Bearing Armen - Book Three

by Brenna Lyons

  She rubbed at her lower back, wincing from the stiffness that stretched from her hips to her shoulders and neck. Her head pounded, and her eyes felt raw.

  “What a mess,” she grumbled. If she looked as bad as she felt, Alyssa could moonlight...daylight as a scarecrow. “A really pregnant scarecrow.”

  Her memories of the night were as fuzzy as her vision. Piecing it together made her headache spike, and she groaned in response.

  Alyssa pushed to her feet and headed for the stairs and, more importantly, the Tylenol in the medicine cabinet. She paused in the entryway, staring at the door in confusion. The knob and top lock were both thrown, but the chain was undone.

  Daniel... A chill coursed over her nerves. The yo-yo effect of her memories returning had her grasping the table, lightheaded.

  A key bit into her hand, and Alyssa picked it up, staring at it in disbelief. She sobbed. He left her; Daniel had walked away and had no intention of returning.

  I told him to. Unlike Tom, Daniel follows their laws to the letter.

  But, she hadn’t wanted him to leave permanently. She’d been upset, confused. Alyssa had just wanted to think.

  She headed for the phone, then faltered. Her reason for sending him away still stood. Could she accept a man who would eventually die fighting beasts?

  Everyone dies.

  Not that way.

  Did it really matter how someone died? Dead was dead, no matter how it happened. Everyone died somehow.

  Many of the better Warriors outlived their wives, and Daniel was undeniably a good Warrior. It was said that the madness of losing a mate was worse even than the madness of losing a son, worse than Tim losing Tom, and she’d seen that. Daniel was willing to take that risk for her. Was she willing to do the same for him?

  Guilt that she couldn’t immediately say ‘yes’ seared her. Alyssa had accepted one Warrior when she wasn’t sure of her feelings. She wouldn’t make that mistake again. Until she could commit to him, wholeheartedly and without reservations, it wasn’t fair to Daniel. She’d only be leading him on.

  But, what if he breaks printing?

  Alyssa ambled to the couch and sank into it, torn. If she waited, she might lose him. If she didn’t wait...

  She gasped. “I’ve been here before.” And, she’d chosen wrong that time. “In the extreme.”

  But, which choice was wrong this time?

  Alyssa stared at the key in misery. I can’t call him until I know which is right, but maybe I can call someone else.

  * * * *

  “Oh, baby,” Jessica gushed. “Are you okay?”

  Alyssa smiled weakly. Okay? She felt as if she’d never be okay again.

  “Have you had lunch yet? You haven’t. Have you?”

  “Guilty.” In truth, she hadn’t managed more than half a slice of toast with jam and half a glass of milk in all the time she’d been trying to convince herself to call Corwyn.

  Jessica slid half of an Anthony’s roast beef sub in front of her. “Eat.”

  “I can’t take your lunch,” she protested.

  “I’ve eaten the other half. This was the half I was saving for tomorrow. It’s never as good the second day.”

  Alyssa mumbled her thanks, managing a single bite.

  Jessica served a regular at the far end of the bar, then returned, leaning across with her arms folded on the top. “So, why are you here? I know you didn’t come to bum lunch.”

  “You... You spend a lot of time with Corwyn,” she hinted.

  To her amazement, Jessica blushed. “A fair amount,” she admitted.

  “You two are...” Alyssa bit her lip. “Never mind. That’s none of my business.” She took another bite of the sandwich.

  “I don’t know what we are to each other,” Jessica sighed.

  “That makes two of us,” Alyssa grumbled through a mouthful of roast beef and cheddar.

  “You and Daniel? Yeah, I heard.”

  Alyssa choked, swallowing painfully, her eyes watering. “You heard what?”

  “That you need time to decide what you want. Daniel’s okay, by the way. His Uncle Nick is keeping an eye on him.”

  She sobbed in relief. “Then he hasn’t decided to...um...” She couldn’t say it.

  “Break printing? No. He told Corwyn that he’d give you the time you need.”

  Her heart warmed at that. Time was one thing Tom hadn’t given her. It was the one thing she wished he had.

  “Better?” Jessica asked.

