Sins of the Father

by Fleur Beale

  They arrived at the Sounds where the boat was waiting to take them out to the bach. For Phil it was very much déjà vu, except that this time, Sandy was seven and a half months pregnant, he was planning to take her out of the country, she didn’t have a passport, and he knew she would refuse to sign the papers to allow him to get one for her. More problems to solve.

  David came with them, acting as Phil’s security. The eight of them settled into life at the bach, although Phil told David that if he saw a suspicious-looking boat coming, he was to get the shotgun and shoot below the waterline as a warning. He was so focussed on his goal of saving his family that shooting at anyone tying up at the jetty seemed the obvious and right thing to do, since it was likely that Sandy had described to Neville where the bach was. Phil’s fear of a raid by Neville was so acute that David slept outside, lying on one of the steps leading up to the bach.

  Phil woke early the morning after their arrival to find that Sandy was missing. He tore out of the bach, saw David still asleep with the gun untouched beside him, then he saw Sandy. She was wading out into the bay, her long dress billowing around her as she went. The two men dived in after her, grabbed and pulled her back to shore.

  It broke Phil’s heart. She was nearly eight months pregnant, and although she was a strong swimmer, she couldn’t possibly have swum far enough to find a phone and ring the community. The noise had woken the children and Phil stood back, hoping their love would help her settle. She tended to them, but he could see that she was still keeping the emotional barrier up. Worse was to come. She refused to eat. He didn’t know if she was so traumatised that she couldn’t, or whether she was choosing not to. Her pain, though, was real. She wanted to be with the children, was desperate to be their mother, but by now she had had a further six months of Neville’s conditioning. She was torn, distraught at being once again catapulted into the outside world against her will.

  The day passed, and the next, but still she didn’t eat. Phil decided she would have to see a doctor, but taking her in to Picton would be too dangerous. He rang the television company who had filmed the abduction and explained the situation to them. They hired a helicopter and flew in a doctor who gave Sandy some medication. It seemed to do the trick; either that, or the chat with the doctor had reassured her. She began eating again and Phil felt it was safe to continue with the organisation required to take his family out of the country.

  The passport and visas were the next problem to solve. Phil secretly peeled off the stickers from the visa forms, sat the kids at the table and organised them into a game of practising their signatures. They wanted their mother to join in, which she did. That gave him her signature. He got the camera, took everyone outside and clowned around, managing to get a suitable head shot of Sandy.

  David took the film, and the passport application with Sandy’s signature stuck on it, to Wellington for processing, while Phil figured out a plan to get them all to Auckland where they would catch a flight to the States. Money to pay for the trip wasn’t a problem as he’d sold all their belongings, including the boat. The problem was going to be getting to Auckland without Neville discovering where they were. It was a toss-up between taking the ferry to Wellington and flying to Auckland from there, or driving the whole way, a trip of over 600 kilometres which could well take ten hours. Either scheme was fraught with danger because the longer they were in the public eye, the more likely Neville would be to discover their whereabouts. Phil was certain his father would have hired investigators who wouldn’t have any trouble finding them once they were on the road.

  So far, though, luck seemed to be on Phil’s side. Thanks to help from a friend who was an MP, Sandy’s passport was processed overnight, and by mid-afternoon the following day, Phil had it in his hand. It was a huge relief to have cleared the first hurdle. He was still undecided over the best method of getting them all safely to Auckland Airport when he got a phone call that evening. The anonymous caller explained that he’d heard the story of how Phil was trying to keep his family together, and he wanted to help. ‘Be at Blenheim Airport tomorrow morning where a plane will be waiting to take you to Auckland Airport. There are seats reserved for you all on a flight to Los Angeles.’ He told Phil what time to be at Blenheim Airport, and ended the conversation.

  There was such a sense of things happening beyond his control for the good of his family that Phil accepted with gratitude and without question. He rang the Hutterites to say they were on their way.

  There was no time for questions, nor to wonder who the mystery benefactor was. Phil told Sandy and the children to pack everything up, but didn’t tell them where they were going.

  The weather broke overnight so that the family woke to rain blasting sideways on a nor’westerly gale. They struggled down to the jetty with their gear, Sandy trying to keep her balance as she carried Crystal. It was a rough trip to Waikawa Bay and by the time they arrived they were running late. Phil hustled his family into the car then ran to help David with the last of the luggage. Would the plane wait for them? Would it even take off in this weather? There was no time to worry. David jumped into the driver’s seat and they were off, with him driving fast, trying to claw back some of the lost time.

  The children were asking, Where are we going? What’s happening this time? Is Uncle David coming too? But they weren’t worried; Mum and Dad were both with them, and Dad was in that hyped-up mood where everything was fun and exciting.

  The airport was deserted apart from a ten-seater twin-engine plane emblazoned with the Christian Aviation logo, that was waiting on the tarmac where it rocked in the wind. David drove as close as he could but the three adults still had to hold onto the children for the short distance as the wind ripped at them, knocking them sideways. Sandy shepherded her children down the aisle and buckled them in while David and Phil threw the luggage on board.

