Kept By The Mountain Man (Montana Mountain Men Book 3)

by Gemma Weir

  “You called my sister.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement, my voice flat and lifeless.

  “I did.” He’s not at all repentant.

  “Why?”

  “I wanted to talk to her.”

  “Why?”

  “I wanted to know why she left.”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  “Everything about you is my business, you’re my wife,” he roars, making me flinch with the intensity of his words.

  “I told you who I am, I told you what I do to the people around me. Why would you call her? My life isn’t her problem. I don’t do that anymore; I don’t force my problems onto other people. Why would you do that?” My voice breaks a little at the end, making the lack of emotion seem even more apparent. I’m broken, two minutes on the phone to my sister and everything here feels fake, like a façade I’ve created for myself. Suddenly this room is too small, his presence is too big and I feel like I’m suffocating.

  My pants are on the floor and I grab for them, shoving my feet into the fabric, frantically pulling them up my legs, my fingers fumbling with the zipper and button.

  “What the fuck are you doing?” Granger snarls.

  “I need some air, some space.”

  “No.” He shakes his head, his arms cross across his chest, his jaw tense and firm. “You’re not going anywhere.”

  “Get out of the way, I’m not a fucking prisoner and I need some air.”

  “No. Only way you’re leaving this room is with me, holding my hand, you want to go somewhere that’s fine, I’ll go with you. Now take my hand.”

  Shoving my feet into my boots, I ignore him, striding to the doorway and attempting to barge past him, but his hands come up and stop me, restraining me and preventing me from leaving. “It’s not happening, honey; I’m not letting you walk out on me. You give me your problems and I’ll solve them, you don’t deal with them alone anymore. So tell me what she said.”

  “She didn’t say anything, and right now my problem is you. How do you plan on dealing with that?” I question, lifting my eyes to his for the first time since he stormed his way into the room.

  “This isn’t about me, your eyes are dead, like they were when you got to town. I want to know what the fuck she said to make you look like that and I want to know right fucking now.” His voice is just below a yell, somehow intimidating and infuriating both at the same time.

  “She said you’d called her asking why she’d left. I apologized for you contacting her, told her I’d make sure it wouldn’t happen again. That’s it.” I sound dead, lifeless, but I can’t help it, I feel empty.

  “You don’t fucking apologize to her,” he shouts.

  “You called her, a complete stranger, and started demanding answers to questions that you have no right to ask. Of course I apologized. I also deleted her contact from your cell and erased all the call logs too. You had no right to intrude on her life.”

  Attempting to pass him again, his hold on me tightens. “Take my hand and we’ll go wherever you want.”

  “I just want some air on my own.”

  “You don’t get to be alone anymore, we’re married, we’re fucked up and co-dependent. Where ever we go, we go together.”

  “So that’s it, you just get to decide that I never get to go anywhere on my own ever again,” I snap, trying to pull myself free from his grip.

  “Yeah, you gave me that gift, you gave yourself to me and I’m not giving you back. Now take my hand and tell me where you want to go.”

  “Forget it,” I say robotically, twisting and trying to move back to the bed. “Are prisoners allowed to sleep.”

  “You’re not a fucking prisoner,” he yells, hauling me off the floor and throwing me over his shoulder. The stairs are a blur as I bounce from my prone position, my head hanging above his butt as he kicks open the front door and unceremoniously drops me to the floor beside his car, my one hand still held tightly by his. “You wanted air, I’ll give you fucking air.”

  Sullenly, I refuse to look at him, even though I can feel his eyes on me. The urge to close in on myself, get in my RV and run hits me like a wrecking ball. For the first time since I accepting this thing between Granger and I, the life I had before him suddenly feels wistful instead of lonely. If I’d never met this man, my husband, I’d have just carried on as before, but I did meet him and I was happy, so why did he do this? Why did he dredge up the past and force all these emotions that I was doing so well at ignoring to the surface?

