Ivy stared at her nails while she spoke appearing frustrated with the developments. Whitney didn’t know what to say. She didn’t want to get her hopes up. Leif was still very much a unicorn, not a reality. Or was he?
“Oh my GOD!” Squealed Everley jumping up and nearly knocking over the three colors of nail polish she’d been using. “You guys are going to be sisters! This is so awesome!”
“How did you go from Leif might like me to we are getting married?” Whitney asked, but there was no stopping it. Everley had returned to the floor cheerfully planning the wedding of the century for Leif and Whitney; once she got like this it was better just to let her go. Brynley quickly jumped on board and soon they were searching bridesmaid dresses on their phones squealing with each delightful find. Ivy quietly painted her nails with perfect artistic perfection. If she was excited about this proposed match she didn’t show it. Whitney wondered if Ivy would approve of her dating Leif, or did she think Leif was too good for Whitney. If she was honest with herself, probably the later.
“Dinner time!” came the call from a ball of blonde curls that popped in and out of the door so fast Whitney couldn’t even tell if it was a boy of a girl.
“Yes! I’m starving. Wedding planning is hard work!” Everley said trotting out the door.
Whitney followed Brynley into the dining room on the far side of the kitchen and nearly died when she found Jasmine and Eva seated at the end of the long farm table.
“Oh Joy! It’s freshman sleepover night. I missed that memo,” Jasmine said.
The girls grabbed seats as far from the seniors as possible.
“How long have they been here?” Whitney heard Eva ask Jasmine. Whitney loved the horror in Eva’s eyes. ‘Yes, we heard it all.’ She wanted to say. Oh her reaction would be beautiful. Instead she just smiled coyly at Brynley, who was grinning ear to ear.
The table filled quickly with blonde children of all shapes and sizes.
“How long have your friends been here?” Jasmine asked as Ivy and Everley entered with water glasses in hand.
“Long enough,” Ivy said. Whitney watched with joy as the color drained from Eva’s face and tears began to form in her eyes. Jasmine whispered something to her and she regained her composure.
“Everest, go tell Leif to get in here now,” Ivy’s mom said to the youngest boy of the group who gave off a sigh as he marched out of the room. Leif’s impending arrival filled Whitney with anxiety.
Large mismatched bowls containing some sort of macaroni and ground beef mixture, salad, dressings, rolls and a fruit salad filled the table. The littles, sitting down near Jasmine, wiggled in their seats with anticipation, but nobody touched anything. Whitney surveyed the audience at the table while they waited. Brynley sat next to her, at the end of the row. On Whitney’s other side is where Everest had been and next to him sat what appeared to be a miniature Leif, who would later be introduced as eighth grader Aspen. An adorable little one with missing teeth and uncontrollable hair, identified as Opal, sat between Aspen and Jasmine. Across from Jasmine sat Eva and next to her was the littlest Smyth at the table, who turned out to be four-year-old Willow, followed by Mrs. Smyth. Ivy sat across from Whitney and Everley across from Brynley. Whitney panicked when she realized the open spot at the table was between Ivy and her mom, almost directly across from Whitney.
Leif entered, mumbled “Sorry,” towards his mom and sat without looking at anyone.
“Opal, would you like to say grace?” Mrs. Smyth asked. Everyone immediately bowed their heads as seven-year-old Opal thanked God for family, friends and the food before them like a pro. Whitney couldn’t keep herself from peeking at Leif during grace. He had on frayed jeans and a worn Millersburg Football Camp shirt that would have made anyone else look dirty, but just made him look better. She had been right, he looked tired and sad. She glanced at Eva, and found her also looking at Leif, then she glanced at Whitney. Whitney immediately shut her eyes, but she knew Eva had seen her. Her heart pounded. Whitney didn’t doubt that Eva could and would hire a hit man to kill Whitney and bury her body in some remote forest, or burn it as Everley predicted at the beach.
