by Grace Davies
My eyes shoot open, I’m awake. My erratic breathing too difficult to control. In that moment, I know. I know that dream was a prediction, a prediction of what will happen tonight. Saying yes to Roman’s proposal was a major mistake, what was I thinking? Of course he isn’t actually going to go with me. Why would he? It would be a reputation disaster on his part, and we all know his father won’t be happy with it. Why put himself in more danger just to go on a pity date with someone like me?
I stare at the ceiling for hours, my brain racking through all the reasons I should go to the Ball. So far, I’m unlucky, I don’t have one measly thought of why I should go through with this. So I’m not. I’ll stay up here in the dorm and watch films all evening, who’s really going to miss me anyway?
“Millie? You okay? We’ve been up and talking for an hour now and you haven’t moved once. You’ve just been staring at the ceiling.” Lola sits on the end of my bed.
“I can’t go. It was a mistake.”
“What was a mistake?”
“Saying yes to Roman. Saying I’d go to the Ball, at all. Look at me, I don’t fit in there. Yes, I’ve bought a pretty dress but I’d look ridiculous. Pretty dresses aren’t made for people like me, they’re made for people like you.”
“That’s nonsense. You looked stunning yesterday when you tried it on and you look even better tonight. You’re going to blow everyone away. No one will laugh at you, if that’s what you’re thinking. Tonight you’re going to show everyone that you don’t care what they say and you’re going to have fun.”
“I don’t know.”
“Trust me. Tonight is about you having fun with your best friends and Roman. I might not like the guy but I can see you’re much happier with him around and I want you to be happy. He’ll be there waiting at the bottom of the stairs for you and he’ll be stunned at how beautiful you look. I guarantee it.”
I finally sit up and face her. “Lola, you always know how to make me feel better.”
“I know I’m the best. Now get up and let’s get you ready.”
“Ready? It’s only 9am, the Ball starts at 6pm.”
“Yes, but Rome wasn’t built in a day.”
To say our dorm is rather spacious, it sure became tiny when everyone is rushing around. We took it in turns to shower in the communal bathroom and now we’re rotating round the room helping each other with out makeup and hair. Drying my hair before Georgina helps me style it, Teddy wanders into the room looking cheerful.
“Hey girlies, how we all getting on?” He sits down next to me.
“Very busy, very stressed.” Angelica sighs, adding the finishing touches to Harley’s make up.
“Well, I just thought I’d stop by and offer my services if they were needed.”
“Would you be able to help me pick out what jewellery goes with my outfit? I’m not good with this stuff.” Lola sighs.
“You ready babe?” Georgina calls.
“You bet.”
We spend the rest of the afternoon, rushing about, making ourselves look perfect for the Ball. Angelica did my make up for me and I helped Harley with her hair. I gently curled her hair and pulled into a small side bun, the different tones of her ginger hair making it almost glisten in the light. It’s time to get dressed now, each taking it in turns to make our big entrance.
Teddy comes in first, looking handsome in his suit. He’s styled his hair so it differs from his classic floppy hair. Lola is next in her purple jumpsuit, her hair curled for a change, light make up applied to her face.
Angelica struts in, looking stunning: a sleeved royal blue dress hugging her figure; mesh material at the top with blue embroidery; a knee high slit in the skirt of the dress; strappy silver heels complete the ensemble. Her beautiful hair is curly and voluminous with small silver clips hidden in the waves.
Next up is Georgina. She enters the room giving her best model walk, her platinum ponytail swishing as she walks, posing in the centre of the room. We holler at her while she shows off her outfit: a pale pink jumpsuit with floral detailing along the waist; a large bow at the neck, connecting the jumpsuit to a flowing floor length cape. She grabs the end of her cape wafting it a few times, looking like a Spanish matador.
Harley is hesitant when she enters the room. She tiptoes in, her head down. Dressed in a pale grey, short sleeved, knee length dress with lace across the top, Harley looks unrecognisable. If you didn’t know her as well as we do, you wouldn’t think she was the same person. She looks mature, confident, even though her body language says differently.
