The Refuge

by Ann H. Gabhart

  “Better than sleeping here.”

  “I reckon so.” Silas laughed. “We’re gonna fix that. It might take a while, but we can hang on through the summer. So long as we make sure to dip out of the same pot as Irene when we’re eating her fine stew.”

  Flynn watched him drive the wagon away down the road. The man was in surprisingly good spirits for somebody who knew his wife was trying to poison him.

  24

  By her seventh day at the Shaker village, Leatrice wanted to refuse to wear the cap with its itchy strings tied under her chin and kick off the stiff Shaker shoes and walk home. The shoes didn’t have even one scuff, but they weren’t all worn to her feet the way her old shoes were. She asked Sister Tansy if she couldn’t have her old shoes back, but the sister said they threw them away. The splits along the soles did let in some dirt, but that was no reason to throw them away.

  Sister Tansy said she should be grateful for new shoes. So she said “thank you,” all polite the way Mamaw Bea taught her, but she hadn’t meant it. She should have crossed her fingers the way Sister Mona did when she was confessing the things she’d done wrong.

  This morning she looked at the Shaker shoes and couldn’t keep from crying. The blisters on her heels were going to hurt when she put them on.

  “Don’t be such a baby.” Sister Mona pointed at her and laughed when Sister Tansy wasn’t looking.

  Leatrice didn’t think about whether Sister Tansy was watching or not. She picked up one of the shoes and threw it straight at Sister Mona. Everybody in the room got real quiet and stared at her. Nobody was smiling except Sister Mona, who twisted her mouth sideways to hide her grin while she pretended she was hurt. She wasn’t hurt. Leatrice hadn’t aimed to hit her. Well, not in the face. The shoe bouncing off her leg couldn’t have hurt much.

  She was going to be in trouble. Sister Tansy had a fierce frown as she rushed across the room toward Leatrice. More tears spilled out on her cheeks. She’d promised Papa she’d be good. But he’d promised to come see her. She hoped Sister Tansy would tell her she couldn’t stay in the village. Then she wouldn’t have to run away. But what if she went home and Papa didn’t want her? Maybe he had brought her here to get rid of her the way Sister Mona said.

  Sister Janice hurried over to stand between Leatrice and Sister Tansy. “I’m sure she didn’t aim to do that. The shoe must have slipped out of her hand.”

  “She threw it at me.” Sister Mona made a face and rubbed her leg. “It hurts.”

  Leatrice sank down on her bed and stared at her knees.

  “Did you aim to throw your shoe at your sister, Sister Leatrice?” Sister Tansy sounded almost as cross as Sister Corinne.

  “She called me a baby.” Leatrice wasn’t going to compound her sin by lying. She peeked up at Sister Tansy. The woman had her fists propped on her hips as she stared at Leatrice.

  “So you proved it by acting like one,” Sister Tansy said.

  “Yea. I am sorry, Sister Tansy.”

  “Sorry you got caught,” Sister Mona said.

  “That is enough, Sister Mona.” Sister Tansy turned to look at Sister Mona. When she looked back at Leatrice, her eyes were not quite so stern. “I am not the one you need to apologize to, Sister Leatrice.”

  Leatrice took a deep breath. She had to do what Sister Tansy said, even if what she really wanted to do was throw the other shoe at Sister Mona. This time she might aim for her face to make her stop smirking behind Sister Tansy’s back.

  With a quick swipe at her tears, Leatrice stood up. “I am sorry, Sister Mona. I should not have thrown my shoe at you. Will you forgive me?” Leatrice added that last in her sweetest voice because she didn’t think Sister Mona would want to forgive her any more than Leatrice was actually sorry. They both should have their fingers crossed behind their backs.

  Everybody stopped looking at Leatrice to look at Sister Mona. She hesitated. Sister Tansy tapped her foot on the floor. After a minute, Sister Mona slid her hands around behind her back. “Yea, I forgive you for acting like a baby.”

  “Tsk.” Sister Tansy continued to tap her foot on the floor. “I am not pleased with either of you right now. I think you need more time together in order to form the proper sister bond of unity.”

  That didn’t sound good to Leatrice. She did her best to avoid being close to Sister Mona.

