White Lies and Promises

by Ally Hayes

  “Dad, can you come get me?”

  ***

  “There’s nothing to discuss. I don’t ever want to see him again either,” Jackie told both her parents from the comfort of her bed the next morning. The car ride the night before had been silent.

  “Well, I think you’ve learned your lesson.” Robert felt bad for both Jackie and himself, not to mention conflicted. How could he punish her when he was no angel himself? He felt it best to just move on.

  “Mom, you don’t really need me at work. I’ll pick up some extra studio time and maybe babysit for the Cooney’s a few nights. You need Matt, though, and he needs the paycheck.”

  “Whatever you’re comfortable with, Jackie. I’ll go along with whatever you decide.” She was happy to hear she would not have to confront Ann about any “situation” any longer.

  Patty and Matt worked separately and quietly. Jackie kept her promise of staying busy and spending time with quality friends. Robert, well, he couldn’t seem to make the break he needed to but recognized the need.

  They worked, played, cried. Summer came to an end.

  Chapter Nine

  Matt. Jackie.

  It was seven twenty-five in the morning, but Jackie was already dressed in her uniform and applying the deep-brown eyeliner and mascara she had recently discovered would open up her narrow eyes with dramatic effect, when the phone startled her.

  “I got it!” Jackie yelled into the hall from her bedroom. She knew the call would come today, she just hadn’t expected it so early.

  “Happy birthday.”

  “Same to you, Matt.”

  They delivered their messages while maintaining a friendly tone, nothing more or less.

  “Sorry to call so early, but I figured you would be doing something after school or tonight.”

  “That was thoughtful. I do have some plans.”

  “Oh, well, me too of course. Big sixteen and all. Anyway, couldn’t forget your birthday. Ha, ha.”

  She didn’t laugh along with him. “Right.” She wanted to end it there because his voice was bringing up old images, memories. “Well, I’d better get going. Thanks for calling.”

  “Sure.”

  “Okay then, bye.”

  “Yeah, bye. Uh, wait, Jackie?”

  “Yes, Matthew?”

  “Nothing, forget it.”

  ***

  “Well, you know how it goes. Busy then nothing, now crazy again with the holidays. No, we’re going on a family trip to Vermont this year. Jackie might want to take a look at Middlebury, as well as ski. I’d be happy to make anything you need. Well, just let me know. Yes, they’re all good. Things are fine there, too, yes. Right here, yes. How about yours? Wow! Yes, we should. How about coffee when school starts back up? Great, I’ll call you then. Merry Christmas, Ann.”

  Jackie sat at the kitchen table staring at the same calculus problem for over ten minutes—a record for her. Not because she was challenged by the assignment by any means; she couldn’t concentrate and hung on to every word of her mother’s end of the conversation with Mrs. Foster. Even though everything was going terrifically that year, it didn’t matter.

  Last year, as a sophomore, she had felt a bit disillusioned, having started school behind the social eight ball. Having secluded herself the summer prior with Matt, she was out of the loop with Crestwood Prep and spent most of the year trying to catch up. Sports and art kept her busy, and soon she was immersed in her school life. It helped that her parents ensured that the Fosters’ names were mentioned minimally. She knew her mother occasionally met Ann for coffee but was conflicted on how to handle their quasi-friendship.

  One year ago, the annual party had not been mentioned. A similar phone call had probably been made, and of course, Jackie thought about it—him—at that time. Now it seemed enough time had passed. The breakup and the events leading up to it were all old news. The slap heard around Westhaven a forgotten scandal. She had even spoken civilly to him briefly on their last birthday. It was acceptable to acknowledge there was a Foster New Years’ party, especially since the point was moot anyway.

  Besides, she had a boyfriend. Jackie had been dating Peter, a senior at her school, for a few months now. Captain of the lacrosse team, class treasurer, and fellow National Honor Society member, he was everything her boyfriend was supposed to be. Whenever he came to pick her up for dinner or a movie, he always came in first and chatted with Patty and Robert—who seemed to be home a lot more those days.

