White Lies and Promises

by Ally Hayes

  Later, Jackie felt like a teenager again in his arms. “I’ve been wondering about something? Did you ever get that dog?”

  “Bo? No.”

  “Oh, I’ve always pictured you with one, especially being alone and all.”

  “No, it was part of the package, remember? White picket fence and all that.”

  “I remember,” Jackie sighed.

  “Maybe, someday.” Matt smiled.

  It was a very happy birthday weekend.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  The Fosters

  Patrick Richard Hamilton came to Jackie on a beautiful June day. He was a big boy, born late and hungry. His teenage mother almost did not go through with relinquishing him, and until Jackie brought him home, she still couldn’t believe it.

  The agreement wasn’t the greatest, not like Jackie’s own closed, private adoption. This mother wished to keep open lines of communication and retain the option to take him back if she chose within one year. In effect, Jackie was Patrick’s foster mother. Even his name was not entirely her decision, but they had come to a compromise.

  She took a leave of absence from her job and sent announcements to her clients informing them she would be available by appointment only for the next few months. She and Richard had invested carefully over the years, and he had left everything to her. Grateful but humble, Jackie established a small scholarship fund in his name at Yale. She would be fine and more than able to devote all her time to her new son.

  Between feedings, diaper changes, singing, and rocking, Jackie filled her free time with thoughts of Matt. They spoke every night and exchanged emails several times a day. He had flown out twice—over the Fourth of July and Labor Day. Now school was in session, and his team practiced on evenings and weekends. It was her turn next.

  Thanks to email, Patty and Robert received updated photos constantly. They had been out to visit as soon as they got the news. They stayed a week but hadn’t been back since, respecting Jackie’s wishes but also begging her to come home. However, attempting to take Patrick out of state was not easy. After much paperwork and a court appearance, she was able to bring him to Westhaven for Thanksgiving.

  Jackie decided it was time to tell her mother. She and Matt agreed it was time; he was having a similar conversation with his own parents after pie on Thanksgiving night.

  “I have something to tell you,” she began.

  “This sounds serious, and bad.”

  “No, it’s very good. At least, I think so, and I hope you do, too.”

  “Now this sounds familiar.”

  “It is, actually.” Jackie had to laugh. “Matt and I have been seeing each other again. Have been for a while, in fact.”

  Patty simply stood up and hugged her daughter who felt lighter, younger, and just better than she had for a long time. Along with a tear, a sparkle was in Jackie’s eye that Patty had not seen since she was eighteen. Robert simply nodded. He’d take a little longer to come around, but he would eventually.

  With grandparents all too willing to babysit, Jackie was able to meet Matt on Friday night. This year, they prearranged to go to dinner instead of the bar.

  He had been out to see her three more times since their first reunion and spoke every day. This was the first time they saw each other on familiar ground.

  “A lot has changed in a year,” she noted.

  “Except the way I feel about you. Last year I felt like my whole world would collapse if I let you go again.” He took a deep breath to say the next line. “Please don’t make me feel that way again. Stay.”

  “I want to, more than anything, but I can’t.”

  “Yes, you can. We can make it work.”

  “You know I have to stay in the same state as Patrick’s birth mother.”

  “But only for only six more months, though, right?”

  “I hope. If she makes it difficult for me to keep him, I’ll do whatever it takes to be his mother. If she won’t give him up because of distance, I will have to stay.”

  “Then I can come there,” Matt stated.

  “I’ve thought about that, but it doesn’t feel right to ask you to leave everything you have here.”

  “I’ll do whatever it takes this time. You and Patrick are everything I want now.”

  A week before the adoption hearing, Jackie called Patrick’s birth mother in desperation.

  “Is everything all right? Is the baby okay?”

  “Yes, he’s fine. In fact, everything is wonderful. I have something to discuss with you, though. Can we meet?”

  She agreed, and the two mothers met at a playground so the now-walking Patrick could wander around while Jackie poured her heart out.

  “You know what it’s like to be in love, really in love, to ache for someone with all your being?”

  “Yea, that’s what it was like for me and Joel.”

  “Well, I’ve been in love like that with someone my whole life. We met in a playpen. We’ve just never been able to be together for one reason or another. We grew up together then grew apart. Until recently, and now we finally can be together, if you’ll let us.

  We can be a family and raise Patrick with a mother and father who will love him and can provide for him. Matt’s an attorney and a basketball coach. He almost went pro himself. I would be able to stay home and still do my work, make money while being with him all day. Above all, Patrick would be loved by a mother and father who love each other, who have always loved each other.”

  The scrawny girl picked at her nails. “That sounds great, of course. What’s the catch?”

  “You would have to give up visitation rights, let me adopt him outright.”

  “Why? I still don’t get it?”

  “I’d have to move out east, to my hometown.”

  “No way,” the teenager replied.

  Matt sat on Joey and Theresa’s couch as he had done a million times before. This time, though, he wasn’t relaxed—no feet on the coffee table watching a game. He was literally on the edge of his seat wringing his hands.

  “You already put a down payment on it?” Joey began.

  “Yeah, I guess that was a bit premature.”

