Pillar of Light (The Lost Princess Book 1)

by A. Mashburn

  Fucking minx, he thought.

  “Nicoli, are you fucking kidding me right now? I don’t care what whore you have in there; send her on her fucking way because you have a duty to Gretchen to keep her safe and we need to worry about what happened to her, instead of focusing on what’s between some slutty she-wolfs legs,” the woman prattled on in a frantic rage.

  That caught Gretchen’s attention and her hackles rose. Nicoli growled at the woman. “Gretchen is fine.”

  “She’s not fine—she’s missing, dip shit.”

  “You are so damned annoying sometimes. Gretchen is fine, and please for the love of the Goddess; Go the fuck home and trust me; she will be there later.” He eyed Gretchen hungrily, or tomorrow, he thought to himself.

  “What the hell is wrong with you?” the woman insisted.

  Nicoli tried to close the door, but she shoved her way through and looked around the apartment. As her eyes fell on Gretchen, her jaw hit the floor. Gretchen leaned over and grabbed her sweater from the floor. Nicoli watched her breasts sway with the motion as she put it back on. He couldn’t stop the feeling of disappointment that speared him as her flesh disappeared behind the fabric and groaned aloud.

  “Hi, Mo.” Gretchen waved at her friend, as she wiggled her fingers playfully. “Uhm, so apparently I’m the whore, keeping him from his duties.” Gretchen grinned widely at Mo, who at this point looked as though she might pass out.

  Damn it, Nicoli thought as he slammed the door. This is going to be the worst case of blue balls of my exceptionally long fucking life.

  Xander whimpered in the back of his mind in agreement.

  “What is going on?” Mo demanded while she looked between the two expectantly.

  “Wait, before we go any further,” Gretchen started, “Molly, how long have you known about me?”

  “Oh no, we’re not doing this.” She looked to Nicoli and speared him with a glare. “What the hell is going on?” she demanded again.

  Nicoli opened his mouth to answer but Gretchen was the one who spoke, catching Mo’s attention. “First of all, we’re consenting adults and it’s none of your business. Secondly, you will answer my question.”

  Molly looked to Nicoli, who nodded his approval before she admitted, “Since the day I met you.” Mo winced, knowing that Gretchen would be hurt.

  Gretchen stared at her friend like she had three heads. “Are you shitting me, Mo? Since I met you?” She raised her voice, anger flaring, “Well, at least you have the courtesy of looking guilty.” Gretchen crossed her arms and looked away, sounding lost for the first time since Nicoli told her everything. “My whole life has been a lie,” she said so low that it was only because of their heightened senses Mo and Nicoli heard her.

  Nicoli walked up behind Gretchen and engulfed her in his arms. “I’m so sorry Gretchen, I truly am. If there was another way to keep you safe, we didn’t have time to find it.” She looked into his eyes as he tilted her chin up. “Please, believe me; I will do everything in my power to make this right.”

  “I just, I’m trying to understand and let all this soak in. It seems like weeks, not hours since the forest.” She pulled away from him and instantly felt robbed of his heat but she needed space—she needed time. Unfortunately, it seemed like neither of those were on her side.

  She tried not to glare at her best friend but found it hard not to be angry with her. She just couldn’t imagine seeing someone nearly every single day for over a decade, looking in their eyes and keeping a secret like this; essentially lying on a daily basis.

  Mo sighed and her shoulders hunched in defeat, “Gretchen, I—”

  Gretchen put her hand up and effectively silenced her friend, “I just,” she looked between the two of them, “I need some fresh air.”

  Mo showed her the fire escape and told her where to go to get to the roof. Nicoli handed her a small blanket which she wrapped around her shoulders. Gretchen eyed them both as she stepped outside and walked up the stairs. She tried not to be jealous of the fact that Mo knew her way around Nicoli’s place so well.

