by Grace Davies
“Millie, there’s always going to be people thinking they have a right to an opinion on your life but they don’t, because it’s your life. You say Roman makes you happy.” I nod. “Then that’s all that matters.”
“I don’t know if it is. Did you ever feel like you weren’t good enough for Evelyn?”
“All the time. The number of guys who tried to charm her I can’t even count on two hands. She was the life of every party, this walking beauty. I was just a bold and boisterous introvert, I still am. I never thought I was good enough for her, but she felt the same towards me. We all have our insecurities Millie, some more than others, but the people who love you, love you because of all your flaws. I say just talk to him, tell him everything you feel. It might backfire, but you never know till you try.”
“Millie,” I hear Roman shout from down the corridor.
“I think now is your chance chick.” Althea gets up from the bench and gives me a hug. “You can do it Millie.”
“Thank you Thea.” I relax into the hug.
“Remember, don’t let the bastards get you down.” She whispers in my ear before kissing my cheek and walking away.
“Millie, where are you?” Roman shouts again as his eyes lock with mine. Talking to Althea I thought I could do this, but seeing Roman in front of me I know I can’t. I walk off quickly in the other direction.
“Millie, just stop. Stop walking away from me.” Roman calls from behind me, making me run faster. I feel his hand grab arm as he spins me round to face him. His eyes hold a myriad of emotions: fear, worry, sadness.
“What’s the point? Everything they said about me was right. Everything they said about us. I don’t know why we’re even doing this. We’re too different. I’m not good enough.” I sit on a mahogany bench and begin to cry. I’m right I’m not good enough. Why did I think I was? It just hurts that I’ve realised this after my heart is already his. Not that he knows that though.
“Millie, look at me.” I keep my head down, not looking. Knowing that if I do my heart will break. “Please.” The desperation in his voice raises my head to look at him. A look of immense pity clouds his face. I don’t want his pity. I look at him expectantly, waiting for him to speak.
“The day I met you I didn’t particularly like you, but I was intrigued by you. You were so different from everyone else. You called me out for being a dick, for acting entitled because of my name. All my life everyone has just sucked up to me, be it for money or connections. I’ve never had anyone tell me the truth, tell me what they think. But you were different. You told me exactly what you thought of me the instant you met me and have continued to do so every day since. The night you found me at the tree, I snapped because I was embarrassed. I’ve been brought up to be a ‘man’ and not show emotions and there I was sobbing in the dark in front of some girl I didn’t know. When I watched you run away from me that night, I knew there was something special about you. I knew you were right: I had to change. So, I did. Every day I try my hardest to be a good person, be someone worthy of you. Charity and Charles were way out of line, they don’t even know you. Not like I do. All they see is a girl who has a chef for a mum and less money than they do. Do you know what I see? I see you. I see a someone strong, independent. You stand up for your friends, for your mum. You care for me even when I don’t deserve it. You ignore everyone’s comments and just be you. I see all the great things about you, but most importantly I see someone I like. I mean really like. My ‘friends’ can say whatever the hell they want to say about you, about me, about us but that won’t stop the way I feel about you Millicent Anders. I don’t care about my reputation; I don’t care about my money. All I care about is you.”
Tears escape from my eyes and splash onto my dress. I’ve been waiting so long for him to say something like that to me, to finally reveal his true feelings and now it’s here I’m speechless. I stare into his beautiful emerald eyes, full of hope, of fear. “Please say something Millie.” His voice cracks.
“I don’t know what to say. I’m speechless. Part of me wants to believe you, the other half knows this can’t end well. Too many people will have an opinion, it’s not ‘normal’ for you to want someone like me. I’m sorry I don’t know if I can.” My heart breaks as I say the words. I’ve fallen for him completely but I can’t be stupid here. I know what will happen if we try this. “I’m sorry Roman.” I whisper as I start to walk away.
I get halfway down the corridor before I hear footsteps behind me. His warm fingers wrap around mine, giving me a gentle tug. “I can’t,” I struggle to keep in the tears.
“Well, I can.” Pulling me closer to him, he leans forward, his lips hovering over mine. He retreats slightly looking into my eyes, asking for permission. I couldn’t stop this if I wanted to, I want it too bad. I give him a slight nod before his lips crash into mine. The pure ecstasy, the elation flooding my body as I lose myself completely in the kiss; in this blissful, perfect moment. I hardly notice when Roman pulls away. Eyes pouring into mine, his hand gently moving a strand of hair from my face. I start to giggle unable to help myself.
“Woah, why are you laughing?” The panic is evident in his voice and on his face. “It wasn’t good was it? I’ve never done it before. I knew I shouldn’t have done it.”
I can help but smile. I place my hand on his cheek before pressing my lips to his again. “It was perfect.” He sighs in relief. “I was laughing because this would’ve never happened on that first day but look where we are now.”
“Look where we are now.” He laughs. “I like you Millie, far too much. I know we’ll have pressure on us but I don’t care. I want to be with you.”
“I want to be with you.”
“Is that so?” He raises an eyebrow, smirking at me. “In that case.” He lowers to the ground, resting on one knee. “Millicent Anders, will you be my girlfriend?”