  Matt was so sure Jackie would be able to come back with Patrick, he couldn’t help but take a chance on an opportunity he had thought passed him by years ago. Now with the hope of a new start, he had jumped at it only to find he had jumped the gun.

  “It’s not a loss, Matt. Even if she doesn’t move out here, it’s still a great house. Plus, if you don’t want to hold on to it, you could easily work your magic by updating the kitchen or finishing the basement and flip it.”

  “It does need a master bath. I did a walk-thru with a nosy friend a few months ago,” Theresa confessed from the kitchen, clearly listening in on their conversation.

  “Thing is I can’t do any of that if I go with Plan B: moving to California.”

  That was the big decision now. Jackie knew it would be asking a lot for Matt to leave, and she didn’t even know about the house. It would be sad for him to leave his parents, but her real concern would be how he would handle leaving his team, the family he had created in lieu of a wife and kids. She would only share the sentiment that she wished she could come back there, as if the burden was only on her. It was simply out of her control right now.

  Matt, on the other hand, only hoped she didn’t mistake his hesitation as having anything to do with his feelings and intentions, but he didn’t want to confess that he’d bought a house. He had wanted it to be a surprise to show his sentimental side. It was one of the houses they had worked on together, a lifetime ago.

  Patrick’s adoption went through, and Jackie became his legal mother. However, the “open” clause remained solid. His birth mother not only insisted on open lines of communication and photos and letters to be provided, but that he be raised “within a reasonable distance to ensure a level of closeness.”

  “If that’s not typical California law, then I don’t what is, honey,” Robert
said as he hugged her and Patrick in the courtroom. He had flown out for the hearing, which Jackie had pushed to July, hoping the teenage birth mother would reconsider from her decision in May. She had not.

  “Isn’t there anything I can do?” Jackie asked her father. She should’ve been excited that Patrick was officially hers, but the victory felt lacking. Robert drove her back to her condo, a new one she’d quickly moved into right before Matt came to visit for the second time. It felt necessary, and she was content with the new space. Patrick babbled from his car seat in the back. He would head straight for his trucks when they got back, as if nothing had just happened.

  “There has to be some kind of loophole, and if there is, I’ll find one. I want you and Patrick to come home just as much as you do.” Robert took a breath. “And Matt, too. Believe me, I’ve been thinking of every way to convince this girl, even considered offering her a sizeable check, then I thought I might still need my license to practice law for a little longer.”

  It was Matt who found the loophole. Jackie and Patrick did not have to be within a reasonable distance all the time. Robert was impressed and praised Matt for the “time share” idea. Together they drafted a petition to file in family court. The judge took his time considering it as it was unprecedented. After a month, he ruled that while unusual, it was possible and legal; however, he would allow it on a trial basis as he could see the possibility of pitfalls. They would revisit the issue in a year.

  Matt had flown to California for the hearing and stayed for two weeks. In that time, they had felt like a true family, and parting tore them up. The promise of being together was genuine this time, though, and scheduling the months with each other alleviated the despondency. The morning Matt was to leave, they both laid in bed awake, whispering in hopes of capturing the last few moments of alone time, truly alone.

  “I’ve never been so happy,” Matt said as he traced his fingertips across her cheek.

  “Don’t you wonder why we had to wait so long for this? All the obstacles we’ve encountered, past and present. Why does it have to be so difficult for us?”

  “My guess is it would’ve been too easy for us to be together from the beginning. I suppose we had to go through a few tests.” Matt chuckled.

  “Quite a few tests, too. A few failures, a couple of passes, an A somewhere in there,” Jackie teased.

  “And don’t forget a bit of cheating!” Matt laughed.

  “Hey, not fair.” She punched him.

  “Oh please, we are so far past all that crap. I just hope this is our last test.”

  “Let’s vow that this bi-coastal challenge be our last test.”

  “Speaking of vows,” Matt began.

  Jackie met Lacy, Patrick’s birth mother, at a park near Lacy’s parents’ house on his second birthday. She had given him a couple of toys and took a few pictures, but it was clear Patrick only wanted to play. When Jackie presented him with a cupcake, he promptly blew out the candle, shoveled it in his mouth, and was about to hop off the bench when Jackie pulled the classic mother-block.

  “What do you say?”

  “Thank you, Mommy. Thank you, lady.”

  Lacy bit her lip but didn’t correct him. She hoped it was just toddler-pronunciation of her name. She watched as the blond boy darted toward the sand box. He was fair like her ex-boyfriend, Joel, and it pained her to see Patrick starting to resemble him more at each visit. She was lost in a sad thought about their break-up and his moving away when she realized Jackie was trying to get her attention.

  “So, Patrick and I are headed back to Westhaven tomorrow for a few weeks. We’ll be back in August.”

  “Okay.”

  “I suppose I should tell you, I’m getting married.” Jackie felt awkward sharing this life-changing information with this self-centered girl, but the reaction she got could not have been more surprising.

  “Oh, my God, that’s so great. So, like, it’s this guy Matt you’ve been in love with forever? That’s so awesome. It’s like a love story with a happily ever after. You’re finally going to be together.”

  “Well, not exactly. I still have to come back here, and he needs to be there.”

