From One Night to Wife
Page 14
Now she sat alone and shuddered, despite the warm night air, thinking of that moment again. His ruthless streak was back in play—and it looked permanent.
Behind her she heard movement, but refused to turn and look. Finally Nikos’s brooding silence snapped her willpower and she turned, bracing herself for his stormy mood.
‘What do you want, Nikos?’ She sighed as she spoke, too weary for an argument, but she had to remain strong—just for a little while longer. Once she was home she could let the tears fall.
It hurt that he thought she had used the baby as a bargaining tool to get what she wanted from him when all along it was he who’d done that. First it had been his lies, and then his heartless demands for marriage and the terms attached. He’d known she had no alternative but to accept—he was that cruel. What had happened to him to make him like that?
He moved to stand in front of her, his tall and broad frame blocking the small amount of light and darkening everything. She looked up at him, saw the hardness he preferred everyone to see well and truly back on display.
‘I want my child, Serena. You should not have come here expecting to strike a bargain with me. I will not make a deal for the right to be a father.’
Each word dripped with icy-cold disdain and her heart sank. All her dreams, every little bit of hope she’d had that her love would be enough for them both, slipped into oblivion. There wasn’t hope any more...and there certainly had never been love.
‘I found out too late that you were a powerful businessman—one with a ruthless heart—and I wish so hard I’d known sooner. If I had I would not have come. You lied from the moment we first met. I thought you were a different person. But he doesn’t exist, does he, Nikos? He was just what you wanted me to see. He was just a way to seduce me.’
She looked up at him, her gaze meeting the frozen core of his eyes. She shivered, despite the humid heat of the night. He’d seduced her, lied to her, and now wanted to put terms on the life they’d created.
‘You are a journalist. What was I supposed to do? Hand you my life story and stand back and wait for it to be splurged around the globe?’
Arrogance poured from his voice and she looked harder at him, trying to see the man she’d thought she’d fallen in love with. But he was gone.
‘A travel writer hardly constitutes a journalist. What are you so afraid of? Why are you hiding away?’ She couldn’t understand why he was so anxious about the press. Although they had been interested in them in Athens...true. ‘A high-powered businessman like you must understand their interest—especially when you’ve just secured a big deal.’
His eyes narrowed and he inhaled deeply, his furious gaze never leaving hers. ‘I am not afraid of anything. I simply prefer to keep my private life private.’
‘You mean your mother?’ Curiosity piqued, she pushed further than she would have done before. What did she have to lose? Nothing. She was leaving.
‘By acknowledging my past I would be bringing my mother back into my life and I have no wish to do that—no matter how hard she tries.’
‘Why do you want to shut her out of your life? She is your mother.’
‘She gave up that right when she walked out.’
The fierceness of his words weren’t lost on her, but she had no intention of engaging further in this discussion. All she wanted to do was leave. She’d tried to love him, tried to be what he needed, but she couldn’t do it any more.
‘I cannot stay here—not like this.’ She gestured around her at the luxury of the villa, which must be staffed for him to have had it all lit up and ready for their arrival.
Indignation began to bubble up, bringing all her childhood insecurities with it. She looked at his brooding expression, her gaze locking with his, and wondered how she’d ever thought he was a gentle, loving fisherman.
His blue eyes almost froze, they were so glacial, and his jaw clenched, hardening the contours of his face until he looked as if he’d been chiselled from stone.
‘There is one thing we need to get clear. You will not challenge my decisions.’
Each icy word hung in the air, freezing around them, reminding her of the kind of winter morning in England when her breath would linger in a white mist, suspended in the cold air.
Serena blinked hard a few times, trying to focus her gaze and see the real Nikos where he stood now, shrouded in the amber light from his villa’s garden. The man she’d fallen in love with three months ago, given her heart and her virginity to, had never existed. Just as the man who’d filled her nights with such passion this past week didn’t exist. This cold, ruthless man was the real Nikos.
She couldn’t stay here—not just in the villa, or on the island, but in Greece. She would rather go home to England and face her family’s disapproval and disappointment at her pregnancy than commit not only herself but her child to a life dominated by him. She hoped Sally would be behind her...that they could find another way to fund more IVF. Nikos couldn’t be the only option. He just couldn’t be.
She wanted to tell him she was leaving, but the words wouldn’t come as he stepped towards her. His handsome face had softened slightly, giving her a tiny glimpse of the man she wanted him to be, and she had to remind herself it was just her imagination.
‘You can live in London, if that pleases you, and still have the money you require for your sister. But you will become my wife.’
His hand reached out, his fingers stroking her cheek, and she closed her eyes against the throb of desire which burst to life deep inside her.
‘I can’t, Nikos.’ She opened her eyes as her voice whispered her inner turmoil. ‘I can’t live like that and I can’t marry you.’
To accept those terms wouldn’t be brave—it would be foolish. She’d be bringing her child up with the same insecurities and guilt that she’d had. Far better for one parent to raise their baby and love it completely than for it to realise one day that it was responsible for two unhappy lives.
