Twisted Secrets

by Ace Gray

  “Brye,” she cried and this time it was actual tears that accompanied my name.

  I almost paused, my mind knowing that I should, but something about how devastated she looked, about the whirling mess of emotion she was, spurred my body on. And despite whatever kind of asshole it made me, when a tear actually spilled down her cheek, I came.

  My body was a wind tunnel, everything whipping through me. Lust. Relief. Love. Fear. And falling. God, I was falling so hard for her. Falling at her feet and into the depths of her heart. Every muscle in my body was as taut as a bowstring, holding fast against the buffeting forces inside me and the complete empty of everything inside.

  When I finished, I was so unbelievably wrecked, I crash landed down on her. After only a few crazy breaths, I remembered her tears and shoved myself back up, folding my arms around her head as they were when we first started. My eyes darted back and forth across her face, watching the tears leak from the corners of her eyes slow and steady.

  “Filly…” I shifted just enough to wipe her tears away.

  Her hands flew to my sides though, keeping me rooted by the spots she’s marked up earlier.

  “Don’t.” Tears quivered on her words too. “Don’t leave me.”

  My body melted with those words and I hugged down to her, letting every inch of our bodies press against each other.

  “Did I hurt you?” I asked against her lips.

  “Just my heart.” Her body seized with a sob beneath me.

  “Shhhhh.” I nuzzled into her again, feeling a contentment I’d never known before. “I will protect your heart.”

  “You’ll stay?” she asked and though I’d never heard it before, I recognized what was underneath her question. Hope. “And not just tonight, but with me?”

  And the way she asked, I knew what promise she was asking of me. Her heartbeat seemed to beg it of me. Do. Not. Leave. Do. Not. Die.

  I wanted to tell her I could make that promise, but the life I’d lead up until this moment wouldn’t let me. I didn’t want to break the heart beneath me like that. I almost couldn’t imagine breaking mine like that now. She had changed me. She had taught me what love looked like and how it could feel. I wouldn’t take that lesson for granted.

  “I’m afraid. I’m afraid that’s not something I can promise.”

  She closed her eyes and let her arms snake around me, holding the weight of me even tighter to her body. When she spoke, it was with a beautifully warm and content voice on the edge of sleep.

  “No more fear, just fairy tales, okay?”

  Holy gods, he was better in bed than anything I’d dreamed of. He had skillz with a capital Z but what really made him amazing was what parts of him he showed to me.

  I had been right, he was made of the most beautiful brush strokes.

  And the way we painted together. H O L Y G O D S. Nothing in my life had been that good. Not the first time I saw a Van Gogh or shaped steel.

  But even when my world had come crashing down around me and my body disintegrated to dust, I couldn’t lose myself completely to it. All the pleasure wasn’t enough to outweigh the pain of possibly losing him. And I knew the way he kissed me, then hesitated, then claimed me completely, I knew he was saying goodbye as much as he was saying hello.

  That was why the tears had escaped. I couldn’t bear the thought of never having him again. Any single bit of him.

  “Fairy tales, huh? For you and me?” He drug his nose along mine again and my whole body shuddered beneath him.

  “Before you, I never wanted them but... Yes.” I smiled, blissed out as I was.

  “There’s always a villain.” He wove his arms around me even though his voice was hesitant.

  “There’s always a dragon to slay.”

  “Well Filly Bean, he looks good and slayed,” my Uncle Conrad’s voice interrupted the glow between us.

  It was automatic to reach for a blanket, for clothes, for anything to hide from him. I couldn’t even look to find out if he was alone or with company. Brye growled as he slipped from my body and went to block Conrad from me. I groaned when he was gone, only remembering to grab the comforter after the ache between my thighs ebbed.

  “It makes me seem like such a creep but well done Filly. Gotta love these Chicago boys and their utter lack of decency.”

  My cheeks caught on fire and in the recess of my mind I wondered if there was anything more embarrassing than my exceedingly gay uncle staring at my… Well, my who-the-fuck-knew-what Brye was to me, as he stood protectively but utterly naked between us.