  Alyssa sobered. “Where exactly did you hear all of this?”

  “Corwyn. He figured you wouldn’t want his company, but he wanted to make sure you were okay. It was a solid bet you’d show up here...eventually.”

  She took another bite, struggling to digest more than the sandwich.

  Jessica set a glass of orange juice in front of her. “You’d have to show up here. Hell! Tia, Mel, and I are the only family you have left. Well, except for your little one.”

  That was the last reminder Alyssa needed, that she was alone, as Tim had accused she was. She sipped the juice.

  “You want him. Don’t you?”

  “You know I do.” There went her appetite, right down the drain. Just the thought of turning down Daniel willingly killed it.

  “And you’re going to let the ghost of Tom ruin that?” It wasn’t an accusation. Jessica seemed genuinely interested in the answer.

  “I...don’t know. It’s not about Tom.”

  Jessica shot her a look that proclaimed she knew better.

  “Okay. It is, in a way, but... If Tom had been a cop in a neighborhood with a ninety-nine percent mortality rate for cops, and Daniel worked in the same neighborhood—”

  Jessica scrunched up her nose. “That is really morbid, Alyssa.”

  “That’s reality, and it scares the hell out of me.”

  “Yeah,” she sighed. “Sooner or later, we all have to face our demons.”

  The door opened, and Jessica looked around at it. “Break’s over,” she announced. “Here comes the demolition crew from down the street.”

  Chapter Forty-three

  April 23, 2050

  Alyssa opened Tom’s toy box, a heavy wooden monstrosity that would look at home in a log cabin, smiling at the earmarks of a lost era tied to the members of an ancient race.

  There was a wooden sacred weapon on top that looked as if it had seen many loving years and more than one owner, maybe even before Tim’s years with it. On close inspection, it almost appeared that it had been used by a teething baby. She gave it a place of honor on the top shelf.

  There were toy soldiers, action figures, superheroes, and more than a few toy weapons. The theme of protectors, those who took an oath to safeguard others, and the means they used to do it, wasn’t lost on her. This was what her son’s life would be, whether he chose to do that duty in Armen or Hunter.

  She laughed at the antique toy garage with the working elevator, accompanied by the collector’s case of vintage Matchbox sports cars. Yet again, her son’s life was being shaped by the playthings representing the tools of the Warrior trade.

  “Boys with toys. Cars and blades, even as toddlers.”

  The vampire dolls brought a new peal of laughter. Tim or Deb had a wicked sense of humor. She suspected that it was Tim.

  Alyssa pulled out a hand-carved music box, marveling at the workmanship put into it. It was gorgeous, precious. Few things were so beautifully crafted. She opened it, interested to hear what music had been chosen for it, rolling her eyes at the computer chip recording of Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me. “Definitely Tim,” she decided, placing it on another high shelf.

  The cardboard box at the bottom held the most amazing treasures, the beloved belongings of an infant Tom. There were teething rings with puppies on them that made her seriously consider getting a dog that would grow up with her son. A Peanuts character mobile with Snoopy, The Flying Ace as a centerpiece followed and then a fuzzy beige teddy bear that felt soft as mink. She se
t the mobile in the crib and placed the other items on the high shelves

  She lifted a paper bag from the box, opening it, laughing and crying at the same time. Tim had bought his son a miniature Warrior outfit, complete with jeans, black shirts, and soft black baby boots. Alyssa would have to send them a picture of the baby dressed in it. She smiled wickedly. He’d be holding Tom’s wooden weapon, chewing on it, if she could arrange it.

  The empty toy box was easy enough to move to the far wall. Alyssa placed the toddler toys back into it and closed the lid, wiping her dusty hands on her jeans. She looked around, noting a job well done. She’d hang the mobile after lunch, then clean the kitchen.

  The phone seemed to beckon her, and Alyssa reached for it, punching the number from memory. It seemed inconceivable that she still remembered it. She’d never used it before she and Tom sealed printing, though he’d left it, along with his cell phone number, with her the morning after he’d saved her, and she hadn’t called it once since he’d died. In fact, she’d only used it once that she could remember.

  It was answered on the second ring with a cheery, “Armen Manor.”

