Loving Her

by Tracy Reed

  “Baby, that’s sweet, but…”

  “I call you beautiful, because that’s what you are.”

  “Thank you, but…”

  “I’m done on that subject. Can we make love now, because…”

  “About that.”

  He sighed. “Don’t tell me you…”

  “I don’t ever want you to think just because I want to make love that you have to.”

  “Where is this coming from?” I leaned back. “The other morning, when I touched your leg, you sort of cringed and brushed me off.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Yes, you did.”

  “When?”

  “The day before yesterday. I woke up, wrapped my arms around you and ran my hand inside your thigh, and you cringed.” He started laughing. “I don’t think it’s funny. Just tell me you…”

  He cupped my face in his hands and kissed me. “I had a leg cramp.”

  “What?”

  “I had a leg cramp and I didn’t want you to know.”

  “You’re not just saying that?”

  “No, Baby. For the record, I am always up…” We laughed. “Let me rephrase that. It excites me that you want to make love, and enjoy it. I didn’t force the issue with Natalie once I realized I wasn’t what she wanted. I did everything I could think of, but she just didn’t want me. So, I shut down.”

  “You could have left.”

  “True, but I didn’t. I was desperate to make my marriage work. I forgave her and was willing to raise Allegra as my own, but it still wasn’t good enough for her. She wanted him and he didn’t want her, and she took it out on me.”

  “How?”

  “She’d offer sex, but only on her terms. I can’t believe I’m telling you this.” I pecked his lips. “When she came back, we slept in separate rooms. When her pregnancy sex drive kicked in, she’d come to my room and insist the lights be off. I was only allowed to touch her just enough to get aroused. Once we finished, she’d go back to her room and I’d hear the shower running. It’s like she didn’t want my scent on her.”

  “Baby. That’s why you thought…”

  “I was a horrible lover.”

  I cupped his face. “I’m sorry for the way she made you feel.” I kissed him. “You are an incredible lover. I’ll never know why she treated you the way she did.” I scooted up closer, pressed my breasts against his chest, kissed his neck and eased my hand down the front of his trunks. “I love how you love me and make love to me.”

  “Are you trying to start something?” He smiled.

  “Me?” I smiled.

  “Yes, you.”

  I kissed his chest and he tasted spicy. “Maybe we should…”

  “My turn.”

  “Okay. What do you want to ask me?”

  “Why do you always blow me off when I call you sexy?”

  “Because I’m not.”

  “Who told you you weren’t sexy?”

  “No one told me. I just surmised it on my own.”

  He brushed the side of my face. “I can’t believe this. None of the men you dated ever told you how sexy you are?”

  I searched my mind for an incident when that adjective would have come up, but I came up blank. In all the years Jonathan and I were together I don’t recall him ever saying I was beautiful, pretty, or sexy. I think he said I was cute...no, that was regarding something I did. “No.”

  “What about Quentin?”

  “No. Chloe and Taylor are the sexy ones. I’m…”

  “Very sexy.”

  “Honey, you don’t have to…”

  “You have no idea how sexy you are, do you? Sexy, isn’t just physical, it’s spiritual, emotional and mental.”

  “So you were attracted to my mind?” I teased.

  “It wasn’t your mind that caught my eye. It was your sexy little walk.” He smiled as he patted my behind.

  “What?”

  “I had been at that party a while watching you. The way you glided across the room was hypnotic. The sway of your hips tied me up in knots. Then you turned around and those lips, and,” his eyes dropped down to my breasts and back up. “Your other assets, woke up a part of me that had been dead for a while.”

  I felt warm all over and didn’t know how to respond. “Uhm...”

  “When I look into those beautiful dark brown eyes, it’s mesmerizing. Talk about fantasies. You’re my fantasy. I never thought I’d be married to a woman that looks like you.”

  “Me?”

  “Yes. You with the full round behind, juicy thighs, dangerous curves, soft skin and breasts that fit perfectly in my hands.”

