Loving Her

by Tracy Reed

“Are you finished?”

  “Come on girl, lighten up. You know I’m telling the truth.” I heard a faint giggle. “Was that a laugh I heard?”

  “Shut up. Am I insane?”

  I think she wanted me to give her a reason not to see Collier, but after listening to her go on and on about him for three years, I knew what she needed to hear. “I think it’s very romantic…no serendipitous, that you two hooked up…oops, bad choice of words…found each other after all these years.”

  Her sigh came through loud and clear. “It is kind of romantic, isn’t it? Oh, my God. I sound like Dionne and Alex,” we laughed.“I can hear Alex now, “If Taylor hadn’t thrown me that party and introduced me to Moses, we wouldn’t have gotten married and…”

  “Please don’t say it.”

  “Chloe and Collier wouldn’t have been reunited.” We laughed harder. “You know I’m telling the truth. I love my cousin, but she is a diehard romantic, and I love that about her.”

  “Me, too. So what’s up with you?”

  “Girl, Jason and I are chaperoning Zac’s school dance tomorrow.”

  “What are you wearing?”

  “Why did you ask?”

  “Because I know you,” she laughed, and I couldn’t help but laugh as well.

  “You joke, but the head of the PTA gave me a copy of the chaperone duties, and attached to mine was a suggested dress code.”

  Chloe laughed harder. “Oh, my God. That’s going to be me when Parker gets that age.”

  “Girl, listen to this. Chaperones will not wear form fitting dresses, mini-skirts, form fitting trousers, skinny jeans, midriff tops…they actually used the word midriff.”

  “This is hilarious.”

  “Then it goes on to say. No high heels, low cut tops or anything that would mistake you for a lady of the evening.”

  “What kind of school are you guys sending Zach to?”

  “And here’s the kicker. Anyone not conforming to the dress code will not be allowed to chaperone for at least a year.”

  “So, I’ll ask again. What are you wearing?”

  “I was going to wear my favorite lady of the evening outfit and try to drum up some business, but…” We laughed.

  “Seriously, Taylor. You have to behave. You don’t want to embarrass Zach.”

  “I’ll be good. I asked a couple of other moms how they felt about the dress code. Turns out, I was the only one to get it.”

  “Girl, whose feathers did you ruffle?”

  “Missy Sharp, President of the PTA. She’s been a little strange towards me since she found out I was with Jason.”

  “There you have it. Seems Miss Missy, is jealous. You better be careful. She might give you detention,” she teased.

  “So, what else is going on?”

  “Seems Kendell has a new man.”

  “What? Does Bas know?”

  “He’s the one who told me.”

  “Please don’t tell me he’s become a stalker,” she teased.

  “No, silly. He went to get lunch and saw her with her new man.”

  “Wow…that didn’t take long.”

  “Nope. But here’s the good part. I know her new man. He tried to hit on me, before he knew I was married.”

  “What…does she know?”

  “Not unless he told her.”

  “Please tell…”

  “Oh, but it gets better.”

  “Better than his asking you out?”

  “Yep. He’s sexually fluid.”

  “SHUT UP! You’re lying.”

  “No.”

  “Does she know?”

  “I don’t know.”

  “Are you sure?”

  “I had him checked out.”

  “Chloe you didn’t? What am I saying? I forgot who I was talking to. What did you find out?”

  “Seems Kendell’s new man has been with a man or a few in the past..”

  I gasped. “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

  “Nope. I’ve got the report and pictures to prove it.”

  “I’m done. Little Miss Up In Everyone’s Business, is sharing her man with another man…or more.”

  “Yep.” We laughed.

  “We shouldn’t be laughing, but it serves her right. For years she’s been talking about our men and now…this is…man…we really should tell her.”

  “We’ve all tried talking to her, but she won’t listen. She said we can talk to her about anything except her personal life. So, I’m done.”

  “But she needs to know.”

  “I’m not telling her. I could be mean and send her a copy of the file.”

  “That is mean.”

  “Or better yet, I could send it to him. What do you think?”

  “I think it’s sad. She had a good man, who loved her and only her, and she tossed him to the side. How’s Bas doing?”

  “Girl, it breaks my heart to see him like this. I think this is his first broken heart.”

  “Damn Kendell.”

  Chapter Thirty-Three

  Alex

  * * *

  I LOOKED AROUND THE PACKED room of college students and was surprised. Then it hit me, my husband is a world famous writer.

  An older gentleman stepped to the podium, adjusted the microphone and cleared his throat. “Good evening. We are thrilled and delighted to have New York Times, USA Today, Wall Street Journal and Tony nominated writer, Darryl Moses here tonight. Please join me in welcoming him.”

  The crowd clapped as Moses stepped up to the microphone.

  “Thank you.” He cleared his throat and continued.“I know I’m supposed to read from my last book. However, I have been working on a new book and I want to get some feedback, if you don’t mind.” More applause. “My new book is about love through the eyes of men. It’s a slight departure from my normal style, but my wife,” a collective sigh sang across the room. “Has been encouraging me to try something a little different. Here goes.”