  “You mean you’re going to be married and living apart half the time?”

  “What choice do I have, Lacy?”

  Patrick was the ring bearer. Robert walked Jackie down the aisle with tears in his eyes but produced a proud smile as he placed her hand in Matt’s. The ceremony was both beautiful and emotional. Both bride and groom broke down as they recited their vows with appreciation of a moment they had both dreamed about. Wide smiles could be seen from the congregation, though, only they couldn’t know the reason, as each placed their wedding bands on the other—the same claddagh rings they had exchanged over twenty years ago. They laughed and cried when they were announced by the priest as “husband and wife, finally.” The usual polite applause was replaced by a standing ovation led by the best man, Joey.

  Robert and Patty danced the night away, even cutting in with Ann and Bill. Patrick left at ten, eager to spend the night with his new cousins at Aunt Melanie’s house. The newlyweds opted to forgo the honeymoon—they were sick of travelling. They spent the night at home, in their house.

  “It couldn’t have been more perfect.”

  “Everyone is so happy for us. Maybe that’s why we had to go through so much,” Matt surmised. “Not everyone would have been happy years earlier, maybe not even us. None of that matters anymore, as long as we’re happy, but it’s nice to have the support.”

  “I even heard from Richard’s brother; he sent a vase and his best wishes for our future. I know he means it.”

  “I can top that. Got a card from Kristie, can you believe that?”

  “Wow, how did she hear?”

  “Through a mutual friend from UConn. She knew about you. I never told her, but somehow, she knew. She wrote that she always hoped you and I would end up together. I know she means that, too.”

  The schedule wasn’t ideal but certainly doable. They joked that all marriages should start off this way—they were always anxious to see each other and cherished all moments they could. Jackie left in August, and Matt came to California in October. They would next be together at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but basketball season got dicey, so they hadn’t quite planned that out yet.

  Thankfully, they would never get to that issue.

  Lacy called to see if she could see Patrick for Halloween, and Jackie agreed as Matt had just left. She told Lacy she would bring him by her parents’ house. Lacy asked if they could meet somewhere else and suggested a McDonald’s with a playland.

  Jackie immediately wished they’d picked another location. It was crowded and loud with kids running around in plastic costumes. Patrick was a ninja turtle and could hardly keep still. Once again, they took photos, and Lacy tried for a while to interact with Patrick, but this time Jackie could see she was even more preoccupied than Patrick.

  “Are you alright?” Jackie asked.

  “Everything is good.” She pushed her hair back, straightened up and said, “I’ve met someone. I’m in love.”

  “That’s great. I’m happy for you,” Jackie replied.

  “Thanks, but there’s more. It’s hard, give me a minute. I’ve rehearsed this a lot, but it’s not easy.”

  Jackie braced herself for what could possibly be coming. She couldn’t take him back now; how bad could it be?

  “So, the reason I couldn’t have you come to my parents’ house is that I’ve moved out. I moved in with Brad a couple of months ago, while you were gone.”

  “Oh, that’s good, right?”

  “Yeah, I really think it’s good for me, and I really might love him, but the thing is Brad doesn’t want anything to do with Patrick.”

  “I see.”

  “No, he’s not mean or heartless or anything. It’s just hard for him. Seeing or hearing about Patrick reminds him about me and Joel, and that bugs him. I understand and agree with him, actu
ally. I think it’s time for me to move forward and get on with my life. I’m not going to be with Patrick’s father, and he is officially yours. I’m just being selfish. I mean, I put him up for adoption. That should’ve been the end of it, and I’m just complicating everyone’s lives now. I see how much you’ve done to make everyone else happy, and Joel just walked away. I have to let go. It’s only fair to everyone, including me.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “You should go, take Patrick to live with your husband the way you’re supposed to. Be a family. I’ll sign whatever you need. Just promise, between you and me, not the court, to send school pictures, and when he asks, tell him his mother gave him up for love.”

  “Oh, Lacy, really? You don’t know how much this means to me!”

  “Yes, it’s best for both of us—you and me. And I hope him.”

  “You won’t regret this,” Jackie said, hugging the girl.

  “Well, let’s do this quickly in case I start to.”

  They moved into the house on Maple in mid-November. Jackie shipped Patrick’s toys and both their clothes—everything else she sold. Her condo sold in a hot second, and her car a day later. When she and Patrick arrived at the Hartford airport, Matt picked them up in a new family-style SUV and drove them to their house. Matt opened the door and yelled, “Bo! We’re home!”

  A yellow Golden Retriever puppy came bounding over to greet Patrick, allowing Matt and Jackie the chance to embrace and breathe a sigh of relief. They were truly home.

  Patrick Foster’s parents, Matt and Jackie, hosted a New Year’s Eve party that year—the first of many.

  THE END

  About the Author

  Ally grew up in Massachusetts, spent her childhood summers in New Hampshire, but has been a mid-westerner for the past twenty years. After meeting her husband while they both attended Boston College, she followed her husband to his hometown just outside of Chicago and considers the move a testament to her belief in true love. If asked which baseball team she supports though, she’ll simply admit, “The Sox.”