by Dani Lovell
As I hear Luke’s car beep outside, I take my gloves and hat from the side table and head outside to collect my skis and boots from the porch area. I make my way down the snowy steps carefully and notice that Tilly is sitting in the front seat. Luke opens his door to come out and put my skis on the roof.
“Hey Lex, ready for it?”
“Bring it on!” I cry, excitedly, and climb into the car, noticing that Daniel isn’t here as I’d expected. “Hey, Til, you made it! I’m so excited that you get to join us. Isn’t Daniel coming?”
“Yeah, he’s coming with Bea in another car, I think everyone is coming today. You okay?” she asks, reaching back to squeeze my hand in greeting.
“I’m great thank you, I got some work done last night so I’m ready to enjoy a day out in the snow. Is Emily with Pam?”
“Yep. I’m not going to stay out all day, I want to go back and spend the afternoon with her, but I’m super excited to give the Bowl a go! I’m going to be knackered aren’t I?”
I giggle, “It’s tiring, for sure, but you’ll be good. So… everyone?”
“Oh you know, the parents, Daniel and Bea…”
“Fantastic! I didn’t think the parents were joining us until later.”
“Yeah, they said they’ll stay at ‘Merry-Go-Round’ until we’re done so we can all have lunch together before you move on to the normal slopes.”
“Oh okay, that’s great.”
~~~~~~~
The Bowl was predictably fun, and introducing it to Bea and Tilly was wonderful; they were absolutely taken aback by the breath-taking beauty of it all. Luke and Tilly went missing for a short while, but none of us were particularly worried, knowing what the pair of them is like, and they had been extremely doe-eyed and romantic the entire journey so of course they’d have had to act on it. They have no ability to hold out and wait for later.
It’s naughty, but cute, really. Luke is also a regular and knows the place like the back of his hand, so if you’re going to separate from the group to have ‘relations’ in the Bowl – he’s who you’d want to be out there doing it with.
When we reach the bottom, everybody has huge, entirely satisfied smiles on their faces and cold, rosy cheeks. This is what I love so much about skiing, that fresh, cold air and the thrill of the fast paced energy on the slopes.
We chat excitedly about the trip to the top and back as we remove our skis and boards, and rack them up to make our way into the restaurant, back to the parents. I’m really looking forward to a long, talkative lunch before we head back outside to ski and board as an entire group.
Skiing with my parents is fun for me, it reminds me of my fortunate and warm childhood. I’ll never thank my parents enough for the opportunities they afforded my brother and I as we grew up.
Walking in to the warm restaurant, the guys and Queenie walk straight to the table to join the others. Bea and Tilly divert to the bathroom and I head to the counter to get our drinks.
It’s very busy today but that’s to be expected, I suppose, it is Christmas and it’s so popular up here at this time of year. I manage to wiggle through to the counter, and wait my turn.
“Sexy Lexie…” I hear, a familiar tone, which I’m initially comforted by, but that emotion is immediately backtracked when I realise how I recognise it; Sebastian. He’s directly behind me, pushed up against me in the crowd and his mouth is low and close to my ear.
I move my head slightly to address him, but I don’t turn around completely. I’m at the bar and won’t lose my place for the sake of sleazy small talk with Sebastian Love. “Sebastian, how are you?”
“I’m good, thank you. Are you feeling okay now?” His normal response surprises me somewhat; I was expecting him to come out with something sordid or perverted.
“Yes, I’m great, thank you.”
“Excellent. Can I get you a drink?”
“No, I’m good, thanks, I’m getting for everyone.”
“Okay, if you’re sure.”
“Yes, thank you. But as I’m here, what can I get you?”
“I’ll have a cappuccino, thanks.”
“What table are you at? I’ll bring it to you.”
“No need, I’m sitting with you guys.”
He says it like it’s nothing. Maybe it is nothing, but I need to pause for a moment to collect myself. “Oh, really?”
