Promise Me (2006)

by Harlan - Myron 08 Coben

  Yes, that's very funny. Here comes the first word. Actually it's two words. Just tell me what pops in your head: Ali Wilder. Warmth, Myron said . Liar . Okay, I think we've discussed this enough . Myron?What?When was the last time you tried to save someone?The usual faces flashed strobelike through Myron's head. He tried to block them out . Myron?Don't start, Myron said softly. I've learned my lesson . Have you?He thought now about Ali, about that wonderful smile and the openness of her face. He thought about Aimee and Erin in his old bedroom down in the basement, about the promise he had forced them to make . A li doesn't need rescuing, Myron . You think that's what this is about?When I say her name, what's the first thing that comes to mind?Warmth, Myron said again . But this time, even he knew he was lying . Six years . That was how long it had been since Myron had played superhero. In six years he hadn't thrown a punch. He hadn't held, much less fired, a gun. He hadn't threatened or been threatened. He hadn't cracked wise with steroid-inflated pituitary glands. He hadn't called Win, still the scariest man he knew, to back him up or get him out of trouble. In the past six years, none of his clients had been murdered a real positive in his business. None had been shot or arrested well, except for that prostitution beef out in Las Vegas, but Myron still claimed that was entrapment. None of his clients or friends or loved ones had gone missing . He had learned his lesson . Don't stick your nose in where it doesn't belong. You're not Batman, and Win is not a psychotic version of Robin. Yes, Myron had saved some innocents during his quasi-heroic days, including the life of his own son. Jeremy, his boy, was nineteen now Myron couldn't believe that either and was serving in the military in some undisclosed spot in the Middle East . But Myron had caused damage too. Look what had happened to Duane and Christian and Greg and Linda and Jack.... But mostly, Myron could not stop thinking about Brenda. He still visited her grave too frequently. Maybe she would have died anyway, he didn't know. Maybe it wasn't his fault . The victories have a tendency to wash off you. The destruction the dead stay by your side, tap you on the shoulder, slow your step, haunt your sleep . Either way, Myron had buried his hero complex. For the past six years, his life had been quiet, normal, average boring, even . Myron rinsed off the dishes. He semi-lived in Livingston, New Jersey, in the same town nay, the same house where he was raised. His parents, the beloved Ellen and Alan Bolitar, performed aliya, returning to their people's homeland (south Florida) five years ago. Myron bought the house as both an investment, a good one, in fact, and so that his folks would have a place to return to when they migrated back during the warmer months. Myron spent about a third of his time living in this house in the burbs and two-thirds rooming with Win at the famed Dakota apartment building on Central Park West in New York City . He thought about tomorrow night and his date with Ali. Win was an idiot, no question about that, but as usual his questions had scored a hit, if not a bull's-eye. Forget that looks stuff. That was utter nonsense. And forget the hero complex stuff too. That wasn't what this was about. But something was holding him back and yes, it had to do with Ali's tragedy. Try as he might, he couldn't shake it . A s for the hero stuff, making Aimee and Erin promise to call him that was different. It doesn't matter who you are the teenage years are hard. High school is a war zone. Myron had been a popular kid. He was a Parade All-American basketball player, one of the top recruits in the country, and, to trot out a favorite clichT, a true scholarathlete. If anyone should have had it easy in high school, it would be someone like Myron Bolitar. But he hadn't. In the end, no one gets out of those years unscathed . You just need to survive adolescence. That's all. Just get through it . Maybe that was what he should have said to the girls.