  * * *

  She’s beautiful, God. I can’t take my eyes off her. I’ve seen several men approach her and get turned away. Do I dare enter into her space? Her smile is mesmerizing and her laugh is like a sweet melody. What is this strange feeling? It’s like the hole in my heart was instantly filled the moment I heard her voice. When she smiles my heart skips a beat. When I look into her eyes, I see our great great grandchildren.

  * * *

  Nothing makes sense. In a matter of minutes, my life changed and it’s because of her. Is this how real love feels? I didn’t know love could be so intoxicating…so powerful. I didn’t know love would be so overwhelming. I wonder if she feels the same. Does she sense how I feel? Can she read the look on my face? Does she know I’m a nervous wreck? Does she know I would walk over hot coals just to be in her presence? Does she know how beautiful she is? Does she know the sound of her voice calms my soul? Does she know time stopped the minute I laid eyes on her? Does she know together there’s so much we can accomplish? Does she know the power she has over me? Does she know I want to spend the rest of my life with her?

  * * *

  Father God, is it too soon to tell her I love her? Will she even give me the time of day? Was that smile for me, or the man standing next to me? Should I be cool or should I be bold? She’s the center of attention, the star of the party and there are so many people vying for her attention. Will she even notice me? I have only one chance at a first impression, and I want mine to be lasting. Please God, tell me what to do…please, just let her say ‘hello’.

  * * *

  I can’t believe she said hello. I kissed her hand and my life will never be the same. She’s the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. She’s the one I want to share myself with. She’s the one I want to have children with. She’s the one who will understand my love for You. She’s the one that will understand You’re first in my life. She’s the one who will help me. She’s the one I want to take care of. She’s the one I saw in my dreams. She’s the one You showed me. She’s t
he one You said You set aside just for me. She’s the one I love, my beloved.

  * * *

  She smiled and my life hasn’t been the same. I will do whatever it takes to make her happy. If that means stepping outside of my comfort zone to be with her, I will. If it means leaving my family and friends and starting over, I will. If it means standing in an airport shouting,‘I love you’, I will. If it means letting her walk away, then I will. If it means waiting ten months for her to sort things out, I will. As long as she comes back to me.

  * * *

  Although I can live without her, I choose not to, because she is what I crave. She is what my heart desires. When she kisses me, I taste all that is sweet about her. When I touch her skin, it’s like touching the softest cashmere. My body longs to reside in her sanctuary. When she speaks Your praise it warms my heart and makes me want to praise You even more. When she smiles, my heart skips a beat. When we dance, I don’t want to let her go although I know the dance is just a prelude to something greater.

  * * *

  Dear God, thank you for finding me worthy of such a love. Thank you for blessing me with this beautiful woman, thank you for our life together. Thank you for our family. Thank you for our children. Thank you for answering my prayer. Thank You, God, she said, ‘hello.’

  * * *

  The applause was overwhelming. He said when it came to us he had trouble finding the right words. If, this was about us, not only did he find the right words, he formed them beautifully.

  Collier handed me a white handkerchief with a monogram “B”. It was the one Moses had when he proposed, and used on our wedding day.

  “Thank you.”

  “What do you think?”

  “It’s beautiful.” I dabbed at the tears gathering in my eyes.

  “He wanted to surprise you.”

  “Is the book about us?”

  “No, it’s like he said. It’s about love through the eyes of men.” I wanted to run up on the stage and throw my arms around him, but I couldn’t. The question and answer session was starting.

  “That is so raw and exposed. What or who was the inspiration for the character?” The first young man asked.

  Moses looked at me before answering the question. “This is a subject my friends and I have discussed endlessly. Even men at my age, are baffled by women. And yes, we still get tongue tied when we see a beautiful woman.” Everyone laughed.

  The next student approached the microphone. “You seem to have captured what every man has felt, but has been afraid to say. Is that what happened when you met your wife?”

  “When I met my wife it was a lot like this. However, the man in this passage is a compilation of my friends, and the things they said they felt the moment they met the woman that changed their lives.”

  I knew he had just exaggerated the truth, because that passage was about us.

  “In the past, your work was more geared toward mystery and thrillers. Is it safe to say your wife has changed your writing style?” Asked the next young man.

  “True, I am more comfortable writing in those genres. And yes, my wife has made a change in my life. But I don’t think it has changed my style. I think it has enhanced it. Now I’m able to add romance in the mix, giving the reader another element to explore while trying to figure out who did it.”

  The next student stepped up to the microphone and she had to stand on her tip toes. One of the assistants rushed over and helped her. “Thank you. This man seems too good to be true. Do you think women will gravitate to the men, and do you think men will relate to the male characters?” This young woman sounded a little bitter.

  “Yes, I believe women will love the men, and I believe every man will see himself in one of the characters. No one wants to admit they’ve made a mistake when it comes to love. We’d all like to think we know ourselves well enough not to fall for the wrong person. The truth is, if we had been listening to God in the first place, we wouldn’t have ended up with someone that wasn’t meant for us,” Moses answered.