  Her voice seemed to desert her. She’d called to speak to Deb, but Alyssa hadn’t expected her to answer the phone.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Deb,” she managed. “It’s me...Alyssa, I mean.” Just saying that made her feel like an idiot.

  “Alyssa? Are you okay? Is anything wrong?”

  “No. I...I mean, yes, I’m fine. No, nothing is wrong.” I can’t even talk to her without falling all over myself. “I just...called to thank you for the toys...Tom’s toys. They’re wonderful, and I wanted to let you know.”

  “You’re welcome.” There was a moment of silence. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

  “Yes. I...” She cleared her throat. “It’s just being pregnant. You know. You’ve done it a couple of times.”

  “If you’re sure...”

  The punch or kick from inside stole Alyssa’s breath. She’d always heard that babies started with flutters. Or maybe she’d been so preoccupied, she’d missed those movements.

  Deb said something about Tim.

  “Yeah,” Alyssa replied automatically.

  The kicking came again, harder. Alyssa gasped in response to it. She’d known Warrior babies were larger than other babies, more vigorous and hearty, but this was beyond anything she’d expected.

  “Alyssa?” Tim asked worriedly. “Do you need something? Anything?”

  Yes! She wanted to scream out her news, share it with the world.

  Her smile faded. No. She wanted to share it with Daniel. Daniel first, and then the world.

  “Alyssa, are you all right?”

  “Yes. I’m fine. Sorry. I just realized that I’m late getting somewhere.” That wasn’t a lie. She was more than a week late getting there. “Pregnancy-induced senility, I guess.”

  He sighed. “If you want or need anything—”

  “I do...sort of. I’d like some pictures of Tom for the baby. Actually, pictures of you all. Could you... Would you do that for me?”

  There was a moment of silence on the other end. “You know I will. I’ll send them—”

  “No need to. You...you’ll be coming to see the baby when he’s born. Won’t you? You and Deb?”

  There was a sound as if he’d been gut punched. “Call when labor starts. Ani willing, I’d like to give him my blessing.”

  “I will, and I’ll call again soon. Right now...” Her son kicked again. “I have to go.”

  “We’ll be waiting,” he promised.

  Alyssa disconnected, her head spinning. She had to find Daniel and find out if there was still a chance for them. That meant heading to the Hunter manor house. Though she hated manors with a passion, there were some things more important than that. Not screwing up her second chance was one of them. If she wanted a future and a family, she had to settle with the past.

  * * * *

  Corwyn headed toward the sound of Alyssa’s voice, certain he was hearing things. It had been more than a week. Even Daniel had all but given up hope.

  “I need to reach Daniel,” she repeated, more upset than she’d been the first time she’d asked.

  Brad rubbed a hand over the back of his neck. “I’ll have to call Brandon. I don’t have permission to—”

  “I’ve got this one,” Corwyn ordered.

  Alyssa turned to him, managing a weak smile. “Has König decided that I’m a jinx for the Warriors? Or will you take me to Daniel?”

  Brad retreated, seemingly mortified at her tone.

  Corwyn took her hand. “He’s waiting for you. No matter what you have to say, Daniel needs to hear it.”

  “You’re not going to ask me what my answer is?”

  He sighed. “That’s between you and Daniel. It’s really none of my business.”

  “None of your business?” Her tone was one of supreme disbelief.

  “None.”

  “But, you—”

  “I’m a Warrior, Alyssa. I’ll never be lord of a range. I’m not allowed to be one. Cross will be knee-deep in heirs, and as a König, that’s the only range I might have someday claimed. I’ll never be Lord König, because that passes to the mates of the Stone Vessels. I don’t belong anywhere, so if I use my misplaced notoriety to stick my nose where it doesn’t belong, once in a while... Well, that’s a failing of mine, and everyone tolerates it, because the only hierarchy in my life is one I can never rise higher in. In short, it’s none of my business what you’ve chosen.”

  “But, you’ll help me get to Daniel, when Brad said—”

  “Ah, but I know something Brad doesn’t.” He guided her toward the door.

  “For instance?”

  “Brandon would take you to Daniel himself, if he were here to do it, though he might ask what your decision is first. He’s a father, so he worries.”

