Hateful Desire

by Marianne Willis

  Chayton gulped. “When did this happen?”

  “A few months ago, when you went to France. I noticed it in the shower one morning.”

  That long. All this time his friend had kept this big secret. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I would have when you returned, but all that stuff happened with the Keeper Spell and being stuck with Amber. I guess the real reason I neglected to tell you was because a part of me refused to believe the truth. Why would fate grant me a mate who’d die before I had chance to meet her? It doesn’t seem fair. But we’ve heard stories about scars replacing marks, which represent the death of a chosen one. So I guess I can’t deny it any longer.”

  His friend didn’t have a mate. He would never experience the chemistry, the demand to mark, the joyous feeling knowing one woman who was meant for him. “I’m so sorry to hear that, man.”

  Ian shot him a look. “Do you see now? You have a choice, I don’t. Your mate is alive, and she loves you. Who cares about the problems you two have…just go be with her.”

  Did Amber love him? His shoulders slumped. After everything, could they start anew? He wanted to, craved to, hold her close and never let go.

  “Don’t listen to him, Chayton,” a female voice shouted. They wheeled. Stacy panted in the doorway, frowning at the commotion. She stomped out of the exit. “She’s not for you. I know you two share the same marks, but since high school I knew your relationship never would have worked.”

  Chayton straightened. “What?”

  Stacy’s eyes widened, mouth slapping shut.

  “What do you mean since high school?” Ian spared her a quizzical look.

  She licked her lips, and tucked a strand behind her ear. “I just mean, anyone could see they wouldn’t have been a couple.”

  “No…” Chayton shook his head. “What did you really mean?”

  Her brow furrowed, and she averted her gaze to the pavement. “Okay, I’ll admit it.” She exhaled and squared her shoulders. “I saw Amber’s freckles in high school, around the same time we dated. I had been in the girls’ locker room after volleyball practice, and there she was with the very marks I wanted.”

  Chayton clenched his fists by his sides. It took a strong will not to strangle Stacy. “The day after school you cried to me about a perfect world…that was the day, wasn’t it?”

  Her lips twisted and hurt shone in her eyes.

  “You knew all this time and never told me,” he growled out. “Dammit, Stacy. Why?”

  She smacked her hips. “Do you really have to guess? I was so upset after seeing her marks. To think someone so cruel together with the man I loved. To be honest, I hoped you’d never find the bitch. You’re better off alone.”

  “Enough,” he shouted. “I’m so sick of you badmouthing Amber. What you and I had was high school, puppy love. And I still love you, but nothing more than a friend. As for Amber…I’m in love with her. She’s my perfect world.”

  She scoffed, tears brimmed in her eyes. “How can you say that? She’s caused you so much pain. How can you let go of the past?”

  He shrugged, unfazed. “Amber was a young, scared, naive girl in high school, but we never saw that part of her because she put on an act. I regret not trying harder to reach out.”

  “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you.” Stacy wiped at her tears. “But there’s nothing you can do now…it’s over.”

  “You don’t know that,” Ian cut in. “While there is breath in your body, it’s never too late.”

  Even if she didn’t give him a second chance, he must find her, admit his feelings, and clear the air between them.

  He narrowed his eyes at Stacy. “If Amber decides to return to me, I’m warning you…stay away from her. Yes, she hurt you in the past, but you’ve hurt her tenfold. If you hadn’t interfered, she’d still be pregnant. Amber may have made my past a living hell, but you…you’ve destroyed my future.”

  Tears streaked her face and she swallowed hard. “I didn’t realise your feelings were that great. I’m sorry, Chayton. I really am.”

  “You will be…once I demand Howi kick you out of the pack.”

  “But, why, how?” she stammered.

  “You harmed my mate. Once Howi learns the truth of what happened, he’ll agree to boot you out. Remember, you brought this on yourself.”

  Bypassing the sobbing woman, he strolled to Ian and hugged him. His best friend had a tendency to point out Chayton’s mistakes. Letting Amber go was by far his biggest one. “Thank you.”

