. My dad has a girlfriend, and they have a baby, my half sister, Amelia, who is just a few weeks old. She’s a sweet pea. Dad’s girlfriend is young and really irritating, but we tolerate her. Mom is, well, Mom. She picked herself up and dusted herself off when my dad bailed on her, and now she has a great job she loves and just started dating her neighbor, Cord, who also just happens to be her boss. He owns the restaurant she works in, ‘Saint’.”

  I look up from my plate and see the sympathy in Sara’s eyes. “I’m sorry,” she tells me gently. “I shouldn’t have asked such a personal question on our first date.”

  I study her face for a moment and realize she thinks I’m upset. My hands are clenched around my fork and my breathing is a little heavier than normal. I relax my shoulders and shake my head.

  “Don’t be sorry. It’s not a big deal. They’ve been divorced for almost a year, and my mom is happy now, ya know—other than the whole ‘getting hit by a car’ thing,” I joke, but I can tell she thinks she’s upset me. “Tell me about your family.”

  She smiles and seems happy to move the subject away from my dysfunctional family.

  “Well, let’s see. I come from a big Catholic family. My parents have been married for forty years, have six kids—three girls, three boys—and I’m the surprise at the end.” She stops long enough to take another drink of her beer. Isn’t that thing empty yet? “My dad is a lawyer, and because they wanted a big family immediately after they were married, my mom stayed home. All five of my other brothers and sisters are in their thirties, and all but one is married with kids. Most of them live within a hundred miles of me, except Bryson. He has wanderlust and travels constantly. He says he’ll settle down one day when he’s ready, but he loves to move around, so he does. He’s a wildlife photographer.”

  “Wow. You sound as though you had a very drama-free childhood,” I comment with a smile. “Your family sounds amazing. What do your other brothers and sisters do?”

  We continue to chat for what feels like minutes, but when I look at my phone to see what time it is, I realize it’s 10:00 p.m. and they’re cleaning up to close the restaurant. I’m surprised we got so lost in conversation that we didn’t notice the time.

  “I guess we better get out of here before they lock us in.” She giggles. “I really had a good time tonight, Eli. I hope we can do this again sometime.”

  And once again, she has surprised me. I don’t think this girl could be more perfect. I mentally make a checklist.

  Hot

  Sassy

  Has a career she loves

  Good family

  Great sense of humor

  Hot

  No game playing

  Enjoys beer

  Eats real food

  And she’s hot

  Yep, she’s perfect so far. There is only one thing left we haven’t discussed, and that’s past relationships. That’s probably where I’ll get the crazy. I’ve never met a girl who didn’t have a sad story to tell. A drunk dad, bullied at school, crazy mom, or abusive ex-boyfriend.

  I pay the tab and we start to head out, but I can’t let this night end thinking that this girl is perfect. I need to know what her underlying crazy is.

  As we head to the parking lot, I ask the question I’m dying to know. “So, any long-term relationships?”

  She shares a sweet smile and then nods. “Carter. We were best friends for a long time before we actually dated but yeah. We were together for the last two years of high school,” she tells me with happiness in her voice, which is not the emotion I expect to hear in a conversation about an ex. “We broke up when we left for separate colleges and we’ve remained friends. He got married last summer and they’re expecting their first baby in a few months.” She pauses for a moment, looking as though she expects me to reply, and when I don’t, she asks, “And what about you?”

  I’m confused, so I’m not really thinking clearly when I spout off my answer. “Nope, I’ve never been interested in a long-term relationship.” And with that awesomeness, she stops walking and looks at me curiously.

  “And why not?”

  I feel like a dumbass for that answer, but it’s true. I should just be honest with her from the beginning. “Well, I’m only twenty years old. I have things I want to do before I get married and settle down to have a family.”

  “Good answer.”

  “I’m serious. I mean, I know someday I want to get married, settle down, and have kids, but it won’t be any time soon. My parents married really young because they got pregnant with me and Ben in high school. I always promised myself I wouldn’t get caught up in that. I want to enjoy being single until I’m financially stable enough to have a family. Until then, I just want to have fun.”

  She regards me for a moment, and I can’t really place the look on her face. “Eli, I can’t tell you how much I appreciate your honesty. I’ve been on a few dates where the guy tried to blow smoke up my ass with the whole ‘Oh, I’d love to get married and have kids as soon as I find the perfect woman for me’ bullshit. It drives me crazy when guys assume that’s what all women want to hear, because for me, it’s not. Do I want to get married and have kids? Sure, someday. But it’s not a priority right now because I’m young and enjoying my independence.”

  And if she could become any more perfect in my eyes, it was right now, in this moment. The idea that I have met the perfect woman at twenty years old is absolutely ludicrous.

  When we get to her car, I open her door for her, but she doesn’t get in. She turns to put her back against the car and looks up at me with those soft chocolate eyes.