  If he wanted to get rid of me, why would he have married me? Why to go to these lengths to make this permanent?

  Confused and hurt and sad, I close my eyes, tip my head back and let the cold air surround me. “Stop watching me, go work.”

  “No.”

  “I’m not a child, I don’t need to be supervised.”

  “Two hours ago, you couldn’t stand the thought of putting a door between us and now you want me to go away.”

  “Yes,” I exhale, hating how broken I sound. The melancholy that’s settled around me feels like a weight I’m just too tired to carry. How can a two minute conversation with my sister do this? Probably the same way a two-week relationship with Granger made me forget who I am.

  Only I remember again now. I remember the look on her face when she told me she needed to live her own life, that she was leaving me. With my eyes closed, I see the faces of everyone who I’ve infected, the varying looks of disgust, pity, revulsion. The whispered jabs, the blatant curses, all of them the same, all saying how pathetic, how weird, how needy I was. My life plays on a loop behind my eyes and I remember it all. Why I need to be alone, why I move so often, why I never allow myself to make any ties.

  “Alice.” Warm hands cup my face, but I don’t open my eyes. I already know what he’s going to say, but I can’t face it, so I pull away from his touch, needing distance, a chance to re-build the walls he’s shattered around my heart. “I shouldn’t have called her.” His words suggest he’s apologizing, but his tone says he doesn’t give a fuck, that he’s just saying what he needs to placate me.

  “I just need some space,” I whisper, forcing my eyes to open.

  “No. You’ll run, I can see it in your eyes and I won’t let you go, I’ll chase you down and bring you back, so why bother. You’re mine now, you’re not going anywhere.” He means every word, it’s there in the intensity in his eyes, the stern line of his mouth, he won’t let me go and I’m partially relieved, partially terrified of the truth.

  “I won’t run. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.”

  Granger’s cell starts to ring again and he tightens his hold on my hand as if he’s worried I’ll disappear in the time it will take him to glance at his phone. His brow furrows. “I should take this, I don’t recognize the number, but it could be a customer.”

  I nod, trying to free my hand from his grip but he just squeezes me tighter.

  “Hello.”

  A line appears between his brows as he listens to whoever is on the other end of the line. “She’s here, she’s fine. I’ll ask.” Lowering the cell from his ear, his eyes lock with mine. “Your sister would like to talk to you.”

  “Why?” I ask, panicked and confused.

  “I don’t know, honey. Do you want to talk to her?”

  “I don’t… I don’t know.”

  “I think you should talk to her. Let’s go back inside where it’s warm, you don’t even have a jacket on.”

  I nod, because it’s easier to just let him take over rather than it would be to make decisions for myself.

  He lifts the cell back to his ear and speaks. “Sorry, just give us a minute, we’re just gonna go somewhere a bit warmer.” Tugging on my hand, he leads me inside and back up to the bedroom I was happily sleeping in. Climbing onto the bed, he pulls me to sit between his legs, curling his arm around my waist and pulling me back to rest against his chest, while he taps at the screen of his cell and sets the call onto speaker.

  “He
llo.”

  “Alice.”

  “Hi Serenity, are you okay? Why have you called back?”

  “Because I’m freaking the fuck out, Alice. This guy that I’ve never heard of calls me out of the blue, telling me he loves you and wants to know why I left home ten years ago. Then when I speak to you, you tell me nothing apart from saying you’ll make sure he doesn’t call again. Of course I’m gonna call back.”

  “I already told you I was sorry he called, I don’t really know what else you want me to say?” Pulling my knees up to my chest, I curl myself into a ball as memories of rejection and loss hit me all over again.

  “I want to know where you are, who this guy is.”

  “Why?” The word slips from my lips before I can help it. As angry as I am with Granger right now, his constant reassuring presence behind me is making me feel brave.

  “Why?” she parrots back.

  “Yeah, why? I think it’s been three years since I last heard from you and that was a text wishing me a happy birthday.”

  “You’re my sister.”

