... and Forever (Next Generation: Chaos Bleeds Book 1)

by Sam Crescent

  “It’s nice to put an actual face and voice to all the stories.”

  “I’ve heard he’s talked a lot about me.”

  “More than a lot. Some of us wanted to sew his mouth shut just to get some peace.”

  “They’re all lying of course,” he said.

  She laughed, loving the banter, not wanting it to end.

  They were all friends, all close. She saw that even before she was introduced to all of the men.

  “This is Twig. He’s one hell of a fighter.”

  Twig didn’t say anything, just nodded at her. She also noticed a scar across his lips and down his neck. Growing up in an MC club, she was used to scars and didn’t react.

  Next, and the final guy in line, was Teddy. He was the biggest one, towering over all of them. He kind of reminded her a little of Killer back at The Skulls, but this guy had to be taller, bigger in every way.

  “Teddy, really? You think Dick’s going to like that?” she asked.

  “It’s something he’s going to have to deal with. Kid can’t be responsible for his name.”

  “Kid? I’m older than you,” Teddy said, laughing.

  “If you’re planning to prospect for Chaos Bleeds, be careful around Dick. He might be a touch sensitive.”

  Teddy nodded. “Simon has already told me about all the guys and their names. Don’t worry.”

  “You’ve met Pa and of course you know Dean.”

  Pa and Dean were already seated at chairs while smoke came from the grill. This wasn’t a gas or an electric one. There was a bag of charcoal bricks beside it.

  Simon led her toward some seats and she sat down.

  “I’m going to go and grab a couple of beers,” he said.

  “They’re in the cooler in the truck,” Dean said.

  “So, you’re all one big happy family,” she said.

  “I wouldn’t say we’re one big happy family, but we’ve gotten by,” Pa said looking at all of them.

  “And you all took care of Simon?”

  “We did,” they all said in unison.

  “Damn, Pa, I’m starving. If you’d gotten one of those gas grills, we could have hooked up the pipes and be grilling steaks right about now.” Teddy looked toward her. “No offense.”

  “None taken.”

  “I told you the best kind of barbeque is over hot coals. It makes everything taste better. Not some fancy shit and besides, did you see the cost of those things?”

  “I’m starving. I could snap a leg off you and start eating.”

  She looked toward Knight, who chuckled. “Are they always like this?”

  “Pa and Teddy are. In all honesty, the big guy is always hungry.”

  “I heard that.”

  “You were supposed to, crazy ass,” Knight said, laughing.

  “Be careful with that one. We should have named him jailbait,” Dean said.

  “Jailbait?”

  “I’m the youngest.”

  “Nineteen.”

  “When did you meet Simon?” she asked. These men made her curious about the time Simon had been away. What had he been doing to find these men? What was it like? He’d been on an adventure, that was for sure. All of the men doted on him, cared about him. She hadn’t been in their company long, but she saw it.

  “When I was fifteen,” Knight said. “I ran from a bad situation. Packed up what shit I could and get the hell out of there.”

  “You did, you didn’t look back?”

  He shook his head. “There’s no real reason to look back when you’ve got nothing to look back at. Believe me, I didn’t have anything to look at, or to enjoy, or to love.”

  The group went silent.

  “I met Simon three years ago,” Felix said. “I was fucking starving. Living on the streets. My parents kicked me out when I was sixteen. I lived from bed to bed until I graduated, then hit the streets. Doing petty crime and shit. Nothing big. I was begging on a street corner. One moment begging for food, the next offering up my dick and asshole to anyone who’d pay me for a hot meal. Simon had come out of a fast-food joint. He had this big whole cardboard box filled with food. I offered him everything. Even to suck him off in front of everyone. He could humiliate me. He told me to get my shit together and follow him. The rest is history.”

  Teddy cleared his throat. “Mine was at a fight. I … I accidentally got on the wrong side of people.”

  “Accidentally? You screwed the owner’s daughter. Don’t make yourself out to be an angel,” Knight said.