“Harley, you look beautiful.” I beam.
“Really? Is it too much with the make up and the shoes?” She asks.
“It’s very you.” Teddy smiles at her.
“Your turn now Millie.” Georgina urges me to get changed.
I go behind the blanket we hung as a makeshift changing room and carefully slip on my dress, making effort not to not smudge my makeup or mess my hair. I step into my kitten heels and look at myself in the mirror. My hair is styles straight, unlike its usual curls, with a few front pieces pulled back into a waterfall braid. My makeup is simplistic: nude shadow dusts my eyelids, pale pink blush on my cheeks and a nude lip gloss painted on my lips. I admire my dress in the mirror. It’s a tulle side split, below the knee of course, A-line dress with sleeves. Small lilac flowers are dotted about the bust, few congregated at the ends of the sleeves and hem of my dress. A lilac ribbons cinches my waist, accentuating my curves. I look at myself in awe. I look even better than I ever imagined I could.
“Millie, the suspense is killing us.” Lola calls.
“Yeah, get out here girl.” Angelica adds.
I pull the makeshift curtain back with a dramatic swish and step out into the centre of the room, waving my hand as the royal family do. I look at my friends, their eyes wide, mouths open in shock.
“I thought you looked great yesterday when you tried it on but my God look at you now!” Teddy exclaims.
“Roman will be knocked off his feet when he sees you.” Georgina states, the others nod in agreement.
“Should we get going? It’s just after six, we don’t want to be too late.”
“I’m just gonna grab my bag and I’ll meet you all down there.”
The girls and Teddy file out as I rummaged though my wardrobe, grabbing my purse and the small box containing Roman’s necklace and earrings. I walk over to the mirror and put them on, the charm of the necklace falling perfectly inline with the V of my neckline. Though the shade of green differs to that of my dress, it completes the look. I take one last look before turning to leave the room. I notice Harley sat on her bed, looking glumly out of the window.
“Harley what’s wrong?”
“I don’t know if I can face it. I’m still humiliated after Charles asked me as a joke.”
“Harley, listen to me. You look gorgeous, you do. We’re going to walk down those scary stairs together and you’re going to show all those jerks that no matter what they say they can’t hurt you because you are Harley freaking Cockle and you’re a queen.” I suddenly remember something my mother gave me when I was little and rush over to my wardrobe.
“What are you doing?”
“Before my grandmother died, she gave my mum this in hopes she’d wear it on her wedding day. When my mum realised that was unlikely she gave it me and now I’m giving it to you.” I show her my hands, inside them is a small wedding hair comb decorated with silver flowers, each with a blue stone in the centre.
“It’s beautiful.”
“You’re going to wear this in your hair tonight to remind you that you are a queen and so much better than those arseholes who belittle you. You going to walk down those stairs with pride and make Charles wish he’d ask you for real, when he see’s how gorgeous you look. Okay?” I slide the clip into the back of her hair, above her bun.
“Okay, lets do this.”
I grab her hand, giving it a tight squeeze and walk out of the dorm.
Reaching the top of the stairs, Harley pauses in fear. I claps my hand in hers before whispering, “remember, they can’t hurt you.” She gives me a nod before taking a deep breathe. Squeezing her hand, we descend the staircase, stepping carefully, making sure we don’t trip. I suddenly begin to panic as my dream comes flooding back to me. My breathing becomes more ragged but just as I’m about to run in the other direction, I see him. There at the bottom of the stairs is Roman Kingsbury. He’s actually there. He’s looking down at the floor but I can already tell he looks gorgeous. His hair is freshly washed, I can tell by the way his curls fall. Though he dresses smart everyday, today feels different. He’s dressed in all black: a crisp black button down shirt underneath a lightly detailed black suit, all drawn together with a green tie. Of course. As we edge closer, his head raises, his eyes meeting mine for the first time. His face lights up causing my cheeks to blush. Not far behind him is Foundry, looking at me intently, an odd look etched on his weathered face. He makes me feel slightly uneasy but ignore him and just focus on Roman. We make it to the bottom of the stairs and Roman comes over to greet us.
