My Ex-Best Friend's Wedding

by Wendy Wax

  “My father never forgave me for running from the altar, for being pregnant and unmarried, for refusing to give you up.” Kendra swallows. “He found all of those things humiliating. A poor reflection on him.” Her hands twist together. She looks down at them for a moment before forcing herself to meet my eyes. “I never understood why he always chose public opinion over his own flesh and blood. He never acknowledged that my mother suffered from depression. Maybe if he had she would have received better treatment. Would have had a chance of getting better. I’ll never know.” She shrugs. Unlike Shane Adams’s shrug that revealed a lack of feeling, my mother’s reveals too much. “And I didn’t treat my mother any better. Deep down I never really forgave her for being too weak to stand up to him. For choosing to please him instead of choosing her daughter and granddaughter. Though I guess that’s a little bit like refusing to forgive a Chihuahua for not being a Doberman.”

  She pauses and draws a breath that even I can see is shaky. “It turns out forgiveness is a tricky thing. It’s hard to ask for. And even harder to give. Especially all the way and without reservations or conditions.” She looks at my father and her face fills with what looks like amazement. “I still don’t know how Jake has managed to forgive me for keeping you from him. But I am so very grateful.”

  She meets my gaze again. “I can only say what I said before. I honestly believed I was protecting you both. And I guess I was trying to protect a stranger who reminded me too much of my mother. The thing is, my parents died before forgiveness was ever asked for. And all these years despite the hurt and anger I still feel, I wish more than anything that we had found a way back to each other. In the end, Lauren, we never know how long we have.”

  “So just to be clear. You’re going to do me the favor of letting me forgive you because anything can happen and we could die at any time?”

  We stare at each other. I want to step into her arms. But I still want to rail at her. To punish her. I am an adult and yet I feel like a child. And I know that I’m behaving like one.

  Jake steps forward as if he wants to add something. Without breaking her eye contact with me she shakes her head and he stops.

  “No, this is not an asking for or granting of a favor. Nothing I say will erase what’s happened or give you the forty years of family life you didn’t have. I wish I could. I wish I could go back and fix it all. From the moment I ran or even thought about running. Just think how neat and tidy it might have all been. But I can’t do that.” She reaches out a hand to gently cup my cheek. “The time has come to choose, Lauren. Whether to hold on to your hurt and nurse your anger like my father did. Or to let go of it so that we can have a future together. We may be getting a late start, but we can be a family. In every way that matters. From this moment on.”

  I look into my mother’s eyes. They shimmer with the unconditional love that has always been her greatest gift to me. I realize this choice is as simple and elemental as it gets. There is only one real question. And this is not the first time I’ve asked it. How could I ever choose a life that didn’t include her when I am only who I am because of her?

  This time the answer is clear. I don’t stop to second-guess it. She opens her arms. I step into them the same way that Lily stepped into Bree’s. My father gathers us to him. We hold on to one another as if we never intend to let go. We’ve lost forty years. None of us intends to lose a minute more.

  Epilogue

  Lauren

  Two weeks have passed since Bree’s and my wild ride in a nor’easter (not a bad title, by the way) whose name I plan to forget as soon as possible. It hovered over the Northeast for most of a week, turbulent and malevolent, drenching the earth and creating havoc.

  That storm, and the race to find Lily, changed my life. It washed away old hurts and gave me back my best friend. It showed me just how brave my mother has always been and taught me that needing others is a sign of strength, not weakness.

  It was as if some unseen hand reached down and not only revised my entire story but wrote a better ending. Filled with so many things I never thought would be mine.

  “Are you sure you can walk in it?”

  We’re in my bedroom at the Sandcastle. My mother and Bree are helping me into THE DRESS. It’s been hemmed so that I can wear it barefoot on the beach today. When I marry Spencer.

  Ha! You weren’t expecting that, were you? Neither was he.

  It’s just that when you’re forced to confront who and what matter most to you, not marrying the man you love as soon as possible feels foolish, maybe even dangerous. I mean, look what happened to my mother.

  Fortunately, when I called Spencer and asked him if he was up for an impromptu wedding and whether he had any formal beachwear on hand his answer was “Hell, yes!” He arrived with his parents two days ago, carrying a Miami Vice–inspired white linen suit and a jaunty panama hat.

  “You look so beautiful.” My mother’s tears are happy ones. So are Bree’s.

  They are my attendants. My father—I still can’t believe the joy I feel every time I think or say this word—will be walking me down the aisle, or, more accurately, the crossover onto the beach. Our wedding party is small, just our parents, Lily, and a seriously chastened Clay. Deanna, who has all the requisite online credentials, will be officiating.

  Lily delivers a tray with three flutes of champagne. The wariness in her eyes has begun to fade, but there’s a new maturity about her since we raced to her rescue only to find that she’d rescued herself. “Spencer’s suit and hat are awesome. I might have to look for Miami Vice on Netflix.”