‘I don’t want my child to be illegitimate. This is my heir.’ His hand snapped back and he straightened, towering above her, dominating the very air she breathed.
‘Our baby is not something to strike a deal over. I will not marry you, Nikos. I have made a big mistake and I am leaving—right now.’
CHAPTER ELEVEN
A SCORCH OF rage so intense it froze him to the spot hurtled through Nikos. She was leaving. Memories of the disappointment he’d felt as a young boy combined like thick syrup with the anger for his mother that he’d carried for most of his life. He’d loved his mother, just as any boy would, but the total devastation of being abandoned by the one woman who should never have turned her back on him had scarred him deeply. So deeply he’d never intended to commit himself emotionally to anyone.
But Serena had changed things.
The pain that gripped him now as he looked down at Serena was new and far more intense. He fought hard not to feel anything for her. But he couldn’t stop whatever change she’d brought about. Already he knew there was a gap in his life just from thinking of her walking away. And it wasn’t because she’d take with her his child, deprive him of being a proper father. There was something else too—something he just couldn’t accept. Not now she was leaving.
‘That is not what you agreed.’
The words were squeezed out between gritted teeth as he stood, rigid with anger, watching as she got up and walked towards him, her face imploring.
‘I didn’t agree to anything other than going to Athens with you.’
She stopped a little way from him, as if sensing that his anger would burn her as much as it consumed him.
‘You wear my ring.’
He still couldn’t move. Serena had walked away from him once because of his cold words, and now she was intent on doing it again.
‘That doesn’t m
ean anything, Nikos—not when it was given to me as part of the show you were putting on for your business acquaintances at the party. And let’s not forget the press. All you wanted to do was avoid gossip and press speculation because of your takeover bid.’
She looked at the ring on her finger. Her hair, which glowed with fire beneath the golden lights, fell like a curtain on either side of her face, cutting him out. Despite the bitter anger which bubbled inside him he wanted to reach out, to push it back and tuck it behind her ear as he’d so often seen her do.
She shook her head and her hair shimmered, then she looked up at him, her expression open and pained. ‘You can’t even defend that, can you?’
‘Why should I have to defend it?’
Something snapped and he finally moved—but not towards her. He marched away, into the open-plan kitchen, before turning to face her.
‘Do whatever you have to do, Serena, but remember this. You will never keep me from my child.’
Her head shot up, her green eyes so wide and so dark. She flung her hands out in exasperation, palms up. ‘You never wanted a child—you admitted that much. If you hadn’t lied to me about who you were I would never have come back.’
‘What do you mean, you would never have come back?’
‘An astute businessman can hold his own, but a fisherman eking out a living is different.’ Her eyes were fiercely hot as she glared indignantly at him.
‘Is it? A father is a father, no matter what he does.’
‘Damn it, Nikos, I came back because I thought you had a right to know—that even if you couldn’t or didn’t want to be a proper father to my baby you would know you had a child.’
She paused and he waited for the inevitable.
‘It’s not going to work. I can’t live like this, Nikos. I can’t do it to my child—not when I know how it feels to be the mistake that forced your parents together.’
The passion in her voice struck a chord in his heart, touching something lying deep and dormant within him. But it also angered him. She’d grown up with two parents. How could she stand there and lay the blame on them because she wanted to leave now?
‘The mistake?’ He heard his voice rise and saw her shoulders stiffen, as if to deflect the word. He wasn’t the only one hiding things.
‘Yes, the mistake. My sister is eight years older than me, and by the time she started school my parents’ marriage was already falling apart. They had even separated—not that they ever told me. Sally and I talked about it as we grew up. She became more like a mother to me.’
A pang of guilt plucked at him as he stood taking in this information. ‘But your mother didn’t leave. She didn’t just turn and walk away.’
He couldn’t help but make the comparison. At least she’d had a family—the one thing he’d hungered after all his life. His inability to love or be loved had always managed to destroy his chances of getting what he’d wanted. He’d done it again this evening, when he’d brushed aside those dreaded words of love.
‘No, she didn’t leave. But she made it abundantly clear that she had only stayed with my father because of me. They had separated, and I was the result—or, as you would say, the consequence of an attempt at reconciliation. Because they stayed together, bound in an unhappy marriage, she blamed me for everything that was wrong in her life.’
‘Wouldn’t she have stayed for your sister too?’ He tried to pour rational thought onto Serena’s raw words—something he could never do for himself.
‘Not when she was old enough to be sent away to school—which she wished they’d do. Instead my parents moved us and tried to make a new start. But it didn’t work. It didn’t change a thing. My father still saw other women, covering his tracks with ever more elaborate lies, and my mother still resented me—her mistake.’
The comparison didn’t go unnoticed. ‘And is my baby your mistake?’
