A Journey of the Heart Collection

by Colleen Coble

  Morning Song slipped in behind Emmie. She had a cup of steaming liquid in her hands. “I wish to try some Sioux medicine. It is from the bark of a tree you call white oak.”

  “Go ahead. There’s nothing much I can do.” Dr. Horton stepped toward the door. “I’ll be back in an hour or so.”

  Emmie lifted Amelia’s head and shoulders onto her lap while Morning Song spooned the steaming liquid into her mouth. Some ran out the corners of her mouth, but she managed to swallow a little. Emmie wiped Amelia’s mouth and eased her back against the pillows.

  Sarah wrung her hands. “I wish Jacob would get back. I’m so afraid.”

  Amelia moaned and both women knelt beside her bed. She opened her eyes and they looked bright and blue against the pure white of her face. Those blue eyes shone with love and a strange joy. Emmie swallowed hard and fought a rising sense of panic as Amelia smiled at someone just past Emmie’s shoulder. Emmie almost turned around to look, but she knew no one was there.

  “Tell Jacob I’ll be waiting for him,” Amelia whispered. “I’m sorry I have to leave him alone.”

  “No, no.” Sarah shook her head. “Don’t talk like that. Jacob will be here soon and you’ll be fine.”

  “You must be strong, Sarah.” Amelia’s voice was a soft croak. “Help Jacob all you can and tell him I love him.”

  She coughed violently, then lay gasping for air. She looked again at a spot just to the side of Emmie, stretched out her arms, and closed her eyes. She gave one last little sigh, a strange little hiccup, and her chest grew still. Baby Gabrielle wailed suddenly as though she somehow knew her mother was gone.

  “No!” Sarah wailed. She tried to pull Amelia to a sitting position, but she was limp and unresponsive.

  Emmie took Sarah by the shoulders and pulled her close. She swallowed hard past the tears burning in her throat. How could this be?

  She leaned her forehead against Sarah’s head and closed her eyes as Sarah cried out in sudden comprehension of the loss of her best friend. Morning Song hurried to tend to the crying baby. Emmie heard her clucking noises of comfort through the dull veil of grief that squeezed her heart.

  “She’s gone,” she whispered against Sarah’s hair. “But we know she’s with the Lord.”

  “She can’t be dead,” Sarah said numbly. “She can’t be. We’ve always been there for each other. This can’t be true. Call the doctor.” But the words were said without any real conviction.

  They clung together for several unbelieving minutes, then Emmie pulled away and stood. She looked down at Sarah’s white face and held out her hand.

  Sarah shook her head. “I want to stay here for just a few minutes,” she said with a pleading look. “I just want to remember the good times we had when we were growing up.” Her words were choked with tears. “I still can’t believe she’s gone.”

  Emmie squeezed her shoulder, then left her alone with Amelia.

  Morning Song was in the kitchen with little Gabrielle. Emmie put water on to boil for some tea, then sat wearily beside Morning Song. Young John played happily on the floor with some wooden blocks, and Emmie’s gaze lingered on her little nephew.

  “I don’t know how to tell Jacob,” Emmie whispered.

  She could only imagine the pain he would feel. And he had a new baby to care for. Of course they would all help, but it was still a huge responsibility to raise a child alone. Emmie gulped as she thought about the situation.

  Her promise to Amelia.

  She’d promised her friend she would marry Jake and care for Gabrielle if anything happened. Surely Amelia wouldn’t expect her to keep a promise like that now that Emmie had found Isaac.

  She bit her lip and blinked back more tears. Just when life seemed so perfect, everything fell apart. How could any of them look forward to the wedding when Amelia was gone? Even the thought of that sweet little house seemed impossible in the face of this tragedy.

  The day dragged by somehow. Morning Song took the children home to Sarah’s, while Sarah and Emmie washed Amelia’s cold, still body and dressed her in her favorite Sunday dress, the violet one that deepened the color of her eyes. Emmie couldn’t bear the thought of those extraordinary eyes never widening in wonder again. Sarah combed and dressed her friend’s long dark hair one last time as her tears gently bathed Amelia’s white but still-beautiful face. As the sad news traveled around the post, several ladies dropped by with whispers of condolences and offerings of food.

