White Lies and Promises

by Ally Hayes

  “Hey, you’re that Jackie chick from the cookout, right?”

  “Yes, I’m Jackie.”

  “Yeah, Matt was right.” He chuckled.

  “What?” Jackie was confused.

  He shook his head. “Nothing. Forget about it. You want a beer?”

  The effort of trying not to appear alarmed at being offered alcohol for the first time—and sound cool in declining—caused Jackie to stammer a bit so that ordering a soda was a challenge.

  “Sure, soda and what… Gin or vodka?” the boy asked nonchalantly.

  “Just a soda for now.” Jackie grinned at having come up with a witty remark.

  Again, not knowing what to do next, she held her cup with both hands and slowly headed toward a ratty couch. As she approached, she was blown away when the boom box came to life blaring a song that got the group of girls dancing. Empty plastic cups littered the floor around them. One of the girls, Joey’s sister maybe, tried to wave her over to join, but she held up the universal “no thanks” sign. She just nodded her head with the music and hoped Matt would see her looking like she was having a good time. She was just about to turn and look his way again when the oldest Foster girl appeared at her side.

  “It’s no use, you know,” she said instead of hello.

  “Excuse me?” Jackie replied, not knowing to what Meredith was referring.

  “Matt, of course. While he’s with his boys, he won’t acknowledge you. That’s uncool, but guys are like that. You’ll figure it out pretty quick. It’s either be with them or with you, never both. And when they are around you are number two, literally. Might as well get used to it now; they’re all the same.”

  “Oh, well, that’s fine he’s with his friends; he should be. It’s not like I came here looking for him. I came with my parents.” Jackie wanted to sound so mature but ended up sounding like a dumb kid. It didn’t make a difference, Meredith saw right through her.

  “Sure, honey. Have a drink and come dance. Show him you can have a good time, make him want you.” Meredith then dragged her into the inner sanctum of the “dance floor.”

  Jackie did her best to gyrate like them, having heard that dancing was as easy as imitating everyone else. She was getting into it and having fun, but all the while sneaking glances at the card table behind her. She thought she could feel his eyes upon her, but whenever she peeked, he was staring or squinting at the cards fanned out in his hands, like a waxed-paper wall.

  “Pizza’s here!” an adult voice rang out above the music.

  Ann simply handed the boxes off to one of the boys who clearly wanted to avoid having her come any farther than the bottom step. He quickly deposited the food onto a plank-covered air hockey table that would serve as their buffet. Jackie was relieved to see the dancing crowd disperse toward the pizza, and when she looked at her watch, she was equally relieved to see it was already ten o’clock. She followed one of Joey’s sisters—the one who had been friendly in the past—over to the makeshift table. She noticed Jackie when they reached for plates.

  “Jackie, I thought that was you across the room. Do you know my mom?” Jill asked while pointing at a woman cutting up slices.

  “No, but I’d love to meet her.”

  “Ma, this is Jackie.” Jill had tapped her mother on the shoulder to get her attention. She had to yell so she could be heard.

  “Hi, Jackie. Oh, Jackie Hamilton. Right, nice to meet you and Happy New Year!”

  “Thank you, and same to you, Mrs. Barone,” Jackie replied, bewildered at the fuss over her. She passed it off, remembering that her mom had been a big help to Mrs. Foster, and as next door neighbors, she probably had seen the progress. She hoped that was the case but couldn’t overlook the fact that she was the only Asian face in the basement—it was hard to confuse her with the neighborhood kids.

  “Well, there are plates and napkins. Help yourselves, everyone. We won’t bother you anymore this year! Ha! Seriously though, I want to see lights on and trash picked up at twelve-thirty, okay? And all incriminating evidence stashed away so I have no knowledge. Got it?” She addressed the whole crowd who collectively seemed to have been through this before as a resounding “Yeah, yeahs” and a few feminine sounding “thank you’s” came from the partygoers.

  Jackie took a piece of pizza on a paper plate and followed the girls back to the space that had previously served as their dance floor. Now they sat in a group in a sloppy circle, and only whispers and giggles could be heard from a distance.

