Liar's Lullaby: A Dark Mafia Romance (Mazzeo Mafia Book 1)
Page 38
“That’s not true.”
“You’re beating yourself up for shit you have nothing to do with and no control over.”
She shakes her head, and then I see her eyes flit over my shoulder.
“Evie!” she cries, scrambling forward.
I turn just as my daughter opens her eyes fully. She looks confused and a little flustered as she takes in her unfamiliar surroundings.
“Charlotte…? Papa…?”
“Hey, kiddo,” Charlotte croons, clutching her hand. “I’m right here. We’re both right here.”
Evie looks around, with a puzzled expression. “Where are we?”
“In the hospital,” I answer. “We were in a little car accident.”
“But you’re going to be okay now,” Charlotte adds gently. “Everything’s going to be okay.”
Evie looks reassured for a moment. But then her eyes start to dart around frantically as they fill with panic.
“Where’s Paulie?” she cries out. “Where’s Paulie?”
Oh, shit.
My heart drops—until Charlotte opens up her bag, the one that’s hanging off her chair, and pulls out the raggedy toy.
He’s still wearing the bowtie I got for him.
Evie’s face relaxes immediately. She slumps back against the pillows in utter relief. When Charlotte offers her the toy, she sweeps him into a tight hug.
I glance down at Charlotte. It’s the first time since we arrived here that her face brightens a little.
The underlying sadness remains.
Half an hour later, we’re all cleared to go home. I cradle Evie in my arms and we make our way out of the hospital.
I have Giovanni drive us back to the compound. I sit in the back with Charlotte and Evie. Within minutes, Evie falls asleep.
Her head sinks into my lap, while her legs are sprawled over Charlotte.
To any outsider looking in, we look like the perfect family.
Charlotte glances at me and I catch her gaze.
“How’d you get the toy?” I ask.
She blushes. “I was in a daze, honestly. I went back and looked in the wreckage. He was still there. Still buckled in, even.”
I shake my head. “You’re—”
“I know I’m crazy,” she interrupts. “But he’s important to her. I had to.”
I smile. “I was going to say ‘amazing.’ You’re amazing.”
She clearly doesn’t expect that, because she flushes immediately and drops her eyes.
The rest of the drive back to the compound is silent.
When we arrive, I carry Evie up to her room and tuck her into bed. I make sure to place Paulie next to her in case she wakes up in the night.
I sit next to her for a minute, aware that Charlotte has stayed downstairs.
I don’t mind.
I’m happy to be alone with my daughter for a bit.
I stare at her fluttering eyelashes, trying to remember what my life had been like before she’d come into it.
It’s strange that I can’t visualize much. Everything’s vague. Indistinct.
I study her features.
With her eyes closed, Evie’s resemblance to Sonya is more pronounced. Soft, pretty features. A long face, pale brows, little upturned nose.
I don’t know what happened to her since she vanished from my life.
But I do know that, for at least a period of time, she deliberately kept my child from me.
That makes me very fucking angry. Depriving me of a single minute with Evie…
It’s unforgivable.
I push back the anger and focus on the fact that Evie is with me now. That she’s alive and well.
Thanks to Charlotte.
Charlotte.
It’s clear she’s been pulling back the last few days. Ever since the attack, something has changed.
Is it the same thing that caused Sonya to leave?
The glimpse into my world?
This life is not for the faint-hearted.
I lean in and place a kiss on Evie’s forehead. She doesn’t even stir.
Then I put on her nightlight and slip out of the room. Instinct takes me to the kitchen, knowing I’ll find Charlotte there.
Sure enough, she’s sitting at the kitchen island, a glass of water in front of her.
Her slender fingers grip the glass, beads of condensation already dripping down onto the island.
She glances up when she sees me, but her eyes are still far away.
I move around the island and sit down next to her. We’re so close that my knee brushes against hers as I adjust myself on the barstool.
She flinches automatically.
“Water?” she offers, holding out her own glass for me.
“I’m good.”
She nods numbly and puts it back down.
“I can make you something to eat.”
“You don’t need to do that.”
“I don’t mind. Cooking helps clear my HEAD.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“Oh. Okay.”
The silence drags on for several minutes, but it starts to feel heavy.
“You saved Evie’s life today,” I say.
Her brows furrow, her forehead wrinkling with tension. “I… that’s not…”
“Listen to me,” I interrupt, putting my hand over hers. “You saved her life. And I want you to know how grateful I am.”
Her eyes meet mine. It feels like the first time in ages that she’s looking at me—really looking at me.
The blue in her irises are bright but wavering. It’s as though she’s close to tears, but I can’t see any.
“I will be forever indebted to you,” I finish.
Her lower lip trembles for a second. “Lucio—”
I shake my head. “I don’t know what’s going on with you. And I don’t care. Whatever it is, I know you can handle it.”
“That’s not what I’m afraid of.”
“Then what are you afraid of?” I ask.
She bites her lower lip and turns from me. I think she’s about to answer, but then I see her jaw seal together.