  The children waved back as David said goodbye, before he disappeared out the door for the last time. Their dad grinned at them. ‘What an adventure, kids! Your first flight. Except for you, Israel. You can tell your sisters what’s going to happen.’

  Up front, the pilot turned around to give them a smile while the co-pilot did a quick check to make sure everyone was buckled in correctly. ‘We’re going to have a few bumps, but don’t worry. We’ll be perfectly safe.’

  They took off. A few bumps! The wind caught the plane, tipping it sideways, then it dropped, rose, and lurched its way up to the cruising altitude. Israel hung on, listening to his mother praying behind him, her voice high. Would God look after them, or would they be blown out of the sky and fall on the ground? This wasn’t like the other flights he’d been on, but those planes had been much bigger. This one felt so tiny – it kept falling and tipping as the wind tried to smash it to bits. Somebody was crying. Mum kept praying the whole way. In front of him, though, was Dad’s solid figure, and every now and again he’d turn around to grin at them all. Even so, Israel wished they’d hurry up and get to Auckland. He didn’t know where they were going after that, but it had to be better than this.

  Phil scarcely noticed that they were being thrown around the sky. For him the entire episode had a feeling of unreality. Their escape from Neville was meant to be, and a bit of rough weather wasn’t going to stop it.

  Finally their plane landed in Auckland where Sandy thanked God for their deliverance. The pilot radioed one of the airport police officers, a fellow Christian, to come and meet them, then he and the co-pilot helped the family gather their belongings and disembark. Phil, carrying Crystal, helped a wobbly Sandy down the steps behind the children. He held Crystal with one arm and Sandy with the other as the police officer ushered them through the airport. The kids stopped inside the doors. ‘Dad! They’re calling our name! They’re talking about the Cooper family!’

  They were right. The Cooper family were required to board their aircraft immediately. Phil’s heart sank. They were never going to get through immigration in time, especially if Sandy said she was being taken
out of the country against her will, or if Neville had discovered what was happening and alerted the authorities. Their name boomed again over the speaker.

  However, instead of taking them to immigration, the police officer led them through a side door, and out over the tarmac to the waiting plane. Phil entered last, glancing behind him, fully expecting to see his father charging towards him. He helped Sandy and the children settle into their seats, all the time looking at the door, waiting for the moment when Neville would appear. Even when the plane began to move, he couldn’t relax. Once they were in the air, he slumped back in his seat, closed his eyes, and slept all the way to Los Angeles. The strain of the past weeks had finally hit him. Sandy tended to her children and kept her feelings to herself.

  The whole episode later merged into a blur for Phil: the tight schedule, the trip from Blenheim coming so unexpectedly, and the clandestine departure from Auckland without getting their passports checked or stamped. After a stopover in Los Angeles, they flew to New York where they were met by members of the Woodcrest community. Woodcrest, the founding community of the American Bruderhof Hutterites, was in upper New York State, two hours out of New York City. They welcomed the family wholeheartedly. Three days before Christmas was a magical time to arrive; it was snowing and the entire country seemed to be sparkling with lights and bright with decorations.

  Quarters had been prepared for the family. They walked in and stared in amazement at the eight Christmas trees – a small one for each member of the family and a big one for all of them. Sandy had to explain Christmas to the children since none of them had ever experienced the pagan celebration in Neville’s community. Neither had Phil, but until she was 16 Sandy had lived in the world, with typically worldly Christmases. The children were entranced.

  The best was yet to come. On Christmas Day the Coopers joined the whole community in the big dining hall where there were tables set up for each family. They found the one with their name on it – piled high with parcels wrapped in colourful paper. There were gifts for each of them, piles of gifts. The children overcame their awe and began unwrapping the first presents they’d received in their lives: hand-crafted toys and clothing, colouring pencils, scented soap, lollies and biscuits. All around them other families tore paper from their own presents. Phil looked around the room, at the laughing people, the big Christmas tree and the decorations. Wow! If this is a pagan celebration, give me more!

  For the children, Christmas set the tone for their years in America. Along with the months in the Sounds, it was the happiest time of their childhood. Sandy hadn’t been able to keep them at an emotional distance for long, and she soon thawed towards Phil, too. They had a loving, supportive community around them and they were a proper family again, strengthened by relatives making the journey from New Zealand to visit them. Faith and Alan came; so did Wes and Ellen who had been so kind in giving them the use of their bach. Sandy’s father Judah came and stayed for some time. It was special for the children to have their grandfather with them.

  The children felt as if they’d arrived on a peaceful shore after all the turmoil and upset they’d gone through in New Zealand. For Israel, Woodcrest was like all the good bits in the New Zealand community with none of the bad. It was what Neville’s community could have been like.

