White Lies and Promises

by Ally Hayes

  “I am redoing the master bathroom; please use the guest bathroom for the duration,” Patty announced at dinner that night.

  “What? It was fine!” Robert replied, startled.

  “No, the paper was coming up,” Patty answered with a calculated coolness she’d prepared in advance.

  “Call a painter then to take care of it. You can pick out new paper or a paint color if you want to help out.”

  “All taken care of. I will be hanging the paper myself,” Patty defended herself.

  “Well, this should be interesting, huh, Jacqueline?” Robert chortled and returned to his pork chops.

  The bathroom became Patty’s first of many projects in their brownstone. She became adept at wall paper, a whiz at grout, and a painter/faux-finish extraordinaire. Robert was surprised he never had to call in the professionals and even apologized for doubting her capability. Some nights he would return home to such a mess he was certain she’d never be able to fix what she had destroyed. But she always did. She felt invincible.

  It was while finishing the last wall of the last room to be painted that she made up her mind what she would do next and decided to take action without Robert knowing. She would begin the preliminary work and tell him when it was too late to chicken out.

  Meanwhile, Robert had made a decision of his own—a big one. He had been enjoying the spoils of working at a large, prestigious firm for years now. He relished all the perks and regarded himself as one of the “top guys.” Playing with the big boys felt good, and he wanted more. His worlds were beginning to separate, but instead of wanting to bring them closer together or strive for a balance, Robert decided to make the separation even more severe. He sought a physical separation—distance. He justified his decision by reassuring himself that deep down, Patty would want this—even enjoy it—and Jackie would adapt as well.

  By June it was done, and on Jackie’s last day of kindergarten at the academy. On graduation day, Robert took a rare day off to attend the commencement festivities with Patty. He’d show them the signed the papers at lunch. They’d be surprised and thrilled.

  Patty made reservations at her daughter’s favorite Japanese restaurant to celebrate Jackie’s accomplishment and her own announcement—she had received the letter of acceptance.

  “Here’s to Jacqueline. Look out First Grade!” Robert exclaimed. He and Patty raised their wine glasses to clink with Jackie’s tumbler of ginger ale.

  “Thank you, Gratzi, Merci, and Xie, Xie.”

  After the celebratory drinks, Patty announced that she had some news to share but was crestfallen when she discovered that, due to her nervousness, she wasn’t heard above the noise of the restaurant. Robert hadn’t even realized she had been speaking when he began.

  “Guess what?” he addressed Jackie playfully and winked at Patty, sending her a look that said “watch this.”

  Jackie bounced in her chair. “What, Daddy?”

  “You need to start packing.”

  Jackie voiced the question Patty silently asked herself. “Ooh, are we going on a trip?”

  “Not exactly, but we will be traveling on August first,” he teased.

  “Where are we going?”

  “West.”

  “This is fun,” Jackie played along while Patty started to get anxious. “What will we need to bring?”

  “Everything.”

  “Everything, really?”

  Patty cleared her throat to choke down the building anxiety she didn’t want them to hear. “Honestly, Robert, what is going on?”

  Robert reached into the inner, secret pocket of his suit jacket and produced a Polaroid instant photo of a stately-looking old colonial house.

  “Surprise! I bought my girls a house!”

  “Oh, Daddy!” She jumped up and hugged her father’s neck.

  “Robert!”

  “Where is it, Daddy?”

  “Westhaven, Connecticut. You’ll love it. It has a great big yard, a room with your own bathroom, and a huge closet. And for you, dear, lots of projects. You’ll be in heaven. It’s just what you need.”

  Patty smiled and kept her own news silent. Suffolk Law School would have to wait for her; she had projects to do.

  ***

  They moved in on a Saturday. The movers unpacked the truck, while Robert and Patty directed the strong, young men where to arrange dressers and tables, garment boxes, and toys. On Sunday, they christened their new grill in the backyard. Monday, Robert woke early, not knowing exactly how long it would take, and set off on his first of many commutes. And so began the new, suburban routine for the Hamiltons. Patty had plans for the kitchen counters and crown molding in the dining room. Jackie was looking forward to starting school in a few weeks at Westhaven Country Day. Everything seemed to be falling into place.

