Celestial Seductions: The Complete Series: An MM Gay Paranormal Mpreg Romance Collection

by Odin Nightshade

  Chad could not watch any longer. This was Josh, and his daughter. The father of his child. He had always wanted him to meet her, wished it could have happened. Now it had, and he had no way to share the information. None of them could know, or ever would, except him. How could he bear it? He slipped back into the kitchen, feeling Josh’s eyes on his back the entire time.

  A few minutes later, Josh appeared beside him. Apparently, Emmy was content to color on her own for a moment or two.

  “I should get going.” Josh stood behind him and wrapped his arms around him. Chad turned and pulled away, afraid that his daughter might walk in at any moment.

  “Josh…” he began, but he stopped him with a quick kiss.

  “I’ll pick you up at six for the rehearsal dinner.” He smoothed a hand over his pale hair and, before Chad could say another word, left.

  Chapter 12

  Josh was picking up his tux with Wyatt, but all he had been able to think about all day was Chad. Chad and Emmy.

  The little girl was adorable, and very confident. Chad had done an excellent job with her.

  He could not stop thinking about what Emmy had told him. He had covertly questioned the child, hoping for information about Chad's life before the present. Her age, her birthday, her family. The little girl had been straightforward and seemed not to be bothered by all the questions. She had happily provided the information. She had also informed him, intriguingly, that Chad was her only family.

  Josh wondered why Emmy had never met Chad’s own parents. He had a sinking feeling that they, ultra-conservative and stern as always, had disowned him after revealing that he had sired an illegitimate child. The fact that he had stayed to look after the child himself, after the mother had obviously abandoned her, should have been a matter of pride, not shame, but he could believe a bad reaction coming from Chad's parents. Chad had spent most of his childhood at the Holmes home, trying to avoid their wrath and constant judgments.

  Josh tried not to imagine the love of his life going through all of that alone. It made him angry to think of Chad’s struggles. It was so like him to have supported the child he had conceived out of wedlock. But he should not have had to do it alone. Not when Josh could have very easily been there to help him. Chad should have told him. But he had not.

  Josh counted the months back from Emmy’s birthday and swore under his breath. She must have been conceived at most a few weeks after Josh and Chad had...had...

  They had only made love once that summer, but Chad had been a virgin. Despite what he said, Josh seriously doubted that he had had many partners that summer. It did not fit his personality. His mind flashed back to that night so many years ago. It had been amazing, and he had wanted it to last forever. Then, his dreams had been crushed when, just a few weeks later, Chad refused even to speak with him, and had informed him that he had never truly been interested in him.

  That had been a lie. Josh knew that now.

  He shook his head. How was he supposed to know what was true? How could he make sense of it all? Had Chad been seeing a girl all that time? Why had he not told him? Josh swallowed. It was not just that he was jealous – he did, he chuckled, feel a little jealous and couldn't help it – the main point was, why had he lied? Why had he told Josh he had never been with anyone before? And why, when it was clear he was seeing a girl, had he not told Josh the truth? Especially when he found out she was pregnant.

  Was that why Chad had left without a word? What had happened, in those intervening years, and why had he sent no word to Josh about it?

  He sighed. Nothing about this made sense. And why had Chad not let him know he needed help? He felt so sad, thinking of what he had been through. The thought of Chad, a single parent, alone and struggling to make ends meet, made him miserable and sickened. Was that why he had canceled his scholarship to the academy? Had he given up on his dreams because of his situation?

  Josh felt rage in his blood. Why had he never told him? No matter whose Emmy was, he and Ashley would never have abandoned him. He felt sick to his stomach as he thought about Chad’s motivations for cutting them out of his life. After all the lies he told, the truth was that did not want them, or anyone else, to know about his daughter. It was as simple as that.