  Phil hoped that living in a strong and Godly community would give Sandy the strength to stay away from Neville and his beliefs. There were similarities between the two communities because the New Zealand one had taken its founding principles from the Hutterites, adopting the modest dress and the God-centred mode of life. The Hutterites celebrated their faith in joyous worship whereas in Neville’s community life was starker, with Christmas, Easter, birthdays, the names of the weekdays and the months all forbidden because of their pagan origins. By now Phil’s own faith was shaky, and although he went through the motions of worship, he was very cautious about God and he didn’t want any involvement. Gradually though, the simple strength of the Hutterite faith impressed him. He couldn’t get over the fact that they released their children into the world with their blessing. If they chose to come back – which most of them did – then that was good, but if they didn’t, they were still members of the family and could visit freely or be visited out in the world. He found it almost unbelievable that children who had rejected their father’s faith would still be loved and accepted members of the family. This was unconditional love in action, something of which he’d had little experience.

  The children settled into school and Phil went to work in the workshop where the community manufactured equipment for the disabled.

  Sandy’s baby was almost due, and she appeared to be adjusting. She and Phil talked about why he’d abducted her yet again, and again he told her he wanted them to be a family. He asked her to give him six months and then if she still wanted to go back, he wouldn’t make any more attempts to take her away. He was confident she would stay with them; everything was set up for success and the longer she was away from his father, the stronger she would become.

  The baby was born on February 6 1991, and they named him Andreas after the Hutterite elder who had taken the family under his wing. Two months after his birth, the family had to pack up and drive across the border into Canada, apply for new visas, and wait till they came through. They lived with Hutterites in Manitoba for about three months, and when Phil saw that the small communities were struggling to make a living at farming, he set up a workshop and taught them to make waterbeds, which, as far as he knows, they have continued to do.

  The children relaxed, revelling in having their family whole and happy again. There was a sense that their family was re-forming, particularly when Judah came to stay with them. But the home videos Phil made of their days in America show Sandy almost always wearing the blue dress from New Zealand. She had long dresses given to her by the Hutterite women, but these were patterned and weren’t quite as long as her blue dress. She never wore them unless she had to. On video, she holds herself somewhat aloof during a riotous sports day where all the community are gathered and play games. Bearded, dignified men play catch with water-filled balloons which always burst to soak the catcher. Everyone cheers and there is much laughter. Women form teams for a nail-hammering competition. Adults and children pair up for a game that involves rushing from one side of the big circle of participants to the other. Toddlers wander around and are picked up for a cuddle or comfort by the nearest adult. Everybody participates, or watches laughing from the sidelines. Sandy smiles and responds only when somebody approaches her directly.

  Although Tendy was only five when the family arrived in the States, she remembers the fun of the concerts they took part in, and she recalls Israel and Dawn singing at a wedding. The big spring and winter carnivals were exciting, especially the winter ones where they made igloos out of the snow. She can remember silly things, too, like getting caught for stealing her dad’s secret stash of liquorice which he kept in a cupboard. When the kids came home from school at lunchtime, they would wash their hands, but before going to the communal dining room, they’d climb up and sneak the liquorice. Tendy put hers in her dress pocket but one day it fell out and the man who was serving came over to tell her she’d dropped it. Busted! Phil sent her back to their quarters without her lunch. She remembers walking out of the big room with all the families sitting together on long benches at the tables, watching her go. But her happiest memories are of living with the Hutterites in America and Canada.

  All the children were settled and happy, spring had come, and the countryside was beautiful. There were school expeditions to lakes, picnics in the sun, and an overnight camping trip with singing around the campfire as the sun went down.

  But Sandy was struggling. The children have memories of hearing her crying at night after they were in bed. At one point during the months in Canada Phil realised he didn’t have her passport. She had hidden it from him and now he suspects that there was a plan afoot to take her back to New Zealand. He believes she
must have made the decision to return just before they left Canada because, as she’d done in Christchurch before she left him, she asked him to make love to her. He’d been out working all day and got home to find the children organised and ready for bed. She’d put on the prettiest of her Hutterite dresses and once the children were asleep the two of them went to bed. It was a night of passionate intensity and all he could think was that at last, this was his wife, the real Sandy. It was a unique night in their lives.

  But only two or three weeks after the family returned from Canada, she disappeared for an entire day. Phil and others searched the community for her but then he thought to check what she might have taken with her. The only thing missing was her passport. He was terrified for her safety. Why hadn’t she talked to him, asked him to let her go home? He had given his word that he’d let her go home after six months if she still wanted to, and she must have known he would keep that promise. He never found out where she went, but assumes it was New York City and she was so inexperienced in the ways of the world that anything could have befallen her. She came back that night, but she was in a deeply distressed state. He knew this was the end. It was a bitter realisation – but she was married to two men, and she had chosen his father. Neville had finally won.

  Phil talked to the Hutterite elders, asking them what he should do. They talked to Sandy as well and, in the end, they all saw that she would have to return to New Zealand. The Hutterites bought her a ticket and all that was left was for her to say goodbye to her children.

  She spent the night before she left holding Andreas and sobbing, ‘My baby. How can I leave my baby?’

  Israel, Justine and Tendy all remember the day she left, although the girls were too young to realise that she was going forever. Phil came to the school, called the children out of class and told them their mother was leaving. She’d come and gone before so they just thought she was going away on a little trip.