Finding Our Forever: (A Defining Moments Novel)

by Andee Michelle

  That was weird.

  The rest of the evening is without drama. We spend a little time chatting with Ramzi at the bar but it’s loud, and after an hour, I’m ready to get out of here.

  We head out and are almost to the truck when I hear gravel crunching behind us and turn to see Ramzi running after us.

  “Eli. Wait!” she shouts. When she stops in front of us, she leans over and puts her hands on her knees, panting loudly. “Jesus, I’m out of shape. Remind me to get back to the gym, Sara,” she groans. “Anyhow, Eli, I need you to do me a favor.” She watches my face for a moment, waiting for what I’m not sure, so I just nod.

  “I think I may have pissed Benji off when I spoke to him earlier. He won’t answer his phone and I really need to talk to him. Do you think you could have him call me?” I’m surprised at the vulnerability in her voice. She doesn’t strike me as the type of woman who lets a man treat her the way Ben is apparently treating her.

  “Sure. No problem,” I respond without even really having to think about it. I need to chat with Ben tonight anyway. He is going to tell me what the hell is going on with him if I have to tie his ass down… which will be hard since he now outweighs me by at least twenty-five or thirty pounds.

  She thanks me, hugs Sara again, and then retreats back to the bar.

  Once inside the cab of the truck, I turn to Sara.

  “Would you be pissed if I took you home and headed to my place?” I ask her quickly. “I really need to talk to Ben about what the hell is going on.”

  She laughs and shakes her head before responding. “Eli, you don’t have to answer to me. Of course I’m not going to be mad if you want to go home.”

  “Well, I know it’s going to be a busy couple of weeks for me and so we won’t see each other much because I have finals coming up, but I feel like if I don’t talk to Ben tonight, I’m not going to get this chance again anytime soon.”

  “You don’t need to explain, Eli. It’s fine,” she retorts. “Maybe this week while you’re crazy busy studying, I’ll come over and make you guys dinner so I can make sure you’re eating, and maybe kiss you a little.” The smile she’s beaming my way makes my heart happy.

  I know we agreed that we’d keep things fun and casual since she’s leaving at the end of the summer, but I know without a doubt that I could fall in love with her if I let myself. She’s everything I never knew I wanted.

  I’ve always been with girls who are plastic. Tons of makeup, expensive clothes, spend enough money on hair and nails to feed a small country, self-absorbed kind of girls. Sara is none of those things. She’s beautiful without trying. She’s genuine. She’s real.

  We drive to her place in silence, and I’m a little concerned by the time we pull up in front of her house. She puts those concerns to rest the moment I put the truck in park by climbing into my lap and kissing me as if she can’t help herself.

  “I wish you could stay, but I understand why you need to go,” she tells me quietly between kisses. “Please text me throughout the week while you’re studying to let me know you’re still in one piece.” She leans back and gives me that smile that melts my heart into a puddle. I’m turning into a freaking sap. Her smile makes me a sap.

  “I will, baby. I’ll keep you posted on when would be a good night for you to come over for that dinner you promised to make me.” I lean into her space and press my lips to hers once more before she untangles herself from my lap and climbs off.

  “I’ll call you tomorrow,” I tell her as she shuts the door behind her. My mama would kick my ass for not walking her to the door, but I’m afraid if I get out of this truck I’ll stay and I really need to talk to Ben. I wait until she gets the door unlocked and she turns and blows me a kiss as she shuts the door. After I see lights start popping on, I put the truck in drive and make my way home.

  When I get to the apartment, Ben is lying on the couch watching TV in nothing but a pair of black basketball shorts, and once again I am shocked to see another tattoo on his chest. When the hell did he start this shit?

  “Jesus, dude. Have you lived in a tattoo shop for the past couple weeks or what?” I bark. He jumps up and heads my way, looking none too happy.

  “What did you say to Ramzi about me?” he asks through clenched teeth.

