Promised to the Crusader

by Anne Herries

When they arrived in the inner bailey at the castle, Philip dismounted and came to help her down. His hands lingered on her waist too long, but she was too numb to push them away. She gave him a brave, pitiful smile and his hands fell away.

  ‘I pray that the fellow still lives,’ he said. ‘Come, Elaine, I shall show you the way.’

  She followed him into the castle. they turned towards the north tower and Philip led the way up to a small room at the top of the turret. He knocked and Anne’s voice called out that they might enter. Philip stood aside and allowed Elaine to go in. Anne turned, smiled, put a finger to her lips and beckoned her to the sick man’s bedside.

  ‘He is very ill, but he wishes to speak with you.’

  As Elaine reached the bed, the soldier opened his eyes. She knew him as one of Zander’s men and her heart lurched.

  ‘My lady, forgive me,’ he cried out and his face twisted with pain. ‘My lord sent me to tell you we were betrayed and attacked.’

  ‘You tried to bring me this message?’

  ‘I was only slightly wounded in the attack, but as I rode towards Sweetbriars, I was shot down by an arrow in the shoulder. I fell from my horse and would have died had not a cottager taken me in. I lay for weeks between life and death—and then, as I was beginning to recover, Lord Stornway came and brought me here. Forgive me…’

  Elaine put a hand to his fevered brow. ‘You need no forgiveness, sir. You did your best and it was the hand of an assassin that brought you down.’

  ‘Aye, my lady. We were set upon without warning. My Lord Zander cried that we had been lured into a trap. We fought hard, but when he saw that the numbers were too great, he sent me to tell you…’ The soldier broke down, tears streaming down his cheek. ‘As I rode away, I saw…I saw…’

  ‘What did you see?’ Elaine’s heart felt as if it was being crushed.

  ‘I saw my lord dragged from his horse and…’ He shook his head. ‘I do not know…but he is either taken or dead.’

  Elaine turned away as the pain swept through her. It was more than she could bear. In her mind she could see Zander being hacked to pieces by the assassins’ swords.

  ‘No…’ she whispered and then the chamber began to whirl about her. Her head was spinning and the darkness started to close in around her.

  ‘Catch her, Philip,’ Anne cried and that was the last thing Elaine heard before the blackness took over.

  The blackness gave way to flashes of light and pain. She suffered terrible dreams in which she wandered in thick mists searching for her love. Lost and alone, she traversed thick forests, dark mountainsides and then saw again the lake with the island shrouded in mist in the centre of the deep water. The water looked black and she could see no way across until a small boat came towards her. An old man dressed in black, a hood covering his face and head, rowed the shallow boat.

  ‘Give me a coin and I will row you to the Isle of the Forgotten,’ he said and held out a hand. His fingers were bones and had no flesh. ‘You shall join he whom you seek in death…’

  Elaine screamed and sat upright. Her eyes were open but she was still caught fast in her dream. ‘No…not dead…not dead…’ she cried out. ‘I pray you, sir…take me to him…not dead…’

  ‘Hush, sweet lady,’ a voice said close to her ear. ‘You must not grieve so. I am here to care for you. I shall always love and care for you.’

  ‘She is caught in her fever. She cannot hear you,’ another voice said. ‘I warned you what might happen…’

  ‘You can make her better. Do this for me, Anne. I beg you, as your brother. You had your revenge. Now give me my heart’s desire.’

  Elaine did not hear what the woman’s reply was, for she had sunk back into her fever. Now she was dreaming of another time and another place. She saw Zander walking towards her and he was as he had been before he went to the wars. He was smiling, happy and free of care.

  ‘Do not fear, my love,’ he told her and held out his hands to her. ‘I am waiting for you. I shall be here when you cross over. Come to me, my darling. I am waiting for you.’

  ‘I am coming, Zander. Wait for me…show me the way…’

  ‘No! Elaine, you cannot die. I shall not let you. I love you. I command you to live for me.’

  ‘Zander…I must go to Zander…he is waiting for me…’

  ‘No, he would not want you to die,’ the voice said. ‘He would think you a coward. Zander would say live. I say live for me. I love you, Elaine. I live only to serve you. Live and I shall protect you all my life.’