  Teddy’s cheeks were on fire. “She’s a lady.”

  “Dude, I grew up with big guys talking shit about who they screwed and whatnot. I have a son. Believe me, I know all about cock and pussy.” She snuggled into Simon’s blanket, enjoying the scent of him surrounding her.

  She shouldn’t enjoy it or allow herself these few peaceful moments, but she didn’t want it to stop.

  “Fine. I didn’t like this guy. He was always taking a large cut off his fighters. They were always indebted to him. Anyway, I got it into my head to take something from him. So I did, I took his daughter’s cherry. In my defense, he had put her up for auction to the guy who would pay the highest price for it. She asked me, and I didn’t say no. My debt to him was large, and it was Simon who took a bet with the guy, won me back, and well, he gave my life purpose again. I won’t ever forget it.”

  She looked toward Twig. He was the one guy who hadn’t spoken.

  “Twig isn’t much of a talker,” Pa said.

  “I talk,” Twig said, speaking up. “Only when it’s important.”

  Simon returned with a whole load of beers.

  He handed one to her. She shook her head.

  “Why not?”

  It was on the tip of her tongue to mention Nathan, only, she wasn’t taking care of him. He was back in town.

  “I don’t drink.”

  “I’ll go and grab you a soda.”

  ****

  Simon grabbed a soda from the fridge, closed the door, and rested his head against it. The guys being here, Tabby, he knew this was going to hurt her. They weren’t supposed to drop by, not for a long time.

  “Twig isn’t talking about how we found him,” Dean said, coming into the cabin.

  “It’s not exactly a great story. We found him on a bridge, gun at his temple, ready to end his life.” He opened the soda and went to move past Dean.

  “What’s going on, man?”

  “Nothing.”

  “Do you want us to leave?”

  “Not now.”

  “You told us to keep our distance. You didn’t say for how long. The guys, they worry.”

  “Of course they worry, but you had to give me more time with her. You’ve seen the way she is. Fuck!”

  “It’s going great out there.”

  “Yeah, because for today only, we’re not going to fight but come tomorrow… These guys, I met them while I was away from her. She’s already hurting about everything else. This is a fuck-up.”

  “Or maybe this is a chance for her to see what good you’ve done away from her.”

  “Don’t,” he said. “Don’t say shit like that. I’m not a good man away from her. I could do this with her.”

  “I don’t mean it like that. Fuck, look, I mean, you’ve found these guys. You gave them all a reason, a purpose and that’s not something you should be upset about or embarrassed by. You’ve helped them. At least she can see during the time apart you found something good.”

  He took a deep breath. “I hope you’re right.”

  “I’m not wrong.”

  Heading back outside, Pa stood at the grill and the scent of meat was heavy in the air.

  He offered Tabby a drink, and she took it with a smile, which twisted his gut. All he ever wanted to do was make her happy, but he knew that was a big complication.

  “You okay?” he asked, pulling a chair toward her.

  “Yeah, I’m fine.”

  “So, Tabby, how have you been?” Felix
asked. “We thought we were going to have to head to Fort Wills but the moment Simon heard about you being here, this was exactly where he was headed.”

  “Great,” she said. “It’s good you all found each other.”

  “We’re one big happy family.”

  “Yeah, you are,” Tabby said.

  “I’ve got some mushrooms ready. I’ve got a burger bun. You ready, Tabs?” Pa asked.

  She nodded her head.

  With it wrapped in some napkins, Pa handed Tabby her mushroom burger. She took a bite and he watched her eat.

  “Why do you keep looking at me?” she asked, dabbing her lips with the napkin.

  “I like watching you eat. It’s good for you.”

  “Damn, you said you were fucking besotted, but none of us realized exactly how much,” Felix said. “You should have heard him, Tabby. Sorry, Tabs. I wonder what she’s doing? Does she miss me? She had the prettiest smile. She’s a fighter. She’s not afraid to get hurt for the people she loves. You’re like a goddess or something.”

  “You’re going to make me blush.”