“Harley, you look beautiful.” He smiles at her.
“Thank you,” she replies shyly.
“I’ll see you in there.” I give her a hug. “You‘ve got this.” I remind her as she walks into the ballroom to join the others.
“Millie, you looking absolutely breathtaking. I see you went for green.” He smirks.
“Well what other colour could I possibly go for?” I tease. “You look really handsome.”
“I do, don’t I?” He gloats.
“Oh shush.” I roll my eyes, smiling at him. “I see you’re wearing my gift.” I notice the silver cuff links on his wrist.
“And you’re wearing yours.”
“Indeed.”
We can’t help but just stare, losing ourselves in each other’s eyes.
“Should we go in then?” He holds out his arm for me to take.
“Do we have to?” I ask, my nerves suddenly returning.
“Mil, it’s going to be fine. We’re here to have fun and that’s all that matters.”
I take a deep breath before grabbing his arm and braving myself to enter the Ball. A soft violin plays as we make our way over to our assigned table. I’m very conscious of all the eyes on us as we do so. Just like my dream all the students, all the teachers: staring. But they’re not laughing. Some people look annoyed but loads look happy.
“They’re happy for you.” Roman whispers.
“I wouldn’t be too sure.” I reply noticing Charity scowling in the corner. Dressed in a skin tight, strapless red dress she truly looks like the devil, but a beautiful devil none the less. We reach my friends who’re all stood round talking to Althea, who is chaperoning the dance. Henry, who’s nestled closely to Teddy, smiles at me as we approach.
“Althea!” I rush over to give her a hug.
“Millie. My darling you look beautiful. Who’s this young chap with you?”
“Roman Kingsbury ma’am.” Roman smiles politely.
“Ah Mr Kingsbury, of course. I knew I recognised you.”
“Grammy was telling us about a new trans rights campaign she’s working on.” Teddy tells me.
Althea starts explaining her campaign and protest strategies but I can’t pay attention as I notice Roman pull Harley to one side.
“I just wanted to apologise to you. What Charles did was not fair at all, I knew that at the time but I still didn’t stop him. He’s my friend but that doesn’t mean I shouldn’t stand up to him when he’s being a dick.”
“Wow. It means a lot you apologised but it wasn’t your fault. Why would you stick up for me anyway? You don’t even know me.”
“But I want to know you. Millie talks so highly of you and if you mean so much to Millie, you mean a lot to me.” I blush at his comment.
“Millie, is lucky to have someone like you.”
“I’m the lucky one.” He smiles looking over at me. I quickly turn my head, desperately hoping he didn’t notice me watching. They walk back over to join our group, Roman eying me suspiciously.
“Something catch you eye?”
“Nope, nothing at all.”
“Mhmm.” He replies with a chuckle.
“Good evening students and welcome to Kingsbury Prep’s annual Midnight Ball.” Foundry’s voice beams through the speakers. “Now as I’m aware you’ve all been taught some basic ballroom moves by Professor Brennan. Well, now is the time to showcase your dance moves.” The orchestra positioned on the stage begin to play a piece of classical music as we take our places on the dance floor. Professor Brennan counts us in, 5,6,7,8, and we begin our short routine. Roman dramatically twirls me around the floor, we flow from move to move as if dancing on air. I look round at the other couples on the floor: Lola and Georgina laugh as they step on each other’s feet; Angelica has found a skinny brunette guy to dance with, her face glowing in happiness; Harley dances flawlessly with Teddy. My brows furrow in confusion: where did Henry go?
The music fades and we give the orchestra a round of applause as they start playing George Michael’s Careless Whisper. Most of the students take this as a moment to sit at their tables but I drag Roman and my friends to the middle of the dance floor.
“Oh here we go,” Angelica mock complains as I sway to music.