  ‘Philip…’ Elaine’s voice was barely a whisper as she looked at him. ‘Zander is dead?’

  ‘I fear it is so,’ he said and grasped her hands. ‘You must let him go, my darling. Soon you will feel better. Live for me and I promise I shall make you happy again.’

  She struggled to remember. ‘The soldier…’

  ‘I fear he died the same night you saw him.’

  ‘God rest his soul,’ she said and tears trickled down her cheek. ‘I know he did his best to reach me.’

  ‘Rest now, my darling. You must grow strong and well, and then I shall teach you to be happy again.’

  Elaine’s eyes closed. She slipped away into sleep. As she slept Zander’s name was on her lips and she whimpered sometimes, calling for him, but the nightmares had ceased. Her fever was done and now she slept the sleep of the exhausted.

  Several days passed before Elaine woke to see Anne bending over her. She had been bathing her face with cool water and Elaine had been conscious of the kindness before she woke.

  ‘Thank you,’ she said weakly. ‘You have been so kind to me. I think you saved my life.’

  ‘Perhaps,’ Anne said. ‘Philip watched you constantly. He has been called to a meeting, but will come to see you as soon as he returns.’

  ‘I fear I have been a deal of trouble to you?’

  ‘You are as a sister to me. My brother loves you. You must know that he wants only to devote his life to making you happy.’

  ‘Yes…so kind…’

  Elaine lay back and closed her eyes. She felt so weak and it was as if she had no will or strength of her own. Something at the back of her mind told her that things were not as they should be, but she could not recall what had worried her before…she was ill.

  She knew that Zander was dead. The soldier had seen him fall and in her dreams Elaine had seen him as a youth; he’d told her to come to him in death. She would have died if it had not been for Philip’s devotion and determination that she should live.

  Elaine did not care whether she lived or died. All emotion had drained out of her and she no longer had the will to do anything but as she was told.

  ‘You must eat some of this soup.’ Anne’s voice seemed to come from a long way off. Elaine tried to recall what her voice had said when she was ill, but she could not. ‘You must get better, Elaine. Philip loves you. You owe him your life. You must live for him.’

  Elaine was too weary to resist. Why did she want to live without Zander? Yet these people had been so good to her, fought so hard to save her. Perhaps she did owe them something.

  She sat up and swallowed some of the soup. Her throat hurt as she felt it go down, but it gave her a little strength.

  ‘Good, you are awake,’ a voice said from the doorway. Philip walked in. He presented her with a sprig of some winter flower with the dew still on it. ‘I picked this for you, Elaine, as I have very day since you were taken ill, but this is the first time you’ve known us.’

  ‘You are so kind…’

  ‘We care for you,’ Philip said and sat on the edge of her bed, reaching for her hand. ‘I love you, Elaine. When you are better I shall show you how much I love you…’

  Elaine smiled, but made no reply. How could she tell him that she did not want his love when he had saved her life?

  ‘So, you are almost better,’ Marion said as she entered the bedchamber the next morning. ‘You look rested, my lady. Lady Anne and Lord Stornway have saved your life.
’

  ‘Perhaps it might have been better had they let me die.’

  ‘Do not say such a thing!’ Marion scolded. ‘You are loved by many and your people need you. Lord Stornway loves you. He wishes only to care for you.’

  ‘I am Zander’s wife.’

  ‘His widow,’ Marion said. ‘You must face the truth, my lady. Lord Zander is dead. You must learn to live without him—for the sake of others, if not yourself.’

  ‘Do not scold me, Marion.’

  ‘Do you think I shall let you throw your life away? You are young and beautiful. Lord Zander should not have gone to fight a superior enemy. He should have put aside his desire for revenge and given his life to you and your people. If he loved you, he would have forgotten his need for revenge.’

  ‘Do not speak to me like that!’

  ‘I speak only the truth, my lady. You grieve for him, but when you are ready you will see the truth is as I say.’

  Elaine turned her face aside. How could Marion be so cruel? She had loved Bertrand—would she so easily find another lover in his place?