  Sneaking around was no longer necessary for Jackie, and it seemed Robert was working on it as well. Jackie was smitten with the attention of an older and popular boy, and she was the envy of all the girls at Crestwood. Her parents were thrilled and hoped just as much as she did that he would choose a college close to home. With a couple of the Ivies practically in the neighborhood, all three Hamiltons believed it was a good possibility.

  Patty turned to face Jackie, knowing full well she had been listening to her phone conversation with Ann. “I should probably make good on that offer to Ann soon. There’s no harm in that now. What do you think?”

  “Mom, of course there’s no harm. In fact, there was never any problem with you two being friends. I feel terrible that you think you cannot continue your friendship with Mrs. Foster because of…you know.” Sometimes, Jackie sounded like the teenager she actually was.

  “Well, it just got awkward,” Patty said.

  “But you used to be so close.”

  “Well, I wouldn’t say ‘close,’ but we were friendly.”

  “Mom, I cannot believe you are saying that. You were together all the time when I was younger. I cannot think of anyone else you spent as much time with as Mrs. Foster. I don’t really know of any of your other friends, outside of my friends’ parents. Those are the people you are ‘friendly’ with. I feel responsible for you belittling your relationship, and I think you should get together with her to show you have no hard feelings...” Sometimes, Jackie could sound like the opposite of the teenager she was supposed to be.

  “Jackie, you shouldn’t feel responsible in any way. Believe me, I am much happier that you and Matt are not an item. If it makes you feel any better, I do plan on reconnecting with Ann, and it will be easier knowing there’s no likelihood of you and Matthew getting back together at this or any point. There isn’t, is there?” She added that last bit unexpectedly.

  “No, Mother, of course not,” Jackie answered, believing her own words but feeling their sting.

  ***

  “Let me guess, they’re not coming to the party?” Matt rolled his eyes for effect.

  “Right-o, Einstein. Family trip. Sounds like Bobby-boy is feeling faithful, or guilty, this year.”

  “Mom!” admonished Megan who was home for Christmas break.

  “I know, I know, but it’s the truth I think. I guess, at least. Okay, I’ll stop.”

  “It’s not like you ever see her anymore anyway, right? Didn’t she drop you when her daughter dumped Matt?” Melanie added.

  “Well, not exactly, but we’ve both been busy. And for the record, no one dropped anyone.”

  “Right,” three of her kids answered at the same time, mocking Ann’s usual sarcastic tone. The whole kitchen was full of Fosters cracking up in laughter.

  Matt went back to his room to escape all the estrogen and avoid any manual labor he might be asked to do in preparation for Christmas. Those wreaths looked like they had his name written on them. He flopped onto his unmade bed and turned on the stereo to drown out the thoughts that nagged him.

  Why couldn’t he stop thinking about her?

  Why had he been such an ass?

  Would she ever take him back?

  And most importantly, was she still planning on waiting until she was eighteen, too, and would she wait for him?

  Should he wait for her?

  Joey thought he was nuts for not being able to get over her. Matt had stopped talking about Jackie a while ago, but Joe knew him all too well. The lack
of a girlfriend did not go unnoticed and “too busy with basketball” only bought him so much time. Matt did hook up at parties—he was a warm-blooded sixteen-year-old—but it never went beyond that. He knew why, and he knew Joey did, too.

  Maybe it was time to give up. She wasn’t coming to the New Year’s Eve party again this year.

  Matt leaned over the side of the bed and dragged over the promotional basketball shaped phone he had received as a free gift with his subscription to a sports magazine the year before. It was hard to hear on, but he wasn’t about to make this call on the kitchen or family room phone for fear of female ears.

  On his nightstand sat an address book—a little black book, to be precise. Joey had filled in and given it to him for his last birthday. He had yet to open it, and a small piece of wrapping paper still clung to the back flap. He flipped to the Gs.

  “Hi, is this Debbie?”

  “Yes,” Debbie Grant answered hesitantly.

  “Hey, it’s me, Matt Foster.”

