Shattered

by Kele Moon

  He took his time slipping out from underneath Amber, pulled his jeans on as silently as possible, and closed the bedroom door gently. Then he went down the stairs when he was sure Amber wouldn’t be disturbed

  He entered the kitchen, finding his cousin sitting at the table. Miles was drinking a fresh cup of coffee. Jazz was pouring himself a new one, but they both had the look of wolves who had stopped talking the second Desmon opened the door upstairs.

  “Morning,” Jazz said casually. “How’s Amber feeling?”

  “She’s fine.” Desmon tried to stay civil, but he was still way too on edge for pleasantries. “What happened with the Alliance?”

  Miles set his cup on the table and lowered his gaze, making it obvious he didn’t come with news he was happy to share. “The thing is, Des—”

  “He’s getting away with some sort of fine after what he did to her, despite knowing she was mine?” Desmon’s voice was completely inhuman. “That better be the bad news, because if I have to go to trial for saving my mate—”

  Miles looked up at Desmon and flinched. “No trial, but no fine for the Goodwins, either.”

  Desmon stared in disbelief. “What?”

  “It was Leroy’s blood that made her wolf, and you trespassed on Goodwin land to steal her before he had a chance with her. Not to mention the shit-show at the border.” Miles almost sounded like he agreed with the Alliance. “Trust me on this, Des. Let it go.”

  Desmon stared at his cousin like he didn’t know him. “Are you actually okay with this? You think it’s fair that he’s getting away with stealing my mate?”

  “Seriously?” Miles growled, clearly insulted. “You’re asking me that?”

  “Well, they’re your buddies!”

  “I grew up fighting on the same borders you did. I know who the Goodwins are, but Carl’s hands were tried. He did the best he could for us, and it was a lot!” Miles barked, like he believed it “You know Leroy, he manipulated the facts. No one ever said he was stupid. On paper, he has the better case. Ask Jazz—”

  “Leave me out of it.” Jazz held up his hands, his voice growly, too. “I still can’t believe this is happening. The Goodwins come off looking like they’re human advocates now. That’s bullshit.”

  “You can’t believe it? I feel like I woke up on a different fucking planet,” Desmon agreed with Jazz, before turning back to Miles. “Look, I’m sorry. I know none of this is your fault. You had my back. Amber and I appreciate it more than you will ever know, but it’s obvious they lied their asses off! Gary saw her in town! He was sniffing after her! Did you remind him of that?”

  “It doesn’t prove anything, Des. With the Alliance, it’s all about concrete proof, and Gary wasn’t even there when she was turned. So, like it or not, none of it means anything. They can’t start putting shifters on trial without evidence. You don’t want that. No one does. Even if this sucks right now, they’re good rules.” Miles sounded miserable. “Leroy said Amber sideswiped one of his teenage pups with a car. When she got out to check on him, she tripped in the mud and hit her head. He said the other one, Rich, is full grown, but he has more wolf than human for smarts. He thought she was dying and wanted to save the pretty human. Rich gave her some blood and threw her in the trunk rather than let her die on the road.”

  “Humans have emergency services. He had a phone,” Desmon argued. “He could’ve called 9-1-1 and left, instead he hogtied her with bungie cords!”

  “They inspected her car, Des. It was obvious she hit something,” Jazz sighed.

  “Because they set her up! That’s human hunting, and last I checked, it’s still illegal as hell.”

  “Yeah, but Carl interviewed Rich, and he kind of agreed with Leroy about the guy. He thinks it’s a miracle Rich didn’t just eat her when he thought she was dying, especially on the full moon. You know the Alliance has to make certain allowances for rural packs. They think we run wild too much out here.”

  “Well.” Jazz tilted his head and took a sip of his coffee. “They’re not wrong about that.”

  “Nope.” Miles sighed again. “Anyway, Rich and the pup came off as saints taking her back to Leroy, who changed Amber right away when he saw they accidently used too much blood trying to heal her. Then he called us to make sure we knew she was one of his now. He planned to celebrate the full moon with his new pack bitch…until you showed up. If you hadn’t mated her, we could’ve had to give Amber back to him. Also, you avoided being executed. No trial. You’re free and clear, which was all I cared about at this point.”

