Lost in the Wind

by Calle J. Brookes

  The little boy Nikkie Jean held was only around five or so. He stared up at Caine. “Uncle Rafe!”

  Nikkie Jean’s hand tightened on the child’s, pulling him closer protectively. As if she feared Caine would say something to hurt him. That…stung.

  The lack of trust he’d created was hard for him to miss.

  Caine shook his head. “No, I’m not Uncle Rafe, buddy. I’m…Caine.”

  Caine’s sister shot a wary look at Caine. One just as mistrustful as Nikkie Jean’s. The two of them together were enough to make him feel like a first-class slug.

  “Isaac, Katie, remember how we talked about how Uncle Luc, Uncle Rafe, Aunt Zoey, and Aunt Pen are my biological siblings?”

  “Tummy siblings,” the little boy said. “Uh-huh.”

  “This is Caine. He and Uncle Rafe are twins. He’s another of my biological siblings. They were in their mommy’s belly together. They look the same. He’s another one of my tummy brothers.” His sister was quiet and calm with her children, answering the difficult question far better than Caine would have.

  Then she looked up at him, and he saw the nerves. The fear. The inner strength. “Hello, Caine. I’m Ariella.”

  She turned more fully toward him as she straightened. Caine felt his own eyes widen slightly.

  “I know.” She looked just like his daughter. That rocked him. Same pale skin, delicate jawline, long, dark hair worn in a similar style, the big, uncertain, dark eyes. Even the shy smile was an almost exact match. She looked just like Keller.

  And she was scared to death of…him. He’d never deliberately scared a woman in his life—he wasn’t about to start with his own younger sister. She was a good ten years younger than he was, at least. “I’m…these are my three children.”

  Her gaze dropped to the baby, and her eyes softened. Keller and Everett shifted to stand in front of him, strangely silent. Her smile widened, turned open and welcoming.

  The resemblance between her and his children rocked him. Made him forget where they were and the fact that half of Value must have surrounded them. Nikkie Jean was watching every move he made, as if she expected him to pounce at her friend and break her. Nikkie Jean was no doubt ready to jump between them and defend against the enemy.

  He was the enemy now. He didn’t want to be her enemy. Far from it.

  “It’s nice to meet you,” his sister said to the children. “These are my children. Katie and Isaac. She’s seven, and he’s five.”

  “We’re seven,” Everett said, inching closer, curiosity on his face. “We’ll be eight soon. Who are you?”

  He looked up at Caine for clarification.

  “She’s your aunt, Everett. My…younger sister, Ariella.”

  Keller stepped forward and gave the two women a shy smile. “Hi.”

  Nikkie Jean looked at his daughter, and the wariness went away for a moment. She smiled at Keller easily. “Hello, Keller. I love that necklace.”

  “Thank you. Uncle Henry bought it for me.”

  They couldn’t keep blocking the aisle like they were. He motioned toward the last booth. There was a small table behind it. The four older children would fit.

  His eyes met Nikkie Jean’s. She wanted to escape him. He wasn’t about to let that happen. Not now that he’d finally caught her again. He pulled in a deep breath.

  She’d brought the wind with her again.

  He shot out his free hand and wrapped his fingers around the soft skin of her elbow. Nikkie Jean had the softest skin. He’d loved touching her everywhere.

  Damn it, he wanted to touch her like that again. And then again. Just how much he wanted that was sinking in—fast. She’d been in his dreams every night for weeks. Every damned night. Waiting for him with a look on her face. A look that said she was right there—waiting for him. If he was just brave enough to go to her.

  Every damned night. She was driving him crazy.

  “Nikkie Jean, how have you been?”

  There were so many things he wanted to ask her.

  “Just fine.” Someone bumped her from behind, sending her closer to where he stood, surrounded by his children.

  He wanted to scoop her up again, just like he had that night—almost in this very spot.

  He stared down at her in challenge. He wasn’t ready to let her go just yet. “Let’s sit down. This place is packed.”