“Yeah, I was having a phone conference with Henry yesterday about some business and he invited me along to the ‘Berkeley ski day’ today, that’s okay, isn’t it?”
“Oh, er… sure it is, sure.”
“I was pissed to miss the Bowl but I had some stuff to do earlier so couldn’t make that part. I bet it was great out there today.”
“Um, yeah… it was.” I’m still trying to get over the fact that I’m spending the day with him. What is my folks’ obsession with this fucking guy? It’s like he has the same affect on them when they’re sober, as he does on me, when I’m drunk! Actually, good God, I hope not.
It takes a few more minutes but soon, I’m served, and I turn to make my way to the table as they prepare the drinks. Sebastian kept me company and in all honesty, apart from being slightly perturbed about his presence today, it was ‘okay’ to make small talk while I waited.
I’ve been quite relieved this morning that nobody has mentioned anything about Sebastian and I, other than a couple of subtle, mocking hints about the ‘Escobar’ kiss, from Tilly. I’m okay with that, I may be averse to making a fool out of myself in public, but never-the-less, I do still have a sense of humour, and provided I’m not made to look like a total ass-hat, I can laugh at myself occasionally.
The last to return to the table, Sebastian and I are forced to sit next to one another at the end. And so what? I’m okay with that. Yes, so our thighs are touching and I swear he is moving it in a slow and erotic manner on purpose, but I don’t react because it’s not bothering me whatsoever. Nope. No Siree Bob. I’m as cool as a cucumber, totally avoiding all thoughts of his cucumberesque member. What? It’s nothing like a cucumber, Lex - it’s a penis. AND WHY THE FUCK AM I THINKING ABOUT HIS PENIS?
Oh God. Today is going to be long.
~~~~~~~
Well, to be honest, today really wasn’t anywhere near as ‘long’ as I thought it would be.
Lunch was very pleasant, as a matter of fact, once I got over the knee bumping and shoulder bouncing. I half expected a hand on my thigh every now and again but it never came which I’m pleased about. I think.
I’m starting to have a little faith that maybe Sebastian Love does have some self-control, after all. Or maybe he’s not really interested in me anymore, now that I’ve given up any airs of mystery that I might have had about me before the other night. Yes, that’s right, Lex - he’s seen you naked. It does keep coming right back to haunt me, but given I can recall every last detail of his manhood; I don’t know why I should feel so mortified. It’s not like we’re not even.
Skiing was actually as enjoyable as lunch. Even with his presence, I enjoyed myself just as much, if not more than I had anticipated. In fact, I might go as far as to say his company could have enhanced the day. Now I’m not saying that I am developing any feelings for the guy, I’m not. I just think in certain situations, he’s not as bad as I have thought he was, all these years.
We really did have a wonderful, energetic and invigorating day out there in the snow, and I am thoroughly exhausted when Luke drops me back at the house for a long and luxurious evening in, alone. I was invited to join the other parties for dinner and relaxing, but I declined in favour of a long, bubbly soak in my tub, a warming glass of red and to curl up in front of the fire with my secret weakness; a sickeningly sweet romance novel on my Kindle. I think I’ll go for a sexy, beach-set story tonight.
Given my single status, this is the perfect end to an exhausting, yet - fun, long day out in the cold. Of course, if I had a gentleman friend, my perfect evening would still involve the tub, the wine and the fire, but my novel would re
main my own dirty little secret and the man would be an oh-so-welcome replacement, holding me in his arms, talking, kissing… oh enough.
With my tub full, I remove my clothes and take my hair down ready to sink in, and just as I’m about to leave the bedroom, my cell indicates that I’ve received a text message, so I quickly check it. The name surprises me, instantly.