  “I’m not sure that would be a good idea,” Sister Janice spoke up quickly.

  Sister Tansy raised her eyebrows with a look that said silence was all that was expected. “I will determine which ideas are best, Sister Janice. For today, Sisters Mona and Leatrice will sit together at meals and while doing their lessons and will share their duties.” She pointed her finger at Leatrice, then Sister Mona. “I do not want to hear of any conflict between the two of you.”

  When Sister Janice started to speak up again, Sister Tansy stopped her with a frown. “Not a peep. None.” She waved her hand at all the girls in the room. “I expect proper behavior from you all. We cannot let conflict or misbehavior find dirty little corners to hide away in our hearts. We must sweep away every wrong thought and deed.”

  “Yea, Sister Tansy,” Leatrice echoed the words with the other girls.

  “Which duties will we share?” Sister Mona asked. “Mine or hers?”

  “You will take Sister Janice’s place today helping Sister Leatrice with Sister Darcie and the babies. That is at every meal, but other than those times, Sister Leatrice will assist with whatever duties you have. If I remember correctly, and I think I do, you are to empty our washbowl water and bring fresh water for our pitchers. Then you are to sweep the schoolroom.” She pointed a finger at Sister Mona. “And I do expect a proper job. Sister Josephine found a cobweb in a corner yesterday.”

  “It was not there when I swept.” Sister Mona lifted up her chin.

  Sister Tansy held her hand palm out toward Sister Mona. “Nay, Sister, do not compound a shoddy job with excuses. Spiderwebs are not built in minutes. You know our Mother Ann says good spirits will not stay where there is dirt for we can be sure we will find no dirt in heaven.”

  “Now get dressed. All of you.” Sister Tansy clapped her hands together twice. “Sister Mona, fetch Sister Leatrice another pair of stockings. Doubling them on her feet will cushion the blisters.”

  “Can she not fetch her own stockings?” Sister Mona whined.

  “Of course she could.” Sister Tansy smiled. “But you as her loving sister are going to do it for her.”

  Leatrice’s heart sank as Sister Mona turned back to the chest to get the stockings. More tears pushed at her eyes at the thought of being tormented by Sister Mona all day long.

  Sister Janice gave her a little hug and whispered close to her ear. “She will behave. Sister Tansy will be watching her.”

  Leatrice simply nodded. She had no choice. What Sister Tansy said had to be done. She blinked away her tears. She wouldn’t let Sister Mona make her cry. She’d be strong like her mother. Like her father. That made her feel like crying again. Why hadn’t he come to see her?

  Maybe he hadn’t come because he was sick like Grandpa, but it couldn’t be that Papa wanted to be rid of her. She didn’t care what Sister Mona said.

  Mamaw Bea used to say a day wasn’t forever when they had to do something like clean out the chicken house. This day wouldn’t be all bad. She would still get to help Sister Darcie. Walking her babies through the village was the best part of the day. She hadn’t figured out why Sister Darcie had two babies. They couldn’t be twins, since Anna Grace was lots bigger than Baby Benjamin.

  The extra stockings did help cushion her blisters, but that didn’t keep her from wanting to take off those stockings and shoes and head home barefoot.

  When Sister Mona poured the water from the washing basin into a piggin, she splashed some out on Leatrice’s feet on purpose. “Now, look what you made me do.” She pitched a towel to Leatrice. “Clean it up.”

  Leatrice mopped up the spill without a word. Then she g
athered up the other towels. “I’ll take these to the washhouse.”

  “Not by yourself. A baby like you might get lost.”

  “Then you better come with me.” Leatrice headed out of the room for the stairs. “Since we’re sisters.”

  “You’re not my sister. I don’t have any sisters.”

  “We’re sisters today. Sister Tansy said so.” Leatrice didn’t look back. She didn’t care if Sister Mona came with her or not. Leatrice knew where the washhouse was. And she knew how to get to the house where Sister Darcie lived. She wouldn’t get lost, but right now she wanted to get lost from Sister Mona.

  But Sister Mona clumped down the steps behind her, carrying the dirty wash water. Leatrice was happy to get out the door before she spilled it again.