  “It would,” Pa said. “If it wasn’t so true. We spent many nights camped out under the stars hearing tales of you both when you were kids. It got kind of tiring just how perfect you are.”

  “I was going to kill myself,” Twig said, speaking up.

  The group went completely silent.

  Tabby’s burger was poised at her lips.

  “When I first met Simon and Dean. They were the two I’d met. I met Knight a little later. I was going to kill myself. I was ready to end it.”

  Another round of silence met Twig’s confession. He took a swig of his drink, licking his lips as he did.

  Simon took Tabby’s hand within his own. He needed to be touching her, to be doing anything at that moment. He couldn’t stand the thought of not being around her.

  “I don’t know what it was. I was married, you see. My wife, we’d been sweethearts, at least I thought we had. It turns out she was just using me for an easy ride. The moment a richer guy came along, she jumped from me to him. I had no house. No money. No wife. My entire life I’d been living a lie. I’d been fired that day as well because my wife had decided to shack up with my boss. I had nothing. No one. So I took the only thing I had, my gun. I’d only ever gone to firing ranges to use it. I don’t even know why I had it in the house. It wasn’t like it was any use to me.”

  He snorted. “It’s probably a good thing I didn’t think about it sooner. I might have shot them both and then I’d be in jail.” He took another sip of his beer. The smile on his lips looking slightly crazy. “I wanted to end it. I didn’t see how I was going to ever be whole again or make it out alive. Everything seemed to have gotten all fucked up so fast. I walked to a bridge. The first one I came to, and I stood for a good half an hour looking at the water. The way it rushed on past. People came and went. A few cars stopped by asking me if I needed any help. I told them no. I was fine. When I was sure I was alone, I pulled out the gun, feeling the weight of it in my hand. I figured there was no purpose for me to be here. No reason for me to live. I had no one. I put the gun to my temple and your boy, he was walking right toward me. I don’t know what would have happened that day but as you can see, I didn’t shoot myself.”

  Twig nodded toward Simon, raised his beer, and took a sip.

  “Holy fuck, you know how to bring down the mood of a party,” Felix said.

  “That’s what I do. It’s why I don’t talk. At least I try not to. It’s nice to finally meet you, Tabs.”

  “Likewise.”

  For the next couple of hours, the guys relaxed, talking, reminiscing about old memories. Tabby sat beside him, listening, laughing, enjoying each moment. At least he hoped she had. Not a moment had gone by when he hadn’t missed her and the guys were making that perfectly clear.

  When it was close to midnight, the guys decided to head home, and Tabby had already made her way inside.

  He helped clear up the yard, saying goodbyes to the guys and promising to have everything resolved soon.

  They all gave him a hug, slapping him on the back before getting into the truck. Each of them had told him they liked Tabby. She was good for him.

  As their headlights diminished, he held up his hand in a final wave before going to see his woman.

  She’d already taken a quick shower and changed into a nightshirt.

  “Are you going to say anything?” he asked.

  “They seem like good guys.”

  “They are. Do you like them?”

  She ran a brush through her hair. “Does it matter if I do?”

  “To me it does.”

  “I … I’ve only just met them. Do I think they’d be a good fit to the club? Sure, I don’t see why not. You can’t judge someone in a short amount of time, Simon. If you’re looking for me to give you a slap on the back and a job well done, I can’t do that. You and I both know this is going to take time.”

  “I never meant to hurt you.”

  “I know that.”

  “Then why do I feel like you think I did this on purpose?”

  She sighed. “I don’t want to fight. We promised ourselves tonight. Can’t we stick to that promise?”

  “We could, but I know this is hanging over our heads.”

  “Simon, it will always be hanging over us. You made your choice that night. You picked revenge over me.”

  “I picked justice.”

  She rolled her eyes. “See, I just can’t talk to you when you’re like this.” She moved toward the bed. “Please, give me tonight. I gave it to you. I’m not running away. I met your friends and they seem like good people, but that’s all. I’m not going to pass judgment. We’re not in charge of Chaos Bleeds, and whatever you may think, I’m not your old lady.”