  “I Uhm…” How do you respond to a statement like that? I wanted to run out to the beach and scream, “my husband thinks I’m sexy”.

  “I have to control myself around you,” he confessed. “And I’m not saying this because you let me do stuff to you,” he teased.

  “Are you sure?” I smiled.

  “And when you smile and drop your head slightly, I’m under your spell.”

  “I never thought…”

  “You always tell people how I make you feel desired and loved, but that’s how you make me feel. My first wife never complimented me and once we were married, she never said she loved me. She didn’t want me to touch her in public or private, and she never touched me. The few times we had sex she made me wear a condom. I was so excited when you said you were on the pill, because it meant I could finally really enjoy sex. It excites me to hear you being so verbal, and enjoying yourself when we make love. I didn’t have that with Natalie. I thought she cheated because I was a horrible lover, but now I know better.”

  “Baby, I didn’t--”

  “Sweetheart, as far as I’m concerned, you’re the sexiest, most beautiful woman on the planet.” He kissed me. “Are we finished talking, because I really would…”

  “Shut up and take me right here.”

  He rolled me onto my back and we made love the rest of the afternoon outside on the patio.

  Chapter Thirty

  Moses

  * * *

  “COLLIER MAN, ALEX HAS BEEN preparing for your visit since we got back from New York two weeks ago.”

  “You’re kidding?”

  “No, and she’s disappointed you aren’t staying with us.”

  “Did you explain why?”

  “Yes, but--”

  “Dude, I learned the hard way to never stay with newlyweds.” We laughed. “How do you like living out here?”

  “It’s different. I’m still not used to the traffic. But I’m making my way.”

  “And married life?”

  “It’s…uhm…it’s…I didn’t know it could be like this.” My smile gave me away.

  “Whatever it is she’s doing, it’s working. I haven’t seen you this happy in a long time.”

  “She adds to my happiness and I like who I am now. I like having a teammate.” I knew Collier and my brother were a little worried about me when I disappeared after Natalie and Allegra died. “What about you?”

  “Me?”

  My friend is pretty good at hiding his feelings, but I knew he was ready to settle down. For years he’d been saying he was fine by himself, but as his best friend, I learned back in college how to read between the lines.

  “When are you going to settle down?”

  “Maybe when I find someone like Alex. Does she have a friend?”

  “Man, you don’t want to go there, trust me.” We laughed.

  We pulled into the driveway, went inside the house, and I tried to sneak up on Alex.

  “You know I hear you?” I walked over and tried to kiss Alex but she pushed me aside. “Hey Collier, welcome to LaCasa.”

  “Hey Alex. LaCasa?”

  “LA House and NYCasa is New York house.”

  “Do I get a kiss?” Alex walked over and kissed me on the cheek, but I grabbed her and kissed her on the lips.

  “Baby, that’s why Collier won’t stay with us.”

>   “That’s right,” Collier seconded.

  “Babe, what time is dinner?”

  “Everyone should be here in a couple of hours. Honey, take Collier upstairs so he can freshen up before the party.”

  “Come on. I’ll give you the tour and show you to the guest room.” I walked past her and tapped her on the behind.

  “Moses, stop it.” She smiled.

  I hopped into the shower, changed and went back downstairs. When I landed on the bottom step, the doorbell rang. I walked over and opened the door.

  “Hello.”

  “Hi, Moses. Where’s Alex?” Dionne asked.

  “She’s in the kitchen.” She kissed me on the cheek and headed to the kitchen.

  “Hey, man.” Quentin and I shook hands. “Bas is right behind us.” I stood with the door open and waited for Bas, who walked up with Kendell.

  “Hey, man—you two came together?”

  “No.” Bas quickly answered.

  “Where’s Alex?” Kendell asked.

  “She’s in the kitchen with Dionne.”

  “What’s up?” Bas asked. I closed the door, and we started towards the family room.

  “Nothing.”

