Never and Always (Emerson Book 6)

by Maureen Driscoll

  “We should find Wes and Violet,” said Robert, who stood and held out his hand for Letty to take.

  She hesitated a moment and Robert was on the verge of sitting back down with her and spending the supper hour with the children before finding a secluded spot to take Letty where they could continue their explorations. But that would lead only to heartache. So, it was with relief that Letty rose and placed her hand in his.

  Navigating the servants’ stairs down to the ballroom was a tricky thing and an awkward reminder to both of them that he could never have a normal life. They said nothing but held hands throughout the journey. It was only when they re-entered the ballroom where others could see them that they finally parted.

  Robert looked around for Violet and Wes. He finally saw them slip back into the ballroom from the terrace. Robert narrowed his eyes and would speak to Wes later about the impropriety of such an action.

  “Lorton,” said Wes, who looked as tormented as Robert felt. “Please escort Violet into supper. Unfortunately, I must make my excuses and depart.”

  “But why?” asked Violet.

  Wes could not meet her eyes, and Lorton was just as curious about the explanation as Violet must be. It would be highly irregular and no doubt remarked upon to see Violet spend supper without a gentlemen by her side. But before he could demand an explanation, Wes moved Violet away just enough for a quiet few words.

  Fortunately, Robert had excellent hearing.

  Wes leaned in to Violet. “I would like to stay, but cannot. I hope to explain one day. Enjoy the rest of your evening. You look beautiful.” With that, he bowed and tore himself away.

  All at once, Violet’s face reflected shock, disbelief, love and anger. She was stunned for a moment until Letty put her arm around her friend’s waist. “Come with us to supper. Everything will be well. I promise.”

  Robert was not so sure, but he gave an arm to each lady and they made their way to the dining room. He could see the curious stares of the Kellingtons and Emersons as they entered, along with the smug gazes of some of the vultures of the ton. Almost everyone would have noticed who had escorted Violet onto the floor for the coveted supper waltz. They would now wonder why Wes was nowhere to be found.

  Robert rather wondered himself. But it was up to him now to entertain both ladies. The one who was like a sister to him and the one he wished he could kiss again.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

  Fidem’s Farm, Marston Vale, 1837, Spring, Two Years Later

  Robert had been raised in an aristocratic home, had been educated at the finest institutions dedicated to producing England’s next generation of leaders and would one day have the title of Marquess of Selden. Yet, as he found himself wading through mud and other substances in his stables, his cravat askew, his country clothes covered with dirt, he realized he had never felt as much at home.

  “She’s likely to foal tonight, tomorrow at the latest, milord,” said Milton, Robert’s head groom. The man was missing an eye and three fingers on his left hand, the results of battlefield injuries. But he knew horses better than any man alive. And Robert was thankful the Emerson’s longtime solicitor, Mr. Olson, had found Milton, who’d been wasting away in the stews of London.

  The one-time request for Fidem’s stud services for Mr. Harris had resulted in additional solicitations from nearby villages. Soon enough, Robert was getting so many requests he was able to buy the land adjacent to Lord Edward’s farm. For the past eighteen months, Robert had lived in a farmhouse he was slowly restoring and had overseen the births which had resulted from his very prolific stallion.

  Robert earned so much from Fidem’s amorous activities that he had been able to hire almost a dozen men drawn from the ranks of Mr. Olson’s men who were hard workers but down on their luck. Robert paid them well and was quite happy with their work.

  “Keep an eye on her,” said Robert to Milton, as he patted the pregnant mare’s neck. “And call me as soon as she begins to labor.”

  “Aye, milord,” said Milton, who began to refill her trough with fresh water.

  Robert carefully made his way out of the barn, knowing just how slick the mud could be. He walked over to the high gate, which separated the field where Fidem roamed, from the paddock and the barn. The stallion was standing nearby, as if he knew he would soon be a father. Robert grabbed an apple, split it in two, then put his hand out to offer half to his horse.

  Fidem obediently came trotting over. He snuffled the apple out of Robert’s hand and chomped on it, even as Robert took a bite of his own. “You should be the one feeding me apples, given the way I keep finding ladies for you.” He reached over and rubbed the stallion’s neck. Robert had never tried to ride the horse, despite their mutual fondness. He knew Fidem would never injure him on purpose, but he was afraid the stallion wouldn’t know what to do with a rider who couldn’t sit a horse in a normal fashion.

  So far, his only riding had been done with Sadie on the Emerson farm.

  And that made him think of Letty. That wasn’t unusual. She was rarely out of his thoughts. He still corresponded with Colin, who shared news of all the family. And he still attended the summer reunions at either Lynwood Manor or at the Emerson’s home. He and Letty had never spoken of their kiss. But it was always there, just beneath his thoughts.

  “Milord?” Tom, a footman in training, approached. “Milord, there’s a lady to see ye.”

  It was probably Violet on her way back from attending to a birth. Mayhap he should get her opinion on when the mare would foal.