  The boys had resumed their spots at the table; loaded plates had replaced their cards.

  Great, Jackie thought, just like before. She wondered what she had really expected or envisioned in the hours between setting up this morning and arriving at the party she had built up in her head. While picking out an outfit and doing her hair, she came up with various scenarios for the evening, none of which included sitting on a floor eating pizza with a bunch of girls she hardly knew.

  Just as she was beginning to believe Meredith’s earlier warning, everything changed in an instant.Slowly at first, everyone got up to throw away their plates and other trash in a huge outdoor-type garbage can stationed at the end of the staircase. Soon no one was sitting around anymore. They were all standing…in couples.

  With the exception of a few, including Jackie, the crowd had fractioned off into pairs as if there had been an announcement telling them to do so. She felt her cheeks burn with embarrassment, and while she wanted to dash upstairs, she found herself paralyzed. Semi-conscious that she was waiting for Matt, she found herself turning around as if on autopilot.

  It only took a minute in real time from pizza disposal to the moment Matt was next to Jackie, handing her a cup. She was pretty sure it was full of something she didn’t want, but accepted it graciously and nervously took a sip. It was sweet.

  “Having fun?” Matt asked after he dramatically took a chug from his can of beer.

  “Oh, sure yeah.” Jackie had been practicing sounding cool.

  “Do you want to hang out or go be with the girls?”

  “This is good,” she stated matter-of-factly. Matt had a way of making her say exactly what she felt without thinking first.

  “Yup.”

  They were silent for a while, until it got so uncomfortable that they both felt the need to break the silence at the same time.

  “What’s up?” and “How’ve you been?” both came out at the same time. They laughed, and it helped.

  “Let’s go see what Joey’s up to,” Matt suggested and began leading the way.

  Seated at the bar was Matt’s closest friend, his partner in suffering from sisters. He, too, was the only son. He had older sisters like Matt—just not as many. They found solace in the silence of shooting hoops outside their loud, estrogen-filled homes. Matt hesitated as they approached, realizing he was bringing a girl to meet Joey and what that might mean. By the time the reality sunk in, it was too late. Joey had seen them coming and was grinning.

  “How you two doing?” he asked them.

  “Good, Joe. You remember Jackie from the summer?” Matt then turned to Jackie who smiled in return. “Wanna come over to watch the countdown with us?”

  “Naw, you guys go. I’ve still got to snag a babe before the big moment,” Joe announced as he slicked back his hair, causing Jackie to chuckle a little. She was glad Joey had declined, leaving her and Matt alone. The thought both excited and terrified her.

  As they walked away from the bar, something occurred to Jackie. Matt might kiss her tonight! She had imagined it so many ways, even before Drew’s attempt the week before and even more so since. Her first kiss—a real first kiss—kissing Matt. While this basement was not a moonlit night on a beach or a porch swing, it could still be perfect. She followed Matt. He never took her hand or touched her, yet he walked as if knowing she was following.

  A television set she hadn’t previously noticed was now on and showing a chilly crowd in New York City waiting for the ball to drop in fifteen m
inutes. The basement crowd was drawn to it in a horseshoe configuration.

  Matt seemed to have found the spot he had been seeking, because they were no longer moving but crunched between other couples of varying teen ages. Matt clapped the backs of a few guys who all seemed to be happy to see him. Almost all leaned into him to say something Jackie couldn’t hear. She assumed they asked about her as they didn’t look her in the eye after they said what had to have been a lewd comment. Yet she didn’t care.

  “Do you go to school with these other kids or are they neighbors?” Jackie asked.

  “Both and neither. These parties seem to change depending on who my parents are hanging out with at the moment.”

  “Like my mom,” Jackie remarked.

  “Well, right. Luckily, my mom cannot function without yours lately.” He grinned when he said this, a reaction he couldn’t hide.

  She felt herself melt. Her knees felt loose and her stomach tight. She could have just stared at him but wanted to keep talking, learn more about him. She wanted to die when she asked him the next question, it sounded so childish—like meeting a new friend in kindergarten.