  The bugle finally announced the men’s return to the fort, but it was nearly an hour before they heard the heavy tread of the men on the front porch. Isaac and Rand each held Jacob’s arms as they practically carried him through the door. His face was slack and glazed with disbelief and an overwhelming grief. All three men bore signs of the tears they’d shed.

  Isaac’s eyes were full of sorrow as they met Emmie’s, and he opened his arms to her. Sarah uttered a tiny cry and flew into Rand’s arms, and they all wept together as Jacob stumbled toward the room where his wife lay.

  Moments later, they heard his harsh sobs as he sank to the floor beside Amelia. Emmie’s eyes filled with tears again. Isaac pulled her closer and rested his chin on the top of her head as she sobbed against his chest. His shirt smelled of cold air and the warm musk of his male scent. She felt loved and comforted in the circle of his arms with his breath warm on her face. But the grief and aloneness poor Jake must be feeling.

  After a little while, the four of them tiptoed into the bedroom to be with Jake. His sobs had stilled, but his fingers still traced the contours of Amelia’s face. Rand put his hand on his younger brother’s shoulder.

  “I never got to say good-bye,” Jacob choked out. “How could she leave without saying good-bye?”

  Sarah knelt beside him. “Her last words were for you. She said, ‘Tell Jacob I’ll be waiting for him. Tell him I love him.’ ”

  Jacob groaned and buried his face in his hands. His shoulders shook with the intensity of his grief. After a few moments, he lifted his head. “Where’s the baby? Is she all right?”

  “She’s fine,” Emmie said. “Morning Song took her to our house along with John and Joel.”

  “I want her. She’s all I have left of Amelia now.”

  “I’ll go get her.” Emmie started to leave but Isaac stopped her.

  “The wind is terrible. Let me go.”

  Emmie shook her head. “I want to. I’ll be fine.” She wrapped her cloak about her and stepped out into the wind-whipped snow. She was numb from the emotions of the day as she hurried across the parade ground. The wind stung her cheeks, and the prickle of feeling brought a new wave of grief. How would they all bear this?

  Morning Song looked up as Emmie stumbled into the parlor. Little Gabrielle and John slept contentedly on the cot. Joel dozed with his head against Morning Song’s knee. The baby slept so peacefully. Emmie’s heart clenched with love for the motherless mite. Amelia would have been such a wonderful mother. Now Gabrielle would never know the lovely person who had given her life. Tears stung her eyes as the baby stirred and opened blue eyes so very like her mother’s.

  “Jake is back and wants to see the baby.” Emmie knelt beside the cot and gently bundled the blankets around the baby. She lifted the baby into her arms and looked at Morning Song for a moment. “He’s taking it very hard.”

  Morning Song nodded. “I knew it would be so. When one is cut, the other bleeds. I should come too?”

  Emmie shook her head. “You stay with the boys. There’s no sense in making them come out in this cold. When we get back, maybe you could go over and feed her.”

  “I will come.”

  There was a thread of emotio
n Emmie didn’t recognize in Morning Song’s voice. The young woman was so stoic most of the time. It was hard to guess what she felt and how strongly Amelia’s death was affecting her.

  With a last glance at her friend, Emmie pulled the blanket over Gabrielle’s face and tucked her under her cloak for added warmth. The wind caught the door out of her fingers, but Morning Song was behind her to grab it and pull it shut.

  Jacob was waiting at the door when she stomped the snow off her feet on the porch. He took the bundled baby out of her arms as soon as she extricated her from under the cloak. With tender hands, he pulled back the blankets and gazed into his daughter’s tiny face. She yawned and opened her blue eyes.

  “You look so much like your mama,” Jacob whispered. “Thank God.” He pulled her close, then went to the bedroom and shut the door.

  Emmie sank wearily onto the cot in the parlor.

