Cougar

by Cougar (lit)

  John.

  Did his soul shriek I gave myself willingly and wholeheartedly to his brother?

  Even worse, did John know my Cougar chose Jackal?

  I had to believe I did the right thing.

  For John.

  For myself.

  And even Jackal seemed content.

  If I couldn't find positive points in my new state of marriage, I'd lose my mind. And the inability to rationalize in this world hinging upon the survival of the human race equated to the eradication of our species. I couldn't bear that planet-sized burden of guilt. Instead, I must focus on finding happiness. With Jackal. Reality, Goddess, or luck be damned. And the only way I can do anything to help save humanity from total annihilation is to move forward.

  Survive.

  Fight back.

  I am a woman who can give birth. And I am more importantly a Cougar-a thing the aliens need desperately. Why? For whatever reasons, I had to survive to use my Cougar for the greater good of humanity. Somehow. Even though nobody knew what a Cougar's power entailed. Somewhere down the road, I had to do something to make a difference. Or my life was a waste. And so was John's existence. He'd helped me survive this long. I had to hang on. With Jackal-my rope.

  My gut snarled.

  Survival meant finding food.

  Jackal's eyes popped open and met my gaze.

  Those green gems almost looked black in the waning light.

  His palm slid along my skin, easing down my lower back, then running back up my spine to my shoulder blade.

  Stroking me ever so gently.

  Mine, Cougar purred.

  Cougar needed to go to sleep.

  His hand froze. "I'm sorry, Sierra. I swore I'd never touch you until you asked. And here I am, breaking that promise." He wore the sweetest sincerest expression.

  That ruggedly beautiful face mesmerized me.

  To just sink into his beating heart.

  To feel even safer.

  What was wrong with that?

  It was Jackal's right to touch his mate. Especially after he made love to me when he could have just raped me. I'd had eight years of absolute lovemaking after my gang-rape experience to know I damned well preferred lovemaking. And Jackal saved me with the Prophets. "No, Jackal. I'm yours. You may touch me whenever you like." I matched his stare expecting an argument.

  He sucked in a sharp breath, his hand tracking back along its path with the lightest touch, to my lower back, where he gently pulled my groin into his hardening erection.

  Gods, the way he stared at me with his intense gaze made my nipples pinch. That only set off the needy tug between my clit and breast. The nagging cry of a body to mount one's mate.

  Oh to lean my taut nipples against the flat circles of his. To wrap my legs around that narrow waist and encourage him to roll me onto my back. I was so damned doomed in Jackal's arms.

  "Let's feed you," he said, rubbing the rise of my ass with a few wiggling fingers before shoving onto an elbow.

  Feed me, Cougar purred.

  He didn't mean with sex because he threw his feet to the dirt floor and turned his gorgeous back to me. All I could do was stare up at the iron displayed in the undulating musculature of his shoulders.

  He was strength. Power. Absolute control.

  Mine.

  Go to sleep, Cougar.

  But could I blame the cat? To sit up. Snake my arms around that chest and massage his bulging pectorals. To wrap my legs around his waist and press my aching groin into his back. To just hang on for one second and feel his strength seep into my soul. A woman didn't have to be a Rites-of-the-Goddess priestess to experience such luxury.

  He rose, lifting his rumpled camouflage pants, flaunting the rest of his amazing body at me.

  That perfect ass. The way his muscles made his thighs bow slightly. Jackal was hot as the Christians' sin. My sinful temptation. I was so damned wet it wasn't funny.

  He thrust his legs into his pants and turned, buttoning the waistband. "Come on, Sierra. We'll miss supper. We should be back inside our lodge by curfew to set a good example for the villagers."

  That meant sunset. And I didn't want to be the reason he missed a meal. I hopped out of bed, dressed, and found my comb in my backpack to straighten my loose messy hair.

  In the waning orange sunlight, he led me by the hand to a large open area ringed with lodges and filled with people seated on the ground, hunched over metal dishes. Many sat in groups. An adult male, female, and sometimes children. Families. Village life didn't change wherever a person ended up.