~
LOVE, SEBASTIAN
iMessage
Today 7:14
Fantastic day, Lexie, thank you for sharing. I really enjoyed skiing with you! We should do it more often. Your company is missed this evening. Enjoy, hope to see you soon. S x
~
How very unexpected, and my reaction, too. I’m a little shy to admit that it made me smile, somewhat. I didn’t feel a response was necessary, but that text did something strange to me, it stayed with me all evening and I’ve no idea why. It wasn’t suggestive, it wasn’t flirtatious, and what’s more to the point, it didn’t have ‘Sebastian Love’ written all over it – not that I’d find that attractive. So why do I feel strangely… smitten? I don’t want him.
Good God, woman, you need a man; this is simply unacceptable.
CHAPTER FIVE
TUESDAY 24TH DECEMBER – CHRISTMAS EVE
The past few days have been lovely. I’ve spent my time skiing with my friends and family, enjoying my favourite parts of Aspen during this festive season, working from home and eating delicious comfort food. It's what Christmas is all about for me.
I haven’t seen Sebastian since the day at Highland Bowl – since his lovely text message to me. It’s not like I’m disappointed or anything, but I wouldn’t have minded if he’d have spent some more time with my family over the past few days; we’re all getting along so well and have had so much fun together recently that I think he’s becoming part of the group, in my eyes.
Once upon a time, I would have been so against that, but having allowed myself to get to know him a little better, I’m warming to his personality a little. Though the minute he becomes lecherous again, I know my previous feelings about him will return.
Today is Christmas Eve and we have a wonderful day planned. Last year, the girls spent the day together, as did the boys, and then they all met up in the afternoon and spent the rest of the day with one another. I couldn’t make it last year because I had work commitments but luckily, this year, I’ve managed to get everything done so that I can spend the day with everybody else.
The girls are coming over here to spend the morning relaxing in front of the fire with coffee and pastries, while the boys have a morning ski. Then we’re going into town to do last minute Christmas shopping and shall meet up with the guys for a late lunch this afternoon, to continue with the new Christmas Eve tradition.
Right now, I’m applying make-up leisurely in my bedroom with a cup of coffee. I always love this time of day, first thing in the morning when it’s just me, early dawn and my thoughts; so tranquil.
I appreciate that not everyone feels the same as me, but the thought of having children running around and screaming at this precious time of the day – this time to mentally prepare and calm your mind for the day ahead – seems abhorrent. I enjoy my life as it is, and as much as I adore Emily and will be totally in love with Clare and Olly’s twins, I really just don’t want that for me. It’s not that I don’t love children; it’s more that parenting is not the lifestyle for me.
~~~~~~~
The morning comes and goes as fast as lightening. Bea, Tilly and I had a great time discussing anything and everything to do with the upcoming wedding next summer, while little Emily rolled and crawled around on the floor playing with soft toys.
It’s going to be an incredible day and I think everybody is looking forward to it immensely. To watch two people so utterly devoted to each other, so completely in love, marry - will be the most incredible experience to witness. It was the same for Tilly and Luke, but of course, Daniel is my brother and I can’t wait to watch him grab hold of the woman he loves more than life to bring her and her world into our family.
I couldn’t have chosen anyone better for my amazing little brother. He’s the truest gentleman with a heart of gold, and had the great fortune of inheriting all of our father’s wisdom and grace to become the man he is today. I count myself lucky each and every day that I am as close to him as I am. There’s nothing like a strong bond between brother and sister and to be able to extend that into the workplace is something I would imagine to be very rare.
We only spent an hour or two shopping before heading out to meet Daniel and Luke for lunch. To my surprise, they brought along their skiing companions from this morning, Matt and Queenie and their little boy, Logan, and Sebastian, and Cole. It was lovely to see them all and to confirm that I’m not going crazy with my change of heart about Sebastian – he really can be a nice guy. I’m still a little mortified about everything he heard and saw of me the other evening, but I’m blocking that out because it never has to happen again. Ever.