  Josh blinked, swallowing hard. All those years, Chad had been living in a tiny little apartment, working a job that he clearly did not enjoy. If only he and Ashley had known! They could have helped. That was no life for Chad. He should be singing in front of packed houses, playing his music for the world to hear. He should have never had to do this alone. He heard a voice at his back, cutting into his private reverie of thought.

  “I said...have you seen my coat?”

  Josh snapped back to the present, and turned on Wyatt, angrily.

  “Should I have?”

  “No..?” Wyat blinked, surprised by the harshness of Josh's tone.

  “Sorry,” Josh breathed out, feeling frayed.

  He was not truly angry with Wyatt, but the pretentious actor was getting on his nerves this morning. Josh had more important things to worry about than where he had left something the night before, or to answer questions about whether or not he should wear custom laces with his shoes.

  Chapter 13

  When Josh picked Chad up for the dinner, he was still in a strange, restless mood. Though he greeted Chad with a smile, and spoke kindly to Lydia and Emmy, who stood in the doorway to see him off, he knew Josh well enough to sense that there was a coolness in his mood that had not been there before.

  They drove to the restaurant in silence.

  He believed me about the other lovers, Chad thought, feeling his heart clench. He believed it, and he can count—he knows how old Emmy is. He must think I was seeing someone at the same time as I was with him. Now he’s angry. Chad felt a wave a guilt crash over his heart.

  Josh had every right to be angry, he told himself, reasonably. If what he had said was really true, it would mean he had been lying to Josh all that summer. In his place, he would be furious too. He closed his eyes and they drove through the dark streets.

  When they entered the party together, Ashley came over at once, and enveloped them both in a massive hug. Chad grinned, and felt some of the tension lift inside him. He held her close, ruffling her hair. He had been worried she was going to ask why he had come without telling her, and with Josh, but she seemed sufficiently pleased just to see them both to notice the details of his sudden arrival.

  Wyatt sauntered over and requested that his bride-to-be come join him to greet their guests.

  With a soft and quick apology, Ashley rushed away with her fiancé.

  Although they sat together, Chad and Josh hardly spoke to each other. The tension that rolled between them was palpable. It was not until the first course arrived that some of the awkwardness melted away.

  As they sat and ate, and talked with the other guests, Chad suddenly felt Josh’s thigh brushing against his knee and, from the look on his face it was not an accident.

  He felt a blush rise in his cheeks as he leaned over to speak with him. They looked into each others eyes and both felt lost. The room disappeared for a long while, and then came back to focus, slowly. He noticed Ashley watching them then.

  “Maybe we shouldn’t be so obvious.” Chad whispered. He had meant to chastise Josh for his immoderate behavior, but his voice had betrayed him with a slight tremor at its edge.

  “Why not?” Josh’s free hand interlocked with his own fingers and together, their hands rested in his lap. “I’m tired of lying, Chad. People are going to know, and I don’t care.”

  He had made the statement with a casual air, but Chad understood the deeper message. He took a large drink of his champagne, brain whirling. He did not know if he had the skill to play this game against Josh.

  Later in the evening, as the dancing began and the party started to become livelier, Chad realized that Ashley and Wyatt had left. There were not many other guests that he knew and the party no longer h
eld its appeal.

  Josh’s hand was massaging his fingers beneath the table. Chad was resolutely not looking at him, because he knew what he would see in his eyes. The same thing that he was feeling. Desire.

  “Do you want to get out of here?” His voice was barely audible over the music.

  Chad nodded and followed Josh from the building.

  The hot summer air greeted them as they walked through the parking lot in search of his rental. It was parked in the far corner, in the shadow of a large tree.

  Josh held his hand as they walked. His thumb drew circles on his palm and he imagined that sensation on other parts of his body. They approached the passenger side of the vehicle and Chad turned toward him. he did not know what he had been about to say, but it did not matter.

  His lips were on his own and that was all that his mind could handle. He pressed his body against the side of the car and Chad curled his hands into his shirt. The parking lot was deserted, but Chad did not know if he would care either way. His entire focus was on Josh.

