Sinnerman

by Cheryl Bradshaw

  “Has Sinnerman communicated with him yet?”

  “I’m not talking to you about that,” Nick said.

  “So we’re just going to act like none of this is happening, is that it?”

  “If it keeps you safe, yes. The less you know, the better.”

  “There isn’t a thing you can do to keep me away from this,” I said.

  Nick wadded up the papers and threw them across the room. They collided with the wall and single sheets fluttered through the air. I wasn’t sure what he was going for, but I assumed it was dramatic effect.

  “If you want to nose around I can’t stop you,” he said, “but you won’t get any information out of me—not now, not ever. I meant what I said last night. I don’t want you involved in this, and if that means you’re mad at me, I guess that’s how it is. And don’t bother going to anyone else around here because they won’t talk to you either.”

  I wasn’t mad, I was disappointed. It had only been a few months since we moved in together as a couple after he insisted we take our relationship to the next level or it was over, and we were doing fine until he decided to get involved with the cases I took. No case was simple enough that Nick didn’t discourage me from taking it, and the constant bickering about what I was doing and where I was going all the time had taken its toll on me. For us to work I needed him to support me and not micromanage my every move. I was beginning to think that wasn’t possible.

  Nick seemed aware that I was in deep contemplation, and he walked over and slung his arm around my back and rested his hand on the edge of my shoulder.

  “This is for the best, Sloane,” he said. “It really is. You might not see that now, but you will, and then you’ll thank me for it.”

  I doubted that.

  I shrugged him off and walked out and exited the police station. Halfway to my car I picked up my cell phone and pressed number two on my speed dial.

  “Maddie, it’s me. Can you break for lunch? I need you.”

  She popped a bubble into the phone and laughed.

  “Sure thing,” she said. “Just tell me when and where and I’ll be there.”

  I reached my car and my eyes flashed on a piece of pastel pink paper that was creased in half under my windshield wiper. I leaned over the hood and grabbed it. My first instinct was that it was an advert of some sort and someone thought this was a good way to hock their wares. I was about to crunch it up in my hand when I noticed it wasn’t what I thought at all.

  “Hold on a second Maddie,” I said.

  “Alright, but make it quick. The little girl’s room is calling my name.”

  I situated my keys and my phone on top of my car and slid the note open. A series of words in all caps was scrawled in a diagonal pattern across the page in red pen that slanted upward from left to right on three lines:

  HELLO SLOANE MONROE

  SINNERMAN HERE

  LET’S PLAY

  My stomach lurched, and I felt like I’d eaten a bowl full of rocks for breakfast followed by a large glass of milk that had gone sour. I dropped to my knees and squatted next to my car while I pivoted around and canvassed the area, but I saw no one. No cars out of place and no people, anywhere.

  I took my phone in my hand.

  “Maddie, are you still there?” I said, in a whisper.

  “Sure am. You gonna tell me what’s going on, or what?”

  “I need to call you back.”

  CHAPTER 7

  I folded the note and tucked it inside my bag and wondered if Sinnerman was off somewhere not far away with his eyes held fast on me at that very moment. If he was, I didn’t want him to sense the twisted knot that wrenched my insides. I slung my bag over my shoulder and fought off the urge to race back to the police station. Just put one foot in front of the other and take it slow, I told myself, and breathe. You can do this.

  Rose raised an eyebrow when she saw that I’d returned.

  “You’re not back for another round with Coop again, I hope,” she said.

  I shook my head.

  “Is the chief around?”

  She spun her chair to the right and leaned over and stretched her neck out like an ostrich and stared down the hall.

  “I can just make out the top of his head,” she said. “Looks like he’s in his office. Do you want me to¬—”

  I shook my head.

  “That’s okay; I’ll let him know I’m here.”

  Nick was seated at his desk engrossed in some sort of silly war game on his computer when I went by, and he didn’t notice that I’d returned, which was fine by me. I entered through the open door of the chief’s office and tried to be discreet while I sealed it shut behind me. The chief had his cell phone fastened to his ear, and his eyes were honed in on something out his office window. He swung around and caught site of me and made a swift motion with his finger to keep me quiet while he finished his call. I moved to the chair in front of his desk and sat and waited.

  “Look,” he said into his phone. “I don’t care what you have to do—I want answers and I want them now. Call me back when you’ve got something, and until you do, there’s no reason to have this conversation, you got me!”

  He slammed the phone down, took a deep breath in and let out an exasperated sigh and then shoved the mess of papers to the side of his desk and curved his body forward over it. I hesitated. He wasn’t in the best mood, and the last thing I wanted was to make it worse, but there was no getting around it.

  “Do you have a few minutes?” I said.

  His eyes darted in my direction.

  “You wanna know something, kiddo?” he said, “I knew you’d pop up in my office today. And here you are.”

  I stretched my hand inside my bag and felt the slip of paper. Out of the corner of my eye I caught a glimpse of Nick who had discovered I was back in the station and perched inside the chief’s office. He shot up out of his chair like he was a pilot aboard Apollo 13 and had just been cleared for takeoff and sprinted for the door.