  “Ariella and the kids were headed to Garrity—where her sisters Pen and Zoey live. We spent the morning making posters for our fund-raiser. Isaac and I are good buddies. And Katie and I both love My Little Ponies.” The chatter was there, but it wasn’t the kind he was used to from her. She was pretending; no doubt for the children’s sake.

  And his sister’s.

  Caine was beginning to wonder just how much that chatter hid the real Nikkie Jean.

  “Dr. Nik is my doctor. From before, when I rode the helicopter,” the little blond girl said as she eyed him suspiciously. “Is she your doctor, too? You look like Uncle Rafe and a pirate.”

  “Do I? I’ve always liked pirates. I like their parrots and eye patches. But I don’t have a wooden leg.”

  Her look told him she was reserving judgment on him. This child had been through hell recently; it had been all over the news. The children sat eyeing each other warily. His children didn’t warm up to strangers quickly. Apparently, neither did his sister’s future stepchildren.

  He hadn’t realized the woman involved in the abductions and murder had been his sister until well after reports of her being rescued had aired.

  Nikkie Jean slipped into the U-bench seat. Caine followed behind her, clutching his youngest close. She still smelled like jasmine. Just like he’d remembered.

  Dalton climbed out of his arms and into the booth between him and Nikkie Jean. There hadn’t been any booster seats available in the crowd, but his son was a taller boy; he’d be able to reach.

  Caine took a moment while Ariella was settling her two children at the table next to them with Keller and Everett to look at Nikkie Jean.

  “Are you doing ok?”

  “Of course. Why wouldn’t I be? Although it has been a busy few weeks.” She looked away from him, then smiled at Dalton.

  At least it was a genuine smile.

  Dalton seemed fascinated by her, babbling at her in his own language interspersed with a few recognizable words. She laughed and talked right back at him. Dalton reached for her.

  She hesitated, then looked at Caine for permission. He nodded. She was probably the one woman in the world he would fully trust with his children.

  She drew him more than any other woman ever had. Even his ex-wife. After he and April had gotten together, he’d been able to concentrate. To work. Even during the ups and downs of their relationship.

  But that wasn’t the case with this woman next to him.

  He found her creeping in when he’d least expected it.

  He understood his son’s fascination. Dalton snuggled onto her lap as if he’d been there a thousand times before.

  Nikkie Jean cuddled his youngest son close, talking to him and rocking him. Dalton just cuddled closer, shooting her a beautiful smile and babbling. His son wrapped one hand around her braid and just held it.

  His sister settled across from him finally. Hesitantly. Caine looked at her again. It was hard for him not to stare.

  He hadn’t wanted to meet her—or the others. But he’d kept their letter. He wasn’t certain why he had. But he had.

  What was he supposed to do with this woman now?

  Nikkie Jean started chattering at Ariella, inane conversation including softball, fund-raisers, and some sort of choir benefit.

  His sister relaxed right before his eyes.

  Before long, Nikkie Jean had her responding. Easily.

  It clicked. Nikkie Jean had done so deliberately. It was a definite gift she had, putting people at ease. Too bad it had the opposite effect on him. It just made him want her more.

  He studied his sister’s profile as she
spoke.

  It was like looking at an adult version of Keller. His daughter had always been so pale compared to him and Everett and Dalton, he’d wondered at it. Now he had his answer. Genetics. The shape of the jaw was the same, and the eyes. The smile. All three of his children had the same smile as this woman he did not know.

  Caine didn’t know what to think about that.

  But he could not ignore it. Not any longer.

  His daughter giggled at the next table over, and he looked at her. She was sitting with cousins now. Connections.

  Keller looked so much like the aunt she didn’t know. Keller kept shooting looks at Ariella, no doubt filled with curiosity.

  There was a connection; one he didn’t know if he wanted to foster further. But he couldn’t deny it existed any longer.

  The chains of fate were tightening around him.