She glared at him, waves of anger coming from her, and he knew the answer before she even said it. It was exactly as he felt. The baby they’d created that night hadn’t been planned, but neither was it a mistake. He was prepared to do anything for it.
He didn’t ever want his child to think it was a mistake. His lack of family as a boy made him want to give his child all he’d never had. Which was exactly what he’d intended to do as he’d stood there, anger simmering, the day he’d got that text from Serena.
‘Coming back here has been my mistake.’
Who was this cold woman? Every last trace of warmth had left her and she stood like an ice queen, strong and determined before him.
‘I don’t want my child to grow up wearing the label of a mistake. I want it to be happy. But that will never happen because its parents will be constantly arguing. I’ve seen it all before, Nikos, and I won’t do it to our child.’
He saw her hands gripping each other tightly, felt the heated anger of her explanation in every word.
She was right. They couldn’t live together—not happily. He’d have to accept that being the part-time father of a happy child was the only and best solution.
‘Very well. I shall make arrangements for you to return to England today.’
If she was planning to walk away from him then he’d make the arrangements for her. It would give him back control—make the decision his as much as hers.
She looked momentarily dazed. What had she expected him to do? Beg her to stay? He’d done that with his mother but she hadn’t listened. Why should Serena be any different?
He hadn’t even been able to call her name after their passionate night on the beach. He’d watched her walk away and despite the way she’d made him feel, the things she’d made him want, had remained steadfastly silent.
‘Thank you.’
She pulled the engagement ring from her finger and walked towards the table, which had now been set for breakfast. She placed the ring on the polished wood.
‘I have all my belongings with me. I don’t need to go back to Athens for anything. If you’ll excuse me? I want to shower and change.’
Her big green eyes held his and he saw her lips press together, hinting that she wasn’t as strong as she wanted him to think. Then he looked at her dress, rumpled from their passionate tumble on the bed. Had that really happened? It seemed like days—weeks, even—since they’d been at his grandmother’s and she’d laughed and smiled. It didn’t seem possible that it had only been a short time ago that she was seducing him, tormenting him so wildly with her body.
Those three words, seemingly harmless, had done nothing more than suffocate what they’d shared since returning to Athens. It had all been an act of convenience—one to secure her sister’s future along with her child’s. She had gone too far when she’d said she loved him. And if that wasn’t harsh enough she’d tried to back it up later—as if he would fall for such nonsense. It had been the last straw.
He watched her walk into the bedroom and clenched his hands into tight fists. He would not beg—not even to make arrangements for his child’s future. He’d never beg for anything from a woman.
* * *
Serena closed the bedroom door, shutting out the black mood that had Nikos in its grip, and sat on the bed, totally shocked that just a short time ago they had been there, making love. Everything had been fine until she’d told him she loved him. She’d tried to be brave, tried to grasp love and hold it, hoping he would be infused by her love for him and help her to create a happy home for the baby. She had been wrong. So very wrong.
With a sigh she got up and slipped out of her dress and headed for the shower. It might be just superficial, but she had to wash Nikos away—scrub him from her skin as well as her mind. She had a baby to think about now, and whatever else happened she was determined her baby would grow up and never for one moment question if it had been a mistake that had altered her life.
 
; Refreshed from the water, and dressed in loose-fitting trousers and a top for travelling, she emerged from the bedroom. Daylight caressed the horizon and Nikos was standing outside by the edge of the pool. Her heart constricted as she looked at him. The rigid set of his shoulders warned her there wouldn’t be any last-minute admissions of need, let alone love. Nothing had changed. Nikos didn’t need anyone and he certainly didn’t want to love anyone.
He turned as if he’d sensed her. ‘I have arranged for you to be on the first flight available to London.’
So this was it. It was really goodbye.
He didn’t even seem concerned about what would happen once the baby was born, proving she’d been wrong to try and make things work. This past week had been all about control and power. His control and power.
‘When?’ The word was firm and sharp as she held on to her emotions, and if it made her sound cold and heartless then so much the better.
He looked at his watch, the movement snagging her attention. ‘A taxi will be here any minute.’
She nodded her acceptance. The sooner they were apart the better.
‘Serena...?’
He said her name as a question and turned to look at her just as the engine of the taxi could be heard on the other side of the garden wall.
Her heart pounded so hard she could hardly breathe. She willed him to speak, willed him to tell her to stay, to say that he’d realised he couldn’t live without her, that he loved her. She wanted to go to him, to place her hand on his arm, to look into his eyes and whisper, Yes, Nikos, what is it?
‘Your taxi.’ The words cracked from him like shots from a gun. ‘My solicitor will write to you about the baby.’
His solicitor? Had they moved to that level already? Well, two could play that game. She pulled her notepad from her bag and scribbled her address down, tore out the page and handed it to him.
For a moment he didn’t move, just glared at her. Even the morning chorus of the birds quietened, as if they sensed the seriousness of the moment. Then he took the piece of paper and without looking at it folded it and put it in his pocket.