  Women young and old looked up at me as Jackal led me through the crowd. I didn't notice glances from men. They were either anything but curious about me or had noted I'd been taken off the marriage market. Or so Mother would have said.

  Jackal tugged my hand toward a table and a large pot. A few biscuits littered the bottom of a large flat basket.

  "What's for supper, Sue?" Jackal asked.

  Silver strands threaded through the short woman's long black hair that she'd pulled neatly back into a tidy braid. She shot Jackal a huge smile. Sue was one of the many unfortunate who had lost both eyeteeth. The gaping holes didn't stifle her enthusiasm. "Whatever you like, Jackal. And your mate as well." She eyeballed me.

  Jackal tugged me toward the long handle of a ladle Sue gripped. "This is Sierra, Sue."

  "Nice to meet you, Sierra." Sue grabbed a round camping tin plate and poured a scoop of brown lumps into the dish but never stopped smiling. "Aren't you a pretty thing?"

  I stepped next to the table and tried to think about something other than my annoying appearance. Being attractive just didn't do women any favors these days. "Thank you."

  Jackal halted with his knee pressed against the back of my thigh.

  Possessively. Not a bad touch given the stares we'd drawn. I focused on the orange lumps, undoubtedly carrots, in the brown gravy on my plate. "Beef?"

  "Pork today." Sue eased the ladle's handle back against the pot's rim and extended the plate with a nod to my right. "Help yourself to bread."

  Anything to get out from under the woman's scrutiny. "Thank you."

  Jackal left the dirty dishes. "Maybe you can show Sierra around the village soon. If you have time."

  So he wasn't going to be as helpful after the marking?

  "Of course. The women are anxious to meet her," Sue said.

  I bet.

  Within minutes, Jackal sat me back down inside our lodge at the table where I silently thanked the stewed pork for drawing him back to our little private space. Away from the nosy villagers.

  "Sue will talk your head off when she gets you away from everyone," Jackal dipped a biscuit into his gravy and took a bite, locking a concerned assessing gaze on me.

  Getting away from everyone with a strange woman wasn't at the top of my priorities at the moment. I'd rather stay with my mate. Just in case. If he was going to get killed, I didn't want to be left behind. Again. "So what do you have to do tomorrow?"

  His brow pinched slightly and he swallowed his bite of bread. "Probably spend the better part of the day listening to Tornado deal with village disputes." He studied me a few seconds. "You'll be fine with Sue."

  Right. Just like I was fine left at the tree house when John went to trade. I tried to feign interest in my food.

  "Sierra?"

  Hell. I met his concerned gaze. "Yes?"

  "You can stay with me tomorrow," he said softly.

  Could he read me that well? What if he could tell I was a Cougar just as easily? But that wasn't the reason he seemed so caring. I was his mate now. He'd drag me along with him if he chose to do so. Coddle me by the way he had behaved.

  Hopefully. Anyway, I nodded.

  My mind wouldn't let go of my new mate's compassionate scrutiny during our supper. He said very little with words but measured my sanity with those damned adoring eyes. Eyes that could squeeze a woman's breath into stinging tears. I wanted to dig a hole under the table and bury my traitor
ous self away from his unyielding gaze. Anything to save my self-respect from further irreparable damage.

  How could I fall so deeply under Jackal's spell a few days after John was taken from me? If I looked at Jackal, my tears would spill. I stared at the tip of the prongs on my fork resting in the brown gravy in my plate.

  He slid his pan and fork aside, across the table's rough-hewn surface. "You haven't eaten much."

  Who could with a gut full of guilt? I'd be fortunate to keep down what I'd managed to swallow.

  He sighed, rose, skirted the table, and placed a broad hand on my shoulder. "Come with me."

  What now? The sun had set. Darkness meant curfew. We couldn't go outside. Just what did he have in mind? I could trust him. At least enough to know he would make love to me if he chose to lead me to his bed. I shoved up from the table.

  He curled his fingers around mine and led me to the bed.

  Father, come save me with your logic. Help me remember who I am.

  Jackal descended to sit upon the bed's edge.