  Ian patted him. “You’re welcome…now get off me because you’re freezing.”

  With a laugh, he ran through the building to the front of the gym. In his truck, he skidded out of the driveway and onto the main road. He retrieved his phone from the glove compartment, and scrolled the contact list, hitting a name he never thought he’d use.

  “Hello?”

  “Lucas, it’s Chayton.”

  “Chayton? What do you want?”

  “Did you say Chayton?” a female voice said in the background.

  He switched his phone to the opposite side, and steered right. “Lucas, where are you?”

  “I’m at my parents. What is wrong?”

  “I’m coming for one of your flashing potions. I must get to Amber.”

  An exasperated sigh sounded in the line. “Are you insane? Just leave her alone. If she wanted things to work between you, she wouldn’t have left.”

  “Lucas, help him.” The voice sounded like Taylor.

  “Why should I, Ma? After what he did, removing her powers, putting her in the hospital. You’re just mad because Amber put you in your place the other day.”

  She did? He smiled at the thought. “Listen, I restored her powers. She can do magic.”

  “Oh.” Silence met the phone after his surprised response. “Even if I wanted to help, I can’t. The potion needs an earthly substance of the destination…which I don’t have.”

  He almost yanked off the steering wheel. “Dammit. Now what am I going to do?”

  “Amber did send me Tristan and Brianna’s contact details before she left. I can forward them to you.”

  “You’d do that?”

  Another sigh met the line. “Just don’t make me regret this, wolf,” Lucas said and released the call.

  He made a sharp U-turn, screeching the tires. His parents’ house was closer than the cottage. Flocks of birds flew to tall trees, and the orange-pink sunset confirmed how close nightfall approached. “Amber?” he directed the loud thought. “Can you hear me?”

  He tried their link several times, but as suspected, didn’t work. If he had spent time strengthening their bond instead of blaming her for things that weren’t her fault, then maybe she’d be able to hear him.

  His parents’ cars sat in the drive. He parked behind them, and sprinted into the house, his shoes sloshing along the floor. They sat at the table, eating dinner. Their wide eyes observed him, no doubt baffled by his drenched state.

  “Son,” Len said. “It’s so good to see you.”

  “We tried reaching you in the last few days,” his mother added, standing from her seat. “What’s going on, Chayton? We’ve been so worried since Amber left.”

  “There’s something I must tell you both.” He raked a hand in his damp hair, unsure where to start. “I’m going to find Amber. I need to bury the past between us once and for all.”

  “The past?” His father’s brows scrunched with confusion.

  “She bullied me in high school, and for a long time I blamed her for my beating. But I’m telling the truth, what happened wasn’t her fault, and don’t think for one minute she’s responsible.”

  Rosabel crossed her arms. “Chayton, why didn’t you tell us?”

  “Because of the way you treated her. Her parents aren’t the nicest, but you both showed her respect. Every time she saw you guys, I felt her emotions. She cherished you and envied me because I have you for parents. I couldn’t take that from her.”

 
“We’ve come to love Amber as a member of the family.” His father smiled. “We still do.”

  Rosabel hugged him. “Bring her home, son. But before you do, at least clean yourself a bit.” She laughed.

  “Do I still have spare clothes here?”

  She nodded, and pointed in the direction of the bathroom. “Now hurry.”

  He tugged his phone out of his pocket, and made his way into the hall. Lucas had kept his word and forwarded the contact details. He hit the number of the one who could help him.

  “Allô?”

  “Tristan? Remember when you said you wished you could help me…well, now’s your chance.”

  ****

  Amber leaned into the brass arm of the camelback sofa, and examined the red polish of her toenails. Brianna snatched the small bottle off the grey marble coffee table, shook it, and applied a second coat. Brows knitted in concentration as she brushed even strokes.

  A candle flickered from one of the sconces; its design resembled golden tree branches, coiling out of the rocky walls. The room remained shadowed with what little light it shed.