  Sister Mona dumped the water in the grass. “Go on and take those towels to the washhouse. Then wait here. I’ve got to fill the piggin to take back upstairs.”

  Leatrice looked around. “Where’s the well?”

  “Don’t you know anything?” Sister Mona made a face. “No wells. Water comes in pipes right to the kitchen.”

  “You’re making that up.” Leatrice couldn’t imagine not having to draw water out of a well or dip it out of a spring or creek.

  “Maybe I am. Maybe I’m not. Either way, you wait here till I get back.”

  “Maybe I will. Maybe I won’t.” Leatrice got a better grip on the towels and headed for the washhouse. She could look in there and see if Sister Mona was lying. And what did she care anyway what the girl said? She was trying to be mean. She was mean. She probably wouldn’t even be there when Leatrice got back, and then she would tell Sister Tansy Leatrice hadn’t waited where she was supposed to.

  But Sister Mona was sitting on the steps when Leatrice came back from the washhouse. “What took you so long?”

  Leatrice didn’t answer her. “We need to go get Sister Darcie.”

  “You’re not supposed to tell me what to do. I’m the oldest.”

  “All right.” Leatrice glared at Sister Mona. “Then tell me that we need to go get Sister Darcie.”

  “I don’t guess I need to now.” Sister Mona stood up and walked in the wrong direction.

  “You know that’s not the right way.” Leatrice stayed where she was.

  “Do I?” Sister Mona smiled over her shoulder at Leatrice. “Are you sure you know how to go?”

  “I know the way.” Leatrice started down the path toward the Gathering Family House. Whatever Sister Tansy did to her for not doing what she said wouldn’t be as bad as putting up with Sister Mona.

  She was halfway to the other house when Sister Mona ran up behind her and grabbed her shoulder. “Wait for me, little sister. You know sisters have to help one another and be perfect little angels just like in heaven.”

  Leatrice ignored her and kept walking.

  “I don’t think she likes me, Mother Ann.” Sister Mona acted as though she were talking to someone else. “You say sisters are supposed to love one another, don’t you? She probably doesn’t even know who you are, Mother Ann.”

  Leatrice wasn’t sure who Mother Ann was, even though people here were always talking about her. One day at school, some of the girls had played a game they said was Mother Ann in jail. Leatrice wondered why they would pretend their mother was in jail, but she hadn’t asked. Everything was just too strange. She certainly wasn’t going to ask Sister Mona. Anything.

  When they got to the Gathering Family House, Sister Darcie was coming down the steps with her basket. She smiled when she saw Leatrice. She even smiled at Sister Mona. That was because she didn’t know how mean she was.

  “Hello, Sister Leatrice. I see you have a new companion today. I hope Sister Janice isn’t ill.”

  “Nay, she is fine,” Leatrice said.

  Before she could say more, Sister Mona stepped in front of her. “I’m Sister Mona and Sister Tansy is making Sister Leatrice and me be together all day because Sister Leatrice threw her shoe at me this morning.” She rubbed her leg. “I think I have a bruise.”

  “Oh my.” Sister Darcie’s smile didn’t go away. “I’m sorry about your bruise, but sometimes one just must throw a shoe.”

  “I don’t think Sister Tansy thinks that is true.” Sister Mona frowned a bit.

  “Well, it could be that Sister Tansy has never felt like throwing a shoe.” Sister Darcie got a considering look on her face. “I’m sure Sister Leatrice was properly sorry.”

  “I am properly sorry.” Leatrice looked down at her feet. She really liked Sister Darcie. She was so pretty and never cross like Sister Corinne. Leatrice wanted her to understand why she had thrown her shoe. “I shouldn’t have gotten mad just because Sister Mona called me a baby.”

  “That’s because you are a baby,” Sister Mona said. “I don’t like babies.”

  “Come, come, Sister Mona. No need being mean.” Sister Darcie’s smile turned to a frown.

  That made Leatrice feel better. Sister Darcie knew Sister Mona was mean.

  Sister Darcie fastened the basket with Baby Benjamin onto the little wagon. He let out a wail and Leatrice leaned down to baby talk to him. The other baby, Anna Grace, made a cooing noise.

