Hell

by Yasutaka Tsutsui

  “I don’t know. They could just be dreaming.”

  “Want to go down there?” A flicker of curiosity had appeared in Takeshi’s eyes. “Don’t you want to go meet yourself? I bet that other Izumi would be surprised to see you.”

  “Could be interesting,” Izumi laughed. “Let’s go.”

  “Yeah, come on,” said Yuzo. “I think I see some guys from my gang down there too. And the ones with them look like they’re from one of the other gangs. It’s a regular family reunion.”

  The three of them slipped through the glass of the window and floated down to the street below.

  Sasaki was leisurely drinking an iced tea on a café terrace when he was given a note. He hadn’t seen anyone stop by his table, and the waiter certainly hadn’t put it there as he passed by. It was as if the note had simply appeared out of thin air.

  “Come to the fountain in the square,” read the slip of paper. It was written in ballpoint pen.

  Sasaki had never been to the square, but somehow he knew exactly where it was. And although no time was mentioned in the note, he felt that he should go immediately. He took a five-hundred-yen coin and three one-hundred-yen coins and placed them on the table before getting up to leave. He didn’t know the exact price of the tea, but everything in Hell had a vague, dreamlike quality to it; it really didn’t matter how much he paid.

  The semicircular fountain was in one corner of the square. Water poured from the open mouths of the demonic faces carved into its stone surface. There was already quite a crowd gathered in front of it. Most of the people there were elderly and many of them seemed to be couples; perhaps they had been married in life. Some wore suits, and others were dressed for hiking. They were divided up into groups of twenty or thirty people standing in two neat rows. A middle-aged woman dressed in a train conductor’s uniform appeared and spoke brusquely to Sasaki. “You’ll be your group’s leader, Mr Sasaki.” The woman was chubby, dark and unattractive. Her teeth were pointed fangs. How did she know Sasaki’s name? Who was she? Was she a demon? He decided that “demon lady” would be as good a name for her as any. She spoke to him again before he could ask what he was supposed to do.

  “You’re going to lead group seven. The group over at that end is group one, so this is group seven, do you understand? Just stand at the front here and follow group six. If anyone gets out of line or if anything unusual happens, tell me.”

  Where were they going? How would he tell her if something did happen? How should he address her? And why had he been chosen to be the leader? Sasaki had many questions, but the demon lady looked like she had little patience for such things, so he merely nodded and moved to the front of the line. He turned to his right and saw that his wife was standing at the front of group six.

  “Jitsuko,” he called.

  She looked at him, smiled, and then nodded slowly. “Hello, dear.”

  “You two were married, I see.” The demon lady smiled, showing her fangs. “And you’re the youngest ones here. That’s why I made you both group leaders.” She trotted off towards the front of the first group.

  Sasaki stared at Jitsuko. She was wearing the same drab dress she had been wearing on the train, and yet she was beautiful. She had been cute as a young woman, but this was something else. She still looked the same. Her face was as he remembered it, but there was something different about her. It was almost as though she had lived her life free from the hardships that had plagued her for so long. It had been the cold and the hunger that had robbed her of her true beauty. Sasaki really had been responsible for her ugliness. But it seemed ludicrous to try and apologize to her now, so he merely continued to gaze at the beautiful woman who had once been his wife.

  There was no obvious signal, but the first group started walking. They left the square and began to snake down a wide avenue nearby. Groups eight and nine were to Sasaki’s left, waiting to leave. Where were they going? The advanced age of the group members and the looks of peaceful resignation on their faces seemed to leave only one possibility. Sasaki wasn’t sure if they would be “attaining Buddhahood” as people sometimes said, but it seemed clear there was no reason for them to stay in Hell. Did that mean that Sasaki and his wife would be leaving as well? Had they been freed from their worldly desires already? Perhaps that could be said of his wife, but Sasaki hardly felt that he was ready to go. Who decided who would go and who would stay? Was it something that just happened? When you were ready to go, did you just go?

  Jitsuko’s group began to follow the tail end of the group in front of it. Sasaki also started to walk. He glanced back to see the expressionless faces of the people following him. Reassured, he continued walking.

  They were walking down a wide city street lined with tall buildings. After a time they passed through the open entrance of a large building with a domed ceiling that loomed many storeys above them. It was a sort of shopping mall. The central area was surrounded by stores selling food, gifts, musical instruments, clothes, jewellery and the like. There were no pharmacies, but perhaps they were not needed in a world where no one had to worry about getting sick or dying.

  The groups came to a stop and lined up just as they had in the square. Sasaki led his own group into position next to group six. He and his wife looked at each other once again, and Jitsuko smiled at him. To Sasaki, it was the most captivating expression imaginable. There was no sign of the demon lady. Maybe she was busy making arrangements for their departure. He was wondering how long they’d waiting there when a delicious aroma wafted by.

  “Oh,” said Jitsuko, looking up at Sasaki with a distant expression on her face, “they’re selling grilled eel.”

  “It smells good.”

  “I’ll go buy some. We can have it for dinner tonight.”