  “Listen,” I said to the chief, in a hushed tone, “I need to talk to you about something—alone. It’s important.”

  The chief, who by this time had also observed Nick’s speedy approach, shook his head and ran one of his hands through his overgrown mustache.

  “I’m not the playground monitor,” he said, “and this isn’t preschool, Sloane. If you two are having problems, you need to sort that out on your own.”

  “Please,” I said.

  It was the only word I could get out before Nick landed at the door and opened it and shuffled in. He glared at me and then the chief.

  “What’s she doing in here with you?” Nick said.

  “You ever heard of knocking, Calhoun?” the chief said. “Last time I checked this was my office.”

  “And she’s my business.”

  In all the years that I’d known the chief, I’d never seen his body move at the rate it did in that moment. It was like seeing a scene from a movie play out in fast forward. He nabbed Nick’s arm and with one push, forced him out the door he’d just come through.

  “I’ll be right back,” the chief said over his shoulder.

  And with that, the two of them walked in a brisk manner down the hall and out of sight. A few minutes later, the chief returned, but Nick was nowhere in sight.

  “Everything alright?” I said.

  “It is now that I’ve given the boy the rest of the day off.”

  “Sorry about that.”

  The chief pulled out the chair behind his desk and lowered himself into it.

  “That boyfriend of yours is quite the hothead sometimes,” he said. “I thought he had more respect for you than that.”

  “He’s just been on edge. It’s complicated,” I said.

  With Nick off the premises, I pulled my hand back out of my bag and dispensed the note onto the chief’s desk and said, “The reason why I’m here is because of this.”

  He snatched it up and scrutinized both sides and then shrugged.<
br />
  “What’s this supposed to be then?”

  “Read it,” I said.

  He unfolded it, read it in silence, and then looked over at the unadorned wall to the right and repeated the words on the paper several times out loud.

  “Is this what I think it is?”

  I nodded.

  “You can add he reads the local paper to his profile,” I said.

  “When did you get this, and how?”

  “About fifteen minutes ago I went to leave the station and it was under the windshield on my car,” I said.

  “In my parking lot?”

  I nodded.

  The chief opened his desk drawer and pulled out a piece of plastic and deposited the note inside.

  “The nerve of this guy,” he said. “Unbelievable.”

  He turned toward me.

  “And you,” he said. “What the hell were you thinking with that newspaper article anyway?”

  “At the time all that mattered to me was getting his attention.”

  He placed his fingers on the pressure points of both sides of his forehead and squeezed.

  “Well, you succeeded.”

  “Has he made contact with Coop yet?” I said.

  The chief placed his finger on the center of the plastic that held the note.

  “This is the first we’ve heard from him since the murders started up again.”

  “That’s about what I expected,” I said.

  He squinted his eyes.

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “I’m just not shocked he hasn’t contacted him, that’s all,” I said.

  “Should I be concerned about what you’re not saying with that statement?”

  “Let me ask you a question,” I said.

  He shrugged.

  “Shoot.”

  “That phone call you were on just now—were you trying to find out who leaked the news to the press?” I said.

  “Why does that matter to you?”

  “Because no one in this office betrayed you if that’s what you think happened,” I said.

  “And you know this because…?”

  “Call it female intuition,” I said. “I’ve spent enough time thinking about this guy and how he works.”

  “Yeah well, you’re not the only one.” He sat quiet for a time and then said, “Let’s say I believe your theory, and I’m not saying I do—but if it didn’t come from my men, who then?”

  I pointed to the pink slip of paper.

  “He did it.”

  “Sinnerman?”

  I nodded.

  “It’s important to him that the press gets the information right, and he wants everyone to know what happened. If you won’t release it, he’ll do it himself. It’s that simple.”

  “You know I can’t keep this note from Nick,” he said. “My entire department will be privy to it before long.”

  “I know,” I said. “I just didn’t want to be here when Nick found out whose car that thing was left on. I have enough to deal with right now.”

  “Are things that bad between you two?”

  I stood up and pushed my chair in.

  “To be honest, I don’t know what they are anymore,” I said.

  “Well, it looks like this Sinnerman jerk off, or whatever he’s calling himself these days, is back to his old ways,” the chief said. He picked up the plastic bag that contained the note and jiggled it in the air. “You know what this means, don’t you?”

  “We’ve just increased our chances of catching him?” I said.

  He shook his head.

  “It means I can’t have you out there on your own.”

  “Why not? I’ll be fine. I always have—this isn’t any different.”

  “I didn’t ask for your opinion, Sloane. I’ll assign a detail to keep an eye on you from here on out. And before you open your mouth in protest, you should know it isn’t up for debate. I’m putting one of my best guys on you, and that’s final.”

  CHAPTER 8

  Maddie and I sat on a bench at Rotary Park. She half-listened to what I had to say and the rest of the time peered over her shoulder. When she couldn’t keep quiet any longer she said, “Who’s the hottie at four o’clock?”