  ‘What of Bertrand?’

  ‘He has come back to me,’ Marion said. ‘He was Newark’s prisoner, but released after Lord Stornway demanded the release of all prisoners.’

  ‘Has he heard anything of Zander?’ Elaine asked eagerly.

  ‘Nothing. Your lord was slain and buried where he lay,’ Marion said. ‘I know you grieve, but you must learn to put your grief behind you, my lady.’

  ‘I am glad that Bertrand came back to you,’ Elaine said wearily. ‘You have my permission to wed him.’

  ‘Lord Stornway hath given us a few acres and a cottage of our own. I shall stay until you are well again and then I shall marry and leave you, my lady. You have good friends and other ladies to serve you.’

  ‘Yes, I knew you would leave me when you married.’

  Elaine turned her face to the pillow. Once she would have protested that Marion and Bertrand should stay with her, but now it no longer seemed to matter. Everything was too much trouble…

  ‘I am glad to see you so much better,’ Philip said on the morning that she came down to the hall for the first time. ‘At one time we feared we should lose you, but you are feeling more yourself now, I think—are you not?’ He was so anxious that Elaine smiled.

  ‘You have been very kind to me, sir.’

  ‘It is not kindness. I loved you the moment I saw you, but you were Zander’s. I knew you would not look at me, nor would I have tried to come between you. Now that you are alone and at the mercy of rogues, I know that Zander would want me to take care of you.’

  ‘I shall be able to go home soon,’ Elaine said, but she knew that without her husband she would be vulnerable and at the mercy of rogue barons, unless this man continued to offer her protection.

  ‘Yes, if you wish it,’ he said. ‘Yet I would ask you to stay for your own sake—and for mine. Be my wife, Elaine. I know you grieve for Zander, but in time you may learn to love me a little…it is all I ask…’

  Elaine caught her breath. ‘I was his true wife,’ she said. ‘The marriage was consummated, the law would not let me marry until I have proof that Zander is dead.’

  Something flickered in his eyes. ‘But he was called away because the village was attacked…’

  ‘Yet still he came to me,’ Elaine said, an instinct she hardly understood making her lie. ‘Ask my ladies, they will bear testament and tell you. I could not remarry without proof of my lord’s death—the Church would not allow it.’

  ‘Supposing his body cannot be found?’ Philip asked, an odd expression in his eyes. ‘Could you not claim that the marriage was not consummated and let me ask the Pope for an annulment?’

  ‘My ladies would know that I lied—and I am not ready to take another husband in Zander’s place.’ Elaine sighed and put a hand to her eyes. She still felt weak and it was hard to resist his will. ‘I am grateful for your kindness, sir. I shall never forget that you and Anne saved my life. Perhaps in a year or so…’

  Philip looked at her, such an intense expression in his eyes that she trembled. ‘If there were proof of Zander’s death…if we could gain the Church’s permission for our union, would you consider wedding me sooner?’ He reached out for her hands and held them. ‘I fear for you alone in your manor, Elaine. I think I must insist on your staying here as my ward until you feel able to marry.’

  Elaine blinked back her tears. It was the same old story—the same fear of her being forced to marry a rogue baron. Her uncle had given her until Christ’s Mass reluctantly. Now the feast was almost upon them and once again she was being pressed to marry.

  ‘You must give me a few months to think and grieve,’ she said. ‘Ask me again in the New Year and I may be able to think more clearly.’

  ‘You know I would love and honour you. I do not desire your lands, Elaine—though I shall force Newark to return them to you.’

  Elaine sighed, bowing her head. She was not strong enough to fight him. If Zander was dead, there was nothing to hope for in life. She must take what she could from it.

  ‘If there is proof and the Church will permit our wedding next spring, then I will wed you,’ she said. ‘There is no other I wish to marry, sir. If I must take a husband, I would as soon a friend than a stranger. I shall never cease to remember and to love Zander, but…’ She shook her head as the tears stung her eyes. ‘I can say no more…’

  ‘How can you provide proof of death without a body?’ Anne said. ‘It is not possible. I warned you that she would not be as easy to persuade as you thought.’