  “When’s your birthday?” She had to practically yell as the volume had been turned up.

  “May eighteenth,” Matt answered. Jackie thought he hadn’t heard her correctly.

  Jackie shook her head and spoke louder. “No, yours, not mine. Wait, how’d you know my birthday?”

  “Yours is May eighteenth, too?” Matt seemed as blown away by this fact as she felt. She no longer wished she hadn’t asked the childish ice-breaker.

  “Wow, I know my mom said we were the same age. I didn’t know she meant the exact same age.” Jackie couldn’t believe it. What were the chances?

  “That means we’re both Taurus—bulls.”

  “That could be rough,” she agreed, liking where this was going.

  “I guess we’ll have to see,” Matt answered with a hint of smile.

  She was starting to feel warm and a bit giggly, something she hated in other girls. She wondered what she was drinking and more importantly, how she could put it down. As she sought a safe place to dispose of the half-filled cup, she was interrupted by the lights being turned off and the television volume being turned up even further. As the volume increased, the noise from the party came to a screeching halt. Everyone became quiet. Jackie felt Matt put his arm around her waist, pulling her in close to him. He didn’t look at her, just straight ahead at the console, so she did the same. She was afraid he’d hear her heart pounding.

  Suddenly, it was time. The crowd began to count backward from twenty. She only had twenty seconds. She looked up at him, but his gaze remained fixed straight ahead. He was counting out loud with the rest of the crowd.

  “16, 15, 14, 13, 12, 11, 10…”

  She joined in.

  “5, 4, 3, 2, 1! Happy New Year!” Cups and cans went up the air. Some confetti. Noise makers and clackers and then silence. Almost everyone was kissing. She turned to look at him, and this time he turned to her, too.

  “Happy New Year, Jackie,” Matt said as he leaned down to kiss her.

  This time she knew what to do—not because of the failure at the movies, but because this time she wanted it, too.

  He was sweet at first, slow. Then, sensing her acceptance, Matt pulled her closer. Jackie responded by adjusting herself to fit into his chest. Someone came by and took the drink from her awkwardly outstretched hand, rendering it free to wrap around Matt’s back. The same someone must have taken Matt’s also as they were now embraced in a kiss that both took them by surprise but felt like they’d been together forever.

  The lights came back on. They pulled apart and stared at each other in silent disbelief. Jackie adjusted her sweater, touched her hair. Matt shuffled his feet.

  “Clean-up time. You know the drill. All traces of booze and butts in the box by the bulkhead!” Meredith yelled to the crowd.

  Matt took her hand and looked at her as if wanting to tell her something very important. Jackie waited patiently but nothing came out. She felt she had to fill the void.

  “I guess I have to go now.”

  “Yeah, and I’d better stay down here to clean up or my sisters will kill me.”

  “I’ll bet. Well, I’ll go upstairs and find my parents before they come looking for me.”

  “Good idea.”

  “Okay, well, goodbye, Matt.”

  “Wait, Jackie?”

  “Yes, Matthew?”

  “Um, never mind. Bye.”

  Confused and unsure, she walked up the stairs. The main level was a mess. She knew where she would find her father and headed in that direction. Sure enough, he was standing by the front door, his own coat on and holding Jackie and Patty’s. He looked relieved to see his daughter.

  “How am I going to get your mother out of here?”

  “I’ll take care of it.” Jackie proceeded to the living room.

  “Thank you, Mrs. Foster, I had a lovely time. However, this is very late for me, and I hope you don’t mind releasing my mom.”

  “Aren’t you sweet. I hope you had a fun time. Patty go; we’ll catch up this week. Thanks for all your help. I don’t know what I would do without you.” Ann gave Patty a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Patty looked to Jackie with the same sign of relief she had just witnessed at the door.

  On the ride home, Robert was bickering about the party and vowed to never attend another event at the Foster’s house. Patty at first tried to defend Ann and her intentions but only found herself agreeing to Robert’s comments, if only for the sake of ending the discussion. In the backseat, Jackie heard none of it; she was reliving the kiss and wondering how she’d survive until she could see Matt again.