  She left her group and disappeared into the crowd of people. Dinner tonight? Where did she think they were going?

  “I’ll come too,” he muttered to himself, walking after her. He felt as if he was being drawn to her.

  ‘Dancing in the Dark’ was playing on the sound system of a music store. A number of older couples were dancing to the song in the open area in front of the store. Jitsuko stood watching them.

  “May I?” asked Sasaki.

  Jitsuko put her hand on his right shoulder, and they began to dance.

  They had often gone dancing when they were dating. Dance halls were a Mecca for young lovers; they’d stand packed together in the middle of the dance floor, barely moving as they pressed their bodies up against each another. The last song of the night was always ‘Auld Lang Syne’, and when it began to play, the lights in the hall would be turned out. Sasaki and Jitsuko never failed to take advantage of the darkness, kissing passionately and sometimes going further.

  As they swayed to the strains of ‘Dancing in the Dark’, Sasaki remembered the times they had groped each other. They could hardly do the same right there in broad daylight, so instead he pressed his right thigh into her crotch as they danced. Jitsuko’s eyes glistened. She looked up and let out a wistful sigh. Her face took on a distant expression, and her cheeks were a rosy red. She let out little moans. Was she really feeling something? Didn’t that mean that she wasn’t yet free of worldly desires? Or was it just a sort of conditioned response brought about by the memory of their time together in the real world?

  Out of the corner of his eye, Sasaki saw that the other groups had starting moving. He felt a sudden jolt of panic. What would the demon lady do if they were late?

  “Let’s go. They’re leaving.”

  Startled, Jitsuko opened her eyes and pulled her body away from him. “You go on ahead,” she said.

  She disappeared into the crowd again. Did she plan to find a toilet to fix her teary eyes and flushed face? Or did she still want to buy that grilled eel?

  When Sasaki returned to his position in front of his group, he was relieved to see that only groups one through three had left. Still, he was worried about whether Jitsuko would return in time to lead group six. He wa
s waiting anxiously for her to come back when group five began to move.

  Just then, Jitsuko came running back. Her face had returned to normal and she wasn’t carrying anything resembling grilled eel. She approached him and whispered in his ear, “Keep an eye out for the leader of group eight. There’s something strange about him.”

  She hurried back to her position at the head of her group, and it began to move. Sasaki glanced over at the elderly man standing at the front of group eight. He appeared to be senile. Drool spilt out of his open mouth, and he stared blankly off into the distance. Why had the demon lady made someone like that a group leader? No, even a demon wouldn’t have chosen someone in his condition. The man must have been normal while they were in the square and had only turned senile after they had started walking. Maybe the stress of leaving Hell or being chosen as a group leader had been too much for him.

  Was it really possible for someone to turn senile after coming to Hell? Sasaki wondered as he followed behind group six. Could that be the fate that awaited all of them when they left Hell? The man might have simply changed earlier than most.

  The groups circled the shopping mall and passed through the front entrance onto the street outside. After a while the road started up a gentle incline. Ahead of them was a river spanned by a large bridge. But the groups did not continue across the bridge, instead turning to the left and following a dirt path along the river bank. Sasaki could see the first group in the distance as it walked alongside the river. Now that they were no longer walking in one straight line, he was amazed to see how many people there were.

  When Sasaki’s group reached the banks of the river, he also turned left and followed the others along the river bank. As he walked, he looked down at the river on his right and periodically glanced back at his group. They all seemed to be there. But wait – the tail end of their procession had broken off. Instead of turning, group eight was following its senile leader straight over the bridge.

  If something wasn’t done, group nine would follow them as well. He had to report this to the demon lady. But how was he supposed to do that? Everyone in the real world seemed to carry mobile phones, but he didn’t have one, and in any case, he didn’t know the demon lady’s number. He would just have to shout.

  “Excuse me! We have a situation here!”

  He had barely got the words out of his mouth before the demon lady appeared at his side.

  “What is it, Mr Sasaki?”

  “Group eight,” he said, pointing towards the bridge. The entire group was on the bridge now and its leader was already halfway across.

  The demon lady looked at them with a slightly troubled expression, but then shook her head. “It can’t be helped. Let them go.”

  “Really?”

  “Yes. It doesn’t really matter.”

  “Group nine is following them too.”

  “Yes, I see. But it’s all right,” she said offhandedly. She began to walk briskly towards the front of the line.

  Sasaki was a bit put off by her casual attitude, but since she seemed to be in charge, he had no choice but to trust her. Did it really make no difference where the other groups went? Group seven continued walking. They were now the last group in the procession.

  They were surrounded now by rice fields, dotted here and there by farmhouses. Sasaki looked left, right, then left again, trying to memorize every detail of the scene. There were clouds in the distance. They seemed to be bubbling up from the ground and looked as though they would swallow the first group as it walked towards them. Was that how they would get to the next world? Did heaven or paradise lie beyond those clouds? Or did nothingness await them? He was curious and a little scared. No matter what happened, he would certainly be changed. But he was already dead. Surely he had nothing to be afraid of. He watched as Jitsuko’s group walked into the clouds and vanished.