  When she made it to the rooftop, Gretchen was in awe of the view. She could see what seemed to be the entirety of Bylorville from up there and was unsurprised by the great view of her balcony across the way. Gretchen shook her head and wondered how the hell it was just last night that she’d met with her boyfriend’s parents and had a panic attack. She still had no idea how she got home. Although now, with the crisp air entering her lungs, her head began to clear a little and she realized Nicoli probably played a large role in her being in bed that morning. She made a mental note to ask about it at some point. Right now, though, it just didn’t seem as important considering the newest information.

  It was a lot of information to digest and she felt so unbelievably alone in this. She thought about the events that transpired and brought her to the rooftop where she now stood as images of the day flew through her mind. She felt her cheeks heat at the memory of what had happened between her and Nicoli before Mo showed up.

  Nope, not going there, she thought to herself.

  He’s yummy, though, another voice said.

  Wait, what? Gretchen thought, not that she could disagree; but that was not her thought.

  No, it was mine. I’m Genesis, your lycan.

  Genesis? But Nicoli said you’re bound.

  I am, although not as tightly as I once was. I’m sorry I’ve been causing you pain trying to get free.

  You haven’t—Gretchen stopped short, as she remembered the headaches, anxiety, muscle pain, and even blackouts she’d experienced over the last few months.

  Yeah, Genesis hung her head in shame. It was strange because it was almost as though she could see her animal spirit, the shadowy silhouette of a white wolf in her mind looking towards the ground.

  You can see me? Genesis said, lifting her head.

  I think so, if I concentrate hard enough.

  Genesis pranced around as happiness filled Gretchen’s heart at the sight and feeling of her lycan inside her mind.

  I’m so sorry Gretchen, I really am, for all the trouble I’ve caused you. It’s all my fault. I know you don’t remember anything right now, but please don’t hate me when you do.

  Why would I hate you, Genesis?

  Because, all the pain, the binding, the loss, it’s all my fault and I couldn’t protect you. I should have protected you over anyone, but I couldn’t stand to see Xander in danger, Genesis pleaded.

  Genesis, Gretchen called her name to get her attention. I don’t remember, but I hear your words, and I know they come from your heart. I’m still not sure how all this works, but I’m happy you’re here. With you in my head, I feel almost, complete? I think that’s the right word. I don’t think I could ever hate you; you seem to be a part of me. So, if I hated you, I’d have to hate myself, and I don’t and won’t, okay? Also, if we put ourselves in danger to protect someone we love, we both did this. We are two sides to the same coin, love; we’re stuck with each other.

  Genesis yipped in agreement. I’m exhausted, Gretchen. I will try to talk to you again soon. I just wanted to let you know I was here; I’ve always been here, and you were never alone.

  Genesis faded into the recesses of her mind, and Gretchen began to cry silently. But, this time, she didn’t cry because she was overwhelmed. These tears were because Gretchen could feel another presence in her mind and her heart knew that was part of what she’d been missing over the years. She had always imagined her heart being comprised of multiple holes that would never be filled. One of them, a big one, had just filled itself with the introduction of her Lycan—her Genesis.

  Chapter Seven

  “Nicoli, she can’t stay up there forever. We have to go talk to her,” Mo said as she paced the floor, worried for Gretchen. Nicoli had just told her all that he’d explained to Gretchen and how she was handling it. “She is tough, but she is lost.”

  “That’s why we are going to Romania, Mo. The damn cat's out of the bag. It
’s only a matter of time before Jayce finds out she’s the female he has been tracking. The binding is keeping her moderately hidden but—”

  “But it won’t be enough to keep her hidden if he comes for her himself. I know. Let me go talk to her.”

  Nicoli eyed Mo wearily and she knew he wanted to be the one to go to her. “Is she your mate?” she asked tentatively.

  The deep breath he took shook Mo to the depths of her soul. “It’s complicated, Mo. I know how you feel about—”

  Mo sliced her hand through the air and sneered at him, “Don’t—do not patronize me, Nicoli and do not go there.”

  “Okay, I won’t. Gretchen doesn’t know about you, though. She won’t understand your part in this until you tell her—it’s your story to tell.” When he said this, the emotion that coursed through Mo’s veins caused tears to well in her eyes. He walked over to her and held out his arms. “Come here.”