  “It’s a good thing your dad and Horse are otherwise occupied.”

  “Why are you here, Conrad?” I whined from the mattress still unable to look him in the eye. I prayed he was still in his pink satin bathrobe because somehow that made this all seem a little less awful.

  “Well as it turns out, someone is here to see you.”

  “Me?” I twisted toward him, the list of people that might know I was here was short and oh-so-dangerous.

  “No, Beef Cake here.”

  “Who?” Brye crossed his arms and widened his stance infinitesimally, unconcerned with the nudity, undeterred by what someone else might think as vulnerable.

  “A ruthless killer.”

  I blanched a ghostly shade of white.

  “Goes by the name Emmett. Reminds me of that delicious hulking brute in Twilight. Something to really sink your teeth into.” He purred and I rolled my eyes even as my chest tightened.

  Why was Emmett here? Why was he with my parents? Why was he anywhere near Brye? The warning bells clanged in my head, but Brye’s bulky body relaxed.

  “Can we have a moment?” he asked.

  “Take two.” Conrad arched an eyebrow. “Even five if she didn’t get hers.” He winked from behind Brye, and I didn’t even hesitate before throwing the pillow from behind me at his face.

  He retreated with his wicked laugh trailing behind, leaving Brye and me alone again.

  “That was a nice thirty seconds.” Brye wore a wistful smile as he came back to me.

  “We could just stay here, wrapped up in each other?” Offering the prize was the only play I had, even if I knew it was a pair up against a full house.

  “I’d like nothing more.” He cocooned around me again, the weight of his body already the missing structure to my skeleton. “But Emmett wouldn’t be here if this wasn’t important.”

  “We could just let that fade away.” I swallowed the thickness in my throat. “My parents did.”

  “They killed for the privilege, Filly,” he said softly as he bent to kiss the corner of my mouth. “I will too.” He sealed his lips over mine. “I will slay your dragons.” His lips brushed mine and I trembled beneath him, unsure if it was from the undeniably sexy words or the thought that they might be true.

  I nodded where I was pinned beneath him, despite wishing that I could stay right there forever. Life just wouldn’t let me. Like it hadn’t let me grow up slow or fall into Brye like a sunrise fading to the sky. This wasn’t in my cards. My fairy tale had already been told. I started to slide away from him only for him to pin me harder.

  “I love you, Filly,” he said softly, ardently. “And I will come back to this,” he gestured between us, “to you.”

  The tears broke from the corners of my eyes again and my instinct was to cover them up. Brye caught both of my wrists before I could and drove them back to the mattress.

  “I have never had anything to live for, not even Rosalyn really, but I will live for you, Filly.”

  Brye kissed me hard as the exclamation point to his words. My body bowed all on its own as my lips were scorched and seared, the brilliant heat of the sun itself ruining me.

  “Be my strength today. Be my pillar.” He was asking but the way he said each sentence so simply said he knew that was what I needed every bit as much as he did.

  I nodded then he helped me from the bed. I reached for my discarded shirt but his strong hand wrapped around mine.
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br />   “It’s not pretty, but please wear mine.” He held his shirt out for me despite the blood that tinged the fabric across the chest. “Maybe these too.” He grabbed his boxer briefs too.

  “I was covered, thank you,” I said with the only hint of sass I could muster.

  “But you weren’t covered with me.” He offered both pieces of clothing again. “And you’re mine, Filly.”

  I sucked in a deep breath and nodded, taking the dark shirt and his underwear. I slid on the shirt, disregarding his blood, then stepped into his boxers, rolling the edge until they were fitted shorts. He likewise pulled on Horse’s shirt then stepped into his trousers commando, distracting me as he threaded his button into the closure across his lean and sculpted hips.

  He grabbed my hand before I reached for his, weaving our fingers together seamlessly. He pulled me from the room but then I took the lead toward my parent’s. By the time we got there, I puffed up my chest and tried to prepare for what was in front of us.