  The next young woman readjusted the microphone. “Hi, Mr. Moses.”

  “Hi.” He smiled.

  “Mr. Moses, is the woman your wife?”

  “The woman is a compilation of women,” he replied.

  “Really?” she probed.

  “Yes.”

  The moderator stepped to the microphone. “It’s getting late, and we need to let Mr. Moses leave.”

  “I’m fine,” Moses chimed.

  “Are you sure?” the moderator asked.

  “Yes.”

  “After these two, that’s it,” the moderator stressed.

  The second to the last student stepped up to the microphone. She looked a little young to be in college. “Hello, Mr. Moses.” She smiled.

  “You have a pretty smile. What’s your question?” he smiled.

  She seemed to smile wider and if it were possible for her to blush, I think her cheeks would have been the color of a juicy Fuji apple. “Thank you…uhm, have you learned anything about the male-female relationship doing this book, that you didn’t know before?”

  “I believe that is the one relationship God created that is ever changing. I don’t think there’s a definitive manual on the male-female relationship. I think it’s like the character says, thank God, she said hello. Good question.”

  The last student was an awkward looking young man. He approached the mic like he was coming before a firing squad. He cleared his throat. “Good evening, Mr. Moses.”

  “Good evening. What’s your name?” Moses asked.

  “Evan.”

  “Nice strong name. Okay, Evan, what do you want to ask me?”

  “If you hadn’t met your wife, do you think you would have been able to write this book?”

  “My wife loves my books, but she also loves to read romance novels of all sub genres. She suggested I write a romance novel and I said no. However, I was open to adding a romantic sub-plot. Funny thing, as the characters developed, I understood what she was trying to say. That was my long answer.” He smiled. “My short answer is, no. If it weren’t for my wife this book wouldn’t have happened. I guess I gave two long answers,” he joked. “Very good question.”

  “Is she your muse?” he asked.

  “I’m sorry, we’re out of time for questions,” the moderator interrupted.

  “That’s alright. Another good question. The man I was before I met my wife didn’t want anything to do with this kind of love. I was content licking my wounds from my previous relationships. I was focused on being the man I thought God wanted me to be. But she showed me I wasn’t being God’s man, but my own, and not doing a very good job. Now, I believe I’m God’s man, and I believe I’ve written the book He wanted me to write. So in a way, yes, my wife is my muse.”

  “All because she smiled and said hello?”

  “Yes. Thank you. This has been fun.”

  “Let’s give Mr. Moses a hand for sharing that preview with us,” the moderator asked. The audience gave him a standing ovation as he walked out the back door.

  I sneaked out to the lobby immediately after the last question. Moses patiently signed copies of his books for the students. Evan was the last one in line. I eavesdropped on part of his and Moses’ exchange, “Don’t give up on her.”

  “How did you know?”

  Moses smiled at Evan. “Let’s just say, I understand what you’re going through. See that beautiful woman standing behind you in the black dress, trying to pretend she’s not eavesdropping on us?” Evan turned around and our eyes met. “Babe, come here, please.”

  I walked over and stood next to Moses. “I heard you talking about me. I wasn’t eavesdropping,” I teased.

  “Evan, this is my wife, Alexandra.”

  “Pleasure to meet you, Mrs. Moses.” He extended his hand to me.

  That was the first time someone called me by my new alter-ego, ‘Mrs. Moses’. It never occurred to me that as the wife of a renowned writer with a pen name, I would
also have a pseudonym.

  “My pleasure as well,” I replied.

  “Don’t give up on her. If you believe God told you she’s the one, be patient.” Moses handed him a card. “Email me and let me know what happens.”

  “Thank you, sir,” he smiled.“Mrs. Moses.”

  He walked away with a huge smile on his face, and standing up a lot straighter than when he first approached the microphone.

  Moses gently kissed me. “Thanks, Babe.”

  I wiped the lipstick off his lips and whispered, “Let’s go home.”

  He smiled and replied, “Whatever you say, Mrs. Adair.”

  “That’s Mrs. Moses, number one fan and muse, thank you very much.”

  He took my hand and we walked out to the car.

  Chapter Thirty-Four

  Dionne

  * * *

  “WHAT’S GOING ON WITH YOU?”I asked a loaded question.

  “Nothing, everything’s fine,” Kendell replied. “What about you? How are Quentin and the baby?”

  “They’re fine, but that’s not what I’m talking about.”

  “I don’t understand.”

  I looked at her trying to figure out the best way to brooch the subject, but there really wasn’t one. My friend of more than twenty years had been acting like an idiotic teenager, and I didn’t know why. If I said it to her like that, she’d become even more defensive than she already was.

  “What is going on with you? You’re not your usual fun self.”

  She looked vexed at my question. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m trying to be polite.”

  “Then maybe you shouldn’t and just say what’s on your mind.”

  “Why did you break up with Bas?” There I said it. I asked the one question everyone had been asking each other, but not Kendell. We’d given her the space she requested, but her actions warranted an explanation.

  She wiped her mouth and placed her napkin back on her lap. “Is this why you suggested we have dinner and catch up?”