  “I’ve named him.”

  “What?”

  I nodded.

  “Taye Diggs,” I said.

  He shared the height of the real Taye Diggs, but had twice the muscle—maybe even three times.

  “You don’t know his real name?” she said.

  “All I’ve been able to get out of him so far is that he’s been assigned to me. I tried to strike up a rapport, but he wasn’t interested. I dare you to say something to him and we’ll see if he grunts at you too.”

  “A guy who doesn’t want to spend all day playing mad gab with a woman—whoever heard of such a thing?” she said.

  We both laughed.

  “Well sweetie, I hope this is what you wanted,” she said, “because there’s no going back now.”

  “It’s not so bad,” I said. “So I have a muscular shadow for a while. It could be worse.”

  “That’s not what I meant,” she said. “Who knows what this freak knows about you—where you live, where you work.” She put her hand on my shoulder. “Promise me you’ll be careful.”

  “He could have found all that information without my public announcement,” I said. “I just sped up the process for him.”

  She took a sip of her blue raspberry Slurpee.

  “Yep, and that’s a nice target you’ve attached to your backside.”

  “I’ll be fine,” I said.

  “That note he left you has me all kinds of freaked out,” she said. “Nick is gonna flip when he finds out. Have you heard from him?”

  I shook my head.

  “I don’t know Maddie. Things with us are, well—not how I thought they were going to be.”

  “I’m sorry,” she said.

  “What do you have to apologize for?”

  “Everything. I feel like I pushed you into moving in together,” she said. “You didn’t think you were ready, and I saw how happy you were or seemed to be and told you to go for it, and now you have, and…”

  “You didn’t force me into anything. I’m a big girl, and I made my own decision. I just didn’t know it was going to be like this.”

  She took another gulp of her Slurpee except it was just about gone, and all she seemed to suck up through her straw was ten percent Slurpee and a bunch of air. I snatched the cup from her and set it on the ground next to me for safe keeping.

  “I’m pretty sure you’re done with this,” I said.

  “Can I tell you something?”

  “Anything.”

  “You seem different now that the two of you are living together.”

  “When we moved in he changed,” I said. “Sometimes I feel like I’m living in the movie Far and Away, and he’s just been given the deed to my life and has staked his claim on me like I’m his property and he holds all the rights to it.”

  “I’m glad you’re getting it out,” she said. “I’ve wanted to talk to you about it for a while now. The dude’s a total control freak. I used to like him, but now—I don’t like what I see.”

  “I know,” I said. “I don’t either.”

  “What are you gonna do?”

  I shrugged.

  “I need some time to think about it,” I said. “And right now, it’s too much for me to deal with. I need to focus on Sinnerman.”

  She nodded.

  “Listen, not to change the subject, but I wondered if you’d mind if I brought a date tomorrow to dinner?”

  “You don’t have to ask my permission,” I said. “Bring whoever you want.”

  “Yes, well, about that—”

  “Oh don’t tell me you made a date with Taye Diggs in the short amount of time we’ve been here.”

  She laughed.

  “Not him, but he is someone you know.”

  Of the two of us,
Maddie was the outspoken one more often than not, but at that moment, her hesitation spoke volumes.

  “What’s with all the secrecy?” I said. “Out with it.”

  “Okay then, it’s Wade.”

  “Wade?”

  She swerved her body to the side and bumped her shoulder on mine.

  “You know,” she said.

  I was confused. Had I missed something? I sat there and tried to think of anyone I’d ever known named Wade. And then it dawned on me.

  “Do you mean to say your date is with Chief Wade Sheppard?”

  I couldn’t remember the last time anyone around me referred to him by his first name.

  “The one and only,” she said.

  “Wow, you and the chief. I never would have thought—”

  “I know, isn’t it great!”

  CHAPTER 9

  I woke the next morning and rolled over and tried to make out the numbers that were displayed on the clock that hung over my closet door. It was time to climb out of bed, but all I wanted was to pull the covers over me and return to the depths of my slumber. I should have embraced the day with happiness, but glee was the farthest thing from my mind. It was my birthday, the one day a year to celebrate my existence in the world, but I could never get through it without thinking of Gabby and all the memories we missed out on together because she wasn’t here.

  I wondered if other people felt the same way I did after their loved ones died and what I would change if I could go back in time and be with her again if I knew what was to become of her. I would have talked to her more often and not just once a week like we were obligated to form some regular contact because we were sisters. Now I wished I’d spoken to her every day and planned more trips together and let her know how much she meant to me. I should have shouted my love for her from the rooftops, and I was ashamed that I thought about all those things now when I couldn’t do any of it. It didn’t seem right to me that so many people in the world waited too long to express their feelings to their loved ones, and yet that’s exactly what I’d done with Gabby.

  After she died I found myself at confession airing out all my regrets to the local priest, even though I hadn’t been to church for years. The priest in all of his infinite wisdom told me I shouldn’t concern myself over such things and said Gabby was in a better place now and she knew how I felt and that one day we would be together again. But would we—how could he be so sure?