  At first, the darkness and antique furniture in the cave setting seemed eerie, but in the last few days Amber recognised the romantic appeal. The guest suite she’d been given was very similar.

  For years she had heard so much about this place and desired to visit, but despite the beauty of the underground cave, she wasn’t thrilled to finally be here.

  Time with her cousin was wonderful, and she cherished every moment, but if under different circumstances, perhaps she’d be more excited. “This place is so nice, secluded, peaceful...”

  “I didn’t think so at first, but it’s grown on me.” Brianna cocked her head. “You, however, like it here because you get to run from the real world.”

  She shrugged, sighing. “If I could, I’d stay hidden forever.” A part of her missed the little wooden cottage, and most of all, Chayton. How was he coping? Had he moved on like she told him, perhaps with Stacy? The thought slashed at her heart.

  “You can stay for however long you wish.” Brianna tilted her chin.

  The way Brianna spoke had changed. Amber guessed living in a cave with ancient vampires did that. “Thanks.”

  “Besides,” her cousin chuckled. “I doubt this place will remain peaceful once Tristan and I start having children.” The polish brush hovered above her toe. Brianna cringed. “I’m such an idiot, Amber. The last thing you’d need to hear right now—”

  She waved her hand. “Stop, I’m fine. I’m so happy for you. You and Tristan will make great parents, and hopefully soon.”

  The glass bottle clicked with the marble when Brianna placed it down. Her cousin wrapped her in a hug. “You’re going to be okay. You’ll see. I thought life would be impossible without Rachel, but even though it’s painful, I’m coping each day. You can too.”

  Amber glanced at the ceiling. The empty ache in her chest pulsated at the thought of her deceased cousin, and a single tear tickled along her cheek. “I miss her so much.”

  Brianna veered back. “I miss her, too.”

  “I wished I had been honest with her. She’d only ever seen the fake me.”

  Brianna laughed, the sound confounded. “What do you mean?”

  A cold sweat broke out along her nape. “I lied about the men in my life.” Unable to stare her cousin in the eye, she studied the pattern on the antique sofa.

  “My first time was with Chayton. I just pretended to be who I was to hide behind my insecurity. The truth is I hate being a failure, and I’m always paranoid about my appearance and what people think.” She sniffled, and at last met Brianna’s gaze.

  Her cousin blinked. “I don’t understand. You’ve always been a confident person, and very open about your sexuality. Are you saying everything was a lie?”

  She couldn’t face her cousin, witness the disappointment in her eyes. Not with the intense tumble dryer of emotions pummelling within.

  “Oh, Amber.” Slim arms rounded her, and Amber sobbed at the comforting gesture. “I guess I understand why you acted the way you did. It mustn’t have been easy being raised by Taylor. But I wish you would’ve told us. We loved you no matter what.”

  “I see that now, and I love you, too.”

  Brianna puffed out a quivering breath. “No more tears. You know what? You and I are going to the café in the town square and ordering a chocolate soufflé.”

  Amber puffed out a quick, calming breath. “You’ve bragged about this soufflé for days now.”

  “Trust me, this is worth bragging about.” Brianna straightened from the sofa and slipped into a pair of flats. “Are your toes dry? If not, you could always go barefoot. I doubt anyone will notice under these gowns.”

  Amber flexed her toes, and with a gentle finger tested the polish. “No, all dry.”

  The black lace gown flared past her feet when she stood. Its style was of majestic quality, hanging off one arm and hugging her curves. She slipped into a pair of small heels, and entered the hallway with Brianna.

  The sling she had worn around her arm was no longer needed, and her leg rarely ached. The maze-like corridors still confused her, but she followed her cousin, admiring the many torches along the rocky interior. Stalactites hung from the ceiling, and brown and charcoal colours glimmered in the light.

  When they entered the town square, the place buzzed with vampires who ambled about the shops. Some seated at restaurants and some with groups of humans.

  A class of children in grey uniforms sat in a circle near the grand staircase, all eyes on the teacher in front of them.

  “Huh,” Brianna huffed. “I thought Tristan said he’d be here. I wanted to ask him to join us.”