  “’er name is Lady Leticia. Said she’s ‘ere to discuss a practical matter.”

  Letty was here? To discuss a practical matter? She visited Violet on occasion, but Robert had not known of a planned trip. He had always both looked forward to and dreaded those visits. He loved seeing her and talking to her, but it was also difficult to be that close to her, knowing they could be nothing more than friends.

  Fidem whinnied in protest of being ignored. Robert gave the stallion one more pat, then headed back to the house.

  * * *

  Letty could not remember being this anxious before. She had taken a great risk in coming here, but she’d had little choice. Robert had politely but firmly brushed her aside each time she had seen him. He might think he had finally dissuaded her, but it only made her more determined in her mission. He was going to marry her. In her mind, it was already settled.

  His efficient staff had already taken her pelisse and settled her in his drawing room. His eager to please butler, Mason, told her he would ring for tea as a footman went to fetch Lord Lorton. All Letty had to do was wait in the room which could use a lady’s touch. A pillow here and there, possibly a soft rug in front of the fireplace where they could lie together and…

  She shook her head to clear it. She really needed to stop reading Rose’s books. But she did know she and Robert could be very happy here.

  If he would only let them.

  Her thoughts were interrupted by Robert’s arrival. He looked like he had come straight from his stables, other than changing his boots. His hair was windswept and it made him look even more handsome than usual. She wanted nothing more than to kiss him, but knew she must not do anything to make him suspect her true intentions for being here.

  “Letty,” he said. “What are you doing here?”

  “That is no way to greet an old friend,” she said as she rose and curtsied to his bow.

  “Please sit down,” he said as he followed her to a chair near the settee, his curiosity evident. “You are always most welcome, of course. I am just surprised Violet did not tell me you were coming.”

  “It was a bit of a surprise to Violet, as well.” Though once she arrived and told Violet of her plans, her friend was completely supportive. She smiled at the butler as he brought in the tea tray. “Thank you, Mason. Robert, you take your tea with milk and two teaspoons of sugar, do you not?” she asked, knowing fully well that was how he took it. After all, she had studied him fo
r years.

  “Yes. Is everything well at home?”

  “Quite well. But I have a favor to ask.”

  Robert looked a bit wary. “You know I will grant you anything within reason.”

  “I am looking for employment.”

  “Excuse me?”

  “Employment. I want to feel useful. And while I enjoy helping with the children at home, I would like to experience more of the world before I marry.”

  Robert almost took a sip of his tea, but stopped when she said marry. “Have you chosen a gentleman to be your husband?”

  She had chosen him years ago. “We are speaking of my choice of employment. I would like to be your personal secretary.”

  Robert now spilled a bit of the tea. “That is out of the question.”

  “You said you would grant me anything within reason. By working for you, I can stay with Violet’s family, enabling us to have a nice long visit, but I could also pay them for my board.”

  “They would never take money from you and you know that.”

  “I do not wish to be a burden to them. And in case you are worried, I’m not asking for a permanent position, just one long enough to get you organized…”

  “I am perfectly organized.”

  “I shall be the judge of that. It will also give me a taste of the broader world, away from my family. I love them dearly, but if I am to adjust to married life well I should spend at least a small amount of time away from them.”

  “You keep on referring to a future husband. You should tell me who he is so I can tell you if he is deserving.”

  “I shall make my own decisions about the worthiness of my future husband, thank you very much. How is Fidem faring?”

  “Quite well. He has sired six foals this spring and we continue to get offers.”

  “I am glad to hear it. I assume you are keeping good records regarding the lineage of the mares, as well as making inquiries on how well his offspring fare?”

  He hesitated before answering. “I hadn’t asked all that much about the mares. Fidem hasn’t shown himself to be particularly choosy in his mates. As for his descendants, I occasionally receive thank you notes from the…”

  “This is just as I suspected. You are more concerned with the daily operations than the long-term growth of the enterprise. You will be able to get more money for Fidem’s services if you can show how well his offspring fare. Contacting those who previously used his services will be my first order of business.”

  “You cannot write those letters! It would be scandalous to discuss such matters with other gentlemen.”

  “Of course those letters will not be from me. You will sign them. All I will do is draft them and present them for your signature. All my letters to Violet over the years resulted in excellent penmanship.”

  “Letty, we cannot do this.”

  “Why not?”

  “A young lady does not take on a profession. If word got out, you would be ruined.”

  “I do not care what the ton thinks. And I certainly will not allow its members to keep me from work I feel would be interesting.”

  “You do not need the money.”

  “I do not recall asking for a salary.”

  “You cannot work for free.”

  “Very well, I am asking for twenty pounds per annum.”

  “That is rather a lot.”

  “I am quite certain I will be worth it. And since I do not plan on working more than six months, you would only be out ten pounds. Surely, you can afford that.”

  An exasperated Robert looked up at the ceiling. “It is not that you are not worth it or that I cannot afford it. It is just highly improper for you to have a position at all. Especially when it is on a stud farm and working for a bachelor.”