  “I had a really good time. Thank you for dinner,” she says with a flirty tone to her voice. I lean my head down toward her face, but I’m so much taller than her that it makes it completely awkward. Just as I’m about to pull back, she reaches up, putting her arms around my neck, and pulls my head down toward hers. “I want you to kiss me right now, Eli, and if that means you gotta pick me up to do it, so be it.” I lift her from the ground and not so gently smash my lips into hers. She takes every single ounce of it and melts into me. Before I even realize what’s happening, I have her pinned to the side of her car, devouring her mouth and running my hands all over her body.

  She pulls back, gasping, and presses her forehead to mine. “Jesus Christ,” she moan
s.

  Yep, this woman is going to be the death of me.

  THE NEXT DAY, I’m getting ready to head over to Mama’s for dinner when my phone chimes, and I can’t help but smile when I see Sara’s name flash. That kiss had me taking a longer shower than normal, with lots of soap.

  Sara: Hey, hot lips. When are we going out again? Or was last night enough of a relationship for ya?

  And once again, I’m laughing because she’s just so damn sassy.

  Me: Well, if you wanna make out, I guess I could take you out for some food tomorrow night.

  Sara: I’m totally down for more making out… but I’m definitely going to need some nourishment first.

  Me: Sounds like a plan. Can I pick you up at your place this time or are we still playing the “Eli can’t know where I live” game?

  Sara: Smartass. 2259 W. Lexington Ave. What time you showin’ up?

  Me: How about 6 this time?

  Me: Oh, and what are you hungry for?

  Sara: 6 sounds good… and I’m game for anything.

  Me: Anything, huh?

  Sara: Food

  Me: See you tomorrow, beautiful.

  Sara: *kissy face emoji*

  I pull the hoodie over my head and start toward the door. I haven’t seen Ben since yesterday. He didn’t come home last night, and I can only hope he received Mom’s text about dinner tonight.

  ONCE BEN AND I get to Mom’s, we get Destry on FaceTime so he’s in on the get-together. They are both on board with Mom going to Italy, and I knew they would be. Although the dinner goes well, I can tell something’s off. She ordered pizza instead of cooking, and Cord isn’t here. When I asked her about it, she said Cord supports her decision to go and to leave it at that. I tell her he texted me earlier in the day and asked me to check on her. She just replies that they left things on a bad note and to leave it alone. She’s upset and I hate it, but I wouldn’t want her meddling in my business, so I try to not meddle in hers.

  We eat pizza and chat for a bit after Mom tells us about Italy. We’re excited for her but nervous also. Destry is the only one who has ever been away from her for more than a few days, and even he is moving home. I try to change the subject to something I know will make her happy.

  “So, I had a date last night, and I’m seeing her again tomorrow,” I tell them. Ben gives me a knowing grin, and I shake my head to keep him quiet about who it is.

  “That’s great, Eli!” Mom exclaims. “What’s she like?”

  I tell them about how sassy she is and that I really enjoy her company. I leave out the part about basically molesting her against her car in the parking lot. Pretty sure Mom would smack me for that one. I can hear her now: “Have more respect for her than that, Elijah,” and for the first time in my twenty years of life, I actually agree with her on the subject.

  Sara is different, and I want to treat her different. She deserves better than being mauled by a horny guy in a parking lot. I respect her and all her honesty more than any woman I’ve ever been with. The truth is, she’s probably the first woman I’ve ever really been interested in for more than a quick bite to eat and a sweaty roll in the sheets. She has passion for what she does. She has a great family. She’s funny and feisty and in-your-face honest.

  I really need to stop making lists about how great she is. It’s getting creepy, and I’ve only gone on one date with her.

  Before we leave Mom’s, I ask Ben if he wants to go hit up Grady’s to shoot some pool and he agrees, which surprises me.

  When we get there, I breathe a sigh of relief when I see Jessie waitressing. She has never carded us, probably because I bagged her in the stockroom early last year and she’s basically been trying for a repeat since then. I’ve considered it, but now the idea isn’t even remotely interesting.

  When she gets to our table, she doesn’t look at me but focuses on Ben. He doesn’t even look up from the menu when he says, “I’ll have a Miller Lite on draft, and can you put in for an order of nachos too, please? Eli, what do you want?”

  I start to tell her what I want, but she turns and bolts without another word, and I look up when I hear Ben laughing loudly. “Dude, she just burned your shit!”

  “Shut up,” I grind out.

  When she returns with Ben’s glass, I don’t wait for her to ask. “Hey, Jessie, I’ll have a Corona please.”

  She nods but says nothing before walking off. “Damn, Eli, what’d you do to that girl? She hates you.” I look at Ben and give him a shit-eating grin, and he starts laughing. “She’s gonna spit in your beer, dude. You gotta stop man-whoring your way around the city.”