  23

  THIS WAS ONE OF the most awkward lunches of her life. And Nikkie Jean had been to quite a few, thanks to her family. Caine didn’t say much, and that made Ariella even more nervous.

  Caine’s son sat on her lap, eating his lunch and giggling. Snuggling in that particular way children had when they were sleepy.

  Having Caine Alvaro’s son on her lap was a strange kind of awkward she didn’t really want to delve too deeply into.

  Nikkie Jean kept up the conversation as much as she could while everyone ate.

  For her friend’s sake, not Caine’s. Ariella was so painfully shy. The awkwardness of this was not something she’d wish on anyone—especially Ariella. Ariella was the only reason Nikkie Jean hadn’t taken one look at him and his little mini-Alvaros and headed straight for the hills.

  Ariella needed the extra protection from a man like Caine.

  By the time the meal was over, the two little girls had become fast friends, and Nikkie Jean herself was completely in love with one of the Alvaro men.

  He had his father’s smile and the biggest, darkest brown eyes she had ever seen. A twinge of what could have been hit her. When she had been sixteen and she’d been told the prognosis and that she’d most likely never have children, she’d been devastated. She’d lived for years daydreaming about the children she would have, and how she would be a far better parent to them than she had had. To lose that had been to lose…her hope. That hurt hadn’t lessened all that much.

  She was considering adopting eventually, after she was established in her career and could better afford to care for kids on her own. There were so many out there that needed homes. Especially teenagers.

  She could make a home for teenagers, especially those with traumas. At least that was her plan, eventually. She needed to talk to Annie about that. Her friend was in the process of adopting her three foster sons soon. And her mother’s foster daughter was about to age out of the system. Annie would know more about the process.

  Twelve percent wasn’t much of a hope, and her father had pointed that out to her very bluntly that day. Even Nikkie Jean’s own research had shown that the twelve percent was a conservative estimate. It could have been as high as twenty-five percent, but not likely. And the odds of a condom failing at the exact wrong time with her particular problems made it most likely even less than that twelve percent.

  The only partially unprotected sex she’d ever had in her life had been with Caine. So no possibility there. Not without a serious miracle happening.

  The man had made three absolutely beautiful children, though. That shot a momentary pang through her heart. Just momentarily. Nikki Jean had more common sense than to go for stupid wishes that would never come true.

  Caine Alvaro had gotten exactly what he’d wanted out of her, and she’d given it to him willingly. Now it was time to forget all about the man pressing far too close to her side for comfort. And forget about how wonderful the man smelled and how perfect the feel of him had been that night.

  There was something to be said about strong dragon-covered arms holding her tight.

  It had taken her a long time to be able to enjoy spontaneous sex with even a long-term partner without having a PTSD flashback right in the middle.

  Or to be able to connect with her partner at all. That mattered.

  There had been a few times she’d felt like a robot going through the motions. Completely disconnected.

  She’d had four years of regular therapy between that relationship and now. She’d come a long way since then.

  She would just take that night with Caine as the experience that it was—and move on. Period.

  Sex could be so complicated.

  After the kids were finished eating, she listened as Caine gave Ariella his email address and his cell number. As he told her gently that he was glad they’d gotten to meet today.

  It was a start. He hadn’t said anything rude or hateful or hurtful to Ariella; not like Rafe had at first. She’d give him that. He was almost gentle with her. Similar to how he spoke with his own daughter, who seemed shy and sensitive, as well.

  Just like her aunt.

  Funny how that seemed to work. Keller was like Ariella in miniature.

  Now, Everett…he sat eyeing them with the same mistrust and suspicion as she’d seen in his uncle’s eyes before. Everett was definitely very much like his father and uncle.

  She had no doubt that Ariella and her family would make room for him and his children. All he had to do was take that first step.

  They’d even made room for her. And she was just a work friend of Jillian’s and Lacy’s.