  Back in school on Monday, Drew was telling everyone he had dumped Jackie “the prude.”

  Chapter Five

  Matt

  “Tracy said to say you’re a lying, cheating rat, and she never wants to talk to you again!” The chubby, freckle-faced Laura yelled at Matt as he opened his locker.

  It was the first Monday after Christmas break, and Tracy’s best friend was trying to make sure everyone at Westhaven Junior High heard her rant. Matt took his books out in silence as she droned on and on about how Tracy deserved better and wished she had never gone out with him. Truthfully, Tracy had pleaded with Laura to do this before Matt had a chance to break up with her. She had heard about the other girl and was expecting the axe and was now trying to soften the blow. She promised Laura her favorite earrings in exchange for making a public scene.

  As he walked to class, Matt thought, well that’s one problem solved. He had been trying to figure out a way to break up with Tracy ever since he kissed Jackie. Thankfully, Tracy had gone to Florida the day after Christmas and had not returned until Saturday night. Enough time for her to find out, he should have realized. He knew she had called him yesterday, a lot. His sisters were more than happy to oblige his wishes by telling her he was out. More phone time for them.

  While it was only junior high school, basketball was a source of town pride. The Westhaven High School team had won more titles than any other in the state and was known for breeding college stars. The recruiting began in grade school, and the teams were pretty much solidified by the seventh grade. Matt was a forward.

  His star status had more to do with his popularity as a player than his true personality. He could practically walk up to any girl he wanted and ask her out; they all wanted to date a player, especially now that it was basketball season.

  With Tracy taken care of, he figured he was free. He planned to take the “I’m focusing on my team” route and avoid the silly, fawning girls. The truth was, he couldn’t keep his mind off Jackie. Joey had given him a hard time about her being a preppy, private school girl, but he had to admit she was cute. While the girls prancing down the halls of their school wore miniskirts and too much eyeshadow, Jackie’s conservative and demure looks were driving him crazy. Every time Matt saw her, he got a nervou
s rush, but strangely enough he didn’t feel shy or intimidated around her. He had to come up with a way to see her again and soon. Unfortunately, his only connection was through his mother.

  Matt had no idea if Mrs. Hamilton was still coming over these days; he was a guy, how was he supposed to know if the curtains had been changed. He was hardly ever home now anyway, with basketball practices and pick-up games afterward.

  The winter months flew by. The playoff games lingered until spring break. They won their division in a gut-wrenching game on the Friday night of spring vacation. From the packed gym it would seem everyone in town had stayed or come back early just for this moment. Matt felt invincible and played like a star. He loved the attention, the roar of the crowd. He was hooked.

  The team had their photos taken by the newspaper, and a plaque would be engraved with all their names to hang in a display case at their school. He was on top of the world; everyone had come to see the big game, including his sisters and their hot friends. Everyone in the stands was cheering him on. Everyone except the one person he wanted there.

  Dave’s parents gave a party for the team and cheerleaders the next night. The girls were crazy for him and he was felt invincible, so it seemed wrong not to make out with Courtney in the den. It felt right at the moment, but more than right, it felt expected of him. He didn’t like to let down those who put him up on the pedestal where he wished to remain.

  Later at home, he tossed and turned as he replayed the night, replacing Jackie for Courtney in the integral scenes. At twelve-thirty, he crept to the kitchen. On top of the refrigerator, under a layer of dust, sat stacks of white and yellow pages. He pulled down the Westhaven phone book and flipped to the H’s. Maybe Jackie had her own line, he thought. She was rich and seemed a bit spoiled; it was a possibility. He found their listing, but it was a singular line. He grabbed a marker from the junk drawer and wrote the phone number on his hand like he had seen his sisters do before. After replacing the phone on its receiver a dozen or so times, he gave up and admitted to himself he wouldn’t call her tonight. He went back to bed, feeling like he had accomplished something by the attempt.