I roll my eyes at his dramatics. “Get up you idiot,” I laugh pulling at his arm.
“Not until you give me an answer. I’ll stay here all night if I have to.” I stand there slightly looking at him. This Roman is so different to the one I bumped into on my first day. That obnoxious ‘cockalorum’ is a mere memory. I could have never imagined how much he would mean to me. How that beautiful boy, with his money and his attitude, barged his way into my heart.
“Yes.” I decide to put him out of his misery.
“Yes? Really?” He almost falls at the shock of my answer.
“Yes, now get up. We have more dancing to do.” I grab his hand and run back into the ballroom.
Taylor Swift’s Love Story is blaring from the speakers. He spins me round before we dance to the song, over exaggerating every move in correlation to the lyrics. I can see people watching us but I don’t care. I’m too happy to care. I see my friends watching, laughing at us. I drag them over to join us and we spend the night laughing and dancing like lunatics. Just me, my crazy friends and my Roman.
As the night draws to a close, we’re the only few left on the dance floor. The girls decide to head back to the dorm but me and Roman stay for one final song. We sway gently to the calming music emitting from the speakers.
“I’m so happy,” Roman whispers.
“Me too,” I whisper back.
“I’m going to get my jacket, back in a sec.” He walks away and I notice Althea helping clear away some of the mess. I wander over to her.
“Millie.” She beams. “It looks like it went well?” She smiles at me knowingly.
“Better than well. I can’t thank you enough Thea, that talk we had really pushed me. Teddy’s lucky to have you as a grandmother.”
“You have me too dear, I mean it. Whenever you need me, I’ll be there. You’ve helped my grandson more than you know; my gratitude will forever be yours.”
I lean across to hug her, a tear rolling down my cheek. I sense a presence behind me, allowing me to know Roman is back.
“Mind if i escort the lady back to her chamber?” Roman bows in front of
Althea.
“Why of course Master Kingsbury.” She plays along.
Roman slips his jacket over my shoulders and takes my hand, leading me out of the ballroom. I look over my shoulder at smiling Althea, winking at me. I tighten my grip of Roman’s hand and follow hip outside.
“where are we going?” I ask but i already know.
We make it to the tree and it is decorated with the most beautiful fairy lights and origami birds, hang from the branches.
“what’s all this?”
“This was how I was planning on asking you to be my girlfriend but obviously things changed.” He laughs.
“It’s a shame, it’s really beautiful.”
“Yeah it is.” He replies looking straight at me. “I didn’t want it to go to waste seen as I out the effort in. Those paper birds aren’t easy you know, I’ve got about a million paper cuts.” He pouts.
“Aww poor Ro Ro.” Charity’s pet name for him.
“ugh don’t call me that.” He cringes.
I giggle at his discomfort. “What’s the purpose of all the decoration now then?”
“Our final final dance of the evening.” He pulls out his phone, Kate Bush’s Wuthering Heights begins to play.
“Nice,” I smile at him knowingly. Rather than dancing romantically we just let ourselves get lost in the music, creating extravagant movements to the words. The song ends and we burst out laughing.
“That was amazing, thank you.”
“We better get you back to your room. You’re chamber awaits ma’am.” He holds out his arm for me to take.
“How very kind of you sir.” I laugh.
He walks with me back into the school and all the way to my dorm. I pause when we reach my room, handing him his suit jacket back.
“I’ve had the most perfect night, Roman.”
“Only one slight hiccup.”
“With us there’s always going to be one slight issue.” I smile.
He leans closer to me pressing him lips to mine. The kiss is gentle, tender: perfect. He pulls away, a hinge smile etched on his face.
“Goodnight Millicent Anders.”
“Goodnight Roman Kingsbury.”
I watch him walk away before unlocking my door. This really was the best way to end the most amazing night. I sigh a deep contented sigh before closing the door behind me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
The events of the midnight ball
I awake, completely happy for the first time in my life. We all had fun last night: my friends, my mum, Roman. I never imagined I could have this many people in my life who care about me and my happiness. It’s only ever been me and mum, so even her loving and caring for me seemed a lot but now I know how wrong I was. It’s a great feeling to be loved: to always have someone to talk to when you’re feeling lonely or upset; to have inside jokes with friends that make you laugh for what feels like years. I’m so lucky to have my friends and my amazing mum. I now have Roman too. He may be trouble most of the time, but I know he has my back and I have his: always.
“Someone looks very cheerful this morning.” Lola states, peering over the top bunk at me.
“Well why wouldn’t I be? Last night was amazing. I have amazing friends, a boyfriend...” I pause giving her time to register what I’ve said.
“A boyfriend?” Lola practically screams.
“Who has a boyfriend?” Angelica sits up in bed, looking like a zombie.
“Millie.”
“Oh my God.” Angelica leaps out of bed and runs over to mine. Harley and Georgina follow her.
“Spill everything!” Georgina urges.
I take them on a journey through all of last night’s events: Charity and Charles being dicks as per; Althea’s advice; Roman’s speech; our kiss. I see their facial expressions change as I recount my night.
“Millie, I’m so happy for you.” Harley smiles at me.