  The bed seemed awfully small now. Slightly wider than a person would need to sleep. Even a person of Jackal's over-sized stature. Not to mention, the bed had swallowed me earlier today.

  Jackal tugged my hand toward him. "I want to talk to you."

  On the bed? The bed led to more than talking?

  He pulled me down to where my thigh rested against his, and he lifted my chin with one of his fingers to match his gaze. "My mother cried for months after my father died. At night. When the fire burned itself down into embers. She thought I was asleep. Being five years of age, I should have been. But I worried about her. I hated listening to her sob." He scooped me up and placed me across his lap, forcing me to look into his insistent eyes again.

  "She suffered alone, Sierra. I swear you won't. Cry. Scream. Claw my skin off. I'd even say rip out my hair, but they make me shave my head. Just let me help you." His forehead dipped until delicately touching mine, leaving his sympathetic gaze but an inch away.

  Oh the tenderness in his face.

  Molten tears choked up to fry the back of my nose.

  How was I to fight such a barrage of emotion?

  Nor did I deserve such a devoted mate.

  Really. I didn't have any business with another one so soon after John's passing. "Take care, Jackal. I hadn't realized how easily my interests swayed until recently. I am weak. Uncaring. And I could forget you in the amount of time it takes to bat my eyelashes."

  He scoffed. "No. You haven't forgotten Rattler." He grabbed my cheeks in his warm firm palms. "If you had, you wouldn't be crying. You haven't done anything wrong, Kitten."

  Was I actually crying for John?

  The way Jackal rubbed my warm tears into coolness upon my cheeks with the pads of his thumbs proved the heat in my eyes bled from my body. Why couldn't he just rip off my clothes and rub those strong palms over every inch of my flesh?

  Make me forget again.

  His hands slid to cup the back of my skull as his stubbled cheek grazed mine, allowing his cheek to scrape toward my ear. "Cry for him, Sierra." His hot breath warmed my ear.

  His fingers massaged my scalp. "Cry for him. I'll hold you."

  My tears flooded.

  Chapter Seven

  Staring at the faint shadows on the ceiling above his bed about an hour before sunrise, Jackal rested with his sleeping mate's light weight draped across his chest. I hadn't erred, had I? I couldn't have. But she had needed to cry. She needed me to make her cry.

  Her limp arms had slipped between his and his body after she crashed into a solid sleep from crying. But she had cried out her pain. Finally. Now, she slept off some of her grief. At least, we hadn't undressed. Her skin pressing against mine would have made holding her torture. Either way, finally having a woman in my bed felt good. As if Sierra being here was always meant to be.

  She snuggled her cheek deeper into my heart.

  That's how I wanted her.

  Close.

  Right where I could keep my eye on her.

  To respect my brother's wishes.

  Yet, I couldn't find where his wishes ended and my mating interests took over. The shifting bond had muddied the separation. And all I could think about was holding her. Comforting her. Ramming inside her wet heat. The metallic tinge of her salty blood. But I wasn't an animal. I could control myself. I'd prove it.

  She stirred, lifting her head, turning to rest upon her other cheek right beneath my chin. Her blue gaze paused, connecting with mine.

  "What should we do today?" I asked.

  She sighed, pressing her cheek against my chest. "How many traders are here?"

  "Three. If you count the old coot with his still. He's a rich man out here in the middle of nowhere."

  "I don't need moonshine. What I need is something to keep me busy. Out in the forest, I hunted. They aren't going to let me hunt here, are they?"

  Not a woman who can help increase the population. Damn. I'd have to let her have one child, or Tornado would think I used the herbs on her. But I couldn't avoid one risky pregnancy.

  Still Tornado would never question my taking my mate hunting a few times. He'd know I always had her best interests in mind. "I'll take you out with me the next time I have to hunt for the community. For now, we'll see what the other two traders have. Ogden has quite a stock." I ran a palm from the crown of her head, across her shoulders, down the gentle curve of her back, to the silken ends of her hair fanning across her waistline.

  Or maybe it was time to ease into Sierra finding friends among the village's women. "Now, Sue knows everyone and can help you find something to do. If you like."

  "You promise to take me hunting?"