  His hand inched up beneath his suit-jacket and slipped beneath the fabric of his shirt. Chad moaned as he touched him. If he wanted, he would let him take him right here.

  Slowly, he pulled away and stepped back into the darkness. Chad straightened his clothing and stared at him.

  “What is it?” he demanded. A minute ago he had been as lost in the passion as he was himself. Now, he was closed off again. Chad could feel a chill creep over his body.

  “Emmy. We need to talk about her.” He spoke with a calmness that Chad himself wished he felt.

  “Josh, I told you…”

  “Dammit Chad! Just tell me the truth, for once.” He demanded.

  Chad took a deep breath. What was the point in hiding the truth any longer? It was clear that he knew. How could it have been otherwise?

  Chad swallowed. “Josh. Emmy is yours.”

  Saying the words aloud drove all of the air from Chad’s lungs.

  Chapter 14

  Chad stood, silent and still, in the parking-lot opposite Josh. It was as if the weight of the last four years was off of his shoulders, and yet, now, he was terrified in an entirely different way.

  He was frightened stiff of how Josh would react.

  He stood in the parking-lot and waited for his world to tear apart.

  Josh cleared his throat, slowly. He sounded so uncertain, and Chad closed his eyes and waited for the torrent of cruelty to hit.

  A look of confusion, the likes of which Chad had never seen, took over Josh’s entire face. “What? What do you mean?”

  “Josh, I...” Chad could barely talk. He felt the tears run down his face as the words began to tumble out. “I’m not like other guys. I, I… my anatomy is different. I’m a man, but…but on the inside, I’ve got everything necessary to bear a child. I don’t know why I’m like this…I just am.”

  Josh stared directly at Chad as if in a trance, hanging on his every word, desperate to make sense of what he was hearing.

  “That night we made love for the first time…I became pregnant. And I decided to go through with it, even though my family and doctors all advised against it. I just couldn’t bear the thought of terminating the miracle that we had created together. But I couldn’t tell you about it either.”

  “Why not?” Josh demanded. “Didn’t I have a right to know?” There were so many emotions present in Josh’s voice, Chad didn’t know which one to latch on to.

  “Of course you did. But you would have never been able to follow your dreams if you had felt responsible for me and the baby. Even worse, you would have been outcast! Like I was!”.

  “You should have told me,” Josh replied, hurt and bewilderment floating to the surface of his face, anger and resentment sinking to the bottom.

  “I did it so that you could have a future!” he shouted. He felt angry that Josh could not understand. He wanted him to. “I never wanted to hurt you, but I know you, Josh.” His voice was wracked with suppressed sobs. “I know that you would have given up everything for us and I couldn’t stand that. Look at everything that you have been able to accomplish! You couldn’t have done that if you had been saddled with us.”

  Josh spun around, suddenly, and glared at him. “I don’t think that was a decision that you had the right to make for me, Chad. How the hell do you know what I wanted? All that I had ever wanted was you. A life with you. Do you really think that I would have regretted that? And you held me away from my daughter. My own child...”

  Chad felt himself nodding as he understood. This was four years of pent up hurt spilling out of Josh, and Chad knew he had every right to feel that way.

  “You shouldn’t have made that choice for me,” Josh continued. “You should have let me know. How could you, Chad? You even cut Ashley off, and it hurt her so badly! How could you think that was okay?”

  By the end of his rant his voice was merely a whisper.

  Chad said nothing. They both had their reasons for feeling the way that they did. Neither of them spoke for a long while.

  They looked at each other, then, and some of the anger slowly cooled.

  “Come on.” Josh sighed. “I’m taking you home.”

  He opened the door for him and Chad slid into the vehicle. The ride back to his apartment was excruciating. Neither of them spoke. Chad stared out the passenger window and waited for his tears to dry. Josh stared with complete focus on the road ahead.