  Isaac put a hand on her shoulder and squeezed gently. “We’ll get through this. God is here and in control.”

  Emmie nodded. She knew it was so. But why would God allow such sorrow to come to them? She didn’t know if she would ever understand.

  THREE

  The day of the funeral dawned clear and cold. December twentieth, just five days before Christmas. The wind wasn’t as fierce as usual, which was a mercy from God. Jacob was insistent that the baby be at the service, although she was much too tiny to be out in the weather. Emmie bundled her carefully, then followed Sarah and Rand to the little chapel. Isaac was waiting for her outside the door.

  “I’ve been praying for you all morning.” He squeezed her hand. “For all of us.”

  Emmie nodded in gratitude. “Rand was at Jacob’s all night. Morning Song too. She insisted she should be the one to go since she is feeding the baby. Poor little John looks so bewildered. He doesn’t understand what his mama is doing with that other baby all the time.”

  She eased onto the bench beside Sarah and Rand. Jacob sat on the other side of his brother. He stared down at his hands with such a look of suffering that Emmie’s eyes filled with fresh tears. She ached to comfort him somehow, but only God could give him the peace he needed.

  Reverend Howard cleared his throat as he nervously glanced around at the packed building. The entire garrison had turned out to see Amelia put to rest. “Today is a day of mourning for us gathered here to pay our final respects to Amelia Campbell.” He leaned forward slightly over the pulpit. “But I say to all of you that it is a day of great rejoicing as well.”

  Jacob glanced up sharply with a frown.

  “Our dear sister showed God’s love to everyone she knew. Some of you may wish to tell about how Amelia demonstrated her love for her God in your own lives.”

  He sat down and the chapel was silent. Then one by one people stood and told of kindnesses that Amelia had shared. Tears rained down Emmie’s cheeks as she listened to the outpouring of love. Jacob sobbed when one soldier told how he had popped a button on his coat while carrying in a load of wood for Amelia, and she insisted on sewing it back on and then gave him some tea and buttered bread.

  The chapel was silent for a few moments, and Reverend Howard stood again. “I think we can all heartily agree that Amelia Campbell lived her life to the fullest. She loved her family and she loved her fellow man. I pray that each one of us can impact lives the way she did.”

  As Emmie, clinging to Isaac’s arm, followed the procession to the grave, her heart was lighter than she would have dreamed possible. She could only imagine the joy Amelia was feeling at this moment. How could she mourn when she thought of her friend’s unimaginable bliss? A glance at Jacob’s face showed he did not share her thoughts. Grief was etched deeply in his face as he carried his daughter through the ankle-deep snow.

  The service at graveside was brief, just the traditional ashes to ashes, dust to dust eulogy. They hurried home through the increasing wind. Emmie felt a sense of uneasiness as she followed Jacob’s broad back. He seemed hard and angry. She knew he blamed God. When the minister had tried to offer words of comfort, he had turned away with a harsh, “Don’t talk to me of God’s grace and mercy. My wife is dead and my daughter is motherless.” She had never expected an attitude like that from Jacob. Amelia had said he had a strong faith.

  “Emmie, would you mind coming in a moment?” Jacob said as they reached his quarters. “I need to talk to you.”

  “Of course.” She lifted her face toward Isaac, and he brushed his lips across her cheek.

  She smiled and squeezed his hand before following Jacob inside. She hung her cloak on a hook in the hall and hurried to the kitchen to boil some water for tea. She was cold clear through and Jacob had to be as well.

  He put little Gabrielle on the bed and sat at the kitchen table while Emmie rummaged through the open shelves for some teacups. He sat silently while she finished preparing the tea. She glanced over at him once or twice and felt a little intimidated by his grim look.

  “Sugar?” she asked. He shook his head and took the steaming cup. She dropped sugar in her own cup and sat beside him at the table.

  “You aren’t going to like what I have to say,” he said abruptly. “I need your help.”

  Emmie smiled at him. Was that all this was about? “You know I’ll help in any way I can. I loved Amelia too. I know it will be hard to take care of Gabrielle by yourself.”