“Charlotte?”
She nods.
“Look at me.”
She brings her eyes reluctantly to mine.
I reach out and graze the side of her jaw with the back of my hand. Her eyes close for a fraction, as if she’s savoring my touch.
Then she pulls back. And I feel the wall go back up again.
She gets off the barstool and backs away, putting at least five feet of distance between us.
“Charlotte…”
“I can’t,” she says tearfully.
“I’m trying to talk to you.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she says. “We shouldn’t be having conversations at all. We’re not a couple. We’re not even really friends. You’re the man who abducted me. And I’m the fool who stole from you.”
She gestures between us, her expression screwing up into raw pain and uncertainty.
“You don’t have to talk to me. You don’t have to explain anything to me. And you don’t have to thank me—”
“Charlotte…”
“I don’t deserve your gratitude, Lucio!” she yells. “I don’t deserve anything from you!”
Then, just as quickly as she blew up, she retreats behind her numbness again.
“I should go,” she whispers. “Evie might need me.”
Before I can say a word, she turns and walks out of the kitchen.
I keep my eyes on her as she walks down the broad corridors.
I watch her until she disappears up the stairs.
And for a long time, I sit in the dark, empty kitchen, wondering what the fuck had gone so wrong, so fast.
44
Charlotte
Three Days Later—Lucio’s Kitchen
It’s been three days since the attack.
And things are still strained between Lucio and I.
He’s ignoring it. So am I.
But it’s there between us. A living, breathing thing that picks up steam every time we look at each other and keep our thoughts to ourselves.
Except, I want to talk.
I want to tell him everything.
I want to come clean.
But the fear is crippling. It keeps me from going through with my plan to tell him the truth. And leaves me thrashing around for alternatives—any alternative.
Even if the one I land is more dangerous… at least it scares me considerably less.
“Charlotte!” Evie chirrups, running in through the open sliding doors. “Come outside! The pool’s so nice.”
I force a smile onto my face.
“Not today, kiddo,” I tell her. “I’ve got some cooking to do.”
Not strictly true.
But I’m not about to start telling a six-year-old that I had sex with her mob boss father, who also kidnapped me, who is also the enemy of my enemies, but is also the cause of guilt and sexual frustration on levels never before seen by womankind, but is also…
Yeah. Yikes. It gives me a headache just thinking about it.
“Really?” Evie asks. “What are you gonna cook today?”
“Something really special,” I say. “Something just for you. But I don’t have all the ingredients I need. So I need to go to the store.”
I can see Lucio walking towards the sliding doors. He’s wearing nothing but his bathing suit and he’s got a towel slung over one shoulder.
His incredible body is on full display. It’s hard to know what to focus on. The abs. The tattoos. The biceps. The aura of sheer masculinity that leaves me feeling weak in the knees.
“Charlotte?”
“Sorry, honey,” I say, tearing my eyes from Lucio before he catches me staring. “What were you saying?”
“I said, doesn’t Enzo do the grocery shopping?”
“Right, um, yes, usually, that is the case. It’s just that, I think Enzo’s off today,” I stumble. “Whoops.”
Except that it’s not a “whoops” at all.
It had taken a little digging to figure out when Enzo wouldn’t be here.
But I’d managed in the end. Planned so that I could make this run to the outside world with no one in Lucio’s employ catching wind of it.
Thus far, it’s working. Maybe the Mazzeo men are actually starting to trust me.
None of them look at me like I’m an outsider anymore. They don’t even look at me like I’m a captive. They look at me like I belong.
That’s scary in a totally different kind of way.
Lucio steps through the sliding doors, and I notice the dewy drops of water glistening on his windswept hair.
“Papa!” Evie says excitedly the moment she notices him. “Charlotte’s going to cook us something special today. But she doesn’t have the ingredients. And Enzo’s not here.”
Lucio looks at me for a moment, the shortest flicker of glances, and then he’s focused on Evie again.
“Well, I’m sure we can find someone to get to the grocery store for Charlotte,” he murmurs.
I feel the nerves build. I’m playing with fire here.
But I know that if I want this plan to work, I need to bite the bullet and ask.
“Uh, actually, I was hoping I’d be able to go to the supermarket myself,” I say before I lose my nerve.
I keep my expression as neutral and as innocent as possible. I need him to okay this trip. Without his permission, I have no hope of leaving the compound on my own.
But the moment I finish speaking, it starts to dawn on me what a long shot this is.
I haven’t been off the compound in several months. Not without supervision, anyway.
What makes me think he’s just going to allow me to walk out of here, no questions asked? Especially when things between us have been so strained since the night at the restaurant?
“You want to go by yourself?” Lucio asks.
He doesn’t exactly look surprised or suspicious. So I work through my nerves and try and remain confident. Unfazed.
“I just, I love grocery shopping. Loved it, I mean. Before. Before I, like, came here.” I glance at Evie, but she doesn’t seem to be picking up on my awkwardness around the whole “how I got this quote-unquote ‘job’ situation.
