by Alexa McLean
“What do they say about headaches?”
“Nothing.”
“I doubt they say nothing.”
“Forget I said anything,” I said, hoping that he would drop the subject.
All of a sudden, Ivan had me on the ground. I looked up and there I saw his handsome face inches away from mine. The weight of his body was pressed against my hips, driving me into the sand. “Maybe you’ve heard nothing but I’ve heard that the perfect cure for headaches involves a two-person tango.”
Immediately, my skin was aflame.
Was is he saying? I asked myself as my heart threatened to beat right out of my chest. Does he mean...?
Then came the laugh. It rumbled through his entire body. “But I think it’s way too good to be true.” He pinned a strand of hair behind my ear. “But that won’t stop a man from dreaming.”
“Ivan...”
“I should get going. It’s late.”
The magic that had enveloped us faded into nothingness. I tried to hold onto it, but it crumbled right before my eyes. Ivan had already gotten to his feet, brushing the sand from his pants.
I wanted to say something but my tongue felt glued to the roof of my mouth.
My heart was still racing from that mere moment of sexiness. It was just Ivan fooling around but my body had interpreted it as something more — much more.
“I hate to ask but do you think you could give me a ride back to Ben’s house? I’ve had enough walking for one lifetime.”
“Sure.”
“Thanks.” He rubbed the back of his neck. “And, uh, Lola?”
“Yes?” I looked up and something flicker in his eyes like a spark about to ignite.
He shifted his weight onto the opposite foot. “Never mind.”
I cocked my head to the side. “Ivan?”
“Never mind. Forget it.”
“Whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“I know.” And with that, he took my hand and walked me back to my car. He never got around to saying what was on his mind.
What was happening to my best friend and why did it feel like he was drifting away from me?
Chapter 5: Ivan
I ARRIVED AT MY FRIEND’S house going on two o’clock in the morning. I knocked lightly on the front door because Benjamin had warned me that his wife would probably be asleep by the time I swung by and it was never a good thing to wake a woman who had just delivered a set of twins.
The light in the living room was on and I saw someone’s figure cross from one side of the window to the other. I couldn’t tell whether it was Benjamin or his wife but whoever it was, they looked like a decapitated chicken running amuck. There seemed to be no rhyme or reason for their erratic movements.
Thinking maybe they had not heard me, I knocked a second time.
The figure continued to run around until, eventually, Benjamin opened the door with a baby in his arms. His face was drawn and his eyes sunken. If I had to guess, he hadn’t slept in a couple of days.
“Jeez, Ben, you look horrible.”
“Gee, thanks,” he grumbled before ushering me inside. “That’s exactly what you want to hear when you’re offering your home to someone.”
“Sorry,” I apologized knowing that I could not afford to have him kick me out. “It’s just that I’ve never seen you look like this. It’s like you’ve been dragged through hell and then wrung up to dry.”
“Twins,” was all that he said because as soon as he sat down, the sleeping twin started to cry which then caused the twin in his arms to start as well. It was chaos.
In the end, he shoved a baby my way.
“Help me.”
I felt sorry for the guy so I started to rock my arms in hopes of calming down the fussy child but there was no remedying whatever it was that had upset her. And that’s when I got a whiff of that horribly rancid smell. It was clear what the problem was and with Benjamin gone, it was left in my not so capable hands.
Now, in theory, I know what I’m supposed to do but I’ve had little formal training.
This was going to be... interesting.
I found a changing table tucked into the corner of the room. Gently, I placed the baby on its back and started to whisper soft, soothing words in hopes that she would calm down a bit. She was squirming so much and she had her arms flailing about so much that I feared that things would get messy — really messy.
“Shh, it’s okay,” I cooed. “I promise that you’ll feel much better once we get this stinky diaper off of you and into something fresh and clear. You just got to work with me here.”
But instead of compliance, I got a wail that echoed through the entire home. It sounded like I was murdering the kid.
“Hey, look at me, it’s okay!” I attempted a series of funny faces but the little tyke just wasn’t having it. Desperate to get her crying to stop, I grabbed a nearby rattle and used it like a maraca. This seemed to pique her interest because she stopped her crying and cocked her head in my direction. “Oh, you like that, do you?” I shimmed my shoulders. “Shake, shake, shake... shake your...” I trailed off because she was a little too young to be learning about shaking her booty.
I tried not to think of germs covering the rattle as I placed the rattle in my mouth. By bobbing my head, I was able to keep up the shake, shake, shake sound that she seemed to like so very much. Then, with my hands free, I got to work.
The smell was worse than anything I could have ever imagined. I knew that it would stink but not like this. I was near the point of gagging but somehow I managed to power through it and dispose of the soiled disappear before I could throw up all over the place. The rest was easy.
As I fastened the final tab, I thought about my future as a father. I had always imagined myself having children one day. Two was the ideal number — one boy and one girl. And I always knew who would make the perfect mother: Lola.
She’d pamper those kids with love and affection, I was sure of it.