  Patty was pushing the shopping cart, and Jackie was lagging behind begging for Apple Jacks on the Thursday before Labor Day weekend; she wanted to avoid the Friday rush at the grocery store. She was about to tell her daughter no once again to the sugary cereal when she was interrupted.

  “Patty? Patty, is that really you?” Ann’s unmistakable voice asked.

  Her stomach dropped as she turned her head and remembered to smile.

  Patty and Ann exchanged pleasantries and information. Ann’s son was clutching a box of Cap’n Crunch; he had already opened the top and was digging in. He grinned and held out the box, offering the intriguing-looking girl in front of him a handful. She smiled back, reached for a box off the shelf, and tore the top off the Apple Jacks.

  Matt and Jackie met again.

  Chapter Two

  The Fosters

  Ann and Bill became engaged while they were both still living at home. One of the many demands Ann made before their marriage was that Bill rent an apartment to ensure there would be no living with either of their parents after the Big Day. In customary fashion, Ann got her way. Bill moved in a full month prior, and Ann followed upon return from their honeymoon. Meredith moved into the second and only other bedroom when she was six months old because it was getting uncomfortable for Ann to wedge her between Bill and her once again expanding belly. Melissa took her sister’s place but was a better sleeper, independent from the start, and quickly advanced to a porta-a-crib in their room. It worked, to a degree, but the arrangement hardly lasted a year.

  At Melissa’s first birthday party, Bill announced to the extended family gathered around the cake in the tiny kitchen that he and Ann were, “Going for Boy!”

  “I’m only ten weeks, but I feel really different this time, and I’m already huge,” Ann confessed. Bill had caught her off guard with a generous slice of birthday cake in hand. She pointed her fork toward her bump. “He must be a football player.”

  Instead, seven months later, they brought home twin girls, Megan and Melanie. Ann couldn’t stop the alliteration once she had started. Thankfully, twins could sleep together—for a while. It was clear they needed a house, but with Bill’s salary at the auto plant and four kids—three still in diapers—it just didn’t seem possible.

  Ann was miserable and made a desperate call one morning after Bill left for work.

  “Daddy, I just cannot take it anymore!” Ann whined into the phone.

  “I knew it. Have you two been fighting in front of the kids? You know they can pick up on that, even at early ages.” Ann could almost see him shaking his finger at her through the phone.

  “Dad! It’s not Bill I can’t stand; it’s this damn crowded apartment!” Ann’s yelling could just barely be heard above Megan’s cries and Meredith screaming about Melissa touching her.

  “Well, now. I wish I could help you there, but it wouldn’t be fair to your other siblings if I gave you any help.”

  “They don’t have twins, they don’t know. It’s not the same.” She sobbed.

  “This too shall pass. Be happy they are all healthy and you have a roof over your head.” Ann hated when he got all preachy with her. And when she didn’t get her way.<
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  Her pleas fell on deaf ears with Bill, too. He agreed they needed something bigger, but told her she’d have to wait. He wanted an end to the futile conversation and walked away from the kitchen they had both been crowding. A beer in hand, he walked outside to clear his head from the kids’ noise and Ann’s nagging.

  Bill couldn’t believe what his life had become. From party guy to father of four in an instant it seemed. He felt like it was just yesterday he had been hanging out with his buddies, causing trouble and not caring. He had bounced from job to job and girl to girl since high school, then the next thing he knew, he was dating the life-of-the party, Ann O’Donnell. They had hooked up at someone’s apartment bash, and within a week, she was telling everyone she had loved him from afar forever. She was fun and put out, so he kept it going. After a year had gone by he realized he hadn’t been seeing anyone else, and all of sudden couldn’t imagine himself with anyone else. Sure they fought, broke up even, but everyone did. By the time Ann made it clear she wanted a ring, most of his friends had gotten married already, either by choice or force. It seemed like the thing to do. Now he was struggling to make ends meet and put up with Ann’s demanding ways. Bossy-mom Ann was not life-of–the party Ann.