CHAPTER SIX
MONDAY 17TH MARCH
Well, it’s been nearly three months since Christmas and I’m back into the swing of normal working life in Los Angeles. But what a Christmas it was. I visit Aspen almost every year but this last one was one of my favourite times, enjoying as our group of family and friends so rapidly expands in such a wonderful way.
Christmas Eve started everything off perfectly with my morning with my sister-in-law-to-be and Tilly, and then moving on into the afternoon with our other friends. We missed Clare and Olly so much, and I really hope they’ll be there to celebrate with us next year, with their babies.
That evening, we did the same as the previous year and had a delicious feast at Daniel and Bea’s house for dinner. It was a very lovely, very sophisticated and memorable night. Matt, Queenie and Logan joined us, as did Sebastian. Cole already had plans, which was a great shame, but I did have a sneaky suspicion that a lady might be involved so I let him off, I’d love to see him find his perfect partner. He’s such a great guy, though – much like Sebastian, I don’t think he’s the ‘settling’ type.
One thing that has stuck with me and played on my mind ever since, though – is a private moment that I encountered with Sebastian, that evening. I had decided not to drink that night because I like to be fresh on Christmas day. Sebastian was driving, so he wasn’t drinking either. As everyone retired to the living room for after dinner drinks around the fire, Sebastian pulled me to the side and asked if I’d take a walk with him to the pool to see it lit up in the dark Aspen evening.
Of course I agreed, intrigued, and as we strolled through the large house with our cups of coffee, we made small talk about nothing particularly relevant. He opened the door to the pool and gestured for me to go ahead of him, which I did.
“It’s beautiful in here at night, huh?”
“I know - I don’t know why we don’t all come to sit in here with our drinks!” I responded, amused, looking at the water in the pool glistening in the warm, very open room, the lights shining through from the snowy terrace outside the huge glass doors.
“Shall we take a seat over here?” he asked, pointing to a couple of loungers by the window.
“Sure.”
Once seated, he continued. “Lex, I wanted to talk to you about the other night.”
“Oh, right… go on.” I said, not sure that I really wanted to hear it.
“I’m sorry if I’ve made you feel uncomfortable.”
I paused for a moment, uncertain if he was going to go on. “Oh, well thank you for your concern, Sebastian, but although I was terribly uncomfortable afterwards, I’m getting used to the fact that it happened and that you’ve seen parts of me that I hadn’t expected you to see… I’m okay, really.”
“You’re sure?”
“Yes, I’m sure. Thank you. No need to worry about me, I was there too, I let it happen.”
“Are you happy that it happened?”
How does one answer that? “Um… I don’t
mind that it happened.”
He nodded silently, his eyes locked with mine, mysteriously. “Okay. Do you think you’d let it happen again?”
“Oh, Sebastian… I…” The truth is, I didn’t even know myself. I was pretty certain I didn’t want it to happen again, but deep down, there was that reminder of how liberated I felt at the time, how sexy it all was. But I didn’t want him to know that, and I also didn’t want to be an ice-cold bitch and just tell him he’s living in cloud cuckoo land if he thinks I’ll allow it to happen again. “I… um…”
“It’s okay, you don’t have to answer.”
“No, I will. To be honest, Sebastian, I really don’t want to hurt your feelings, but I think it would be best for both of us if it didn’t happen again. As enjoyable as it may have been at the time.” That was diplomatic enough, wasn’t it?
He nodded silently and looked down into his coffee, smiling slightly. “I thought as much. Don’t worry about hurting my feelings, Lexie; you’re not. I think I was incredibly lucky to have been allowed to do as much as I did with you. You’re one hell of a lady.” Oh keep going, keep going… “But I respect what you’re saying and accept how you feel.”
I smiled, gratefully, although I felt slightly disappointed that he didn’t throw himself on the floor screaming and shouting in tantrum. “Thank you.”
“I’m glad you agreed to join me in here. I’d hoped to be able to talk to you because we only tend to communicate on a friendly basis when we’re around other people or drunk. I’d like you to like me, sober.”