I swallow past a knot in my throat and clasp my hands behind my back to stop them from trembling.
“And,” I continue, “I haven’t been out of here on my own in forever. I’m very, uh—well, I like to pick my own ingredients and I haven’t been able to do that in—”
“Okay.”
I stop short and stare at Lucio.
“I… what?”
“Okay,” he says with a shrug. “You can go. How long do you think you’ll take?”
I hesitate for only a moment. “A couple of hours, maybe?” It’s a tough battle to keep the warble out of my voice.
I got what I wanted.
So why do I feel more terrified than ever?
Lucio considers that for a second. “Alright then. Evie and I will be in the pool in the meantime.”
“What are you making for us, Charlotte?” Evie asks.
I glance at her, feeling a little shell-shocked. “Um, it’s a surprise. But it’s gonna be good.”
She squints at me suspiciously before breaking into her trademark megawatt grin. “Okay. Yay! Charlotte’s the best cook!”
Then she darts back out the sliding doors and heads straight for the pool.
“You might have to let your men know,” I point out. “Otherwise, they won’t let me—”
“I’ll clear it with them,” Lucio says abruptly.
He turns, ready to follow Evie outside, but I can’t stop myself from asking.
“You’re really going to let me leave the compound on my own?”
He glances over his shoulder at me. “It would seem so.”
I shouldn’t ask. I really shouldn’t. Don’t stare a gift horse in the mouth and all that.
But I can’t fucking stop myself. Self-destructive behavior at its finest. I got it from my Mama.
“Why?”
His eyes are reserved when they meet mine.
“Because you’re not my captive anymore, Charlotte,” he rumbles, his voice softening just a little. “And you’re not my employee, either. You wanted to be no one, right? Fine. Wish granted. You’re no one. So why would I care what you do?”
Then he walks back out to the pool, leaving me standing there, stunned.
I don’t know how to feel about this.
Nothing makes sense anymore.
I go upstairs and change into clean jeans and a white blouse. I stare at myself in the mirror for a moment.
The bruise on my cheek has almost completely healed. It just looks a little puffy when the light catches my face.
Then I grab my satchel bag and head downstairs on foot.
As I approach the gate, the men on duty glance towards me, but none of them stop me. They just nod politely and press their little buttons in the guard shack or whatever.
And just like that, the gate that’s kept me here for so-fucking-long swings open.
Sunshine pours in.
The city beckons.
I stride forward confidently, but right before I step out, I pause.
It feels surreal to be out in the real world on my own. But as the sounds of the city reach my ears, a smile warms my face.
I’m doing it. I’m out. Away from all the confusion and headache and heartache behind me.
Just one more step and I’ll be—
“Ma’am?” A sharp voice yanks me back to reality.
Oh. Fuck. Maybe I started to celebrate too soon.
I turn to the dour-faced guard with the mole on his chin and give him a pleasant smile.
“Yes?”
“We can have a vehicle take you anywhere you need to go, you know. You don’t need to walk.”
“Oh,” I say. “That’s nice of you. But I actually want to walk.”
&
nbsp; “Are you sure?”
“Positive,” I reply with a firm nod. “Thank you. I should be back in a few hours.”
Before he can ask anything else, I’m gone.
I head down the road. I’ve got my cell on me, so I can just call Lucio or Enzo if I need a car to pick me up later.
Until I clear the compound, I stay alert, searching for any signs that I may be being followed.
One block turns into ten. Ten into twenty.
And the coast remains clear.
Which means Lucio is really giving me free rein.
Is that a sign of indifference?
Or a symbol of trust?
The moment I’m far enough away, I hail a rideshare. I’m standing by the curb when my driver pulls up three minutes later.
Then I give him the address, my heart beating fast.
“Hurry, please,” I plead. “I don’t have long.”
Seventeen minutes later, I pay the cabbie and get out of the car and onto the chipped pavement of a street I’m all too familiar with.
The apartment building looks better than my memory of it.
I head to unit two-fifteen, praying that he’s at home. Praying that I haven’t made a horrible mistake by coming in the first place.
When I’m outside his apartment door, I take a deep breath and pound my fist against the cheap wood.
Silence.
Fuck.
I try again. This time: harder, louder.
And this time, I hear something.
“Please, God…” I whisper to myself.
Three seconds later, the door swings open and I find myself face-to-face with Xander.
I’ve clearly woken him up, despite the fact that it’s ten-thirty in the morning. His hair is a mess, his eyes are swollen with sleep, and he looks crabby as hell.
Until he realizes who’s standing at this door.
“Fuck… Char?”
“Hi, asshole,” I say, pushing past him hard.
He closes the door and turns to me. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
“What the fuck is wrong with you?!” I demand furiously.
He rubs the sleep from his eyes. “What do you mean?” he asks, trying to play catch up.
I’m genuinely disgusted with myself. Disgusted that I would ever actually consider a man like Xander worth of my time and attention.