On the Loose (A Katie Parker Production)

by Jenny B. Jones

  The doorbell announces Sam’s arrival, and Maxine gives herself one final look-over. “If I do say so myself, I’ve still got it.”

  “Brain rot?”

  “Good looks. Now be a dear and go downstairs with me.” The beauty queen makes a grab for my hand and hoists me off my bed. “Now, you go first, and when you get down there, I want you to call me down to dinner.”

  I look at my foster grandmother like she’s crazy. It’s a facial expression I’ve come to call “The Maxine.”

  She grits her teeth and pushes me towards the stairs. “Just do it.”

  When my feet hit the last step, I make sure everyone, including Sam, is in the kitchen.

  My eyes nearly roll back into my head. “Hey, Maxine,” I droll.

  From the top of the stairs comes a loud throat clearing.

  “Oh, Maxine, if you would be so kind as to grace us with your stunningly beautiful presence, I do believe it’s time for dinner.” I smile at James, but he only shakes his head.

  With all the expertise of a practiced Vegas showgirl, Maxine floats down the stairs, her pink spike heels leading the way. “Oh, did you call? I was just upstairs doing a little light reading.” Her eyes meet Sam’s. “I just finished reading The Iliad and The Odyssey. I so enjoy a good book when I have a free moment.”

  James puts a hand on my shoulder and murmurs near my ear. “Maybe she could shovel out some of the manure in here—when she’s done reading her classics.”

  “Maxine, you look lovely,” Sam says in reverent awe. “And that dress . . . It makes you look like Penelope.”

  Maxine scowls. “Who in the world is Penelope?”

  “It’s Odysseus’s wife.” Millie says tightly.

  With a shrug, Maxine enters the kitchen. “I must’ve skipped that page.”

  There is a moment of awkward silence in which no one knows what to do. Since they’re outed, can Sam hug his girlfriend? Does Millie use this time to tell Sam how disappointed she is in her theater caretaker? Should James ask Sam what his intentions are?

  “Frances asked a boy out today.”

  I’m sorry. The tension was getting to me.

  I explain the story in detail as we move to the dining room, a room that is rarely used around here.

  The table is set with brown tapestry placemats and fine china. The Scotts didn’t break out the china when I came to live with them. In fact, I think they hid it.

  “If everyone will take their seats, I’ll serve dinner.” Millie wipes her hands on a towel. “Katie, could you help me in the kitchen?”

  Maxine pulls on her ear. What does that mean? She didn’t go over that one.

  “Um, sure, Millie. I’ll be right there.”

  Sam pulls out a chair for Maxine, seating her to my left.

  “What’s the ear tug?” I whisper.

  She takes a gulp of water, leans over and crunches ice near my cheek. “It means if you leave me alone for too long you will wake up tomorrow with all your bras in the freezer.”

  I think about this for a moment. “I’ll be quick.”

  Following Millie into the kitchen, I grab dishes like I’m a server at Applebee’s. In my right arm I balance a basket of bread, a giant salad bowl, and two bottles of salad dressing. My left arm cradles a bowl of steaming hot French green beans and an overly full serving dish of corn. I want to ask Millie the hundreds of questions I have for her, but I don’t.

  “Katie, what are you doing? I didn’t mean for you to bring in everything.” Millie’s voice is all concerned, but her face says Girl, if you drop my dinner, you will be eating off-brand cereal for the next month.

  Channeling my inner Cirque du Soleil acrobat, I manage to race back to the dining room without losing a single bean. Behind me Millie carries a platter of roast beef.

  I still marvel at the food in this house. Growing up with my mom, a gourmet dinner consisted of one of those discount frozen dinners. You know, one of those entrees that was covered in gravy, consisted of four thousand calories, and tasted like Alpo.

  But Millie cooks like Martha Stewart. When she’s not helping out at the church or the Valiant Theater (or dodging my questions), Millie watches the Food Channel in her spare time. I personally find watching cooking shows about as interesting as watching C-SPAN, but James and I both reap the benefits of Millie’s odd viewing habits.

  “Let’s pray.” James clears his throat and opens his mouth to begin grace.