  Desmon still couldn’t let it go. “What about the conflict at the border? That attack was preplanned.”

  “We’re guilty of it, too.” Miles shrugged. “Jazz and Jason ran our enforcers across the north border on purpose. They showed up to the fight as a diversion for us, and the Goodwins lost four wolves in that fight on top of Gary. We didn’t lose anyone. That doesn’t exactly make us look like the victimized pack on paper or during a trial.”

  “And what about the fact that Amber didn’t want him? She already knew she was my mate when they changed her. That doesn’t matter? Anyone can just grab a shifter’s mate and shove her in the trunk? The Alliance is good with that? My mate’s pain is being ignored because I train my wolves to fight better than Leroy’s do?”

  “Again, there’s no proof. You saw what Amber was like in the woods. Lots of weres get changed under stressful conditions, but we don’t want the Alliance to start putting a ban on making new shifters. It’s one of those bullshit loopholes they can’t fix, but they can’t alter it either, because the changeover is confusing. It’s scary for new shifters. They’re not thinking clearly. They don’t know how to hold form or process new information. It’s not fair, but it’s still not dependable evidence to put a shifter to death over. They’d listen to her statement, but in a trial, her testimony wouldn’t count.”

  Desmon snorted. “That’s convenient.”

  Miles winced again. “So, Carl did me a huge favor, chalked it up in the report to full moon wolf shenanigans, and walked away. The fact that you were fucking her before she was taken made him especially sympathetic. She’s your mate. He understands why you went after her, even if his hands are tied by bureaucratic bullshit. He said he’d fix her were registration with the Alliance and update the Nightwind files about your mating. He did the best he could under the circumstance.”

  “Is full moon wolf shenanigans a genuine thing they list on Alliance reports?” Jazz asked curiously.

  “Yeah.” Miles let out a bitter laugh. “They just fucking give up on wolves for the full moon. We killed five shifters and got away with it. What does that tell you?”

  Out of the blue, Desmon lost control of his wolf, which was still feeling more than a little under attack where Amber was concerned. He reached forward, grabbed the edge of the table and flipped it over, sending dishes to the floor and napkins flying.

  Jazz jumped back, but Miles just growled in annoyance. “Fuck me, Des, are you a pup now? You can’t fucking control it?”

  “You’re going to make me tell my mate he’s getting off free and clear?” Desmon roared at both of them. “I have to go up there and tell her shifters don’t give a shit about what happened to her?”

  “There’s a reason full moon wolf shenanigans is the most written complaint. Pack wolves are wild. Look at this, and you’re the one in charge!” Miles ran both hands over his face and took a deep breath like he was trying to get ahold of his own beast. “Des, I love you, but—Goddamn, you and Amber are well suited, ‘cause your alpha side can make you a legitimate motherfucker sometimes.”

  “Now you’re making me the bad guy?” Desmon’s voice cracked with hurt, the pain crushing in on him without warning. “I’m the big bad wolf.”

  A ghost of a smile showed on Miles’s scarred face. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

  Desmon growled and walked out of the kitchen. “I’m going back to bed with my mate.”

  He felt th
e sting in his eyes, realizing he was fighting off actual tears of frustration and anger. What the hell was he going to tell Amber? He could barely face her, but he couldn’t stay away either.

  Miles caught him before he could get to the stairs, because the asshole was too fucking fast in human form. No shifter should spend that much time sulking around in skin. Desmon tried to break out of his cousin’s hold when he wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly from behind like his father used to do when he was little and Desmon couldn’t control his temper. Only, Desmon wasn’t little anymore and he didn’t want to be reminded of his father. Not right now.

  To humans, it would probably look like a fight.

  To wolves, it was more playful than anything. Even if Desmon didn’t see it like that while he was rolling on the carpet, trying to break away, he knew Miles did, which only served to piss him off more.

  “This is all well and good if you need an outlet before you go upstairs to your mate, but you know this isn’t Miles’s fault,” Jazz whispered after a few long minutes of Miles doing most of the wrestling and Desmon doing most of the growling and losing. “They found Gary’s body three miles inland, on the opposite side of our border. You killed him on his own land, and you admitted to it.”