  I’m not sure when the hell Ben became this aggressive, pissed-off-at-the-world asshole, but shit is about to get real.

  “I didn’t say shit to her, Ben. What the hell is wrong with you?” I yell at him, pushing against his chest when he gets in my space.

  This is not Ben.

  Throwing his head back and closing his eyes, he takes a deep breath and his shoulders slump.

  “Ben, you need to tell me what the hell is going on. I’m your brother for Christ’s sake. You’re my best friend in the whole world and I know you’re hiding shit from me.”

  He stomps back over to the couch and plops down on it. Putting his elbows on his knees, he leans forward and scrubs his hands down his face.

  “Look, Eli, there are just some things I need to do without an audience and without your opinion. I never intended to keep the tattoos from you, but we just haven’t seen much of each other lately,” he rushes out. “I got the first one the night mom was released from the hospital. The night I came home drunk and being a dick,” he says while pointing to the intricate art on his chest.

  All of his ink is amazing, and I’m not knocking him for getting it. I’m surprised is all. I don’t want him to think I’m judging him for it. Hell, I wouldn’t mind adding some ink to my own skin.

  “Dude, the tatts are legit. I’m not judging. I’m concerned about what you’ve gotten yourself into. First the massive amount of time you’ve obviously been spending in the gym, then the tats, and now the whole ‘girlfriend who called you a business man’ thing. It’s as if you’re a totally different person, and I’m not getting any explanation from you about it,” I tell him. I try to keep my voice from sounding pissed, but the more I talk about the fact that he has basically left me out of the past few months of his life, the madder I get. He can hear my anger and holds his hands up to stop me from continuing.

  “Look, the only thing about me that has changed is that I’ve decided I’m going to start living my life the way I want and not the way I think everyone else wants me to live it. I’m going to change my major next semester to do something I want to do, not something Dad thought would be cool for me to do. I’m going to do what I want and if Dad doesn’t like it, he can suck it.” The more Ben talks about Dad, the angrier he gets and the redder his face becomes.

  “Ben, I 100 percent support this part of your endeavor,” I tell him with a huge shit-eating grin on my face. “It’s about freakin’ time!”

  He chuckles before continuing. “Eli, there are just some things I need to do without everyone else in my life knowing about it. When I’m ready, I promise I’ll fill you in on what is going on with Ramzi, but until then, I need you to trust me and not ask questions about the business thing.”

  I take in the seriousness of his tone and really look at his face. “I’ll make you a deal,” I start, watching his eyes narrow in frustration. “If you can promise me that whatever scheme you have going on is not going to hurt Ramzi, I’ll leave it alone. She’s Sara’s best friend, and I don’t want to get caught in the middle of whatever it is you’re doing.”

  I see his face relax somewhat before he responds. “I will never intentionally hurt her, Eli. She may not be happy with me when I eventually explain it to her, but I have to follow through on what I started. It’s the reason I told her that our arrangement was casual and nothing serious. I don’t want to hurt her because I do like her, but right now, she’s a distraction I don’t need.” I’m now even more concerned with what the hell he’s doing and I can tell he sees it in my face.

  “Don’t ask me any more questions, Eli. I promise you, you don’t want to know right now,” he groans, having grown tired of this conversation.

  “Fine. I�
�ll leave it alone, for now. I’m concerned though. I know whatever you’re up to is sketchy, and I just don’t want you to get yourself in trouble.”

  “End of discussion,” he grumbles before turning and storming into his room, slamming his door behind him.

  I guess that’s the end of that discussion.

  THURSDAY MORNING BRINGS my last final and the only one I’ve been seriously dreading. Trigonometry. I spent most of the week going over the chapters I had the most trouble with, and since the final is cumulative, I also reviewed a little bit on the other stuff as a refresher.

  This class has by far been my hardest to date, and I’m pretty sure once I change my major later this week, I won’t even be required to take it for my new one. I still don’t want to fail it obviously, because it will affect my GPA regardless.