  She placed her forehead to his chest as he hugged her and provided her with some much-needed comfort. “Do you think Gretchen will forgive me?” she asked hesitantly.

  “Aye, she will, go talk to her. I will stay down here for a time, to make sure both of you are safe.”

  Mo couldn’t help but scoff at him. “You know I could kick your winged ass, right?”

  He scoffed back, mocking her, “Whatever helps you feel better, Lizzy.”

  She rolled her eyes at the nickname, but the playful banter made her feel a little more normal. As she walked over to the window she took the stairs one step at a time with her heart in her throat.

  Once she got to her destination, Mo saw Gretchen’s face to the wind with her brilliant red hair swirling around her. Her eyes were closed as though she were focusing hard on whatever was going through her mind. She pulled the blanket that was wrapped around her shoulders a bit tighter, and a single tear rolled down her cheek as a smile teased the corner of her lips.

  “Hey, Mo.” Gretchen’s sudden awareness of her presence startled her.

  “Hey, Gretchen. Listen, I—" Mo started, but Gretchen turned to her and she was silenced by the profound happiness that reflected in her friend’s eyes.

  “Don’t—don’t apologize. Genesis and I had a little talk and she made me realize that no one is to blame for this but the men who started the war. I’m trying to understand and want to know everything; but it’s a lot, Mo. I think it’s best that we wait for my memory to come back, then you guys can fill in the blanks.” Mo smiled at her logic and nodded in understanding.

  “Sounds like a plan. The thing is though, I wasn’t there for the first part of your life. Our meeting wasn’t a planned thing and I wasn’t hired or expected to look after you—we just clicked.” Mo shrugged and turned her stare towards her shoes as if they were suddenly something remarkably interesting. “I can’t help you when it comes to your memories, but I can still keep you safe like I always have.”

  “So, if you’re not part of my parents plan for me to be safe, then why do it? I mean, this is pretty weird shit Mo, how did you handle it? Weren’t you afraid you were going to get hurt?”

  At that, Mo felt a grin spread across her face.

  There wasn’t a wolf alive that could hurt me, she inwardly flouted. “I’m a shifter as well, actually. I spent my life training to protect what is mine. There’s not a wolf alive that could take me out, aside from maybe yourself, once you’re all trained up.” The shocked look on Gretchen’s face lightened Mo’s worries just enough to ask, “Gretch, are you mad at me?” All at once, she felt warm arms wrap around her and Mo returned the embrace.

  Gretchen leaned back and looked into Mo’s eyes. “Of course I was mad at you, bitch. You’ve lied to me for years.”

  “I did not lie to—” Mo tried to defend herself.

  “Omission is just another form of lying Mo, remember telling me that?” Gretchen rolled her beautiful hazel eyes at her friend and shot Mo a half-smile to let her know that she wasn’t that mad.

  Mo tried to look away because ultimately Gretchen had been right and with that realization, Mo’s honor took a painful jab. “You’re right, you know. I didn’t have much of a choice, but I can’t tell you that you’re wrong,” she conceded.

  Gretchen squeezed Mo’s shoulders affectionately and explained, “Yet, I was wrong. We’re all victims of circumstance, and as shitty as it makes me feel, I have to love you for the fact you chose to stick by me. Not because you were honor-bound, but because you honestly do care for me.”

  And there it was, Mo could tell Gretchen how she really felt, or continue as it is and always had been. She leaned over and pulled Gretchen close. Tears brimmed Gretchen’s beautiful hazel eyes which shone with happiness and love.

  Mo cupped her cheeks, placed a small chaste kiss on Gretchen’s lips and pulled away. “I love you. I’d follow you to the ends of the earth if you asked me. But, until that day comes, just ask me the questions you want to ask.” And she did, but not the one Mo had anticipated.

  “I want to see your wolf,” Gretchen stated simply.

  Shock and horror must have shown on Mo’s face because Gretchen’s turned a beautiful shade of red. “What, is that so bad?” she laughed out right.