“What do you mean?” Roman asks.
“Millie is obsessed with old artists like from back in the day.”
“Iconic artists.” I correct her.
“Sure and she goes into a trance whenever she hears music from one of them. It’s kinda like she’s possessed.” She laughs. “So if you wanna shut her up for a while just play her some Queen or some Wham and she’ll be quiet for hours.”
“I can hear you mocking me, but I don’t care.” I continue to dance around.
“At least my girl has taste.” Roman replies, instantly stopping my dancing. Everyone stares at him in shock. He looks confused before realising what he said. “Er... I mean my girlfriend... not girlfriend but girl friend... notice the pause.” He coughs nervously.
Georgina bites her lip to stop herself from laughing while Angelica just smiles at him.
“Okay, sure.” Lola teases.
He looks at me terrified. “Don’t stress Ro Ro.” He groans at the nickname.
“If you could all take your seats, the meal will now commence.” Foundry announces.
Chapter Twenty-One
The expression of feelings
“Wow I’m stuffed.” I breathe, leaning back in my chair.
“That meal was phenomenal.” Roman comments.
“You’ll have to thank my mum later.”
“Millie she’s here now.” Lola signals me to turn around.
Walking through the door dressed in a floor length wrap dress is my beautiful mum. She looks tentative as she walks in but beams when she sees me. I get up from my seat and rush over to hug her.
“Mum, look at you!”
“Look at me, look at you! My God, look how grown up you look.” Tears fill her eyes.
“Don’t cry mum, today’s a happy day. Come say hi to my friends.” I pulled her over to the table. “Guys, this is my mum, Melanie Anders.”
My friends introduce themselves one by one.
“It’s lovely to finally meet you all, Millie has told me great things about you all.” My mum smiles.
“This is Roman Kingsbury.” I direct my mums attention to Roman who’s stood nervously next to me.
“It’s a pleasure to meet you Miss Anders. That meal was phenomenal by the way.”
“Call me Melanie, Miss Anders makes me feel old.” My mum jokes.
One of my mum’s favourite songs begin to be played so I pull her to dance with me.
“You too Althea!” I call over my shoulder. We make our way onto the dance floor, not caring who watches us.
Twirling each other about, we lose ourselves in laughter. As we’re dancing I notice a few of the t
eachers congregated together in a corner, watching me, whispering. My mum snaps me out of my thoughts telling me she’s going to the toilet, Althea decides to join her so I’m left alone.
I spot Roman talking to Charity and Charles, although I really don’t want to talk to the evil C’s, I what to spend this night with my date.
“I’m just saying, look at her. Why are you here with someone like that?” Charles scoffs. “I mean yeah she looks hot tonight, which is shocking, but she’s still a guttersnipe.
“You should be here with someone like me.” Charity moves closer to him, running her hand along his arm.
I turn and run straight out of the ball and down the corridor. I’ve never been so embarrassed in my life. I came to this ball with Roman thinking what, that everyone would be accepting? How could I be so stupid? I bet Roman’s in there now agreeing with them. God Millie, why are you such an idiot? Tears blur my vision, my heart hammers in my chest; I feel nauseous but I keep running. I collapse breathless onto a bench, out of sight of the ballroom. I try to catch my breath as I feel myself begin to panic. My breathing becomes more erratic as I feel a presence beside me.
“Mind if I sit?” Althea smiles at me wryly. I can’t speak so I just nod. “Don’t try to speak, focus on your breathing.” She rubs my back soothingly as I begin to calm down, my heart no longer pounding in my ears.
“Thank you,” I sniffle.
“Are you okay, my dear?” I shake my head, tears threatening to fall again.
“No,” I admit. “Is it supposed to be this complicated?”
“What’s complicated?”
“This thing, whatever it is with Roman. I love being around him and he makes me happy, happier than I thought I could be but just as easily and as quickly he makes me happy, he infuriates me when he doesn’t stand up to his friends. I wish we didn’t have all their opinions weighing in, it makes everything worse.”