  When they arrived, he got out of the vehicle and he did not say a word. When he heard the car pull away behind him, Chad was certain that this was the end. he doubted that Josh would ever speak to him again.

  Chapter 15

  The following morning, Chad awoke with swollen eyes and a headache from crying. Josh was supposed to pick him up at noon, but he knew that he was not coming. He needed to get ready earlier if he was going to catch the bus in time.

  Chad had just finished fixing his hair when there was a soft knock on the door. It was eleven o’clock and he had no idea who it would be at this hour.

  When he opened the door, Josh was standing there looking devastatingly handsome in his tuxedo.

  “I snuck through the front door as someone else was coming out. May I come in?” His face revealed nothing.

  “Josh…I...”

  “Chad, we need to talk.” He pressed.

  With a deep breath he allowed him to pass.

  Emmy ran into the room with a squeal of delight.

  “Mr. Josh!” he curled herself around one of Josh’s perfectly tailored legs. “You came back!”

  Josh laughed and peeled the girl off of him.

  “Why don’t you give your father and I a minute to talk?” He smiled at the child who was pouting in front of him. “I promise that we won’t take long.”

  “You can’t take long, or daddy’s going to be late for that wedding...” The little girl skipped down the hallway and left the adults alone.

  “She’s cute.” Josh pointed out, as he lay a garment bag that Chad had not noticed before over the back of a chair.

  Chad nodded. What was he supposed to say?

  Josh approached Chad and took his hands in his own.

  “Chad, you know that I love you. That I’ve always loved you.” He began.

  Chad felt a knot rise in his throat. After all of his anger the previous night he had not expected such tender words.

  “I wanted to marry you four years ago, even before the night that we made love, and even now none of that has changed.”

  Josh gave his hands a gentle tug and Chad found himself pressed against him. He released his hands and wrapped his arms around his waist.

  Chad was still uncertain and so he remained frozen, with his arms crushed between them, and with his face turned up toward his.

  “I don’t like what you did, but I understand why you did it.” Chad had started to pull away but stopped when he heard the last words. “There isn’t anything that can be done to change the past but, I’m hoping tha
t it doesn’t mean that we don’t still have a future.”

  Chad pressed his forehead against Josh’s chest in order to hide the tears that were gathering in his eyes.

  “Chad, look at me.”

  He did, reluctantly.

  “You mean everything to me. You always have. And now, that little girl does too.” He wiped the tears from his cheeks and pressed his lips to Chad's own. “I want to make this work between us and, this time, I’m not going to let you push me away.”

  Chad’s body shook with sobs and Josh plied him with gentle kisses until they subsided.

  “I’m in love with you Chad Stone.” He whispered.

  “I love you too.” His voice was barely audible and came in short bursts.

  “I’m going to tell Emmy who I am.”

  When Chad gave him a warning look, Josh stopped him. "I’m not going anywhere this time. The two of you are stuck with me for the rest of your lives and I’m not hiding this anymore.”

  “What do you mean?” Chad was trying not to be too hopeful. Could Josh really mean what he thought he meant?

  “Well, first I think that we have some dating to do.” Josh laughed and Chad could not resist a smile. “We have a lot of catching up to do but, I think if we really make a go of it, the ultimate goal would be to convince you to marry me.”

  Chad laughed and wrapped his arms around Josh’s waist.

  “I like the sound of that.”

  “We’re a family now.” Josh’s hand brushed along his spine and Chad closed his eyes and enjoyed the sensation. “There’s no more pretending. No more hiding. Deal?”

  “Deal.” Chad smiled and hugged Josh closer to him.

  “One more thing.” Josh persisted.

  “What?” he looked up at him with hesitant eyes.

  “You’re finishing school and following your own dreams now.” When Chad began to argue he shook his head and continued. “I’m where I want to be. Now, it’s your turn.”

  Chad kissed him but did not respond. It all sounded too good to be true.