  I knocked only for Conrad to pull open the door a second later. I shivered when I saw my dad and Horse with guns drawn and pressed to Emmett’s chest. Brye squeezed my hand but stayed close to me. I knew this bothered him, chafed his animalistic survival mode, but I couldn’t say I felt the same. My smile grew when I thought about them leveling Emmett.

  “Don’t touch him,” he snarled.

  My dad pressed the barrel of his gun against Emmett’s chest. “Don’t tell me what to do.”

  “Dad,” I interjected, squaring my shoulders where I stood as Brye’s shield, “we trust Brye.” I would have stood at the gates of Heaven or Hell and said the same. And if I’d go toe to toe with Saint Peter or Satan, my dad was almost child’s play. Almost.

  I couldn’t bring myself to say that sort of faith and fight extended to Emmett. My dad eyed Brye with a frost that I was worried would never warm. But he nodded. He accepted, all steel jaw and stone will. Emmett, however, still watched Brye with a mix of skepticism and scoundrel.

  I tried to make myself bigger, bolder where I stood in front of him.

  Brye squeezed my hand.

  “Why are you here?” he asked, cold and ruthless behind me.

  “A few hours and you’re a Ryan not a MacCowan?”

  The hair on the back of my neck rose and I felt the protectiveness tense my shoulders. Brye wasn’t either to me, he was just mine. I wanted to snarl as much.

  “I’m a man alone now and you know that.” Brye stepped out from behind me and despite my words, my uncle’s gun swung to track him.

  My heart split from my chest and followed him as he stepped away from me and toward Emmett.

  “You’re going to need to find an army.” Emmett eyed each member of my family, evaluating with the ruthless cunning of someone who was designed to kill and deciding whether or not to.

  “Why?” The savage in Brye slipped back into place, and I couldn’t help but feel as if he slipped from me.

  “Your dad knows where you are.” He audibly gulped as he shoved his shoulders back. “And he’s coming for blood.”

  There’s always a dragon to slay. Filly’s words stuck with me while Emmett’s swam in my head.

  My dad was coming. Evil incarnate would touch her again, and after I’d gotten her out, after I’d set her free.

  Or…

  I could slay the dragon once and for all.

  My father deserved to die. I hadn’t questioned that for years. But at the end of the day, he was my father, the only warped sense of family I’d ever had. He’d introduced me to murder and mayhem, drugs and all things deliciously sinful, but he’d also been the man in the suit that kicked the soccer ball in the street with me. He’d given me a home, an education, a life, no matter how wrong it really was.

  “I came to help you, Brye.” Emmett shook me from my thoughts. “I came to help you end it once and for all.”

  I looked over at Filly, at her tousled hair and the bright red marks raised just above the collar of my shirt. She was temptation as pure and enticing as original sin. I could have her, I could have a life with her. My father’s end was my beginning.

  Ours.

  “Can I trust you?” It was the last question I remembered asking him and this time I was gambling with something infinitely more valuable.

  “Trust that I want him gone.” It wasn’t an answer and I was about to press him when Filly interrupted.

  “No!” Filly screamed.

  My eyes locked on hers, big and begging. “Yes,” I answered despite her desperate look.

  “You said you wouldn’t leave me.”

  “I’m sorry, but you don’t get a say in this.” I loathed myself for being stern with her.

  “Like fuck!”

  “He’s right, Filly,” her dad echoed with his finite voice.

  “Don’t you even start.” Her voice was squeaking up, her hands reached back for the wild marks near her neck. I grabbed for her hands, hoping to keep them from clawing at her skin but she wrenched them away from me and threw them up in the air. “I will not lose you!”

  I blew out a deep breath and chanced a glance at her father. The ice cold bastard had a look on his face of understanding. I didn’t know if there would ever be a moment I didn’t want to rip his head off, I didn’t know if I’d get a chance to find out, but I knew he had my back when it came to this. When it came to keeping Filly safe.