  Today is just for us. Our real wedding. The one that matters and that I’ll show pictures of to our children if we’re lucky enough to have them. The one we’ll be keeping to ourselves and not sharing on social media or through our publicity outlets.

  Our “public wedding” will take place next June in a picture-perfect spot here on the Outer Banks—there are a ton of them to choose from—when the anniversary edition of Sandcastle Sunrise launches at Title Waves. Then I’ll be wearing something chosen during my appearance on Say Yes to the Dress and the guest list will be considerably larger.

  (Hey, I might not always like the business end of publishing, but I’m not stupid. And those dresses at Kleinfeld were fabulous!)

  “Ready?” Jake pops his head in as I’m taking a final look at myself in THE DRESS with my newly restored best friend at my side.

  “Almost.”

  “Okay, I’ll be back in five.” He shoots me a wink then devours my mother with his eyes. A lump forms in my throat when I see her devour him back.

  I turn to Bree. My no-longer-ex–best friend. “Before we start, I . . . I want to apologize for being such a grudging maid of honor when you and Clay got married. And . . . well, I hope things work out however you want them to.”

  Her smile is calm and assured. “I think the experience with Lily may have finally made him realize that his actions have repercussions. And I’ve made it clear that I’m no longer willing to settle for anything less than a true partnership and a real marriage. I hope we can make things work. But I’m ready to live without him if I have to.”

  “That’s good.” I smile back, wondering how I ever let go of our friendship or questioned her strength. I pick up an envelope and hand it to her.

  “What’s this?”

  “A matron of honor gift.”

  “But . . .”

  “Open it.” I watch as she removes and unfolds the single piece of paper. Then I wait while she reads the acknowledgments for the fifteenth-anniversary edition of Sandcastle Sunrise that I finished writing just last night. It names her as cocreator of the original idea that inspired Sandcastle Sunrise.

  “Is this . . . Do you mean it? Is this really going in the book?”

  “Yes. I should have recognized you and your contribution a long time ago.”

  “This i
s so . . . so . . .”

  “Nice? Generous? Right?” I prompt. “It’s not like you to be at a loss for adjectives.”

  “Very funny,” she says, though I can see tears misting her eyes. “You’re making my makeup run. I bet this is just a ploy to look better than me in the wedding pictures.”

  “I’m wearing THE DRESS so that’s supposed to be a given,” I tease back even as my eyes fill, blurring my vision. Just having her back is greater than any gift I could come up with. “You’ll also be getting a share of royalties for your contribution. Retroactively and in the future.”

  “You can’t be serious.” Tears begin to fall even as she smiles.

  “Oh yes, I can.” I wrap my arms around her. Despite what I do for a living I simply don’t have enough words for what’s in my heart. “And when Heart of Gold gets published I expect to be asked for a cover quote. I’ll be sure to use way too many really great and highly wonderful yet evocative adjectives.”

  My mother comes and joins in our hug. Now we’re all crying. But no one arrives to scold me about runny makeup, or judge, or try to quash anyone’s happiness.

  Finally, we dry one another’s eyes. Moments later I rest my hand on my father’s arm and follow my mother and my best friend out onto the beach with a heart that’s light and filled with love.

  * * *

  After we exchange our vows my new husband feeds me wedding cake. Everything about him is fine and delicious. When his hand is empty I lick the last bits of icing off his fingers. “Our next wedding you can choose the food and everything else,” I promise. “Maybe Café Boulud will deliver.”

  “At this particular moment, food is the last thing on my mind.” His eyes are warm and filled with love. “You look incredible in that dress. I can’t wait to take it off you.”

  I shiver with happiness and anticipation. “Maybe Lily will wear it next. And after that our daughter, if we have one.”

  “That would be perfect,” he murmurs. “You are perfect. THE DRESS is perfect.” He kisses me so thoroughly I begin to forget what we’re talking about. “But I think it’s going to be worn again way before that.”

  He nudges me gently and I follow his gaze to my parents. They’re standing off beside a dune. As we watch they melt into each other. Their lips meet.

  * * *

  What can I say about THE DRESS?

  I can tell you it looks as perfect on a beach as it does in a church or fancy venue. That it appears to be impervious to sand and salt spray. And that it should not be blamed for the occasional wrinkle in its history. Like people, a wedding dress can sometimes take a while to deliver on its promise.

  I think there’s a good chance my mother will be wearing THE DRESS again soon.

  And when she does, I don’t think she’ll have any problem saying I do.

  Acknowledgments

  I had never visited the Outer Banks before I decided to set a novel there. Having grown up in a beach community on the Gulf of Mexico, I thought I had an idea of what to expect. I was wrong. In fact, I was unprepared for the bold, intense, sometimes frightening beauty of this place. Of its remarkable history. And of the equally bold and remarkable people who live there.