  “I’ll do it.” All eyes shift to Millie. “I’ll pray tonight.”

  No one dares to argue. Maxine elbows me beneath the table.

  “Our gracious, Heavenly Father. Lord, thank you for this meal. Thank you for this time together. We are grateful for safety, food, and . . . the opportunity to live an honest life in this great country. Lord, we ask that you forgive our sins. Every single one of them. We pray your Holy Spirit would burden our hearts with the need for honesty, and that we would always come to this table and to you with clean hearts. Dear God, we ask you convict us of—”

  “Dear Lord, this is Maxine talking.” My head snaps up as my tablemate interrupts. “Father, you and I go way back. Let’s face it. I’ve known you longer than . . . others here. God, I pray you would remind us of your command to honor our parents. Teach us to honor our elders with respect and all the reverence they are due. Lord, I have been maligned lately and—”

  Millie butts in, her voice strong and loud. “God, I pray you would give us discernment. Because Lord we all know we are to honor Biblical truths and not parental truths. Now Jesus, you understand hurt. And you tell us you hurt when we hurt, so Lord, I know you carry a daughter’s burden. You know how a child of God would feel if her mother was answering clandestine birdcalls in the woods. Hidden by the shrubs and—”

  “Enough!” James waits until he has every eye on him. “You two should be ashamed of yourselves. This is a time of prayer. This is not how we talk to God and ask him to bless our food. Is this the godly example you want Katie to witness?”

  The ladies drop their heads, leaving James, Sam, and I to stare at one another. We all share an eye roll and then James continues.

  “I will now say grace. And then we will discuss this issue like adults. Godly adults.”

  James prays over our food, and we hesitantly begin dinner. Almost wordlessly dishes are passed and food is served.

  “I would like to say something.” Sam’s deep voice is like a bullhorn amidst the near silence.

  Millie opens her mouth, but James rests his hand on hers, halting any interruption.

  “Millie, I know you’ve been avoiding the theater lately, so I think it’s time you heard my heart. And then you can decide if you want me to remain as caretaker of the Valiant or not.” Sam tips back his water glass like he’s trying to sip out courage. “I have loved your mother for quite some time now. Even before she knew I existed. She is a woman full of life, faith, and integrity.”

  Millie crosses her arms and snorts.

  “When your mother finally decided to honor me with her company, she thought it would be upsetting to you.”

  “Why? Why would I care if my mother was dating someone?”

  Sam shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Well, I asked Maxine that many times myself. I, uh, believe she felt like she was protecting you. She’s never dated anyone since your father died.”

  “That was fifteen years ago.” Millie says.

  Sam tugs at his shirt collar. “Yes. Well, you don’t have to tell me that. Maxine, would you like to shed some light on this?”

  Maxine helps herself to her third serving of roast beef. “Nah. You’re doing good, sweetie. Keep going.” She smacks her red lips. “Katie, hand me the gravy bowl.”

  Sam’s helpless looks are lost on Maxine. “So, ahem, as I was saying. Your mother felt it was in your best interests if we did not socialize in public and if we didn’t tell you of our, um, friendship.”

  “Friendship?” Millie repeats.

  “Fine.” My foster grandmot
her waves a hand. “Our smokin’ hot love connection.” Sam refills his water glass. Twice. “Millie, I want to make it very clear.” He sends Maxine a dagger-like glance. “That your mother and I have acted honorably and godly.”

  “Yes, fine, so back to why you two couldn’t bother to tell anyone about your relationship?” Millie rubs her forehead like it hurts to sort it all out.

  Don’t try to make sense of it, Millie, I want to say. Maxine defies logic. She’s the cost of gasoline. There’s no explaining it. You just try and survive it.

  Maxine runs a hand through her hair. Her elbow jabs my side. Again. I’m so enthralled in this mess, I completely ignore her. I had no idea normal families had crazy fights too. This is awesome. This argument sounds like it’s straight from my old trailer park.