“I still don’t like him.” I look at Lola. “But, if you’re happy, that’s all that matters.”
“Thanks guys, it means a lot. Enough about me though, tell me about your night’s.”
Angelica beams from ear to ear as she eagerly tells us about her night.
“After walking into the ball, feeling very conscious and self-aware, I stood to the side waiting for you all to join me. Feeling very on display, I began to play with the detailing on my dress, as though to hide myself from watchful eyes. It wasn’t until a few minutes later that I realised, a gorgeous boy was stood beside me. He introduced himself as Julien Harrow, as in Harrow Hotels, and complimented me on my dress. I went completely giddy, it’s never happened before, I’m normally confident around others but from the start he turned me to mush. He disappeared off to his friends when you all joined me but came back when we had the commencement dance. We spent a lot of time together over the night, he kept disappearing but I didn’t mind: I was besotted. Still am, to be honest. He walked me back to the dorm at the end of the evening. He said he’d see me around some time, I hope that is the case.”
“She’s in love,” Georgina mocks in a dreamy voice.
“Oh, shove of,” Angelica pushes her off the bed, Georgina landing with a thud.
“Literally,” I laugh.
“Well, while you were getting wifed up.” Lola looks at me pointedly. “You missed Harley. She was a right firecracker.”
“Harley? No way.” I turn my attention to the petite ginger.
“I was just having fun.” She replies shyly.
“She was having the time of her life. Dancing her little socks off. Dancing with boys.” Lola winks.
“With boys?” I tease.
“I never told you the best part. I noticed Charles watching me while I was dancing, it was creepy. Anyway, when I went to get myself a drink, he came up to me and stood obnoxiously close. I just ignored him, didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of talking to him. He told me I looked very pretty and he was ‘in awe’ of how I was letting myself go. I still didn’t respond but I did laugh, loudly. He claimed he was telling the truth and suggested we have a dance together. He then whispered something in my ear which is just too horrid to repeat so I stamped on his foot with my heel and walked away.”
We sit there in silence, staring at Harley.
“Harley, I’m so proud!” I wrap my arms around her. “I told you, you were a Queen and last night you proved it.”
“It felt so good. I have to thank you Millie. Maybe your confidence is rubbing off on me.”
“Well, I’m glad I could help but my confidence is a facade. I just can’t stand idiotic, rude people.”
“You helped me anyway and I’m so grateful.”
“Oh no, does that mean we have another Millie? How will the world cope?” Lola ‘faints’ dramatically.
I reach over and push her off the bed, causing her to land on Georgina. I notice an unusual look between the pair as Lola slides off Georgina.
“What about you two? What did you do last night?”
They look at each other apprehensively before quickly replying.
“Nothing.”
“Just spent time together.” Lola’s eyes flick to Georgina, almost in a panic.
I’m about to question their awkwardness when Teddy shuffles into the room looking sad.
“Hi girls.” His usually smiling face holds a deep-set frown.
“Teddy what’s wrong?”
“Hm.” He replies, distracted. “Nothing. I mean, things didn’t go great last night. With Henry I mean.”
“Come sit and tell us all about it.”
The pair had planned to meet at the bottom of the stairs, the place where most couples had decided to meet. Theodore stood there nervously, wringing his hands together in an attempt to take his mind off his fear. Teddy felt at home in his clothes, something that didn’t happen often. His red suit with black embroidered flowers fitting his body perfectly, disguising his ever so slight curves, the curves he was self-conscious of. He was lanky, that was obvious to anyone who looked
at him but what they couldn’t always tell was that the slight wideness of his hips made him conscious. He always wore baggy clothes to hide this but tonight in clothes that actually fit him, he had never felt so good about himself.
Taking a deep breath to calm himself, Theodore looked up at the stairs to see Henry only a few inches away from him. Breathe, he told himself. His heart beating loudly in his chest as he took in his date’s appearance. Henry was dressed in a simple black suit with a red tie, his ginger hair slicked back making him appear older, more mature.
“Hi,” Henry smiled at him.
“You look amazing!” Teddy told him, feeling speechless.
“So, do you. You look stunning in your suit. You look brave.”
“I don’t feel so brave.” Teddy admitted looking at the floor.
“I get that. If I’m honest, I’m terrified to walk in there. No one knows about me.”
“Well very few know about me. We have each other and that’s all that matters.”
“Should we do this?”
“Better now than never.” Teddy grasped Henry’s shaking hand, giving it a squeeze.
Looking at one another one last time, the pair walked into the ballroom hand in hand. Eyes immediately fixed onto the two boys holding hands causing Henry to pull away. Theodore felt hurt when he did so but he understood it. He was nervous too. Maybe he just needed more time, Theodore knew he shouldn’t force it. Catching up with his friends, he felt more at ease, more comfortable. After chatting for a while, it was time for the commencement dance. Apprehensively stepping onto the floor, Theodore took Henry in the classic ballroom hold. The orchestra began the music and Henry stepped away.
“Henry, what’s wrong?” Worry washed over Theodore’s face.
“I can’t.” Henry mutters before running out of the Ball.
“Need a partner?” Harley asked.