  ‘They told me that he was fatally injured in the attack. He could not have lived,’ Philip said and glared at her. ‘You promised me that I should have my heart’s desire if I gave you your revenge.’

  ‘I wanted him my prisoner so that I could tell him why he was going to die,’ she said and gave him a scornful look. ‘I wanted him to suffer and die slowly. He ought to have known why he was being punished. He killed the man I loved—the only man I ever loved.’

  ‘I gave you his gauntlet stained with blood. It has his crest embroidered upon it.’

  ‘Present that to her and hope that she will take it as proof.’

  ‘I was sure that he would not have time to consummate the marriage. Cardinal Woolston would have petitioned the Pope on my behalf and I might have secured an annulment by the spring. If she remains obstinate, it might be years before I can persuade both Elaine and the Church that she is free to marry again.’

  ‘Can you not provide a grave and pay one of your underlings to swear to it that he lies in it?’ Anne frowned. ‘As yet I am not certain whether to believe he is truly dead. Your men botched the deed, Philip.’ She looked scornful. ‘Had they brought him to me, as I desired, I would have guaranteed his death—as I did his messenger.’

  ‘I thought the messenger’s tale would be enough to convince her,’ Philip said. ‘While she was ill and under the influence of your drugs she seemed docile, but now her will seems stronger.’

  ‘Then drug her again,’ Anne said. ‘Arrange the marriage without her consent.’

  ‘She would hate me.’

  ‘Are you the King’s Marshal or a weak knave with no power?’ his sister demanded. ‘Gather evidence whether it be false or no. Present it to your tame cardinal and get your dispensation, then, if she still resists, drug her. I will give her something to make her forget. When she recovers you may tell her that she consented to the marriage.’

  Philip flinched from the scorn in his sister’s face. It was Anne who had plotted her revenge from the moment Zander killed her promised husband in single combat. It was she who had caused his father’s keep to be fired and she who had plotted to have Zander killed by poison. Zander had once been Philip’s true friend, but then something had happened to change his feelings—and now he’d seen Elaine—and Anne had whispered in his ear that they might both have what they wanted.

  Sometimes Philip wished he had not l
istened to her poison in his ear, but he wanted Elaine too much to resist his sister’s pleas to give her revenge. He had sent men to fire the village haystack and a false letter from Newark, sending Zander on a wild goose chase. Before he could reach Howarth Castle, he and his men had been set upon and overwhelmed. The men Philip had employed to carry out the evil deed were renegades, thieves and murderers, men who should have died on the gallows. He’d spared their lives and promised them gold when they brought him poof of Zander’s death.

  He’d hoped for a body, but all he had to show for his scheming was a bloodstained glove with Zander’s initials and his crest embroidered on the black velvet in gold thread. He’d given it to Anne as her proof, but even she had not been satisfied. Would Elaine believe that Zander was dead if he showed it to her?

  Supposing by some chance Zander had survived against the odds? The leader of the rogues he’d employed had told him that he saw Zander take a fatal blow and fall—but his men had immediately surrounded him and dragged him away into the forest.

  ‘They simply disappeared, my lord. We searched for them for two days, but no trace could be found. On the third day we caught his messenger and he was wounded, but not fatally. He escaped into the woods and we could not find him.’

  Philip had found the man lying near to death in a woodsman’s cottage and taken him to his castle. He’d been allowed to live long enough to tell his story to Elaine, but not long enough to remember the details more closely. Philip had believed she would accept Zander’s death and turn to him in her loneliness, but she was stubborn and would need more convincing.

  Philip had believed that Zander’s men had carried their lord’s dead body away. He’d hoped they might take it back to Sweetbriars, but it had not happened and now Philip began to wonder why.

  It was strange that Zander’s men had not taken the news of the attack back to the manor. He’d ordered that that they should all be slaughtered so that only one witness survived, but they had fought too well. Though some lay dead and were left to be buried by village folk, at least seven or eight had survived to carry off their lord’s body.

  So why had they not taken the news back to Zander’s wife?