  She slipped through the open door ahead of him. “And you don’t? I don’t believe that.”

  He smiled. She had him dead to rights, when so few did. “Of course, I do. But, Daniel is a Warrior. He’s not my son to coddle.” Would that I had a son to coddle someday.

  Alyssa seemed to consider that for a moment. “Thanks, Corwyn.”

  “For what?”

  “For not making me tell you first. Daniel deserves to hear it from me.”

  “You’re welcome.” Corwyn paused at the door to his car, feeling oddly at home as he hadn’t since leaving Katie. “Do me a favor.” Gods, but this felt right.

  She stared at him, confused by that request. “You want a favor from me?”

  He nodded, at a loss to explain why this mattered so much to him.

  “Okay,” she stammered. “If I can.”

  “Call me ‘Bear.’”

  “Bear?”

  He smiled. “Corwyn is a tall order to have to live up to. I prefer to be called ‘Bear,’ and all my friends call me that.”

  “Okay. I can handle that.”

  That simply, Corwyn decided that Hunter would probably be his home...as long as Alyssa was about to accept Daniel. If she didn’t, this home would be as broken as any other in the Warrior world.

  * * * *

  “Hey, Daniel,” his Uncle Nicky called out. “It’s for you.”

  He nodded his thanks, plodding barefoot down the stairs toward the living room with a grumbled curse, wondering yet again if tomorrow should be the day he gave up, headed to the mad cabin, and let breaking printing take its course.

  Screw it. Screw Bear and Dad. I can’t live this way much longer.

  No! Doing that would be too close to walking away. I can’t—

  Daniel stopped in the living room doorway, stunned by the sight of her. Alyssa stood at Bear’s side, her hands clasped nervously under the already-larger mound of her son.

  Warrior babies grow so quickly. In a few months, she’ll be huge.

  He itched to touch her, but he had no right to do that. “Alyssa,” he greeted her, his voice
rough, acutely aware that his cock was already erect. Gods, I need that mad cabin. “Was there a reason—”

  She strode to him, grasping his wrist and drawing his palm to her womb. His question died in his throat. For a long moment, he stood absolutely still, breathing in the coconut scent of her shampoo like a man starved.

  Then he felt it.

  Daniel laughed aloud, giddy in joy. “He’s kicking. Dear Ani, he’s kicking. Bear, you have to feel this. He’s so strong.”

  “When I felt it...” Alyssa faltered, her hand cupping his cheek. “There was no one else I wanted to share it with. You had to be first.

  “I was wrong, Daniel. I shouldn’t—” She bit back a sob. “I couldn’t stand it if... When I saw their faces, I knew one of you was hurt or dead. I was so afraid it was you.”

  His heart pounded in a mixture of hope and terror. “And the next time?” he asked. “The next time someone gets hurt?” He held his breath, panning his gaze up to her face, to the tear escaping the corner of her eye and winding down the line of her cheekbone.

  “You’re not Tom,” she whispered.

  “No. I’m not Tom.” He’d tried to tell her that.

  “You’ll...try your best to always come home to me?”

  “If you’re offering a home to come to,” Daniel countered, pouring every ounce of prayer into that near-plea.

  “What... What are you offering?” She seemed painfully unsure.

  Daniel tilted his head and brushed her lips with his own. “I want you to be my wife, my lover...” He stroked her womb. “The mother of my sons.”

  Her eyes widened, and she looked to her womb miserably.

  “You know I love him as my own.”

  “But, Armen still hasn’t agreed to—”

  Bear cleared his throat. “Do you want Daniel to raise your son as his own, Alyssa?”

  She darkened, nodding. “They’re still the baby’s family, though, and I told Tim he could bless... I promised him, Bear. They have a place, but...”

  “Then give me ten minutes.”

  “But, Armen will never agree to—”

  “Tom isn’t alive to be driven mad by the idea of someone else raising his son. Tim will want to see you happy. He’ll want to see his grandson from time to time, and he’ll want the baby to know who his biological father is, have him carry his true family name and amulet. But, he’ll let your son stay here, no matter what happens to you. You have my vow on that.”