  Amber observed their surroundings for the handsome vampire, and pointed ahead. “Isn’t that one of his brothers?”

  Her cousin twisted. “Yeah. Mikel. You know he hated me when I first arrived here, but now we’re on good terms.” They marched toward the tall vampire, and he stopped in his stride when they approached.

  “Brianna, how are you?” He tugged at the collar of his stylish grey suit.

  “Very well. You met my cousin the other night, yes?”

  He nodded with a pleasant smile. “I did; nice to see you again.”

  Vampire men were definitely handsome, even Mikel with his brown medium-wave hair and sharp features. Why couldn’t she have been mated to one of the French vampires? It would have worked out for the better; she could have had a life-partner and lived with her cousin.

  “You, too.” Amber nodded. No, she wasn’t sorry about the bond she shared with Chayton. What they had was beautiful…even if it had been short-lived. It was her past she regretted, and the fact she let that same history abolish her future.

  “Have you seen Tristan? I thought he would be here.”

  Mikel rubbed his chin. “No, sorry. I just came from visiting Cynthia.”

  Brianna paled at the mention of the vampire woman. Her cousin told her Cynthia had been a great friend when Brianna first arrived here, but she was also the one responsible for setting Maurice free the night of the Armistice Celebration.

  If the vampire hadn’t released Maurice, then Rachel would still be alive. Brianna, however, did not blame Cynthia. Instead, she pitied the heartbroken woman.

  “How is she?” Brianna clenched her hands together, the pressure turning her knuckles white. “I tried seeing her, but she’s refused to meet with me.”

  Mikel whipped his dark, wavy hair from his eyes. “Don’t take this personally, Brianna. She is ashamed, blames herself for your sister’s death.”

  “But I don’t hold her responsible. Maurice tricked her, made her believe he was sane. When you see her next, tell her I’d like to see her, if she’d let me.”

  He nodded. “I will.” His brown eyes widened at something past their heads. “Look.”

  They whirled. Two bodies flickered like bad static from an antenna reading.

  “Someone is flashing here,
” Brianna stated and stepped forward.

  “Tristan,” Mikel said. “But who’s with him?”

  Amber squinted at the men who materialised in front of an old brick building, especially the one with long dark hair, and coffee skin. “Impossible,” she breathed. She clutched her dress, lifting the hem, and stalked forward. Chayton was here.

  As if sensing her, his rushed conversation with Tristan ceased, and his dark eyes found and held hers. Tristan patted his back, perhaps encouraging him.

  Why was he here?

  Chayton stalked toward her, and she did everything in her power to keep her trembling legs stable.

  “Hello,” he said when he approached.

  She took in his appearance. His hair was untamed. Had he been running his fingers through the strands repeatedly? The dark shade of stubble on his jaw was an apparent indication he hadn’t shaved in days. Denim pants hugged his muscular thighs, thighs she remembered propelling her own apart when he made sweet, gentle love to her.

  She shrugged one shoulder, the lace material caressing her skin. “What are you doing here?”

  He captured her hands, and the tremble in his fingers quivered her own. “The day you left, I swallowed my pride and said goodbye, believing I’d be doing you a favour. But I wasn’t honest, not with myself, and more important, not with you. I've judged you based on the person you used to be, and not the loving woman you've grown into.”

  His lips quirked into a smile. “You’re amazing, Amber Johnson. And you may never trust me, but even so, I’m so very sorry for being selfish. For the past seven years I’ve held you responsible for a tragedy you had no part in. I’ve treated you as a pawn in the competition for leader, without realising I’ve already won just by having you in my life.”

  Her chin trembled, and tears seeped from her eyes. This had to be a dream. No way was Chayton here, saying such beautiful things.

  “I feel as if you’ve placed me under the Keeper Spell all over again because being separated is complete torture. I’m miserable. And this might make me sound like an egotistical jerk, but I hope you’re unhappy, too, because I need you. Please, don’t make me live the rest of my life without you.”