  Now a demand was a nice switch from cautious woman to comfortable demanding mate. Even though it would take a lot more evidence to believe Sierra was content. "I find it easier to hold myself to a promise than lie. You'll be safe with me."

  She chuckled.

  Laughter was good. But why? "So you find something entertaining?"

  "I'm not certain you understand. I can take care of myself hunting. But I'm absolutely certain neither you nor Tornado will ever believe me."

  Probably not. At least for me. A Shifter takes care of his mate. "I saw you shoot. In the dark. A weapon in both hands like both were an extension of your body. You can go hunting with me. Tornado knows I can protect you. I won't be leaving my mate behind if I decide you're going with me." Tornado would just have to humor me.

  She sucked in a deep breath and lifted her gaze to meet mine. "I understand." She blinked slowly, almost seductively, and planted her pointed chin into my chest.

  Her small heart-shaped mouth needed kissing.

  Her eyes almost twinkled in the faint glow from the crackling embers.

  Almost as if life flickered inside those sorrow-filled eyes. Not a bad thing to see in a mate. "What are you thinking, Kitten?"

  "You'd disobey Tornado for me?"

  If she only knew what I'd do to protect her. Tornado was a Shifter who understood Shifters and valued a man like myself working for him. "I work for him. He doesn't own me. And if he thinks I'm going to let him make decisions for my mate, he's got another thing coming. Don't worry, Kitten. He knows where my loyalties lie."

  * * * *

  So Jackal would defy orders for me, Sierra mused. I should have expected as much. "Have you ever refused to do anything he ordered before?"

  Jackal's palm slid to my neck where he wriggled his fingers under my hair and massaged my skin. "I agree with most of his choices. He's a tough bastard like in dealing with new women entering the village. But as for how he keeps the peace, he and I think a lot alike. You know, nobody's seen his mate's nude body."

  Good to hear. "Tornado has quite a reputation. It's a pity he's not as gentle in his approach as you are."

  Jackal's hand snaked down to my waist.

  My Cougar purred.

  The world suddenly spun. My back sank into the bedding beneat
h his magnificent weight, the breathtaking strength of him settling between my thighs. And I stared up into his dark eyes.

  Why wasn't he kissing me?

  He inhaled twice, pulling his hand out from underneath my body, watching me. "I don't think the other villagers fancy me as gentle the way you do. But I wouldn't want you to think I was an asshole. So, go ahead and call me sweet." He shot me a wink and levered off my body.

  Where was he going? I wanted those strong hands on me.

  Mine, Cougar snarled.

  He sauntered across the room, sinfully smoking hot. Or stalked. Either way, all I could do was watch his amazing body shift in the shadows.

  He tossed a log on the orange coals and kicked it around with his boot until the embers crackled with hungry flames.

  Feed me instead.

  Damn the marking. I couldn't go twenty-four hours without lusting after my mate. Since it wasn't my fault, rather the mating's doing, I sure wasn't going to feel guilty about those notions. No. Guilt would be my undoing. I'd just have to face the future. Live for John. He must have known how his father would handle my entering the community. How I'd be claimed, marked, and lusting after another Shifter within twenty-four hours of arriving at Death Summit. And death welcomed me wholeheartedly at the base of that mountain. I literally had died and was reborn. Through the marking.

  Jackal planted his hands on his hips and slid his gaze to mine.

  How would he react to an invitation? "Come back to bed."

  He studied me with golden firelight dancing in his eyes. "What do you want, Kitten?"

  "You. In bed with me."

  "Want to talk more?"

  Oh, he knew better by that sinful twinkling mischief in his eyes. "I'd rather you do something else with your mouth." Gods, did I blurt that?

  He sighed so loudly that I couldn't believe the flames almost six feet below him at his boots didn't sway from the blustery effort. He dropped his arms and covered the space between us in a heartbeat to yank off his boots.

  His understanding gaze never left mine. I threw my feet to the earthen floor and fumbled with my combat boots while he stripped out of his clothes.

  All of his clothes.

  My body was so thrilled my fingers barely cooperated with my tight bootlaces.