With amen Aspen, Everest, Willow and Everley attacked the food in front of them, while everyone else waited for it to be passed. Whitney shook her head at Everley and then turned to find Leif staring right at her. For the first time she couldn’t read him. He didn’t smile, didn’t turn away, didn’t bore through her with sadness. He just stared.
Dinner was awkward to say the least. Whitney tried not to look at Leif, which was difficult since he was in her direct sight line. She also vowed not to look at Eva, yet could feel her staring all meal long. She gnawed on a roll and picked at her casserole while Everley, apparently oblivious to the tension, asked Jasmine and Eva about their senior projects and talked at length about what she wanted to do, asked Leif about how he thought the basketball season was going, discussed how to make the casserole with Mrs. Smyth and agreed to help Willow rehearse lines for her upcoming roll in the community theater production of Alice in Wonderland.
After dinner the girls took over the den and spread out on the couches to watch a line-up of chick-flicks Brynley pulled from her bag. Whitney found it impossible to focus on the movies with visions of Leif dancing through her head and was actually glad when everyone else started dozing off. When the second movie ended around 11:30 Whitney was the only one still awake. She turned off the TV and curled up in an arm chair with a view of the backyard and the fields beyond. She remembered how pretty she’d thought their property was the first time she’d come here. It’d been prettier then, before winter had taken its full grasp on the land, but it was still so peaceful.
Unable to sleep, Whitney meandered towards the kitchen in search of a glass of water. The large house was oddly quiet with everyone in bed. She filled a glass from the fridge door and sat at the large island in the kitchen to drink it.
Lost in the dark blankets covering the fields behind the Smyth house, Whitney nearly fell off her stool when she heard Leif round the corner. “Hey.”
“Hi,” she said. Panic rushed through her. She should go. She shouldn’t be here.
Leif grabbed an orange Gatorade from the fridge and pulled out the stool beside her. “Where are all the other girls?” He asked.
“Sleeping.” She gulped down the last of her water. “I should be too.” She awkwardly stood to go.
“Stay,” he said grabbing her arm. “I could use some good company.” She didn’t move a muscle. She stared at his hand on her arm and felt the goosebumps crawl from her shoulder to her wrist as her heart thumped in her throat.
“K.”
She sat back down and gave him a weak smile.
While she talked with him effortlessly every single day after practice, she now found it impossible to say anything. She played with her empty glass regretting agreeing to stay.
“I’d imagine you guys heard the excitement before dinner,” he said. There was a tiredness in his voice that sat on her heart.
“Yeah, some of it,” Whitney said.
“I’m sorry she’s convinced you’re the problem. You’re not.”
Whitney smiled at him. “It’s fine. I’m tough.”
“I know,” he said. He turned to face her, his face soft in spite of its sharp angles. “You don’t deserve the wrath of Eva though.”
Whitney shrugged her shoulders. “She’s thought I do since I first arrived.”
“She’s threatened by you,” Leif said. “She’s threatened by anything new and exciting.”
He looked at her with a grin. “And you’re both,” he said. Whitney smiled back at him. Then, he casually reached up and pushed a piece of hair back from her face, tucking it behind her ear in a simple natural movement causing Whitney’s whole being to tingle in a very unnatural way. She looked away smoothing back all of her hair.
“You want to work out after practice again this week?” he asked sensing her nervousness.
“Yeah,
that’d be great. As long as you think it’s a good idea,” she said.
“I think it’s a great idea, and if anyone tells you they think differently you let me know and I will deal with them okay?”
Whitney nodded. “I do need the extra work. I just don’t want you to be stuck in more strife because of me.”
“Again, the strife isn’t because of you.” He stared at her until she turned to look at him. “Okay?”
“Okay,” she said and he smiled at her. She smiled back getting lost in the endless blue of his eyes.
He reached over and brushed back her hair again, slower this time, lingering with it in his hands. She felt like she was going to melt into the stool beneath her. Then quickly he stood.