  “Where’s Collier?” he asked.

  “Upstairs.”

  I heard a knock on the door and went back to answer it. It must be Chloe. I opened the door and a strange dude was standing on the porch.

  “May I help you?”

  “I’m looking for Kendell,” he announced.

  “And you are?”

  “Jackson.”

  “Excuse me.” I closed the door, and went to get Kendell. She walked back to the door and escorted him inside.

  “Jackson, this is my cousin Alexandra and her husband Moses.” We shook hands.

  “Nice to meet you.”

  “And you would be…” My wife had to probe for information with her handshake. He looked at Kendell before answering.

  “I’m her…”

  “We’re dating,” Kendell announced.

  “Oh.” Alex looked at me. “They’re dating. How did you meet?”

  “He came into the restaurant for lunch. We started talking and on his next visit, he asked me out,” Kendell answered.

  “I see. So Jackson, what do you do?” Alex asked.

  “I’m a lawyer,” he replied as he wrapped his arm around Kendell’s waist.

  “Moses’ best friend is a lawyer. What kind of law do you practice?”

  “Mostly corporate,” he replied.

  “Would you excuse us. The bar is on the patio. Honey, I think the porch light is acting weird again.” She took my hand and led me out to the front porch. “Is she out of her mind? Why would she bring a date knowing Bas would be here?” She started pacing back and forth.

  “Honey, calm down.”

  “I’ve had it with her.”

  I grabbed her and pulled her to my chest. “Take a deep breath. Don’t let your cousin get to you.” I wrapped my arms around her, rubbed her back, and felt her heartbeat slow down. “Better?”

  “Yes.” I lifted her face and gently kissed her.

  “Hey, hey, break it up. I didn’t leave my son to come over here and watch the two of you making out. Either the party has taken a turn or I missed something?” Chloe teased.

  We pulled apart and Alex and Chloe hugged each other.

  “Hey, girl.”

  “What’s up, Chloe?” I asked.

  “My weight,” she teased.

  “You look great,” I replied.

  “Moses you are full of crap, but thank you. Why are you two out here?”

  “You’ll see,” Alex answered.

  I opened the door and stood to the side as the ladies stepped inside. Chloe looked up and stopped dead in her tracks. “Benny?”

  “CJ?”

  I closed the door, looked at Alex, and she had the same shocked look on her face that I did. Collier walked over and hugged Chloe. My wife has a phrase for situations like this, “Oh crap!” I stood next to Alex watching the exchange between two obvious old friends. I hadn’t seen Collier smile like that in quite a while.

  “I take it you two know each other?” Alex asked.

  “You could say that, ”Chloe smiled.

  “How?” I asked.

  They looked at each other. “We spent our college summers hanging out in North Carolina.” In the short time I’ve known Chloe, I’ve never seen her this quiet. And that smile is almost blinding.

  “Really?” Alex smiled.

  “Yeah, CJ and I are old friends,” Collier confessed.

  “Isn’t that nice, Honey? Why don’t you take Benny and introduce him to everyone while I help CJ with her jacket.”

  “Come on, Benny,” I teased.

  “CJ we’ll talk later,” Collier smiled as he walked away.

  “Definitely.” She replied.

  Chapter Thirty-One

  Chloe

  * * *

  I STILL CAN’T BELIEVE I saw Benny. Who would have thought my best friend’s husband’s best friend is my first love. Oh man, God. You really do have impeccable timing. He is the last person I would have expected to have a connection with Alex.

  I couldn’t believe I was acting like a giddy school girl. The nerve of him, getting better looking with time. Oh man…this could be dangerous. When I dropped him off at his hotel and he invited me for coffee, I was about to say yes. Then I heard a baby cry and my breasts filled up and I made a beeline home. Instead of spending the evening catching up with an old boyfriend, I was hooked up to the other man in my life, Stuart, my breast pump.