  I am especially grateful to Beth Storie, who moved to the Outer Banks at the same age and time as my character Kendra Jameson and helped me understand what Kendra would have found when she arrived and how she might have felt about it. She and husband Michael McOwen are the owners of OuterBanksThisWeek.com and the Cameron House Inn in Manteo, where I had the good fortune to stay while doing research. Their knowledge of the area and contributions to this story are greatly appreciated and too many to enumerate. My Dogwood Inn is drawn from their lovely B and B near the Manteo waterfront.

  It was Cameron House Inn manager Chris Daniels who made our stay there so special and who shared her philosophy, experiences, and recipes. (I’m still trying to lose the weight I put on eating her desserts, which were available 24/7.)

  Thanks also go to Tama Creef, Samantha Crisp, and Stuart Parks II of the Outer Banks History Center for their time, knowledge, and materials that gave me a sense of history on which to base this contemporary novel. And to Aaron Tuell of the Outer Banks Visitors Bureau.

  I’d also like to thank Anne Snape Parsons, photographer, artist, and all-around marvelous person, for her warm hospitality, for answering questions, and for hosting such a lovely luncheon with the Girlfriends Book Club.

  I‘ve tried to do the Outer Banks and its inhabitants justice, but given how fiercely they love where they live, I feel the need to point out that this is a work of fiction. (I make things up for a living!) Any mistakes are my own.

  I also want to thank the intrepid Ingrid Millen Jacobus, who joined me on the research trip to the Outer Banks and made it even more enjoyable. We worked in TV together right out of college, and I treasure our friendship. Here’s hoping I can tempt her into traveling with me again.

  Special thanks to author-pal Mary Burton and cousins Alan and Gayle Sidenberg for sharing their knowledge of Richmond and surrounding areas.

  And, of course, huge thanks and hugs go to Susan Crandall and Karen White, longtime friends and critique partners, for all they bring to my work and to my life.

  Questions for Discussion

  Kendra kept a terrible secret from her daughter, Lauren. Do you understand why she made that choice? Would you have been able to forgive her if you were Lauren?

  Kendra left Jake at the altar. Have you ever witnessed a bride or groom back out at the last minute? Similarly, in the part of the ceremony where the officiate says, “If anyone can show just cause why this couple cannot lawfully be joined together in matrimony, let them speak now or forever hold their peace,” have you ever witnessed someone actually objecting during the ceremony?

  Kendra never married because no one could compare to her first love Jake. When Jake enters her life again, is Kendra happy about it? How has time changed them both? Why do you think it’s easier for Jake to understand the decisions Kendra made than it is for Lauren? Do you know where your first love is now? If you didn’t stay together, do you wonder what would have happened if you had?

  Do you believe in love at first sight? Did you know you were going to marry your current spouse the moment you saw him or her? What was the deciding factor?

  Lauren and Bree were such close friends. What kept them from resolving their differences? Have you ever had a close friendship that ended? What happened? Do you wish you could make up?

  Bree’s marriage is not the fairy tale she was hoping for. What do you think of her reasons for staying with her husband? Would you do the same?

  Both Lauren and Bree are writers, but they have pursued their writing careers very differently. Why do you think that is? Do you have any interest in writing a book? Do you think you would approach it more like Lauren or Bree?

  How do you feel about Lauren and Spencer’s relationship? Do you think relationships are harder or easier as you get older?

  The book takes place in New York City and the Outer Banks, very different places. Do you see yourself living—and thriving—in one of these settings more than the other? Why?

  Kendra acts more like Bree’s mother than Bree’s biological mother. What are the qualities of a good mother? Did you understand why Lauren is sometimes jealous or resentful of Kendra’s relationship with Bree?

  Both Lauren and Bree wanted to wear the wedding dress handed down through Lauren’s family. Is there a similar tradition in your family? If not, would you like to start one? Would you like to see your daughter wear your wedding gown or do you think each bride should choose a dress she falls in love with?

  Both Lauren and Bree wanted to wear THE DRESS, but they envisioned very different weddings. Do you think brides are often pulled between what they envision and fami
ly obligations and expectations? Did you or do you have a clear idea of what type of wedding you wanted or want? What was your favorite part of your wedding or a wedding you’ve attended?

  Photo by Beth Kelly

  Wendy Wax, a former broadcaster, is the author of fifteen novels and two novellas, including Best Beach Ever, One Good Thing, Sunshine Beach, A Week at the Lake, While We Were Watching Downton Abbey, The House on Mermaid Point, Ocean Beach, and Ten Beach Road. The mother of two grown sons, she left the suburbs of Atlanta for a high-rise in town where she and her husband are happily downsized.

  Visit her online at authorwendywax.com and on Facebook at facebook.com/authorwendywax, and follow her on Twitter @Wendy_Wax.

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