  “Then you’ll just have to wait to touch me ever again,” Ann warned Bill after he dismissed her demands for a new house. It was an idle threat at first, but she decided to make it real when it appeared he believed her. One weekend turned into a week, and after three weeks of no sex—all the while Bill was pleading he’d wear a condom, pull-out, anything—he caved in and said okay. They would move.

  Ann, of course, had already found a house in a suburb she had always highly regarded. Bill said no, he wouldn’t work two jobs so she could sit around all day and admire her white picket fence.

  “Like that’s all I do, sit around!” she fumed.

  “Let’s just rent something for a little longer,” he suggested, unwilling to revert to another dry spell.

  “A house.”

  “Fine, we’ll rent a house.” Did he even have a choice at this point, Bill wondered.

  The “rental ranch” wasn’t in Westhaven, but Ann was happy they were getting closer to her dream town. They put Meredith and Melissa into bunk beds in a room that had once been intended as a dining room—Bill and his brothers had converted it into a bedroom by adding doors. Megan and Melanie’s cribs were in the other true, yet smaller bedroom. On the first night, in their new master bedroom, Ann finally let Bill make love to her. Matthew was conceived.

  In the hospital, overjoyed with the birth of his son, Bill promised she could have anything she wanted.

  “Anything?”

  “Anything. You name it. You want a house in Westhaven, you got it. The white picket fence, a big backyard, whatever you want. We’ll take out a mortgage, and I’ll work overtime.”

  “Oh, Bill, that’s great! You’re great!” Ann exclaimed. “Although, I was only going to ask that you get a vasectomy.”

  The family of now seven moved into the white clapboard house of Ann’s dreams when Matt was four years old. It took longer than they thought to save up a down payment and convince a bank they could float the mortgage payments. Ann’s father took some convincing as well to cosign the hefty loan. She was sworn to secrecy never to tell her siblings.

  They took over the neighborhood with their countless bicycles, balls, and Matt’s pride and joy: the basketball hoop. The whole family loved the suburb, the kids made friends with the countless neighbors, and they walked to school and the park. After two years, though, the dream house was taking the toll from the Foster Five inside and out. The neighbors were beginning to notice the wear and tear. A screen door could only take so much slamming. Ann told herself she would have plenty of time to catch up once all the kids were in school full time. She’d get to it.

  Ann was counting down the days until school would begin as she pushed the toppling shopping cart down the aisle of the local grocery store. Meredith would be in sixth grade, Melissa fourth, the twins in third, and finally, Matthew would be going full time as he was heading off to first grade at Westhaven Elementary. While she looked forward to this break, she wasn’t as anxious to send Matt off as she was the girls. Maybe it was because he was the baby; maybe because he was her only boy. Or maybe she was afraid Bill might expect her to go back to work.

  As a pre-emptive strike, she had announced at dinner one night that she would not be signing up any of the kids for the at-school lunch program.

  “We’ll save a good chunk of money having them home for lunch every day,” she said proudly of her plan.

  “Good thinking. Just make sure they go back at twelve-thirty. I could see them convincing you to let them stay home.”

  While not the response she wanted, she knew he would see she was busy and watching their finances as well.

  In anticipation of the following week, Ann was stocking up on bologna, white bread, and spaghetti-o’s and had just reached the cereal aisle where Matt had disappeared to earlier when she thought her eyes were deceiving her. Could that be Patty? Her old officemate. No way. Why would she be all the way out here? She claimed to love city living, even bragged about all the “culture” when she came to visit the rental ranch years ago. It certainly looked like her with that non-descript hair color and boring, pressed denim skirt and flats ensemble. Well, there was only one way to find out.

  “Patty? Patty, is that really you?”

  Chapter Three

  Ann and Patty

  “Ann? What a surprise. Do you live around here now?” Patty was so flabbergasted at seeing her old friend that she didn’t know where to start.