  I shrug my shoulders and leave it at that. He doesn’t need to know that I’ll be a one-woman man until Sara gets tired of my shit and kicks me to the curb. Hell, Sara and I haven’t even discussed a relationship, but I already know I’ll keep her around as long as possible.

  “So, what’s going on, Ben?” I ask firmly but with compassion. I don’t want to upset him, but he hasn’t been talking to me about whatever is going on with him, and it’s pissing me off.

  “What do you mean?” he asks, looking genuinely confused.

  “You’ve just been distant lately. You’ve not come home a few nights, you’ve been acting weird, and I haven’t seen you doing any homework. What gives?”

  “I’m fine, Eli. I promise. I’m just figuring out my own shit. I mean, my whole life has basically revolved around doing what Dad wanted me to do. I kind of feel like I want to take back some of those decisions and have a do-over, ya know what I mean?” I shake my head because I know exactly what he means.

  “Yeah, I do.”

  “I kinda feel as though my whole life has been a lie. I want to make changes. Big ones,” he tells me, his voice trailing off as he takes a sip of his beer.

  “I understand that completely.”

  We sit in silence and nibble at the nachos that some old guy delivered, along with my beer. I think maybe Jessie doesn’t want to see me. That’s weird though because the last time I was in here was just a few weeks ago and she was all over me.

  “I’ll be right back,” I tell Ben before heading to the bathroom. The moment I round the corner going toward the bathroom, I hear Jessie’s voice coming from the stockroom where the door is standing open, and she’s crying.

  “It’s yours. You’re the only guy I’ve been with in six months, Drake.”

  “I don’t believe you. It was one time, Jessie. We had sex one time and you said you were on the pill. That baby can’t be mine.” With that, he storms out of the room and pushes past me. When Jessie comes out of the stockroom a second later, she’s wiping the tears away from her face and rubbing her stomach gently. When she looks up and meets my eyes, she quickly moves her hand and rushes away.

  Poor girl. She seems nice enough, but now she’s found herself in this predicament, and this is exactly why I never take a girls’ word for it about protection. No way in hell am I getting roped into a loveless marriage or into being a daddy before I’m ready. I’ve seen what that does to people.

  When I get back to the table, Ben is chatting it up with some hot blonde, and I can tell that has potential, so I finish off my beer and tell him I’ll meet him at home later. He gives me the chin lift and I’m off.

  It’s early when I get home, so I figure I might as well watch some TV. I get another beer from the fridge and start to lie down on the couch when my phone chimes with a message.

  Makayla: Hey, sexy. What’cha doin’ tonight?

  Ugh. I never should’ve given that girl my phone number.

  Me: Sorry, Makayla. I’m off the market.

  I don’t want to sound like a dick, but I don’t want to beat around the bush with this girl. She’s crazy in the sack, but she’s also crazy in everyday life, and I don’t need it in my life.

  Makayla: Whatever. Let me know when that changes again. Like in a week. Lol

  I don’t respond. I’m done with that. I bring up her contact and block her.

 
I lie down on the couch and am flipping through the channels when I hear Ben stumble in noisily. Lifting my upper body off the couch to see what the hell he’s doing, I chuckle when I realize it’s not just Ben, and that the little blonde from the pub is wrapped around him and attached to his face.

  I lie back down on the couch and return to the channel surfing. I end up watching a show on the History Channel about World War II and am deep in concentration when the noise starts. I turn the volume up louder because I can’t stand to hear my brother having sex, and she’s loud. The TV is halfway up and I can still hear her screeching. That would ruin my hard-on in a heartbeat.

  I give up trying to watch the rest of the show and decide to just go to bed. At least then I can put my Beats on, and it’ll cancel out the disgusting sounds coming from Ben’s room.

  I grab my phone and Beats the moment I get through the door, because if it’s even possible, that girl just got louder. I throw on a little classic Metallica, “Orion” to be exact, and go in to the bathroom to brush my teeth and get ready for bed. Mama always said that I had an old soul and seemed to think she proved her point when I ended up loving all things classic heavy metal. Metallica is my favorite.

  My phone beeps through the music as I finish up the nightly routine. The moment I see Sara’s name, I smile until my face feels like it might crack. Jesus, Eli. Pull it together.

  Sara: You busy?

  Me: Nope. What’s up? Miss me already, huh?

  Sara: *insert eye roll* Yep. Actually, I was hoping you could do me a huge favor???

  Me: Sure, what’s going on?

  Sara: Can you come get me and take me home?

  Me: Uhhhh… sure, where are you and why do you need a ride home?

  Sara: Well, my friend thought it would be cute to trick me into a blind date. He’s creeping me out and I don’t want to stay here.

  The moment I read her text, I’m throwing on a pair of jeans and heading for the door.