  Chapter 4

  The next morning Myron headed into work. His office was on the twelfth floor of the Lock-Horne Building as in Win's name on Park Avenue and Fifty-second Street in midtown Manhattan. When the elevator opened, Myron was greeted with a big sign a new addition to the place that readMB REPS in some funky font. Esperanza had come up with the new logo. The M stood for Myron. The B for Bolitar. The Reps came from the fact that they were in the business of representation. Myron had come up with the name by himself. He would often pause after telling people that and wait for the applause to die down . Originally, when they just worked in the sports field, the firm was called MB SportsReps instead of MB Reps. Over the past five years the company had diversified, representing actors, authors, and celebrities of various stripes. Ergo the clever shortening of the name. Getting rid of the excess, cutting away the fat. Yep, that was MB Reps right down to the name . Myron heard the baby cry. Esperanza must be in already. He poked his head into her office . Esperanza was breast-feeding. He immediately looked down . Uh, I'll come back later . Stop being an ass, Esperanza said. You'd think you've never seen a breast before . Well, it's been a while . A nd certainly not one this spectacular, she added. Sit . A t first, MB SportsReps had just been just Myron the super-agent and Esperanza the receptionist/secretary/Girl Friday. You may remember Esperanza during her years as the sexy, lithe professional wrestler named Little Pocahontas. Every Sunday morning on Channel 11 here in the New York area, Esperanza would take to the ring, donning a feathered headband and drool-inducing bikini of pseudosuede. Along with her partner, Big Chief Mama, known in real life as Big Cyndi, they held the intercontinental tag-team championship belt for FLOW, the Fabulous Ladies Of Wrestling. The wrestling organization had originally wanted to call itself the Beautiful Ladies Of Wrestling, but the network had trouble with the ensuing acronym . Esperanza's current title at MB Reps was senior vice president, but she pretty much ran the sports division now . Sorry I missed your coming-out party, Esperanza said . I t wasn't a coming-out party . Whatever. Hector here had a cold . I s he better now?He's fine . So what's going on here?Michael Discepolo. We need to get his contract done . The Giants still dragging their feet?Yes . Then he'll be a free agent, Myron said. I think that's probably a good move, what with the way he's been playing . Except Discepolo is a loyal guy. He'd rather sign . Esperanza pulled Hector away from her nipple and put him on the other breast. Myron tried not to look away too suddenly. He never quite knew how to play it when a woman breast-fed in front of him. He wanted to be mature about it, but what exactly did that mean? You don't stare, but you don't divert your eyes either. How do you mine the area between those two?I have some news, Esperanza said . Oh?Tom and I are getting married . Myron said nothing. He felt a funny twinge . Well?Congrats . That's it?I'm surprised, that's all. But really, I think that's great. When's the big day?Three weeks from Saturday. But let me ask you something. Now that I'm marrying the father of my baby, am I still a fallen woman?I don't think so . Damn, I like being a fallen woman . Well, you still had the baby out of wedlock . Good point. I could run with that . Myron looked at her . What's wrong?You, married. He shook his head . I was never big on commitment, was I?You change partners like a cineplex changes movies . Esperanza smiled. True . I don't even remember you staying with the same gender for more than, what, a month?The wonders of bisexuality, Esperanza said. But it's different with Tom . How so?I love him . He said nothing . You don't think I can do it, she said. Stay true to one person . I never said that . Do you know what bisexual means?Of course, Myron said. I dated a lot of bisexual women I'd mention sex, the girl would say, 'Bye.' Esperanza just looked at him . Okay, old joke, he said. It just . . . Myron sort of shrugged . I like women and I like men. But if I make a commitment, it's to a person, not a gender. Make sense?Sure . Good. Now tell me what's wrong with you and this Ali Wilder . Nothing's wrong . Win said you two haven't done the deed yet . Win said that?Yes . When?This morning . Win just came in here and said that?First he made a comment about my increased cup size since giving birth, then yes, he told me that you've been dating this woman for almost two months and haven't done the nasty yet . What makes him think that?Body language . He said that?Win is good when it comes to body language . Myron shook his head . So is he right?I'm having dinner at Ali's house tonight. The kids are staying with her sister . She made this pl
an?Yes . A nd you haven't...? With Hector still feeding, Esperanza still managed to gesture the point . We haven't . Man . I 'm waiting for a signal . Like what, a burning bush? She invited you to her house and told you the kids would be away for the night . I know . That's the international signal for Jump My Bones . He said nothing . Myron?Yes . She's a widow not a cripple. She's probably terrified . That's why I'm taking it slow . That's sweet and noble, but stupid. And it's not helping . So you're suggesting...?A major bone jump, yes.