  “I don’t even know your boyfriend’s name. I’ve never met him. I don’t know your address.”

  “You know his name,” Serenity sighs, like I’m a child asking the thousandth stupid question of the day.

  “I don’t, but that’s okay, your life is none of my business.”

  “Phillip, Phil, his name is Phil.”

  “Granger is my husband, we got married a week ago.”

  “Married.” The single word is a screech that echoes through the phone and bounces around the room. “You got married and didn’t tell me. Does Mom know?”

  “I haven’t spoken to Mom in years. It took her six months to notice I’d moved out.”

  “I don’t care. You don’t get married and not tell your family. What the hell, Alice? Where are you? Give me details and I’ll get on a plane.”

  “Why would you come here?” I know I sound dense but I’m genuinely baffled by her reaction.

  “Because you’ve obviously gotten yourself into a mess. You’re married to a man none of your family have even met.”

  “Fuck you,” I shout, immediately silencing her.

  “Excuse me.” Her tone is indignant.

  “I said, fuck you. You don’t get to start telling me I’ve gotten myself into a mess when you have chosen to have nothing to do with me since I was thirteen years old. I don’t need your approval, I don’t need anything from you, which is exactly what you wanted, isn’t it? You wanted to live your own life and I’ve respected that. But you need to respect the fact that I’m a grown woman, I’ve been on my own for years. If I want to get married that’s none of your business. If I want to divorce and get married a dozen more times it’s still none of your business. If I have ten kids and move to a commune it’s still none of your business. So yes, sister, I said fuck you.”

  Her silence is the loudest noise in the world.

  “I’m… You’re right, I’m sorry. God, I’m so fucking sorry.”

  “It’s fine. You leaving was right, it was good, it helped me understand who I was and to make sure I didn’t do to other people what I did to you.”

  “What do you think you did to me?” she asks quietly.

  “I was needy and clingy, I made you solve all my problems, I ruined your life, stole your childhood. It’s my thing, I’m not a good person to be around…” I trail off, hating that Granger is listening to this conversation, even though I’ve already said all this stuff to him.

  “Is your guy there?” she asks, her voice barely above a whisper. “Hand him the phone.”

  “He’s listening, you’re on speaker.”

  “What can I do for you?” Granger asks, his grip on me so tight I can barely breathe.

  “Where are you? Like what state?”

  “Montana, small town up in the mountains called Rockhead Point.”

  “Okay I’m gonna get the first flight out. I’ll text you the info as soon as I know when I’m gonna be there.”

  “Okay,” Granger answers while I sit there, gob smacked and stunned to silence.

  “See you soon.”

  The call ends and I stare down at the cell in my hands. My sister who I haven’t seen in years, is coming here.

  “What just happened?”

  “Apparently your sister’s coming to town for a visit.”

  “Why?”

  “I’m not a hundred percent sure, but if I had to guess, I’d say she wasn’t happy about all the bullshit you just gave her about you being needy and clingy and ruining her life.”

  “I don’t understand?”

  “Honey, I love you. But you’ve got shitty, blinded views about yourself. Most of the garbage that comes out of your mouth is utter bull crap, but you’ve convinced yourself that you’re a terrible person and as much as I’d love to, I can’t change that in a couple of weeks.”

  “Granger.”

  “No. Just fucking listen, because I’ve got a feeling once your sister gets here, you’re gonna be hearing the same off her. You are the most amazing person I’ve ever met and that’s not only because I love you. You’re sweet and kind and gorgeous and there’s no way in the fucking universe that you could ever be toxic, or poisonous or any of the bullshit that you’ve been feeding yourself to try and help you get over the way your sister abandoned you.”

  He lifts his hand into the air to stop me from arguing with him.

  “No honey, she might have had her reasons and they might even be good ones, but you were a kid, with an absentee parent and she abandoned you.”

  I shake my head. “It wasn’t fair to expect her to spend her life fixing me.”