  I made the decision last night while lying in bed unable to sleep, that I’m taking the plunge today. After my final, I’m going to go see my advisor and get my major changed over to Psychology, with a minor in education. The more I think about being a school counselor, the more the idea appeals to me, and after making a mental list of pros and cons, I know it’s what I want to do.

  I make my way out of the apartment and down to my truck but stop when I notice a tiny little body leaned up against it. She’s in her scrubs, so I know she’s on her way to work.

  “Good morning, beautiful,” I say when I get to her. She smiles, reaching up to wrap her arms around my neck. I bend down, pulling her up with me, kissing her as if my life depends on it.

  I really shouldn’t be getting more attached to her, but I just can’t help myself. She makes me happy.

  “Good morning yourself, handsome,” she whispers against my lips when I pull back.

  “What are you doing here?” I ask her casually. “Don’t you have to be at work in fifteen minutes?”

  “They just called me off, so I don’t have to work today. That never happens to me, so I figured I’d come give you a good morning and good luck kiss before I head back home,” she explains.

  “Well, thanks for that,” I mumble before pressing my lips to hers again, deepening the kiss immediately. I feel her lips turn up into a smile before she leans back.

  “Don’t start something you can’t finish right now, Mr. Harper,” she grumbles against my lips, making me smile in return. “I’ve missed you this week.”

  “Well, you’re in luck. Today is my last final. How about I take a rain check until later? Want to have lunch with me in a few hours?” I ask her, setting her back on her feet.

  “I’d love to! I can just meet you there since it’d be out of your way to come get me from campus. Where do you want to go?” she asks with a huge smile. I swear this girl works her way into my heart more and more every day, and I just don’t know if that’s a good thing or not. I feel as though I’m constantly reminding myself that people don’t find their forever at the age of twenty.

  “What are you hungry for?” I ask her, grabbing her hand and walking her back toward her car, which is parked a few spots away from my truck.

  “Actually, I could totally go for a greasy piece of Hawaiian pizza,” she moans out as if she’s imagining eating it right now, which makes me laugh. The girl loves her food and I love that about her.

  “Sounds good to me. Why don’t we meet at Luigi’s? They have the best pizza in town anyway,” I reply.

  “All right. I’ll see you in a few hours. Go kick ass on your Trig final,” she blurts out before wrapping her arms around my torso and hugging me tightly. I lean down and kiss the top of her head before she pulls away and gets into her car.

  “Thanks, baby,” I tell her before shutting her door and watching her drive away.

  Jumping in my truck, I drive to campus to get the show on the road. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be for this final and want to get it over with.

  I pull into the parking lot and immediately spot Ben’s truck and notice an empty spot beside it. I park beside him and make my way to class, chatting with a few friends along the way. Sara’s visit this morning definitely made my outlook on this day better.

  CLIMBING BACK INTO my truck, I lay my head back on the seat and take a deep breath. I’m so thankful that damn test is over. It was harder than I’d hoped, but I think I did okay on it. At this point, I’ll just be happy to pass that damn class. The meeting with my advisor went great and he was supportive of my decision to make the change. Because I’m leaving his department, I’ll be reassigned to a new advisor before the beginning of next semester, one in the Psychology department. I turn my phone back on and it lights up with an e-mail from my mom, which makes me smile big. I haven’t heard from her in over a week.

  To: Elijah Harper

  From: Mama

  Re: Life in Italy

  Hi, sweetie! I know you’ve probably been a studying fool for the past week, which is why I’ve left you alone. ;) I hope that finals are going well so far. I just wanted to pop in and say hi and let you know I’m doing great. The lady that I’m staying with right now is amazing, and I feel like I am learning so much from her. I found a vineyard not far from here that I’ve fallen in love with. Not only is their wine to die for but the owners are so fun and they’ve welcomed me with open arms. I probably spend more time there than I should. Lol.