  Chapter 5

  Myron arrived at Ali's at seven P. M. The Wilders lived in Kasselton, a town about fifteen minutes north of Livingston. Myron had gone through a strange ritual before leaving his house. Cologne or no cologne? That one was easy: no cologne. Tighty-whities or boxers? He chose something between the two, that hybrid that was either tight boxers or long tighties. Boxer briefs, the package said. And he chose them in gray. He wore a Banana Republic tan pullover with a black T-shirt underneath. The jeans were from the Gap. Slip-on loafers from the Tod's outlet store adorned his size-fourteen feet. He couldn't be more American Casual if he tried . A li opened the door. The lights behind her were low. She wore a black dress with a scooped front. Her hair was pinned back. Myron liked that. Most men, they liked it when the hair came down. Myron had always been a fan of keeping it off the face . He stared at her for another moment and then said, Whoa . I thought you said you were smooth . I 'm holding back . But why?If I go all out in the smooth department, Myron said, women all over the tri-state area begin to disrobe. I need to harness the power . Lucky for me then. Come on in . He had never made it past her foyer before. Ali walked to the kitchen. His stomach knotted. There were family photographs on the wall. Myron did a quick scan. He spotted Kevin's face. He was in at least four different photographs. Myron didn't want to stare, but his gaze got caught on an image of Erin. She was fishing with her dad. Her smile was heartbreaking. Myron tried to picture the girl in his bas e ment smiling like that, but it wouldn't hold . He looked back at Ali. Something crossed her face . Myron sniffed the air. What are you cooking?I'm making Chicken Kiev . Smells great . You mind if we talk first?Sure . They headed into the den. Myron tried to keep his head about him. He looked around for more pictures. There was a framed wedding photo. Ali's hair was too big, he thought, but maybe that was the look then. He thought that she was prettier now. That happens with some women. There was also a photograph of five men in matching black tuxedos with bow ties. The groomsmen, Myron figured. Ali followed his gaze. She walked over and picked up the group shot . This one is Kevin's brother, she said, pointing to the man second on the right . Myron nodded . The other men worked at Carson Wilkie with Kevin. They were his best friends . Myron said, Were they All dead, she said. All married, all had children . The elephant in the room it was as if all hands and fingers were suddenly pointing at it . You don't have to do this, Myron said . Yeah, Myron, I do . They sat down . When Claire first set us up, she began, I told her that you'd have to raise the subject of 9/11. Did she tell you that?Yes . But you didn't . He opened his mouth, closed it, tried again. How was I supposed to do that exactly? Hi, how are you, I hear you're a 9/11 widow, do you want Italian or maybe Chinese?Ali nodded. Fair enough . There was a grandfather clock in the corner, a huge ornate thing. It chose then to start chiming. Myron wondered where Ali had gotten it, where she had gotten everything in this house, how much of Kevin was watching them now, in this house, in his house . Kevin and I started dating when we were juniors in high school. We decided to take time off during our freshman year of college. I was going to NYU. He would be off at Wharton. It would be the mature thing to do. But when we came home for Thanksgiving, and we saw each other . . . She shrugged. I've never been with another man. Ever. There, I said it. I don't know if we did it right or wrong. Isn't that weird? I think we sorta learned together . Myron sat there. She was no more than a foot away from him. He wasn't sure of the right move here the story of his life. He put his hand close to hers. She picked it up and held it . I don't know when I first realized I was ready to start dating. It took me longer than most of the widows. We talk about it, of course the widows, I mean. We talk a lot. But one day I just said to myself, okay, now maybe it's time. I told Claire. And when she suggested you, do you know what I thought?Myron shook his head . He's out of my league, but maybe this will be fun. I thought this is going to sound stupid and please remember I really didn't know you at all that you'd be a good transition . Transition?You know what I mean. You were a pro athlete. You probably had a lot of women. I thought maybe, well, it would be a fun fling. A physical thing. And then, afterwards, maybe I'd find someone nice. Does that make sense?I think so, Myron said. You just wanted me for my body . Pretty much, yeah . I feel so cheap, he said. Or is it thrilled? Let's go with thrilled . That made her smile. Please don't take offense . No offense taken. Then: Hussy . She laughed. The sound was melodic . So what happened to your plan? he asked . You weren't what I expected . That a good thing