  “Yep, finally got the house in the suburbs. It’s been a few years now. I guess I sort of got bad about sending Christmas cards, so I suppose you couldn’t have known. Now, what’s your story for being at the Westhaven A&P?”

  “We just moved to Maple Road a few weeks ago. It was a surprise to me; Robert took care of everything.”

  “Wait, do you mean that huge brick colonial that was on the market? You live there now?”

  Patty inwardly cringed but politely smiled at her crass old friend. “That’s the one. It needs a lot of updating and some repairs, but I’m up to the challenge. Jacqueline will be starting first grade next week,” Patty announced, liking the way her mission statement sounded aloud.

  “Oh, that’s right, Matt and Jackie are the same age. Matt, you and Jackie played once when you were babies, and now you’ll be going to school together.”

  The sandy-haired boy waved. “Hi.”

  “Hello, Matthew.”

  Matt was intrigued by her melodic voice and wanted to hear it again. “Did you get Anderson or Peters?” he asked her, referring to the two first grade teachers at the public elementary school. Having four older sisters, he knew the pros and cons of both.

  “Um, I’m not sure what you’re talking about.” She turned to her mother with a puzzled look on her face.

  “Oh, honey, Matthew must be going to a different school than you. Are you going to Westhaven Elementary, Matthew?”

  “Yeah, my sisters all go there, too. Where are you going?” He turned from answering Patty to asking Jackie with sad eyes, realizing she would not be at recess with him.

  “Country Day.”

  “I assume Robert made that arrangement, too?” Ann asked Patty, only half teasing.

  “Well, we both decided that was best for Jacqueline.”

  “I guess I won’t be seeing you at pickup, but I know where you live, so you can’t escape me now.” Ann cackled.

  “Drop by anytime. I’ll show you all the renovations I have planned.”

  “Sounds great. I could use some help in that department anyway. Matt, say ‘bye’ now, and let’s see if we can find your sisters.”

  “See ya, Jackie.” He waved.

  “Goodbye, Matthew. It was nice to see you.”

  Jackie began school, and quickly everyone wanted to be friends with the new, p
retty girl with the sleek black hair and sweet voice. She continued with piano and begged until her parents broke down and enrolled her in a ballet class at the studio in the center of town next to a new bagel shop. Robert commuted to work in the city, and Patty papered and plastered, glued and grouted.

  Matt began school and quickly formed a group of buddies. He played football in the park and stayed out until dark each night shooting basketballs into a shortened hoop. He tormented his sisters and teachers, but could do no wrong in either of his parents’ eyes. He was their boy, not one to worry about. The girls needed to be watched; Matt would be fine.

  Bill worked and worked, trying to keep up with the lifestyle Ann had chosen for them. Ann kept busy with the kids. From the minute they left the house in the morning, she struggled to clean up after breakfast and start laundry before it was time to make the lunch they would be expecting at eleven forty-five. Back out the door at twelve-thirty, she sometimes cleaned up the dishes if she didn’t have to grocery shop before they returned at three and headed off in different directions to dance, basketball, cheer, gymnastics, and scouting.

  After one particularly grueling day at the auto repair plant, Bill plopped down in his old recliner with a can of beer and commenced grumbling.

  “This place is falling apart. Look at this ceiling, it’s cracked and flaking.” He pointed with his can hand.

  “Sorry, I haven’t had time to notice the ceiling,” Ann snapped. She had just returned from watching a cheer routine that made her late to pick up Matt from the monthly scout meeting that apparently she was supposed to attend. The den mother was not pleased to see Ann pull up at the school in her wagon and simply honk the horn for Matt.

  “Well, what do you notice? I work a double shift, yet it hasn’t escaped my attention. How long do you suppose that cabinet next to the sink has been without a handle?”

  “Oh, I don’t know, Bill. Is it really such a big deal? Do you want me to call someone to fix and paint it?” Ann was good at defending herself and testing others at the same time.