  “Oh, for crying out loud, Millie.” Maxine sticks her thumb in my direction. “You had a new child in your house. Then there was that fiasco with trying to track down Amy a few months ago. You should be thanking me instead of spitting in my mashed potatoes. I was only thinking of you. Trying to protect you.”

  “Maybe we should just move on from here.” James uses his most preachery voice.

  “Oh, eat your corn, James. Sam and my mother owe us an apology.”

  I flinch as Maxine waves her hand in front of my face. “I’m picking my teeth,” she says slowly.

  “Then get a toothpick.” I shoo her hand away.

  “Maxine, your daughter is right. We owe this family an apology. We should have trusted them to want us to be happy. You and I should have been open and honest about all of this . . . Maxine?”

  “Oh, all right! Fine. I’m sorry.” Maxine throws down her napkin. “I’m sorry, Millie, I am. I do worry about you, though. The last thing I want to do is stress you out even more. I know I can sometimes be a small source of concern anyway.”

  James and I lock eyes and share a small grin. Maxine has been known to ride her bicycle into chicken trucks. People in town call her Mad Maxine. She is no small source of concern. She’s a natural disaster. She makes global warming look insignificant.

  “Mom, I want you to be happy. What kind of daughter would I be if I didn’t want that for you? I feel like you don’t even know me if you think I couldn’t handle the idea of you and Sam together.”

  Maxine stretches her arm across the table and interlocks her hand with Millie’s. “Aw, sweetie, I know this is going to come as a surprise, but sometimes . . . I don’t do the right thing.”

  James’s body convulses in coughs. I look to the ceiling and wait for lightning to strike.

  “I made a mistake, and I’m sorry. Sam and I are both sorry. But we would like to begin dating again with your blessing.”

  Millie’s face softens. “Of course you have my blessing. I love you.”

  Rising from her chair, Millie wraps her arms around her mom and kisses her on the cheek. I guess that’s the difference between this family and where I come from. In this instance we have a happy ending. In my family this evening probably would’ve ended in yelling, a few beer cans thrown, and my mom slamming the door on her way out for more cigs.

  “Who’s ready for dessert? We have apple pie tonight—with your choice of whipped cream or ice cream.” Millie, now a paragon of peacefulness, backs her way toward the kitchen, taking everyone’s orders.

  I push away from the table. “I’m stuffed. I think I’ll get dessert later.” Frankly, I need a break from these loons.

  “I’m going to wait on pie too.” James stands next to his chair and points at me. “Why don’t you and I go outside for a bit?”

  “Why? Is there going to be more hugging?”

  James shrugs. “Probably.” His hand disappears into his shirt pocket only to come right back out. With car keys. “Tonight we’re going to start your first driving lesson.”

  Chapter 13

  Driving? Now?

  I swallow. “Tonight? But it’s late! It’s dark!”

  “The sun hasn’t even set yet. Come on. Driving lesson number one begins in two minutes.”

  I do not return James’s big grin. I don’t want to drive. I’m perfectly happy being chauffeured by Frances right now.

  “You’re never gonna catch a dude if you can’t even get a driver’s license,” Maxine drawls.

  I snatch the keys and walk out the front door to the family sedan. With much grumbling I open the car and climb in. James sticks his head in the other side.

  “Hey, Katie?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You’re on the wrong side. The driver’s side is over here.”

  “I thought I would just take notes tonight.” I tap my head. “Mental notes. You know, study the road.” I gesture to the steering wheel. “Go ahead. Get in.”

  “That’s not how it works.” James holds the driver’s side door open and stands there patiently. Tapping his foot.

  “Oh, you wanted me to drive tonight. As in take the wheel. Master the road. Sorry, I guess we have different approaches to learning. See, I prefer to observe, James. I feel that much can be gleaned from—”

  “Katie?”

  “Yes?”

  “Get in this seat.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  After we are both buckled in and I’ve adjusted the rearview mirror a half dozen times, I put the keys in the ignition. The car roars in response.

  “Is the car always that loud? Maybe something’s wrong with it. We should probably try this some other time.”

  “So the left pedal is the brake. Put your right foot on it.”

  All out of stalling tactics, I obey.