  “Oh, hi, Matt. This is a surprise.”

  “That’s me, full of surprises. Listen, my parents throw this New Year’s Eve party every year and some of us hang out down in the basement. It’s pretty cool. I was wondering if you wanted to come?” He tried to sound casual but convincing.

  “Well, I’m supposed to go to Bec’s, but that’s sorta lame.”

  “Trust me, this won’t be lame.”

  “Okay, I might have to use Bec’s as a cover, though. Maybe start off there or end up there, so you know.”

  “Secret’s safe with me. Try to get here before ten if you can.”

  Pleased with himself, Matt hopped off his bed. Opening his nightstand to place the book back, he saw a neatly folded note. After a quick read of Jackie’s handwriting, he crumpled it up and tossed it through the tiny hoop attached to his Knick’s wastebasket. Two points already. Matt was back.

  ***

  “Think of it as a graduation present,” Peter tried.

  “I already got you a gift,” Jackie said.

  “It couldn’t compare to the one I’m asking for, believe me!”

  She had a feeling she knew what he wanted, what every guy wanted. He had been insinuating for a few weeks, mostly with his hands. She needed to figure out what he was up to, but she also to needed to change the subject.

  “We’ll see. What exactly are the plans for after prom anyway? I have to tell my parents something.”

  “It’s a surprise. Just make sure you tell them you won’t be home until later the next day, okay?”

  “I’m working on it. They would never let me stay out all night, even with you. Sydney is planning a party and I hope they’ll buy the lie that I’m staying at her house.”

  “Awesome. We’ll even stop by there first so it won’t be a complete lie.”

  “That’s what I like about you, Peter. You always want to do the right thing.” Jackie crossed her fingers, hoping her words were true.

  ***

  “Wow, you look great, Debbie!” Matt exclaimed.

  Her hair was pulled back on one side, the other teased out and sprayed stiff. Her dress was short, not the typical princess prom dress. A strapless electric blue, the dress hugged her body perfectly. Her pumps were dyed to match, and even her eyeliner was the same color.

  “Thanks, birthday boy.” She gave him a quick kiss on the cheek as her parents were waiting in the living room to take their pictures.

  Matt truly thought going to the junior prom was dumb but was enticed with how cool the after parties always sounded, especially if he could count on free beer on this, his birthday. His birthday. Their birthdays. True to his long-ago promise, he had called. Jackie didn’t answer. It was the first time she hadn’t. He assumed she’d be waiting for the call, but Patty answered causing Matt to lose his nerve and hang up. It wasn’t until he was in the back seat of Joey’s car—they had already picked up his date—that he remembered hearing Crestwood Prep was having their prom that night, too. His was in the school gym; hers was in the ballroom of the Hilton.

  After dutifully posing for Debbie’s parents and presenting her with the tacky corsage, they climbed into the back seat of Joey’s pride and joy and headed to a small “pre-party” at Dave’s house.

  He successfully avoided making a fool of himself fast dancing. Debbie didn’t care if he was out there on the dance floor or not anyway; she was bumping and grinding with her girlfriends. But she made him swear they would slow dance together so everyone would see them. For even a few of those songs, he managed to hide, but she dragged him out to her favorite Richard Marx song and draped her arms around his neck as they slowly shuffled around in a circle.

  “Having fun?” she asked, Peppermint Schnapps fresh on her breath.

  “Sure. You?” He was distracted with the thoughts of who Jackie might be draping her arms around at the same moment. He wondered how she would be wearing her silky black hair that was as touchable as Debbie’s was not.

  “Yes, thank you, oh man of a thousand words. Just wait until you get your birthday present later. Hint, hint. Then you’ll have something to say.”

  Oh, no. Matt realized what she might mean by the innuendo. He had purposely been trying to keep from getting too close to Debbie for just this reason. He even planned on breaking up with her when school let out for the summer. Now he was going to have to deal with “it.” He liked her, and of course would like to do that, but he didn’t want the first time to be with her. If Joey knew he was holding out for Jackie—for a year from today—and that he would turn down offered sex, he would become the laughing stock of the school.