  “She wasn’t fixing you, Alice, she was being a parent and I agree it wasn’t fair that your mama didn’t step up to the plate to look after you both the way she should. But that isn’t your fault. Our daddy died when Teddy was really young, so all of us stepped up to be dad when he needed us to be. We don’t resent him and he doesn’t resent us. He’s our baby brother and we’re just glad as hell that he turned out so good as he did, he’s the best of us. I get why your sister left, but she did a shitty job when she did because she let you think it was your fault that she wasn’t happy and that’s bullshit, all that blame lies solely at your mama’s door.”

  “No, I did it. I needed her too much, I do it to anyone who’s around me. I’m doing it to you.”

  His palms cup my cheeks and he turns me to face him. “There is never going to be a time when you need me too much. My life is you, I breath when you breath, smile when you smile, hurt when you hurt. You need me and I need you just as much. If there is such a thing as me without you, I don’t ever want to know what that’s like again.”

  Tears spill from my eyes. How is it that even when I’m angry at him that he knows the perfect thing to say to disarm me completely and fall in love with him all over again. Ours might not be a conventional love, but it is love. Powerful, all consuming love.

  “I’m pissed at you,” I say through my tears.

  “I know you are, honey.”

  “I really love you though.”

  His smile is so wide I swear the winter sun feels brighter. “I know you do. Let’s go home. Let me take care of you, honey.”

  I nod and he sighs, tension I hadn’t realized he’d been holding escaping from his body as he relaxes behind me, turning me completely so I’m draped across his thighs. “I love you.”

  Wrapping my arms around his neck, I bury my face into his shoulder as he clings to me, showing me for the first time just how vulnerable I make him. Since we met, it’s felt like he’s always the one holding me up, but right now he needs me.

  I’m not sure how long we sit there, holding each other, but eventually we pull ourselves apart, close down the workshop and go home. Because it is home, even if we share it with his family, because my home is where ever he is.

  22

  Granger

  Serenity sends me a text later that night with
her flight info.

  Serenity: Our flight lands in Bozeman at 11.00am, we’ll rent a car and drive to Rockhead Point. Any decent hotels in town?

  When I show Alice the text, she squirms uncomfortably. “I don’t know why she’s coming.”

  “Because she wants to see you,” I say with a roll of my eyes. “We can invite them to stay here, we have the space if you want.”

  “No,” she says immediately. “No, I…”

  “Okay honey, I’ll send them a link to the Buffalo Inn, it’s not the ritz, but it’s clean and reasonably priced.”

  Me: The Buffalo Inn is about the best we have to offer; I’ll ring and book you a room. How long do you think you’ll be staying?

  Serenity: We both had leave owing so we don’t have to be back on base for a week.

  I wince when I read her reply, a week is a long time if the girls don’t manage to get things sorted, plus I don’t want her sister to think she can barge in and take over my woman’s life.

  Me: Alice and I can take a few days off work, so I’ll book you a room for three nights, then you can decide if you want to stay for the rest of your leave.

  Serenity: Okay, see you tomorrow, I’ll text you when we get into town.

  Alice is a mixture of nerves, fear and anxiety for the rest of the day and in the end, I drag her to bed and fuck her until she’s so exhausted she passes out on top of me. I know it’d be better to have spent the night talking out the issues she has with her sister, but she’s spent so many years building up her walls to protect herself from hurting people the way she hurt her sister, that I don’t think she’ll be able to truly confront her feelings until she sees her sister in person.

  When we get up the next morning, I expect the house to be empty, everyone having gone to work, but instead our entire family is waiting in the living room.

  “What’s going on? Why aren’t you at work? Is everything okay?”

  “We all wanted to be here for you and Alice,” Teddy says from where he’s sitting at the dining table. “We know it’s gonna be a big thing for you to see your sister again and we wanted you to know we’ve got your back. If things don’t go so well, then fuck her, you’ve got six brothers and two sisters who love you and will always be here for you.”