  He walked toward her, sinking his fingers into her hair and drawing her close. “You are my old lady. We’re going through a rough patch right now, but that doesn’t mean you don’t belong at my side.”

  Slamming his lips down on hers, he kissed her hard, almost bruising. He figured she was going to hit him but Tabby always surprised him. She ran her hands up his chest and circled his neck, kissing him back.

  Simon broke the kiss first. “I’m going to shower. You’ll be here?”

  “I keep my promises, remember? One night. I’m not going to try to run.”

  He nodded.

  “But come tomorrow, we’re back to where we started.”

  Gritting his teeth, he made his way into the shower to take one of the quickest washes he’d ever taken.

  Chapter Twelve

  “Are you being serious right now?” Tabitha asked.

  “Yeah, totally serious.” Simon stood at the door with it open. She heard the car in the front yard running.

  “You’re taking me back?”

  He nodded.

  She stepped toward him and paused. “Is there a catch?”

  “Yeah. I want to meet our son. I want to know more about him and be a part of his life. You’ve also got to give me a chance.”

  “So what you’re saying is this is an ultimatum.”

  “No, Tabby. This is me trying to do the right thing and also keep you. I’m selfish like that. You should have realized it long ago.” He smiled.

  He looked so sad. They’d had a good couple of days. She got to meet his friends and see a part of him she hadn’t known in a long time. Simon was amazing. There was no doubt about it. He’d just proven to be a lousy husband.

  “Can I just go and see my son? Talk to someone?” She glanced down at her body. “Maybe wear my own clothes?”

  “You don’t like my stuff?”

  “I do, but it’s not me.” She liked having Simon’s scent wrapped around her. Little by little, she found herself no longer angry at him. Again, she didn’t know if that was a good thing or not.

  The pain had lessened a little bit, which she was thankful for, but there was still so much damage between them. She honest
ly didn’t know if they were ever going to repair it.

  Tucking her hair behind her ear, she smiled at him.

  Closing the distance, she cupped his face and went on her toes, kissing him. “Thank you.”

  “Don’t thank me yet. I want to steal you away forever.”

  A part of her wanted that. The part of her that wished they could be locked away forever, close off the world, and throw away the key. It wasn’t going to happen. They weren’t designed like that.

  “Take me back to him, please.”

  She missed Nathan so much. Just the other night, she’d been sitting there, and all she wanted to do was read him a book. To be near him. He was her son, and she loved him more than anything in the world.

  Passing Simon, she moved toward the truck and climbed into the passenger seat. There was no sign of his friends or Dean.

  Dean liked to stop by.

  She ran her hands over the sweatpants. The shirt she wore was creased. Simon didn’t own an iron and so she didn’t have any way of making his clothes look neat. Even though large shirts and sweats didn’t exactly require an iron.

  “Don’t worry about how you look. He won’t care.”

  “How do you know?” she asked.

  “I had a mom, remember? I know how this goes.”

  She chuckled. “Lexie wears creased sweatpants and a shirt?”

  “Yep, and she also had the vomit stains as well from the milk. I’m used to it and if Nathan loves you, he won’t care.”

  “What a way to strain a relationship. What if he doesn’t love me?” she asked, glancing toward him.

  “It’s not possible. He will love you.”

  “But what if he doesn’t?” She ran fingers through her hair. “I never thought about that. I mean, do kids always love their parents?”

  “Yes, they do,” he said, laughing. “You loved Eva and Tiny, didn’t you?”

  “Well, yeah, but I hated them as well.”

  “And one day, Nathan is going to hate you. I wonder if you’ll be the mom that stops him from going on dates.” Simon chuckled.

  “Did Lexie hate you going on dates?” Tabitha asked.

  “No. I didn’t go on any dates. My heart was owned by you. That never changed.” He smiled. “I rarely brought a girl home and when I did, most of the time she arrived with a whole MC. It was a family thing.”