Judgment Night [BUREAU 13 Book One]

by Nick Pollotta

  "Wonder what the answer was?” George said, hitching his bulky weapon to a more comfortable position, while he surveyed the area for more dangers. At the moment, we were in the clear.

  Leaning heavily on his wizard staff, Richard curled a lip. “Toothpick."

  "Sounds right. How did you know?” Jessica asked.

  "Stupidest answer I could think of. Riddles are for morons."

  "No argument there."

  A martial arts cry sounded and I turned to see Mindy flip a crystal warrior back through the magic portal. Crap! I had hoped they would lose interest once we were out of the throne room. Gesturing frantically, Richard shouted something and a brick wall sealed the entrance. Then he added a cinderblock wall, and a rickety picket fence.

  "That should hold them for awhile,” Donaher stated, thumbing fresh rounds into his weapon.

  "Bloody well hope so,” Richard panted. “I'm nearly drained. Don't think I could levitate a balloon."

  Suddenly, a savage pounding sounded from the barrier and the fence quivered.

  "Double time, harch!” I shouted.

  We took off at a sprint, and actually made it halfway to the top before I called a halt. Thinking about the crystal warriors had given me a brilliant idea. I only hoped it worked.

  "Michael,” I said. “Get the briefcase.” From below I could still hear a muffled pounding on the sealed door. Determined little things. Must get paid by the hour.

  "What ever you're doing, make it fast,” George warned, pointing the Masterson Assault Cannon down the stairs at the barrier. “Cause those bastards will be here in a New York minute!"

  "Minute is all I need.” Dropping his haversack, Father Donaher passed over the case and I whipped off my bandana. “Mindy, cut me!"

  Her knife flashed and blood welled from a shallow gash on my forearm. Gritting my teeth, I soaked the cloth in the blood, then tied it firmly about the handle trigger till I heard the telltale click. “Richard, turn the cloth into glass.” I ordered.

  "Why?” he asked, looking askance.

  "Just do it, mister!"

  "But I'm so weak ... ah, that's why the blood sacrifice.” A visible nimbus of light formed around the mage as he summoned the last dregs of power. Then Richard thumped his staff on the bloody rag and it ever-so-slowly turned into a band of glass. Wasting no time, I punched the activation code into the combination lock and hurled the case off the side of the mountain. It sailed through the air like an imported leather frisbee and went neatly over the edge of the cliff.

  "This is for Raul!” I shouted, shaking a fist at the unseen city of mages. “Choke on it!"

  Her eyes going wide in disbelief, Jessica stared at me. Ed, you didn't just-

  "Better believe it, babe,” I answered grimly. “Move with a purpose, people! Ten seconds and counting!"

  Immediately, the team started racing up the broad staircase. The higher we went, the colder the air got and the slippery the icy steps became, yet we never fell. This is exactly the kind of scenario that US Army boots were designed to handle. Well, okay, maybe not the exact situation. Then again, who invented these things? Could have been one of us, in the future, traveling into the past, to help save the present. I've seen it happen before. That's how we got free cable.

  Bounding along effortlessly, Mindy asked, “Hey chief, why the rigmarole with the handle?"

  "The Snoopy is a suicide weapon,” George explained panting, his unshaven face red with the exertion of hauling the heavy backpack of ammo. Caseless or not, a couple of thousand rounds of anything slowed you down. “The atomic device detonates when you release the handle. Very 1960's Cold War sort of thing."

  Stroking an upper lip where his magnificent moustache used to be Father Donaher muttered something about the Pentagon and the seventh level of Hell. Wasn't that the one reserved for idiots?

  Mindy merely grunted. “So when the briefcase hits the dome and the glass breaks—"

  Blinding light erupted from below the cliff as if a million flashbulbs went off, and seconds later a thundering hurricane rushed upward carrying a barrage of shrapnel that heralded the goddamn loudest boom I ever heard. The whole island shook. Loose stones rolled down the mountain, and the stone stairway cracked apart into a million pieces, entire sections breaking away to start slipping down the slope. An avalanche of snow rushed past us, and I turned about to see the newly exposed summit of the mountain. Now in plain sight was an undersea diving bell positioned on top on the rocky peak. A 20th century diving bell covered with Arabic writing.