I found myself daydreaming about our potential life together. It was only a dream at this point because with my company in shambles, I had nothing to offer her. Why would she ever settle for a failure when she could have her pick of any man on the planet? I had lost it all, Lola included.
“Oh man, thanks.” Benjamin returned with a fresh bottle.
He offered to take her from me but seeing that my friend needed a break, I decided to take on the responsibility of feeding her. I mean, I had changed her diaper — nothing would be worse than that.
And then she spit up on me, nearly getting me in the face.
“Sorry.” Benjamin retrieved a washcloth and helped get most of it off, but I knew that my shirt would remain forever stained. “Are you sure you don’t want me to take her from you?”
“I’m sure,” I answered. “This is good experience for the future.”
“The future?” he asked while rubbing at his eyes. He looked like he was about to keel over at any moment.
“Yes. One day I intend to have kids of my own.”
“Good luck,” he said. “It’s harder than you think it is. Trust me.”
“Oh, I believe you.”
The little girl finished up her bottle and fell asleep in my arms. Benjamin gestured towards a cot. There was an identical one right next to it where her twin was happily sucking her thumb.
I was careful about setting her down and supporting her head.
“You know, babysitting might be in your future.”
I laughed. “Are you kidding me?”
“Not at all. Babysitters make quite a bit of cash and I know you’re going to need it — all things considered.”
I sighed and sat down on a nearby loveseat. “I still keep on thinking that this is some sort of horrible joke. I’m waiting for someone to come out and tell me the punchline but it hasn’t happened and I don’t think it will.”
“I can’t imagine what you’re going through, man. To lose everything...”
His house became eerily quiet.
I was lost in my own thoughts and Benjamin was starting to fall asleep.
That’s when I heard the creaking of the stairs.
His wife appeared in the living room a second later with a scowl plastered on her face. “Benjamin!”
My friend jumped so high off the couch that I thought he would hit his head on the ceiling. “What?”
“Who the hell is this?” She glared my way.
“I’m Ivan Manning.”
“Manning?” she repeated. “You mean the same Ivan Manning that’s been all over the news?” She jabbed her finger into her husband’s chest. “He’s bankrupt! I’m not about to have some freeloader living at my house. We’ve got two kids to feed.”
“He just needs a place to crash for a couple of days, Georgia. Come on, there’s no need for you to act this way. If we kick him out, he’ll be on the streets.”
“Well, he should have thought of that before making horrible business decisions. Why should we pay for his mistakes.”
I got up. “I don’t want to cause any trouble between the two of you.”
“Ivan,” Benjamin started but before he could say anything else, his wife dragged him into another part of the house. I could hear them arguing and it wasn’t pretty. I hated the fact that I was causing my best friend any sort of grief.
I took off the last valuable I still owned — a watch. It was worth a couple of thousand dollars retail so at a pawn shop, it would probably fetch a decent price. I took it off and headed towards the sound of Georgia’s screaming.
She looked like she was about to hit her husband with a frying pan.
“I know it’s not nearly enough for the burden I am causing by staying here but hopefully it will make up for a small part of my debt.” I handed over the watch.
“What am I supposed to do with this?” cried Georgia.
“I think if you sold it at pawn they’d give you a couple hundred for it — maybe even close to a thousand. It depends on how stingy they are being and the current price for silver and gold and diamonds.”
Georgia’s eyes widened to the size of the moon. “Wait, you’re telling me that this thing is real?”
“Yes. I had the proof of authenticity but with my recent eviction, it is no longer in my possession.”
She looked it over. “I suppose you can stay for a little while if and only if I can get a decent price for this thing.”
“That seems fair to me,” I agreed.
“In the meantime, you’re free to stay on the couch downstairs.”
Benjamin showed me to the basement. “Sorry about Georgia,” he said. “She’s been a tad bit hormonal since the twins were born and it doesn’t help that they keep us up all night.”
“If you need any help —”
“Focus on finding a job and getting back on your feet because if I know my wife, she isn’t going to want you here for very long.” He looked like he was going to say something more but then the wailing started up again and he was forced to excuse himself.
With my friend gone, I settled into the couch. It was not comfortable by any stretch of the word. There were metal coils digging into my sides and the lack of a pillow made things even worse. Then, of course, there were the babies and the thundering footsteps from their parents.
There was no way I was going to fall asleep.
Still, I tried.
For almost an hour, all I did was toss and turn. I’d close my eyes only to open them and stare at the darkness. My stomach was tied in a knot. I felt like I was falling further and further towards rock bottom. One might think I was already there, but I feared that there was more to come.
In the end, I only managed to calm myself by thinking of Lola. I imagined myself sharing a bed with her and feeling the warmth radiating from her body. I wanted to believe that we were the perfect fit for one another but in my sorry state of affairs, I would only end up weighing her down. She deserved more than a deadbeat and that’s all I was.
SOMEHOW, I HAD FALLEN asleep.