  “But you made it clear you are not interested in marrying me, did you not?”

  He looked at her warily. “I did.”

  “Then I cannot imagine how this would be a problem. And you would not deny me the chance to stay with Violet, would you?”

  “No.”

  “Excellent.”

  “Did Colin agree to this?”

  Not exactly. “You do not trust me at all, do you? Colin knows I am here visiting Violet. And her parents know I will be working on your farm.”

  “How can they already know that when I didn’t already know that?”

  “Where shall I begin?”

  Robert paused long enough that Letty was nervous he would send her away. Even she had her pride. She could not keep coming back here if he truly didn’t want her. At least she could not do it more than two or three times.

  He sighed. “I will show you where I have put the correspondence. And I will tell Mason to set another place for luncheon.”

  Letty grinned. “I look forward to beginning.”

  CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX

  Two weeks after being coerced into hiring Letty, Robert’s world had been turned upside down. Yes, she had done an admirable job of sorting his correspondence and setting up a filing system more useful than his old one. But that wasn’t a particularly tall order since his old system had consisted of mostly throwing papers into boxes. Now she had them neatly categorized and cross-referenced. He wondered how she had the knowledge to do such a thing.

  “Books,” she replied. “Colin has books on how to organize necessary papers. They are written for land stewards, but the principles can be applied to almost any enterprise.”

  “I would think you’d spend most of your time reading novels.”

  “I read my fair share,” she admitted. “But it is important to keep learning, especially when most girls do not have the opportunity to attend school. Ava was a wonderful teacher and supports my continuing efforts. Your library is quite admirable considering you have only been here for two years.”

  “Thank you. As you know I am a great reader. The proceeds of Fidem’s efforts have not just gone into running the farm. He has bought a few books, as well. You are welcome to read any of them.”

  “Thank you. I will do so as soon as I categorize the library.”

  So she added that task to her long list of duties. For it wasn’t just his filing system she had begun to put in order. She was slowly expanding her efforts to include his household. After discovering that a tablecloth needed mending, she had asked his butler to show her the linen closet. She had then dedicated an afternoon to sorting what needed to be mended, as well as compiling a list of items he should purchase. She had gently instructed his housekeeper Mrs. Phillips on the finer arts of running a home. Poor Mrs. Phillips had spent much of her life in a mill before coming to work for him. But after a few hours of Letty’s kind instructions, Mrs. Phillips was as fond of her as the rest of the staff.

  Even Fidem liked her. Robert and Letty walked the farm twice a day. After watching her warily from a distance, the stallion finally approached them one crisp afternoon. “You really are magnificent, aren’t you?” she said to the horse. “No wonder the ladies like you so much.”

  She reached into her pocket and pulled out three large cubes of sugar, then held out her hand.

  “Be careful,” said Robert, as he put his hand under her open palm, ready to snatch it back if Fidem decided to bite.

  But his horse gently lapped up the treat, then immediately butted her hand to be stroked. Letty responded by putting both hands on either side of his neck, then scratching behind his ears, ensuring herself the horse’s loyalty.

  With his horse obviously in ecstasy, Robert asked, “Just how long have you been carrying sugar in your pocket?”

  “I have been looking for an opportunity to make friends with your horse.”

  “So you decided to buy his allegiance with his favorite treat.”

  “I did want to make a good impression, though I will stick to apples and carrots from now on if you insist.”

  “I have a feeling you made a friend for life.”

  “Since I will only be here for six months, we have no way of knowing, do we?”
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br />   The reminder of their short-term arrangement gave Robert a twinge of pain. Letty had not just changed his record keeping and linen closet. She had become the best part of his days. He eagerly awaited her arrival in the mornings and either he or she would find some task to delay her departure in the afternoons. He liked having her at the farm and dreaded the day when she would eventually leave.

  “Shall we continue our walk?” she asked as she slipped her arm through his.

  He would like nothing more than to continue it for the rest of their days. But he would have to be satisfied with a little less than six months.

  * * *

  Three Months Later

  Letty straightened her riding habit as she looked in the mirror in Violet’s bedchamber one last time.

  “You look beautiful, Letty,” said Violet. “Robert must truly be a sapskull to have resisted you all this time. I never would have thought it, especially since I believe he cares for you very much.”

  “If that is true, he has an odd way of showing it. Lately he has made sure to always have a servant around so we are never alone.”

  “That just proves he does not trust himself around you. I believe this plan of yours is working extremely well. Of course, I also approve of it because I have been able to spend so much time with you. Mayhap we can convince Anna to come visit, as well. Life is just so much fuller when you are here.” She walked to the window and looked out.

  Letty knew what she must be thinking about. Or rather whom. “Have you heard from Wes?” she asked.

  Violet shook her head. “It would be most improper for him to write to me, of course. But even Papa has not heard from him for a while. I am sure he has many things and many people keeping him occupied.”