or bad?I don't know. You used to date Jessica Culver. I read that in a People magazine . I did . Was it serious?Yes . She's a great writer . Myron nodded . She's also stunning . You're stunning . Not like that . He was going to argue, but he knew that it would sound too patronizing . When you asked me out, I figured that you were looking for something, I don't know, different . Different how? he asked . Being a 9/11 widow, she said. The truth is, and I hate to admit this, but it gives me something of a warped celebrity . He did know. He thought about what Win had said, about that first thing that pops in your head when you hear her name . So I figured again not knowing you, just knowing that you were this good-looking pro athlete who dates women who look like supermodels I figured that I might be an interesting notch on the belt . Because you were a 9/11 widow?Yes . That's pretty sick . Not really . How's that?It's like I said. There's a weird sort of celebrity attached. People who wouldn't give me the time of day suddenly wanted to meet me. It still happens. About a month ago, I started playing in this new tennis league at the Racket Club. One of the women this rich snob who wouldn't let me cut through her yard when we first moved to town comes up to me and she's making the poo-poo face . The poo-poo face?That's what I call it. The poo-poo face. It looks like this . A li demonstrated. She pursed her lips, frowned, and batted her eyes . You look like Donald Trump being sprayed with mace . That's the poo-poo face. I get it all the time since Kevin died. I don't blame anyone. It's natural. But this woman with the poo-poo face comes up to me and she takes both of my hands in hers and looks me in the eyes and has this whole earnest thing going on so that I want to scream, and she says, 'Are you Ali Wilder? Oh, I so wanted to contact you. How are you doing?' You get the point . I do . She looked at him . What?You've turned into the dating version of the poo-poo face . I 'm not sure I follow . You keep telling me I'm beautiful . You are . You met me three times when I was married . Myron said nothing . Did you think I was beautiful then?I try not to think that way about married women . Do you even remember meeting me?Not really, no . A nd if I looked like Jessica Culver, even if I were married, you'd have remembered . She waited . What do you want me to say here, Ali?Nothing. But it's time to stop treating me like the poo-poo face. It doesn't matter why you first started dating me. It matters why you're here now . Can I do that?Do what?Can I tell you why I'm here now?Ali swallowed and for the first time she looked unsure of herself. She made a go-ahead gesture with her hand . He dove in. I'm here because I really like you because I may b e confused about a lot of things and maybe you're making a good point about the poo-poo face, but the fact is, I'm here right now because I can't stop thinking about you. I think about you all the time and when I do, I have this goofy smile on my face. It looks like this. Now it was his turn to demonstrate. So that's why I'm here, okay?That, Ali said, trying to hold back a smile, is a really good answer . He was about to crack wise, but he held back. With maturity comes restraint . Myron?Yes?I want you to kiss me. I want you to hold me. I want you to take me upstairs and make love to me. I want you to do it with no expectations
because I don't have any. I could dump you tomorrow and you could dump me. It doesn't matter. But I'm not fragile. I'm not going to describe the hell of the past five years, but I'm stronger than you'll ever know. If this relationship continues after tonight, you're the one who'll have to be strong, not me. This is a no-obligation offer. I know how valiant and noble you want to be. But I don't want that. All I want tonight is you . A li leaned toward him and kissed him on the lips. First gently then with more hunger. Myron felt a surge go through him . She kissed him again. And Myron felt lost . A n hour later or maybe it was only twenty minutes Myron co l lapsed and rolled onto his back . Well? Ali said . Wow . Tell me more . Let me catch my breath . A li laughed, snuggled closer . My limbs, he said. I can't feel my limbs . Not a thing?A little tingle maybe . Not so little. And you were pretty good yourself . A s Woody Allen once said, I practice a lot when I'm alone . She put her head on his chest. His racing heart started to slow. He stared at the ceiling . Myron?Yes . He'll never leave my life. He'll never leave Erin and Jack either . I know . Most men can't handle that . I don't know if I can either . She looked at him and smiled . What?You're being honest, she said. I like that . No more poo-poo face?Oh, I wiped that off twenty minutes ago . He pursed his lips, frowned, and batted his eyes. But wait, it's back . She put her head back on his chest . Myron?Yes?He'll never leave my life, she said. But he's not here now. Right now I think it's just the two of us.