  “I am not a wolf.” Mo smiled affectionately at Gretchen and the confusion that was etched in her features.

  “What?”

  “There are other shifters, too; just as many kinds of different shifters as there are human races in the world. Some are more rare than others. Take a Pterolycus, for example. There are so few of you left that the only ones we know of are your parents, Nicoli and yourself.”

  She looked so shocked at this news, it was almost amusing to Mo. Then she asked, “Well, what are you?”

  Mo peered at her and frowned. “I know you don’t remember this but let me explain something about our kind. It’s not proper etiquette to ask a shifter what their animal counterpart is. It’s a very personal thing.”

  Gretchen’s eyes widened and her lips formed the perfect o and Mo laughed. “I’m not upset, Love, just keep that in mind when we meet others of our kind, ‘kay? Anyways, it won't matter once you’re unbound because you’ll have all your powers as a Pterolycus—you’ll be able to notice the subtle things about a shifter that gives away their animal counterpart.”

  “Okay, so is everyone in your family shifters?”

  “Yep, we are elite warriors of our kind, but kind of rare.”

  “Kind of rare is an understatement Mo and you know it,” Nicoli chimed in from behind.

  When the hell did he get here? Mo thought to herself.

  “Her family is the last known of their kind and very powerful, only second really to us.” Mo rolled her eyes at his comment. We are second to none but her and only because I would always make it so, she thought to herself as her animal counterpart chuffed in agreement.

  “Which is why she will be coming to Romania with us,” he concluded.

  Fucking wonderful. Not that I would have said no had they asked, but damn, it would have been nice to have been asked. Mo let out a low warning growl and he smirked.

  Nicoli peered at Mo with a grin plastered on his face. “Come on, you know you were going with us anyway. Like you would let Gretchen leave with only little ol’ me to protect her; you’re too prideful to allow that.”

  “That’s beside the point—some common courtesy would be nice,” Mo grumbled.

  Gretchen watched intently as the two interacted. “Okay, I’m going to need to get used to that growling thing. I can’t imagine how people don’t notice you are different if you go around growling at each other like this all the time.”

  Mo rolled her eyes as Nicoli shrugged and said, “They see what they want to and ignore or rationalize the rest. But it’s getting late and we should get you home; for real this time.”

  He grinned at Gretchen and Mo saw her blush from the roots of her hair to the tips of her ears. Damn, she’s freaking adorable, Mora, Mo’s animal counterpart, spoke within her mind.

 
“Fine.” Mo conceded, “but—I'm not flying in a plane. I’ll fly on my own and meet you there.”

  “You’re too fucking big to fly out of the city, Liz,” Nicoli said.

  Mo rolled her eyes at him. “Listen, pup, you act like this is my first rodeo. I’ll go to the mountains and leave from there. I won’t be caught in that flying death trap they call an airplane.” She crossed her arms and glared at him.

  “Wait, Liz? Why did he call you, Liz?” Gretchen asked with a look of confusion written all over her face.

  “Your boy toy—”

  “I’m not—”

  “He’s not—” they said simultaneously.

  Mo spoke over them, “Has a death wish is all and likes to compare me to a lizard.”

  Her face scrunched up as she asked, “You’re a reptile shifter?”

  Nicoli laughed joyfully at that, fucking bastard. “Kind of.” Mo shrugged. She’d never told anyone what kind of shifters her family were because of the danger they were in just by being alive. They were the last known keepers of the shifter race. They housed all the histories and were charged with the safety of all shifter kind.

  “Okay,” Mo said, taking charge. “I will take Gretchen home. We will pack and I’ll answer any questions she has.”

  “You’re coming too, right?” Gretchen looked at Nicoli hopefully and Mo’s stomach twisted. It was not in her nature to share what she viewed as hers, be it jewels or people. With that being said, she had to keep reminding Mora and herself that this particular person was not theirs to keep forever. She had a destiny that was far beyond their need for possession. Mora scoffed in Mo’s mind and she knew she would be unhappy with what she said next.