  Dalton refused to let her go, so Nikkie Jean slipped him onto her hip. He was a hefty kid and looked older than she knew him to be. He was super sweet, and when he laid his head on her shoulder, she was a total goner.

  He was out within seconds.

  She’d always enjoyed working with children, giving them someone they could trust when they needed it. Her neighbors as a child had had much younger children. Nikkie Jean had spent as much time at their house as she could get away with until they’d moved away when she’d been fifteen.

  Nikkie Jean had grieved them for years, but something had happened with Nikkie Jean’s mother. The neighbors had cut off all contact with her family completely after that.

  Keller sidled closer, asking about the plastic bracelets on her wrist. Nikkie Jean talked with her quietly, while Ariella and Caine spoke. Everett just eyed her suspiciously. Much like his father did every time she saw him.

  Which, if she had her way, would be even less than she just had. No sense tempting fate, after all. It was probably best to just forget about Caine Alvaro as much as she possibly could.

  Although that hadn’t been easy in the last month or so. The man had a bad habit of creeping into her thoughts when she least expected it.

  Or right after Rafe would walk by.

  Hard to forget the very sight of a man when he had a clone in her orbit every single day of the work week.

  That whole once-a-decade screwup quota had been met; she wasn’t about to repeat that. She’d told herself that every time he crossed her mind—or every time she saw his clone.

  She wouldn’t have slept with the man if she had not have had feelings for him. Already. Sudden, sharp, intense, the attraction had been real. Even though she’d never been attracted to his twin for even a moment, she had been to Caine.

  She’d trusted him. On a level she hadn’t even realized until he’d been standing next to her bed telling her a future was never going to happen. That trust had fizzled in a single heartbeat.

  She’d not yet been able to figure out why. Or how it had happened as fast as it had. Maybe she needed to make an appointment with the psych department. Find someone to talk to about all this—besides Annie and Izzie, or the therapist at W4HAV. They knew there had been a stupid-mistake event, but she hadn’t shared details. She wasn’t exactly the share all the gory details type.

  She never had a lot of people with whom to practice that little skill.

  Twice monthly therapy notwithstanding.

  Trust ha
d never happened to her before; not like that.

  She wasn’t about to let him get under her skin and push her away again. Nope. It hurt too much when that happened. Best to keep the Grand Canyon between them.

  She waited until Ariella had loaded her children into the limo that drove her everywhere and then turned back to Caine. His two eldest were still in the diner talking to the mayor’s children, so they had a moment of privacy.

  His youngest slept on her shoulder. She patted the tiny back and looked up at the grown version in front of her. “Thank you.”

  “For?”

  “For Ariella. Not rejecting her outright. She’s…healing. This is the first she’s done anything without Marc or the rest of her family hovering since it happened. Jillian and Lacy, her sisters-in-law—they both had to work and asked me to stay close to her today, if I could. They don’t think she’s ready to be alone for too long yet.” The horror Ariella had gone through still sickened her. Jillian had privately shared that Ariella was still struggling with the guilt of not being able to better protect Isaac and Katie during the attack.

  Part of what Nikkie Jean had been tasked with doing by Jillian and Lacy was providing a neutral sounding board to help Caine’s sister work through those nightmares.

  Ariella was responsible for creating W4HAV, but that didn’t mean she was exempt from the effects of trauma. Far from it. Nikkie Jean was determined to be there for Ariella however she was needed.

  She and Ariella weren’t superclose friends, yet. But work they’d done this morning had given them time to really talk, like they hadn’t before, even with Ariella’s two children running in and out of the room.

  It left Nikkie Jean feeling raw, even without Ariella’s older brother next to her.

  If there was one thing Nikkie Jean understood, it was the value of counseling—even just talking with other survivors of trauma. After she’d transferred to Finley Creek ten months ago, she’d made certain to find a support system. She’d found it in W4HAV, which had been operating out of temporary offices at nearby Lucas Tech. Ariella and Margo had been trying to get the center going then. And struggling with the actual needs of the clients.