  That’s okay, because I needed to keep a clear head. I couldn’t make any more impulsive decisions. My needs had to take a back seat to Parker’s and, if it wasn’t good for him, then it wasn’t good for me. I wondered if Collier was still a good kisser? Stop it, Chloe. Those beautiful brown eyes and that smile got me into a lot of trouble when I was younger.

  The ring tone on the phone indicated an unknown caller. I didn’t recognize the number and hesitated to answer. Against my better judgment, I picked it up.

  “Hello…hello.” Silence. I started to hang up when I heard the voice clear it’s throat.

  “CJ.” I knew that voice. It had been a while since I’d heard it over the phone and only an hour since I had heard it in person. How did he get my…Alex.

  “Hi.” I was glad he couldn’t see me blushing through the phone.

  “It was good seeing you again. I hope you don’t mind, I asked Alex to give me your number.”

  “No, that’s fine.”

  “Thank you for dropping me off.”

  Still the same cool Benny. “You’re welcome.”

  “I uhm…man this is difficult.”

  “What’s on your mind?”

  “I was hoping to spend a little more time with you tonight, but…”

  “I understand. I would prefer catching up without everyone--”

  “Prying.”

  “Exactly.”

  “Who’s Parker? I heard several people ask you about him.”

  “My son.”

  “Oh, you’re married.”

  “Divorced.”

  “Do you want to have dinner tomorrow and catch up?”

  “I don’t know if that’s a good idea.”

  “CJ, can’t two old friends share a meal together?”

  “But we’re not just friends, are we?”

  “Would it make you feel better if I asked Moses and Alex to join us?”

  “No. It’s bad enough she’s probably sitting at home making a list of questions for me.”

  “Good, I love my friend and his wife, but…”

  “Benny, I don’t know if our having dinner is a good thing.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t know, maybe because you’ve seen me naked.”

  “It’s just dinner.”

  “Collier…I just got out of a bad marriage and a relationship I thought was going somewhere, and…”
>
  “Tell you what, I’m in town for the next few days, if you change your mind, call me and I’ll make myself available.”

  “It was good seeing you again.”

  “CJ, I really want to see you again before I leave.”

  “Good night.” I hung up. What was I doing? This was a great guy or at least he used to be and probably still was. It was dinner with a friend. A friend I…oh great, now I’ll be up all night thinking about him.

  * * *

  Dear God, what am I doing? The last time I saw Collier, I was a girl full of romantic fantasies. Now I’m a divorced mother with responsibilities But I haven’t felt like this for anyone since Collier. I’m trusting You that this is the right thing. Amen.

  * * *

  I sent Collier a text, “I must be out of my mind. Parker and I would like you to join us for lunch tomorrow. CJ”. The ball was in his court.

  The knock on the door meant it was too late to back out. I walked up to the door looked out the side, took a deep breath, and opened the door.

  “Hello.” The big smile on my face wasn’t helping right now.

  “Hello, my name is Collier Benjamin, and Parker Jacobs invited me to join him and his mother for lunch.” His smile was bigger than mine. This was bad. If we were in Vegas, we’d be headed to the nearest wedding chapel.

  “Come in.” He walked in and followed me out to the patio. “Have a seat.”

  “This is exactly how I pictured your home.”

  “Really.”

  “You are more laid back than you let on.”

  “Maybe that’s why I haven’t been able to move.”

  “You’re kidding…this place is great.”

  “My ex and I had a huge place with all the amenities. When I came back…”

  “Back?”

  “I was living in Brazil for a few months, but that’s a long story for another time.” I pointed to the sofa and he sat down and I sat in the chair. “When I came back, I didn’t want to stay in the main house so I camped out here. My dad made a few adjustments, and now I can’t imagine Parker and I living anywhere else.”

  “Speaking of my host, where is he? I brought him a little something.” He handed me a gift bag. I looked inside and saw an assortment of small stuffed animals and a t-shirt that said, My Mom is Hot. “I didn’t know what to get, and it’s customary to bring your host a gift.”