  As it was, he never admitted to anyone he was a virgin. He skirted the issue whenever it came up and boasted vaguely with the guys in the same way they all did. He never should have let Debbie convince him to go to this stupid prom. He should’ve never budged from his “No way, I don’t do dances” routine. Her hands were very convincing the night she asked if they could go.

  Now he had to make a plan. He would not break his promise to Jackie, especially not with Debbie. Matt could think of only one way to get out of it: one of them was going to have to get plastered. They were both on their way, but she was ahead of him.

  Back at Dave’s, before they left for the dance, they had all done a birthday shot of something gold and nasty. Everyone pretended to like it. Several beers were consumed on their way over, and it appeared Debbie had found a friend with a flask once at the gym.

  Later, at her friend’s house for the after party, Debbie leaned over the couch where he played Nintendo. “I’ve reserved a room,” she tried to whisper in Matt’s ear.

  He assumed she meant one of the bedrooms but wondered how could she possibly be standing. He had been supplying her with wine coolers all night. He figured she’d be passed out somewhere or one of her friends would be holding back her hair as she barfed. So much for his birthday wish coming true.

  “Oh, Maaatttt...” Debbie sang. “It’s present time for the birthday boy!”

  Joey heard the announcement and understood Debbie’s slurred intentions. He slapped Matt on the back.

  “Woo hoo!” A chorus rang from the room. He had to go with her. For good measure, he took the nasty gold bottle from the coffee table and took a good pull. He guessed it was going to have to be him to get sick.

  Debbie was drunk but an aggressive and uninhibited drunk—fully functional. She immediately pushed him down onto the bed and began attacking him. He recalled this from a scene from a raunchy movie they had watched at his house.

  “You like?” she asked, referring to the black strapless bra she was revealing.

  “Uh, yeah of course, but, Debbie, you know we’re both kinda drunk and…”

  “Don’t worry, I’ll make it memorable.”

  “It’s just well, wow… I forgot to bring, you know, stuff.”

  “Surprise! I brought condoms. Shit, they’re in my bag downstairs somewhere, or maybe I left them in the car. Uh, hold that thought. I’l
l be right back.” Debbie gave his crotch a little squeeze before she disappeared.

  This was it. He could go out the window or hide in the closet—no. He couldn’t go downstairs. He was trapped and realized he was going to have to go through with it. Jackie wasn’t coming back anyway, he rationalized, but his stomach dropped at the thought of her.

  Jackie.

  Debbie was coming back up the stairs. He did not want it to be Debbie. He closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing, to make it seem like he’d been out for a while.

  “Matt, wake up.”

  Nothing.

  “Seriously, Matt. This isn’t funny.” She nudged him, poked him, poked it. Nothing.

  “Oh my God, you’re such an asshole!” she yelled to his fake unconscious form.

  Five minutes later, she was sobbing downstairs with her friends and going on about how it was supposed to be the best night and how if they had done it, she’d have him forever. Matt lay on the bed upstairs wondering how long he’d have to stay up there. He began to actually pass out when he heard them. It sounded like three, but it felt like one hundred.

  He felt the cold but resisted flinching. He gave in to the darkness.

  “Dude!”

  Matt’s eyes snapped open. It was morning. He was on someone’s bed, naked. Joey was in the doorway looking like he’d discovered a murder scene…until he burst out laughing.

  “Man, oh my God. Go into the bathroom.”

  With his clothes bundled in his arms shielding him, he looked in the mirror above the sink to see the damage. He’d been attacked by permanent markers.

  Prick.

  Loser.

  Tease.

  Those were the ones he could see. Below was worse, X-rated.

  “What happened?” Dave asked. He had joined Joey and was snorting from laughing so hard.

  “I dunno. I guess I must have passed out.” Matt realized he’d have to see the lie through; there was no one he could confide in.

  “Some birthday,” Dave chided.

  “Oh well. Next year’s the biggie anyway,” Joey joked, not knowing the weight of his words, but Matt was relieved.