  Even as we fell to the vibrating steps, I cheered in victory. If that wasn't our goal, the source of new magic from Satan Department, then it would do until we found the real one.

  Frantically crawling together, Richard joined hands with Donaher and Jessica. The three began to hum tunelessly and the air around us filled with a sparkling rainbow of colors as the lethal wave of gamma radiation wave was neutralized. The gesture was appreciated, but dying of cancer was not our most pressing problem at the moment.

  The mountain was still trembling when the radiation finally faded away and we struggled to our feet. The team looked haggard, but there was no time for a rest. If we won, the team could relax later. Heck, I'd buy them a deluxe week in EuroDisney. Nice short lines for all the rides. But if we lost, there would be an infinity of profound sleep in the pine box motel.

  "A briefcase nuclear charge,” Donaher growled, straightening his cap. “I suppose it was necessary."

  "Abso-freaking-lutely,” I replied grimly,

  "So much for Odin,” Mindy agreed. “Even a small nuke will just ruin your day."

  "Then its over?” Jessica asked hopefully, lowering the barrel of her M16. “We've won?"

  I started to answer when I spotted the ice griffins bounding down the stairs towards us, their icy fangs bared for battle. Right behind them was an army of snowmen rising from the pristine white blanket covering the ground, hundreds of ice spears and glittering axes in their pudgy mittens. Checking the other direction, I saw the crystal warriors swarming out of the magic portal, the brick and cinder block wall smashed into rubble.

  "Don't break out the champagne quite yet, babe,” I said, spinning around and triggering a short burst from the M16 at the diving bell. But the deadly wreath of perfectly imbalanced tumblers merely chewed up some of the fat snowmen blocking the way. Damnation, they must know why we were here, and were acting as a living shield. We had to get closer. A lot closer.

  Father Donaher gasped and I turned around again fast, my weapon at the ready. Then I gasped, too.

  Rising into view from below was the dark top of a mushroom-shaped cloud. Even as we watched, the fierce thermal currents from the expanding dust shroud pushed away the magical cloud cover and clean pure sunlight came streaming through the widening hole. Ah, sweetness. Then my watch beeped with the ten minute warning. Never rains, but it pours.

  "Hold off the attack!” Jessica shouted into her wristwatch, fiddling with the controls. “Bureau, do you copy? Hold off the missiles!"

  There was no answer, only static. The hole gave us a brief window to the outside world, but this close to a nuke storm we might as well yodel for all the good a radio would do. But wasting precious seconds, we each tried our watches anyway, just in case, and got zero results.

  Now what?

  "Cheech and Chong!” I ordered, and my team raced toward the diving bell. That was the key.

  Pausing for only a split second, Father Donaher let the rest of us pass by while he whispered a short prayer in Latin to bless a satchel charge and then laid it reverently on the stairs. Then the big priest took off like a Wiccan leaving Texas. We were three levels away when the C4 charge cut loose, the strident blast only a pop compared to the nuke, but the detonation shattered an entire section of steps.

  Slapping in a fresh clip, I fired a few rounds at the trapped crystal warriors as they gathered on the other side of the smoking hole and made rude gestures. A few tried to go around and immediately slipped
on the icy slope, sliding out of control straight down the mountain and sailing majestically over the cliff into the heart of the mushroom cloud.

  "Your mother was an ashtray!” Mindy shouted.

  Good one. Just then a shadow engulfed us from above, and I spun around already firing. I had expected this. Big Bird had arrived. The misshapen form of the jabberwocky was bristling with claws, beaks, tentacles, horns, stingers, wings, heads, jaws, teeth, fangs, tusks, and every orifice dripped saliva, green ooze and some really icky stuff, too. The team cut loose with their weapons, sending a hellstorm of lead and silver at the winged wonder. Hissing, barking and screaming all at the same time, the jabberwocky soared away from us bleeding from a dozen minor wounds. After reloading, we quickly started running up the stairs once more. Yards counted now, maybe it was time to switch tactics.

  Without pausing, I tossed Richard the crossbow pistol, but kept the laser gun. Flipping the safety with the tip of my knife, I easily broke off the poisoned needle that popped out to stab my finger. Ah, Satan Department was so predictable. The tiny digital meter on the handle displayed the Arabic symbols for nine and eight. Was that 98%, or 89% charged? Actually, either way was okay.