  “Well, you can bet your ass I’m not losing you. To anything. If he can even guess where you are...”

  “Brye, please.” Her voice was still harsh, but tears threatened to destroy each syllable.

  I thought about fighting more with her, about making her see, but she wouldn’t. She couldn’t. The same way that I couldn’t see walking away from it all with no resolution. She only saw risk. I only saw reward. The sparkle of her unshed tears was fresh in the corner of her eyes. They were the reminder of earlier, they were the seal of my fate.

  My chest constricted as I looked away from her and back to her father. I wordlessly told him what I would do, what I would sacrifice, and he barely nodded his chin.

  “Cole, please.” My words were an odd echo of hers but they were a command and he complied.

  He wrapped around his daughter before she realized, pinning her back to his chest. Filly started fighting, yelling my name amid wild roars and red-hot tears. I wanted to go to her. The urge to soothe her, to tell her it had all been a lie, that I’d never walk away from her, built until it was almost choking.

  It was only a heartbeat later that Cole had to root completely against her flailing body, his muscles flexed and gripped. When her furious cry turned to anguish, I couldn’t breathe. She was turning the dark red of her angry welts and I wanted the cream of her skin back so bad it hurt, but it was the color that made me swallow back the emotion. It had been gone a few days but the dark of blood splashed against snow flashed before my eyes.

  “You have to leave.” I looked at her uncles, skipping over them and landing on her mom. Elle was beautiful, the warmth I loved about Filly poured out from her, but there was a hardness too. It was that unfailing steel that I appealed to. “You have to take her far from here. She can’t come back.”

  Filly screamed and it dissolved down into sobs as she sagged into the unwavering grip of her father. Elle cocked her head sideways and studied me. She didn’t share the same sentiment and sureness that Cole did, but I couldn’t tell what was behind her eyes in its place.

  “We will.” It was Horse that finally answered me.

  Cole nodded in solidarity. Elle still said nothing, but I didn’t need her too.

  “Let’s go.” Emmett knocked my shoulder and I turned, my gaze sweeping the carpet rather than the room.

  He held the door open for me as Filly’s wild cry tried to hold me back. This was the last moment to choose being with her rather than fighting for her. This was the last moment to choose selfish or sacrifice. I looked back at her, wearing all of it on my face, praying that she’d see into me like she
always managed, praying she knew I was doing this for her, not to her. I looked back at her and smiled the smallest sad smile before I turned away and followed Emmett out the door.

  I stared out of the window as Emmett drove the streets I knew so well. Streetlights washed over me with the usual flip and wash and my mind wandered to Paris. Filly had said they had a house there, and I idly wondered if the streetlights felt different there. Warm maybe, rose even.

  I could be there now if only…

  No. I caught myself. Tonight I’d opened up the box that held my heart and let Filly have the fucked up bits that were left. The farther I got away from her, the more I missed those scraps and how gently she held them. The more I doubted this decision.

  “You’re going to be king,” Emmett said.

  “I already was,” I muttered.

  “You really don’t want this?” Emmett broke into my thoughts and I sighed. “After all the years? All the bodies and all the bloodshed? You don’t want the sacrifice to be at your altar?”

  “No, Emmett.” I shot him a look as I thought back to my words to Filly in bed. She was the only prayer I’d ever need.

  “Think of the empire you’ll inherit.”

  “I don’t want it. Not anymore.”

  “How can you not want it?” He quirked his eyebrow. “The power, the money? The sex?”

  “I want a life.”

  “Fuck a life. You should want to be immortal.”

  Deirdre’s words breezed through me. He thirsted for power, not love. How thirsty was he? What were the sins she forgave that broke her? Would they break me?

  I looked over at Emmett in a new light, a darkly terrifying one.

  “Is that what you told Deirdre?”

  He threw his head back and laughed. “Is that what she told you?” He banged his fist on the steering wheel. “That raunchy whore.”