  “I don’t give a shit! I’m trying to make her like us!” Desmon roared when the anger at his cousin morphed into full-fledged fear of losing his mate. He couldn’t stop seeing Amber naked under Gary Goodwin in the woods. All her pain. All her humiliation. It felt like his fault. “I want her to feel safe!”

  “Good luck with that, because it’s a lie. No one’s safe. No one on this whole fucking planet. It’s dangerous to be human. It’s dangerous to be wolf, too.” Miles let Desmon go to stare down at his own scarred arm pointedly, before he glanced back to him. “Living is dangerous. We’re all going to die one day, and maybe having a mate now makes it harder. I wouldn’t know. But you’re going to have to learn how to deal with it.”

  Desmon rolled onto his back when Miles let him go. He looked up at the ceiling of the house built for his family by the pack, trying desperately to calm himself down before he went back to Amber. His mother was content now. She and Hope loved the Hunter pack, and Arizona, but she had suffered so much being a shifter and it haunted him as much as Amber’s pain did.

  “Do you think she would’ve been happier if he never changed her?” Desmon asked both of them. “What if he never found her? And she lived out her life not knowing there was a wolf who was born to adore her?”

  “Who?” Jazz asked him, sounding mystified.

  “My mother.”

  “Okay, no.” Miles rolled over on the carpet next to him and threaded his fingers behind his head. “No wonder your wolf has you flipping over tables. You can’t let your mind go there, Des. Amber’s not going to end up like your mother.”

  Desmon shook his head. “You don’t know that. Like you said, living is dangerous. Anything could happen to me, and then what? Either she dies with me, or she’s stuck alone with shifter pups.”

  “I wouldn’t let that happen. I wouldn’t leave your mate and pups unprotected.” Miles gestured at Jazz standing over them. “And he won’t let it happen either.” He pointed to the front door next. “None of them are going to let that happen to her. Your enforcers support you. All your wolves do. We have a solid pack now. Break all the tables you want, but you know it wasn’t the same back then after my parents died. That was Uncle Nesso’s mistake, letting Albert stay, leaning on an alpha he knew he couldn’t trust.”

  “It already happened. Look at what they did to her,” Desmon whispered miserably. “Fucking Goodwins, they’ll always be plotting, always trying for this land. It’s been generations of this shit now. My pups are going to be stuck dealing with them one day.”

  “Fuck that, no. We’re going to get the Goodwins.” Jazz sat down on the carpet next to Desmon, looking fierce. “I’m not playing this time. I’m done with those motherfuckers. We’re taking them down after this. Leroy wants to start shit with us? He likes to play around and fuck with us every full moon? Fine, let’s finish it for him this time.”

  Miles rolled over and propped his head in his hand. “I’m game.”

  “You’re always game,” Desmon huffed, because Miles would show up at the gates of hell if a fight was supposed to be there. “And who’ll protect the rest of Nightwind when all of us are in deep with the Alliance for ripping apart the Goodwins?”

  “Yeah, ‘cause we’re great at following rules and keeping our noses clean.” Miles let out a snort of disbelief. “This situation with Amber was an isolated fuck up, but it’s not our standard. Look at what we did to that pack who tried to get Brandi from Jason. If we cleaned that up—”

  “Those were untrained, unseasoned city wolves pretending they were a real pack,” Desmon reminded him. “The Goodwins are not city wolves. Leroy knows what he’s doing, and even if he hadn’t manipulated the Alliance, the Goodwins know this land almost as well as we do.”

  “Yeah, almost, but their tracking only takes them so far,” Miles reminded him. “And we’ll get better. I’ll teach a scenting class for the older cubs. You were right about that. We’ll do more survival training. Males and females. They won’t like it, but it’ll be good for them.”

  “We’ll do it with all of them,” Jazz jumped in, sounding determined. “I’ll take groups of the enforcers up into the mountains a few times a week for extra training. We’ll start sleeping outside more, and toughen them up too. I don’t have a mate, what the hell do I have to do.”