  Minutes later, we reached the second level from the top and we were confronted by a line of snarling ice griffins. They were big, but slow, and we blew ‘em apart. But as I slammed my last clip into the hot breech of the M16, our pal Big Bird came silently arching around the mountain only yards off the snowy ground. Trying to attack us from behind eh?

  "George!” I shouted firing a short burst that way. “Incoming! Ten o'clock low!"

  Spinning about, the plump soldier cut loose with the Masterson. In a steady yammering, the 10mm caseless rounds of HE stitched across the chest of the beast in a series of sharp explosions, scales and feathers spraying outward in bloody geysers. Then a telephone pole size arrow took the thing in one of its many mouths, splitting the snake head apart. Jess and Mindy hosed it with silver bullets while Donaher held off the army of approaching snowmen. Damn. They were coming at us from every direction!

  Taking careful aim, I turned the stolen laser pistol on the living nightmare. The scintillating beam snipped off three of its barbed tails and cut a bloody furrow in the burning fur of its belly. Oh, that had to hurt. But despite the wounds, the flying monster came at us again and again, each time only to be repelled at the very last moment by sheer firepower. This thing was harder to get rid of than a Jehovah's Witness!

  As the jabberwocky wheeled away into the sky once more, I snapped off a shot at the diving bell, but only managed to vaporize one of the many snowmen standing protectively in front. That settled the matter for me. If they wanted the sphere intact, we just had to blow that sucker to Hell. However, the power gauge on my futuristic weapon was now reading 24%. We were rapidly running out of ammo, options, time and luck.

  "How you guys doing?” Donaher shouted, his shotgun booming in counterpoint to the steady chatter of Jessica's machine gun. The spent brass hit the stone stairs to musically bounce away.

  "Not good,” Richard grunted, launching another telephone pole. There was a touch of gray at his temples, and even for a wizard he seemed pale.

  "Wish we had a second nuke,” George snarled riding his bucking weapon into a tighter pattern. Wings and things were steadily being blown off the flying abomination, but Big Bird seemed to have an endless supply of both limbs and hostility.

  "Hot damn, we do!” I cried, slapping my forehead. Still firing, I awkwardly dug about in my shoulder pouch and lifted out the crystal ball bomb from the armory. “This ought to blow it into hamburger!"

  "Great!” Mindy cried, releasing an arrow towards the last ice griffin hobbling our way. The blast blew it apart into twinkling shards, and she turned her attention to the snowmen. But one of her quivers was completely empty, and the other was dangerously low. Soon this fight would go hand-to-hand, and that was when we'd start dying.

  Lowering the crossbow pistol, Richard seemed to have trouble speaking as he stared at the orb. “Where did you ... how ... You want to throw that at the jabberwocky?” he gagged. “Are you insane? Gimme!"

  Grabbing the sphere from my hand, Richard quickly tucked the crossbow into his belt, and awkwardly flicked his pocket lighter. The tiny butane flame danced about wildly in the wind, but the fuse finally caught with a sharp hiss.

  "Throw it!” George yelled impatiently, firing the Masterson in short bursts to conserve ammunition.

  "No way,” Richard replied smugly, and just stood there happily watching the fuse rapidly shrink. It was already down only inches away from the bomb.

  With surprising speed, Father Donaher charged at the wizard to grab the sphere when there was a blinding flash of light from the thing. Bracing myself for death, instead my vision fluttered as if the entire universe was switching through a hundred television channels, no, a hundred realities, in a split second. It was dizzying, but oddly pleasant, then the bizarre effect ceased fast as it began.

  Searching my body for any damage, I was seemed to be fine and then realized that all of us were now completely healed. Every scratch and bruise was gone without a trace. Our khaki jumpsuits were whole, clean and pressed with nice creases in the legs. Even our combat boots were polished to a mirror shine the envy of any Marine recruit. Each of us was freshly washed and shaved, and I felt totally revived, brimming with vim and vigor. Yowsa. The laser pistol in my manicured hand registered 100%, my ammo pouch was heavy with clips and new grenades festooned my chest. Even Richard seemed to be recharged, his silver staff pulsating with ripples of fairy energy.