“I should get to bed before I do get us into more trouble,” he said as he put both of their glasses into the dishwasher. Whitney twirled the hair he had just held and watched him move towards the hall. “I can give you a ride home after work-outs next week if you want. Save your mom the trip,” he said from the doorway she had slammed herself into months ago.
“I’ll ask. She does hate waiting around for me to text her when I finish.”
He smiled at her and then was gone. She wandered back to her arm chair and fell asleep still caressing the piece of hair he’d touched.
The girls were all picked up by nine am since Ivy’s family had to leave for church by 9:30 and much to Whitney’s disappointment she didn’t see Leif before her mom arrived. She chose not to tell the other girls about her late night chat with Leif. She didn’t want their teasing to ruin her perfect moment.
Chapter 9
On Monday, Whitney told her mom she could get a ride home after work-outs and her mom didn’t even ask who from, which Whitney guessed was due to pure excitement that she wouldn’t have to make the extra trip into town. The idea of Leif giving her a ride every day took their workouts to a new level, forcing Whitney to put even more energy in trying to suppress any ideas she had about Leif becoming more.
During the day she continued to function as normal. She hung out with the girls, Will, Jesse and James; she continued to talk to Leif only when needed in yearbook and math, she avoided Eva at all costs and she worked her butt off in practice. Then she’d say goodbye to the girls and sneak back inside for her second life.
In the gym, just her, Leif and basketball, she felt 100% like herself. Gone was the nervousness and pressure brought on by all the people and life outside of the gym. Leif and her were competitive and fun and their hour together flew by day after day. Yet, even more than the hour of work-outs with Leif, Whitney loved the 15 minutes in the car with him when he drove her home. Leif was real with her, unlike she’d heard him with anyone before and his openness gave her the comfort to open up too, for the first time ever. It was new and odd, but also invigorating and surprisingly, not at all scary.
“Where do you want to live when you grow up?” Leif asked randomly as he drove her home one day.
“I don’t know,” Whitney said. “I liked where I grew up: the bay area, but the traffic is bad and the city is the best part but not if you have kids. It’ll probably depend on where basketball takes me.”
“You have more talents than basketball,” Leif said. “You know that right?”
Whitney shrugged. “It’s just what I have a chance with. Without basketball I’ll probably end up working at the Farm Fare.”
“That’s the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever heard! You can do whatever you want to do, with or without basketball.” Leif shook his head. “You’re so smart, and intelligent, and beautiful, and caring.”
Whitney felt the heat rise from her chest and take over her face. Basketball was her chance, she knew that, but Leif seemed to see more, which scared her. She didn’t want to disappoint him.
“What about you?” she said moving from discussing her. “Here?”
“Is that required? People who grow up here have to stay here?”
“No…” she said. “I just thought because of the farm and everything...”
“Yeah, you and everyone else,” he said.
“Sorry.”
“It’s fine.” He sighed and ran his hand through his hair. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. Everyone just assumes and no one gives me a chance to decide for myself.”
“I’ll give you a chance,” she said. “Where do you want to live?”
“I don’t know,” Leif said. He glanced over at her and laughed. “I just want the opportunity for it to maybe not be here.”
Whitney smiled at him, her attraction towards him growing yet again.
Leif pulled into her driveway, stopping just below her porch. “See you tomorrow,” he said. Whitney smiled as she climbed out and dashed through the rain to the door.
Afternoon after afternoon together their relationship grew, but unfortunately never beyond friendship. Leif would look at her and she’d swear she saw the same excitement shining from his eyes she felt inside, but then he’d look away and it’d be gone. After a good workout, he’d put his arm around her and she’d die a little inside, but again, nothing. She’d always tell herself it was fine. He was an awesome friend. Like Jesse. So much fun to hang out with and such good company and it didn’t need to go beyond that. But then she’d realize that in this situation she was Jesse and he was Whitney and she immediately felt bad for first herself, and then for Jesse and she’d be more lost than ever.