  Anyhow, I just wanted to check in with you, let you know that I’m doing great and miss you boys like crazy. Shoot me an e-mail when you’re done with finals and let me know how things went and how you’re doing.

  Still seeing Sara? :-)

  I love you, baby boy.

  Mom

  As much as she tries to pretend that she is just fine and loving life, I know that whatever happened between her and Cord is still bothering her. I wish she’d tell me, but I don’t want to be that overbearing, nosy son. She’ll tell me if and when she’s ready I guess.

  I shoot her a quick response, noticing that I need to get to Luigi’s soon or I’ll be late.

  To: Mama

  From: Eli

  Re: College life

  Hey, Mama! I just wanted to shoot you a quick response so you know I’m still alive and kicking. :-) I just finished with my last final, Trig, and that is the only one I was super concerned about. I think I did okay, but truthfully, I’m so glad this semester is over. I’ll be so much less stressed now that it’s done. I’m still seeing Sara, and am actually going to be late for our lunch date so I need to go. Just wanted you to know that I survived finals week and I miss you. I’ll call you this weekend.

  Love you,

  E

  I hit send, throw my phone in the cup holder beside me, and head toward Luigi’s. I see her car as soon as I pull in the parking lot and smile.

  Heading into the restaurant, my stomach lets out a loud growl at the amazing smells of this place. Best pizza ever.

  She smiles big when she sees me and I bend and kiss her cheek when I get to her.

  “How was your Trig final, big guy?” she asks with a smirk.

  “It’s over and that’s the important part,” I reply with a laugh. “Now, I just want to eat this amazing pizza and spend the day relaxing with you.”

  She nods and returns her attention to the menu in front of her.

  “So I received a phone call from an old friend this morning,” she begins, not looking up from the menu. She’s using it as a distraction. “It seems that he lives in Phoenix, is also going to be attending PA school, and is looking for a roommate.”

  My hands clench around my menu, but I’m trying to keep from freaking out. I mean, we haven’t discussed anything about how things will play out once she leaves. Last time we discussed it, which was weeks ago, we basically called this a casual, exclusive relationship. Jesus. It sounds exactly like what Ben said he has with Ramzi, except I’m not lying to her, or whatever the hell Ben is doing.

  “So, you have an old friend, who happens to be male, going to the same school as you and wants to live with you? Am I getting that correct?” I ask, glaring dagg
ers into the top of her head because she still hasn’t looked up at me.

  “Sort of,” she mumbles. She slowly raises her head and looks me directly in the face, before smirking and continuing. “Are you jealous, Eli?”

  I mash my teeth together and narrow my eyes at her. “Hell yes I’m jealous,” I grind out. “I know we haven’t discussed what comes next for us, but I know that hearing you might be moving in with another guy makes me feel sort of homicidal.”

  She drops her gaze back down to the table and smiles. “Jose is gay, Eli. No worries.”

  I take a deep breath and unclench my hands. “You could’ve started the conversation with that information, Sara. Way to give me a heart attack.”

  She chuckles before replying, “Well, I kind of wanted to see how you’d react first. I knew if you acted like it didn’t bother you, that whatever this is”—she swings her finger back and forth between the two of us—“isn’t as important to you as it has become to me.” Her words make me really look at her.

  I reach across the table and grab her hands, running my thumbs over her knuckles. “The more time I spend with you, the more important whatever this is becomes. The idea of you leaving makes my stomach hurt.”

  She grips my hands in hers and nods, just as the waitress arrives to take our order.

  We eat mostly in silence. It’s kind of weird now that it’s been put out there that we’re both starting to feel more for each other than we’d planned to let happen. I mean, we’ve known for weeks that she’s leaving soon. We’ve not discussed at all the possibility of trying a long-distance relationship. She has two years of PA school to get through and I have three semesters left. That puts me at a year and a half of school left. Plus, does she want to live here or would she eventually expect me to move there? Do I really want to leave Colorado eventually? I love it here.

  When the bill comes, I pay it and we head out to the parking lot, hand in hand.