  "Sun Bomb,” the wizard explained happily. “It ate a year of our lives, but I don't think anybody would really mind, considering the circumstances."

  So that was what I was supposed to find in the armory! God, I love genies. What swell folk they are. Then a ripping sound came from my haversack and Mindy's intact sword fell out. Springing forward, she caught it an inch from the ground.

  "Baby,” she cooed in delight, stroking the razor sharp blade. “Didums miss me?"

  "Oh no,” Father Donaher whispered from behind his bristling red moustache. “No, it can't be..."

  "Richard, you incredible nincompoop!” Jessica shouted, sending the sentence both vocal and mentally.

  Glancing around to see what could possibly be that bad, I damn near had a coronary. The smashed flight of stairs were completely repaired, the crystal warriors charging upwards in waves. The ice griffins were intact again, the snowmen were whiter than white, and now a tremendous igloo bristling with icy needles covered the diving bell. But more importantly, the jabberwocky looked twice as large than before with more wings, more fangs and an expression that could make battleships faint. Hoo boy.

  "Sorry,” Richard said sheepishly. “Didn't know it would do them, also."

  Her hair neatly coiled in a dainty coiffure, Mindy turned and kicked the wizard soundly in the butt. “Sorry?” she screamed. “I'll make you sorry, manna-for-brains!"

  "Incoming!” George shouted, over the fiery stuttering of the Masterson “High noon!"

  Whooping like the ultimate car alarm, the jabberwocky dove straight for us this time, vomiting streams of bluish liquid from its myriad of mouths. Gesturing wildly, Richard erected an ethereal shield that barely managed to deflect the fluid. Shooting off at an angle, the watery substance hit an outcropping of granite which vaporized into wisps of steam.

  "How come it didn't do that before?” Jessica demanded dropping a spent clip from the M16 and slamming in a fresh magazine. But pulling the trigger nothing happened. Angrily, she dropped the clip, smacked it against the stock to prime the first round, then shoved it back in and started wildly shooting.

  "Must have been weakened from the destruction of the temple,” Richard suggested, launching another telephone pole arrow at the winged wonder, while lightning crackling from the tip of his glowing staff to sweep across the amassed snowmen. Big Bird successfully dodged, the snowmen didn't and explode
d like popsicles in a microwave.

  "Joseph and Mary! Don't tell me the freaking temple is also repaired?” Father Donaher demanded, firing his shotgun in every direction.

  "Hell, I don't know."

  "Lord save us!"

  "Amen!” we chorused purely out of reflex.

  Diving close, the jabberwocky hissed, screamed, and spit out a barrage of ice spears. The silver slivers impacted everywhere in a saturation bombing. Jessica took a spear in the chest and was knocked off her feet, a bone audibly breaking despite her body armor. I caught an ice shard in the hip and a spear went by my head so close I felt the breeze of its passage and momentarily saw my own distorted reflection.

  Frozen shrapnel hit us hard as the rest shattered on the stairway. George got a shiny splinter rammed into his arm, Mindy leapt and twisted through the onslaught undamaged, Donaher was grazed in neck and head, while Richard transformed the deadly debris coming his way into snow and only received a powdery dusting.

  Dropping the shotgun, Donaher tore his backpack apart and took a stance with a HAFLA napalm launcher in each hand. Shaking the blood from his face, the good father triggered the weapons simultaneously. On twin columns of flame, the rockets streaked away. The first missed the beast completely, arcing harmlessly off into the distance. But the second hit the monster smack in the gut with grisly results. Every head screamed at the same time as a writhing clump of burning tentacles fell off its mutilated body to expose a bleeding hole of raw flesh. George concentrated his weapon on the open wound, blood spraying as the armor-piercing rounds chewed deep inside the beast.

  "Ed, cover me,” Richard ordered, kneeling on the ground. Hastily, he began brushing away the snow and ice to clear some space.

  "Cover you?” I snarled spraying the griffins with my laser. Their icy bodies exploding into steam at the touch. Spinning about, I started carving chunks of the staircase away. The crystal warriors tried to dive into the beam, so I stopped double-quick. Too damn many kamikazes around here to suit me. “When I get the chance, I'm going to kill you!"