  “I think she’s talking to you, Sister Leatrice. Do you want to push the cart today? I’m not sure he would like to be pushed by Sister Mona if she doesn’t like babies.” Sister Darcie looked over at Sister Mona. “Why don’t you like babies, Sister Mona? Babies are very sweet.”

  “My mother had a baby. It killed her.” Sister Mona spun in a little circle, as though what she was saying didn’t bother her at all.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. It’s very hard to lose a mother. My mother died too when I was a little girl.”

  “Because she had a baby?” Sister Mona asked.

  “Nay. She had cholera.”

  “Oh.” Sister Mona spun around again and made her apron fly out away from her dress.

  “And Sister Leatrice knows how sad it is to lose a mother too, don’t you, Sister Leatrice?”

  Leatrice nodded.

  “What happened to her?” Sister Mona stopped spinning. She sounded curious.

  “She fell off a horse.” Leatrice stared at the cart as she pushed it down the walkway. “Do all mothers die of something?”

  “Nay.” Sister Darcie’s voice was soft. “Not all mothers die. I’m a mother and I’m quite well.”

  “But something might happen to you,” Sister Mona said. “You might die.”

  “That’s true, Sister Mona. We all die sooner or later, but I hope for it to be later so that I will have more time with my babies.”

  “They won’t let you keep them,” Sister Mona said.

  Leatrice frowned at Sister Mona. “What do you mean? She has to keep her babies.”

  “Not here. Babies and children in the place where we are. Mothers in other places if they aren’t dead. Isn’t that the way it is, Sister Darcie?”

  “So they tell me.” Sister Darcie looked sad.

  “Anna Grace and Benjamin will cry if they aren’t with you,” Leatrice said.

  “They don’t care if babies cry,” Sister Mona said. “Not even if babies like you cry because your father brought you here to get rid of you.”

  “He didn’t get rid of me. He’s going to come see me and take me home again after I go to school for a while.”

  “Did he really tell you he’d come to see you?” Sister Mona grinned like she didn’t believe it could be true.

  It was a good thing Leatrice was wearing her shoes, or she might have thrown another one at Sister Mona.

  “That’s enough, Sister Mona.” Sister Darcie sounded as stern as Sister Corinne. “If Leatrice’s father said he would come see her, then he will.”

  “Fathers never do what they say,” Sister Mona muttered.

  “Some fathers do,” Sister Darcie said.

  “Did yours?” Sister Mona peered up at Sister Darcie.

  “It’s been a long time since I’ve seen him,” Sister Darcie sai
d.

  “So he didn’t.”

  “Whatever he did doesn’t matter. Sister Leatrice’s father will come.”

  Sister Darcie sounded so sure, Leatrice wanted to hug her. Then she wanted to ask her when he was coming, but she couldn’t know that.

  All at once, she heard her name. “Leatrice.” And as if Sister Darcie had summoned him with her sure words, there was Papa sliding off his horse and coming toward her. Papa. Really there to see her just the way he had promised.

  “Papa!” Leatrice turned loose of the cart handle and ran to him.

  25

  Flynn couldn’t believe his good fortune when he spotted Leatrice beside the road. He had worried the Shaker sister, who wanted him to stay away, wouldn’t agree to fetch Leatrice. Not that he would have taken no for an answer. Even if he had to push his way past that old sister.

  He’d gotten up while the stars were still shining so he could be at the village before Leatrice would be in school. Now here she was right beside the road with another girl and the woman named Darcie he’d met when he was working with the horse, Sawyer. Odd how their paths kept crossing. She had obviously had her baby. The tired look was gone and a smile lit up her face as Leatrice ran from her side toward Flynn.

  That was all he had time to notice before Leatrice jumped into his arms. “Oh, Papa. I knew you would come. I knew you would.”

  He picked her up, even though she was far from a baby, but he needed to hold her. She looked different in her Shaker dress. Older somehow. Less his. But then he supposed all children got less their parents’ and more their own person as they got older. That was as it should be, but he didn’t want it to happen in a week.

  “I told you I would come.”

  “But it’s been so long.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him tight.

  “Only a week. They asked me not to come for a week. One of the sisters said that would give you time to settle in.” He set her back on her feet beside him. She looked fine. He’d known she would, but at the same time he’d worried she wouldn’t.