  “Now the other pedal is the gas, of course. I want you to put the car in reverse, keeping your foot on the brake. When I tell you to, you’re going to give it a little gas.”

  “Maybe we should let Maxine try this. She’s good at giving a little gas.”

  James barely cracks a smile at my attempt at levity. He’s in teacher mode and nothing is going to interfere. “Got it in reverse? Now slowly let your foot off the brake and then lightly touch the gas pedal. With that same foot, Katie.”

  I have two feet! Why can’t I use both of them? What’s my other foot supposed to do? Just hang out? Maybe when I’m really good I can rest it on the dash.

  “There now, you’re backing out. Good job. Turn the wheel slightly. Check your rearview mirror and see how you’re doing. Keep turning. Great.” James smiles and pats me on the back.

  I jerk back. Don’t touch me, man. I’m driving here. I’m driving! I navigate the car away from the house and down the long gravel driveway. I guess this isn’t so bad. I hope I’m not speeding though. I check the speedometer.

  Five miles per hour.

  “You’re doing great. I knew you’d be a pro at this. All right, now you’re going to take us out of the driveway. Slowly turn left.”

  The wheel slips out of my hand, and I jerk it back. The car lurches my way and gravel flies everywhere.

  “Easy there. You’re doing fine. Just straighten it up a bit.”

  My foot slips off the gas. I look down to make sure I’m putting it back on the right pedal.

  “Katie, watch where you’re going.” James grabs the wheel and steers us back toward the right side of the road. “Much better. Okay, now you’re going to drive us down Smith Street here. Use the blinker. This is a smooth road. Very little traffic.”

  My hands relax on the steering wheel, and I ease back into the seat a bit. I can do this. I’m actually driving.

  I drive us up and down some streets, using my blinker with skill and precision. Well, actually I use the windshield wipers with skill. I have yet to find the blinker on the first try. But our windshield is nice and clean.

  The sun rests at the bottom of the horizon, ready to let the moon take over. The In Between sky around me is a springtime mix of violets and blues.

  “Super job, Kiddo. I suppose we better wheel her on back home. Why don’t we try one last challenge before we go. See that driveway on up there with the gn
omes around it?”

  I nod my head and study the circular drive at the end of the road.

  “I want you to pull into that drive and back out of it. Think you can handle that?”

  I smile, now more confident with this driving business. “Sure.” Besides, what’s the worst that could happen? I take out a few gnomes and their property value goes up?

  I drive slowly toward our destination. Feeling brave, I reach over and turn on some driving tunes.

  “Katie, there’s something I want to talk to you about before we head back.” James lowers the volume. “Lighten up on the gas there. Good. Now you’re going to ease into the driveway.”

  My hair hangs loose in my face, and I shove it behind my ears. I think I could do this driving stuff. If I never went any direction but forward.

  I check my side mirrors to make sure I’m not destroying any tacky ceramic elves. Turning the wheel slightly I maneuver the car into the driveway. Just about got it. There. I’m in! I did it!

  “Nice work, Katie. Now back out of the drive. Bring the car back onto the road. Katie . . . you know how Millie and I have been going to all of these appointments lately?”

  “Uh-huh.” My focus on the road is like a sniper on his prey. I am relentless. My efficiency knows no bounds. James’s voice is barely a buzz in my ear.

  “Millie and I have been talking to some doctors, you know. Had quite a few tests.”

  Just a bit more and I’m in the road. Nothing’s coming. Side mirror check—all clear. Rearview mirror check—excellent. Here I go, ready to get back on the street. Just gonna reach for the gear shift and get ready to put it in drive. I’ll put my foot on the brake and . . .

  What? What did he just say?

  “. . . so while the news isn’t the best, we are hopeful, Katie. We know God’s in control.” James’s eyes are intent on mine. “Are you okay with this? Do you have any questions?”

  The houses around me become a blur as I focus on my foster dad. “What did you just say?”

  He clears his throat. “I said Millie has cancer.”

  My head explodes. Or maybe it’s my heart. Suddenly I feel nauseous and trapped. Trapped in this car. Must get us back home. No. This is not happening.