Chapter 10
As February started and moved along the whole school became abuzz with the activities of Happy Heart Week. Lots of love themed activities filled the week but the event everyone was most excited about was Val-A-Grams. Apparently this was one of the most highly anticipated days of the year, yet Whitney struggled to understand it.
“It’s a fundraiser,” Jesse said, explaining it to her for about the fifth time. “The senior honors class plans fun themed ‘grams’ you buy to send to your friends. Then the honors kids deliver them during class on Friday before Valentine’s Day.”
“So, they just walk in and hand them something or what?” Whitney asked.
“No, each different gram has a theme and the person receiving it has to do something, usually embarrassing, as part of getting the gram.” Jesse was so patient with her.
“Like what?” she asked. Brynley, Ivy and Everley shook their heads at her.
“I don’t know what this year’s themes are, last year one was a cop-a-gram so they came in dressed as police officers and put you through ‘police academy’ in front of the class. You had to run laps and do pushups while they yelled at you, and then you got a sticker badge.”
“And this is fun?”
“YES!” Bryn, Everley and Jesse all said at the same time.
“So who do you buy them for?” Whitney asked.
“Anyone really, but usually your boyfriend/girlfriend or just friends,” Jesse said.
“I’m obviously getting all of you one,” Everley said, mischief filling her hazel eyes.
“Please don’t. I’m good,” Whitney said. They all just laughed. If only she didn’t have a game Friday, then she could just be sick.
Driving home after workouts, Leif brought up the topic also.
“Are you excited for your first Val-A-Gram day?”
“Not really. It doesn’t sound fun,” she said.
“It is. I promise. Except that Eva and Jasmine are the girls doing the kiss –a- gram this year so if I get one Eva would have to give me a kiss and I can only imagine the drama that will bring,” said Leif, more to himself than Whitney. Whitney too hoped he didn’t get one. She enjoyed the post Leif-Eva world.
“They really kiss people?” Whitney asked. This was seriously not okay.
“On the cheek, yeah. That’s just one of them though. This year there is also a circus-A-gram where you have to juggle or tame a stuffed Lion and an Olympic-A-gram where you have to play sports. Those should both be good,” Leif said.
“I hope no one gets one for me,” Whitney said.
&n
bsp; “I wouldn’t count on that,” Leif said.
“Why??” Whitney asked. His grin worried her as much as his words.
“Oh, I just have a feeling you’ll get a few,” he said as he pulled up to her house. She thanked him for the ride and headed inside, more nervous than ever about the next day.
◆◆◆
“VAL-A-GRAMMMMMM” came the screams interrupting Mr. Jeffrey’s lecture first period. Five seniors accompanied the piercing screams, all dressed like they just stepped off the circus train and pushing a grocery cart full of props with a speaker blaring circus music.
“Whitney Volsum,” yelled the bearded lady, “today you have been chosen to try out for the circus.”
Whitney looked around like someone else might volunteer to be tribute, but no one moved.
“Go up there!” Brynley said as Jesse began pushing Whitney from behind. She stood up, more to make him stop pushing her than because she wanted to participate. Approaching the front, two tight-walkers each grabbed one of her arms and positioned her front and center of the classroom. All of her classmates giggled from their seats, Brynley and Jesse had their phones out ready to film the show. She guessed this was all Jesse’s doing.
“Today we are looking for a new Lion tamer for our circus, our last one has gone missing…” said the bearded lady. The class laughed, Whitney just stared blankly. “We are going to bring out our Lion and you must get the Lion to perform a trick to get the spot. Any trick will do.”
Whitney waited as two clowns went into the hallway and returned with a three-foot-tall stuffed lion. They sat the lion in front of her gingerly, like it might actually turn and bite them at any point, and handed Whitney a whip, only increasing the painful discomfort.
“Okay, lets see it,” said the Bearded Lady stepping back. Whitney stared at the girl, looked at the stuffed lion, then at the class and then back at the Bearded Lady.
Being Whitney (Book one of the Being Series): A Young Adult Novel Page 15