  Desmon considered them for a moment. “It would be nice to have actual peace in this area. To give Amber the pups she wants without worrying every day about war stealing them from her.”

  “And all those poor females in Goodwin.” Jazz’s voice was distant. “We should do this. Not just for Amber, but for Marcy too.”

  Desmon sat up and rested his hand on his knee as the idea took root. That wild and crazy dream he barely dared entertain of raising his pups with Amber on land he wasn’t constantly fighting to protect. Free and clear territory, no border wars, like the Hunter Pack in Arizona where females went to feel safe and protected.

  “Sucks I’m on the Alliance’s shit list now,” Desmon whispered, knowing the report was going to be filed, even if he hadn’t been tried or fined. “That’ll make it a lot harder.”

  “If only you knew someone with inside knowledge of all the ins and outs of the Alliance,” Miles mused thoughtfully. “Packs change hands, Des. Territories expand. Gary’s gone. Leroy lost his back up, and you know that hurts. Old alphas disappear, new ones take over. There’s a lot of females over in Goodwin who wouldn’t complain if they got you for an alpha instead of Leroy. It won’t be easy, but it can be done.”

  “It’ll still take a long time, years maybe. I can’t risk going on trial and getting executed by the Alliance. I have a mate now. We have to be really careful. I could doom Amber with me, especially if we don’t have pups for her to stay alive for.”

  “You know we made mistakes. You left Gary behind.” Jazz gave Desmon a knowing look. “You can’t do that next time. No body. No proof, and the Alliance looks the other way. That was crazy dangerous.”

  Miles winced, like that was something he was avoiding bringing up because he’d been surprised by it too. Desmon hadn’t been willing to risk his mate seeing anything more traumatizing. He hadn’t told Miles the truth until they crossed the border.

  “Okay, I fucked up. I should’ve eaten him. If Amber wasn’t there, I would’ve,” Desmon growled, then turned when he felt the back of his neck prickling in warning—only to see Amber standing at the stop of the stairs. “And that’s perfect.”

  Somehow he hadn’t heard her or smelled her coming, which didn’t help Desmon’s overall state of mind.

  “I heard the yelling.” Amber wore one of his t-shirts that hung down to her knees, and folded her arms, exposing her bare thighs.

  “I have to take off.” Miles
rolled back and jumped to his feet when Amber started walking down the stairs. “Hey, Amber. I’ll catch you later.”

  “You don’t have to leave,” she argued as Miles walked for the door.

  “Yeah, I do.” Miles turned the knob without a backwards glance. “We’ll do dinner sometime. My place. It’s quiet there. You’ll like it.”

  She stopped at the foot of the stairs, looking at Desmon and Jazz still sprawled out on the carpet after Miles left.

  “I guess it didn’t go well with the Shifter Alliance.”

  Desmon shook his head, feeling too sick to do more than that.

  “They’re not going to do anything to the Goodwins,” Jazz explained for him. “It was lucky, but Desmon needs a little time to see that.”

  “I see it,” Desmon whispered next to him, before he looked back to Amber. “I just wanted better news for you, Angel.”

  Amber tilted her head, and stared at the destroyed table in the kitchen, her expression making her appear distant. “Would you really have eaten him if I hadn’t been there?”

  Desmon looked to her as the back of his neck got hot. He made slow work of getting to his feet rather than answer her.

  “Forget Des. I would’ve eaten him if I’d known it was going to cost us this much headache,” Jazz deadpanned and took another drink of his coffee that he had casually brought with him from the kitchen while Miles and Desmon fought. “In fact, I would’ve done it without the headache. I would’ve done it just because the Goodwins are a fucking pain in our ass.”

  “Jazz—” Desmon felt his lip twitch in spite of everything.

  “I don’t even understand what the debate is. Look at what he did to her.” Jazz growled, suddenly looking vicious. “He’s a fucking human hunter. I’d eat him twice—with barbeque sauce.”

  “Bye, Jazz.” Desmon gave him a sharp look. “Only call if it’s an emergency. It’s still our mating honeymoon, and we’ve been through a lot. Obviously, my wolf needs more time to calm down. Tell the others.”

  Jazz held up his phone as he stood. “Already ahead of you.”