  “I need more than just occasional help. Gabrielle needs a full-time mother. I don’t want her growing up shifted from place to place like a homeless puppy.”

  Emmie’s smile faltered. “You want me to take her? Don’t you want her to live with you?”

  Jacob scowled. “I wouldn’t give my daughter up for anything. She’s the only important thing in my life. I don’t want you to take her to live with you. I want you to live here with me and take care of her.”

  “Jacob, I would do anything I could to help, but I can’t stay here alone with you. The entire fort would talk.”

  “Not if we were married. I want you to honor your promise to Amelia.”

  The words hammered into her brain and Emmie sat back as though from a blow. Honor her promise? She couldn’t marry Jacob! She was going to marry Isaac. Kind, loving Isaac who was waiting for her at Sarah’s.

  She shook her head. “You can’t be serious. You know I’m going to marry Isaac.”

  “I know you are a woman of your word and Gabrielle needs a mother. You needn’t worry about me bothering you or expecting anything else from you except to take care of my daughter. I’ll never love another woman like I loved Amelia. You’ll look after Gabrielle, fix my meals, and tend to the house. That’s all. You and the baby can have the bedroom. I’ll sleep on the cot in the parlor. When she’s a little older, I’ll release you and you can marry Isaac.”

  He stared at her fiercely as he said the words. His stern look seemed to dare her to contradict his command. Emmie swallowed hard. What should she do? Didn’t he know how unreasonable his demand was? Did he really expect her to give up her life and future with the man she loved to be an unloved nursemaid and housekeeper?

  You made a promise, a voice inside her head whispered.

  Jake stood up abruptly. “I know this is a shock, so I’m going to leave you. I need to talk to the colonel for a little while. You think it over. I know you’ll do the right thing.”

  The right thing? This was supposed to be the right thing? Emmie stared at his back as he strode toward the door. How could he ask such a thing of her? What should she do?

  She twisted her hands in her lap and stared at the sleeping baby. Amelia had been such a dear friend. Surely she wouldn’t expect Emmie to give up her own chance at happiness to take care of the stern man Jacob had become.


  A timid knock at the door broke into her confused thoughts. Jacob pulled it open, and Morning Song stood on the other side with a colorful Sioux blanket around her shoulders.

  Jake stepped aside. “Gabrielle is still sleeping. I very much appreciate what you’ve been doing for me and the baby, Morning Song.”

  She stared at the floor and color flooded her cheeks. “I would do anything for you and Gabrielle.”

  He put his hand on Morning Song’s shoulder. “Thank you.” He stepped around her, opened the door, and pulled it shut behind him.

  Emmie gestured to the table. “Would you like some tea while we wait for Gabrielle to wake up?” She needed someone to talk to, someone impartial.

  Morning Song nodded. “Tea sounds good. The winter wind is very bad.” She looked into Emmie’s eyes. “My friend is not happy. This place is sad for you.”

  “Yes, but that’s not the only problem. I don’t know what to do about Jacob.” She stood and put the kettle on the woodstove, then sat and clenched her hands in her lap. “I made a promise to Amelia. One that I never thought I would have to keep.”

  “My father says if a warrior cannot keep his word in the camp, do not trust him in battle with the enemy.”

  “But what if keeping that word will ruin the person’s life?” Emmie blinked back the moisture in her eyes as she gazed pleadingly at Morning Song. “I made the promise without thinking. But it was only to ease Amelia’s agitation. I never expected to have to do what she asked.” The kettle whistled, and she went to the stove and poured the boiling water into the teapot, then brought it to the table.

  Morning Song watched her prepare the tea for a moment. “What have you said you will do?” She touched Emmie’s hand.

  “Several weeks ago Amelia was distressed and convinced she wouldn’t live through childbirth. She knew I was also expecting a child and was alone. So she asked me to marry Jacob so I could care for them. Then my baby and I would be provided for as well. Now Jacob expects me to honor that promise.”