By the time I woke up, my joints were stiff and I had a throbbing headache pulsating through my temples. I felt like death rolled over.
I was half tempted to fall back onto the couch and curl into a ball but if I wanted to get my life back on track then I needed to find a job sooner rather than later. So, I forced myself to climb those stairs. At the top, I found Georgia in the kitchen, making breakfast for herself. “You’re up,” she said, sounding unimpressed. “Glad to know that one person in this household had the luxury of sleeping.”
“Is there anything I can do to help?”
“No. I can take care of my own children, thank you very much.”
“I wasn’t implying that you were incapable of taking care of your own children,” I said, trying to defend myself.
She grunted in response and slid her omelet onto a paper plate.
I had no idea what I had done to this woman but she did not like me.
“Mind if I use your bathroom?”
“Go ahead,” she said like she was shooing off some annoying insect.
I bit my tongue to stop myself from saying something I would soon regret. This woman didn’t seem to be the kind of person that I wanted to mess with. So, I simply excused myself and made it out of there as soon as I could.
Once I left, I went to every single establishment in town asking for job applications but either they weren’t hiring or the job they needed to fill was something I didn’t know how to do. I didn’t know how to flip a burger or how to change someone’s car oil. I felt completely and utterly useless.
Still, I continued to drag my feet because I knew that giving up was not an option. I had nothing to fall back on. Georgia was gunning to throw me out and I had paid the couple with the only valuable item I still had to my name. There was nothing left.
AFTER A FEW DAYS, MY optimism had started to fizzle. I followed up with my applications only to receive rejection after rejection. I was never even considered for an interview.
Things were looking bleak and honestly, I didn’t know what to do.
With a sense of defeat, I returned to Benjamin’s home. I had plans to borrow his laptop and take my job search online but the apologetic expression on his face told me that something was about to happen. That hunch was solidified when he began to rub the back of his neck — a nervous tick that always gave him away.
“What is it?” I asked to ease his burden of breaking the silence.
“I hate to do this but...”
“You want me to leave,” I guessed.
“It’s not me, man, it’s the wife. She’s a little crazy right now with the twins and she just doesn’t like the idea of you staying here. I tried to reason with her but it got me sent to the doghouse.” He continued to rub his neck while avoiding looking me in the eye. “I hope you don’t take it personally or anything.”
“No, I understand,” I said. “You have a family to think of and I’m only getting in the way.”
“No! You were great with the girls. Honestly.”
I rested my hand on his shoulder and gave it a mild squeeze. “There is no need for you to butter me up and make me feel better. I get it.” I walked away before he could say another word.
It was difficult to pack up my stuff because I didn’t know where I would spend the night. Would I even have a roof over my head or would I find myself on the inside of a cardboard box?
Benjamin apologized profusely as he watched me go.
I didn’t look back.
Thankfully, my luggage bag had wheels so it was easy enough to wander through town, killing time. My stomach rumbled the second I walked past the diner. I thought about heading inside but I didn’t want to come across as someone looking handouts. So, I ignored my hunger and continued forward, letting my feet carry me wherever they wanted to go.
It was really no surprise when I wound up at Lola’s childhood home. I had gone there so many times as a kid that my body must have been operating on muscle memory.
The ligh
ts were on and I could tell that both mother and daughter were in the kitchen.
I stood there, rooted to the sidewalk, looking like an abandoned statue.
Lola’s laugh penetrated through the open window and tempted me with its sweetness.
Would I burden them with my presence?
They would want you to come in, came the voice at the back of my head. They wouldn’t turn their backs on you even if the rest of the world already has.
I wanted to believe that the voice was speaking the truth but at the same time, I knew it was possible that I was only telling myself what I wanted to hear.
Lola and her mother have always supported you in your time of need. This is no different. Go inside.
And so, swallowing my pride, I walked up to the front door and knocked.
Chapter 6: Lola
“MOM, ARE YOU SURE THAT this rice is sticky enough? The sushi is just falling apart when I try to roll it up.”
“It’s all about the technique,” she said as she pushed me out of the way with a playful hip bump.
“Fine, fine. Let me see this master technique of yours,” I said as I stepped aside.
She rolled up her sleeves and cracked her fingers.
I rolled my eyes. Leave it to mom to make something as simple as rolling up sushi a dramatic affair. Sometimes, I swear she was born in Hollywood or something.
“See?” she boasted as she revealed her ‘masterpiece’ which, as I had suspected, fell apart the second she stopped applying pressure. The expression on her face was utterly priceless. There’s nothing like making your mother eat her own words.
“What did I tell you?”
“I don’t understand.” She snatched up the directions off the counter and brought them so close to her face that her nose nearly touched the paper. “We did exactly as it said!”
“Maybe we forgot to turn on a specific setting on the rice maker.” It was our first time making sushi. For some reason, my mother had ordered a rice maker online and now I was paying the price for her impulse buy. “Are you sure you don’t want me to order Chinese food or something? I think Dim Sum Goods has California rolls on the menu.”
