Royal Bastard

by Avery Wilde

  “You can and you will,” he ground out, his jaw set as he pushed away from the doorway and stepped fully inside the dressing room, much to my shock. I watched as the curtain closed us in, confining us to the one section. “How many times do we have to have this conversation?”

  “Until you listen to me,” I shot back, feeling very vulnerable due to his closeness. He stopped his advance, not that there was anywhere else to go, and laughed. “God, you are going to make this month interesting.” Giving me a wink, he took a step back and walked out. “Get dressed, we’ve got things to do.”

  It turned out to be an entire day of photo ops. I took pictures of Edward taking in the fine art galleries around London, including the Tower. It was the most ridiculous thing I had ever done, but hey, he was paying me ten grand to follow him around and take those pictures, so I couldn’t object. I doubted, though, that this was what cleaning up his image meant.

  He finally saw that I was done—had shopped and shot photos till I almost dropped—and he had the driver drop me off at my sister’s house with my bounty of dresses. I couldn’t go home. Mum would have too many questions once she saw all the boxes and bags, and I didn’t have time to explain to her every little detail… I had to get dressed, for starters!

  “What the hell is going on?” Harriet asked as I laid the dress bag over the stair banister and went into the living room. “Who was that who dropped you off? Was it the prince? Oh my god, Rose. Did I miss a chapter of your life when you suddenly starting hanging about with royalty? You best start explaining.”

  “Oh, Harriet,” I sighed, flopping down on the sofa. “I’m in some mess, I swear.” I quickly recounted his offer and the whirlwind adventure I’d been on today, and she let out a huge breath.

  “Wow. Wow!” she repeated, sitting on a nearby chair.

  “Yeah,” I replied my own eyes wide, unable to believe any of this was happening.

  “Well, it has to be better than taking pictures at my club.”

  I looked over at her, shaking my head. “I do enjoy taking those pictures. You know that.”

  “Oh, I know you do,” she replied, giving me a small smile, “but this must be way more exciting, admit it.”

  “Yes, fine,” I said, crossing my arms. “It’s interesting, okay? And now he expects me to be his date tonight.”

  Harriet sat up then. I didn’t think her eyes could get any wider, but they did.

  “His date? Seriously? With the prince? The one they call the Playboy Prince?”

  “That’s the one.” I nodded and thought about the day I had just spent with the man. Now I was going to have to be his polished date, the woman who was actually going to meet the royal family tonight in person. The thought alone was terrifying, and I wasn’t prepared in the slightest.

  “Oh my god,” she said, clapping her hands together. “You are going to meet his family, the royal family, Rose!”

  “I know,” I said glumly, my stomach in knots. “What if I do something embarrassing? What was I thinking?”

  Harriet’s expression lightened as a sympathetic change cantered across her face, but soon it was replaced with determination and the confidence I sorely lacked. “Rose. Stop thinking the worst. You will be fine!”

  “What if I dump wine on my dress? What if I trip when I try to curtsey? This is going to be a disaster!” I continued, the nausea starting to well up in my throat.

  Harriet rolled her eyes at me and stood, picking up the dress bag and taking charge, wrenching me off the sofa and out of my despair. “Come on, snap out of it. I can be your fairy godmother tonight, and you will go to the ball—erm, dinner, I mean. Get up. Chop chop. Let’s get you dressed fit for a prince.”

  I nervously awaited my ride in the living room, my hands running over the soft material of my dress as if to keep me grounded. I really was about to do this. I was going to accompany a prince to a palace. It was like every little girl’s dream. That dream however, was flawed for me. I wasn’t the love of his life, and he certainly wasn’t my prince charming. He wasn’t going to come on his grand white horse and sweep me off my feet, carrying me into the happily ever after. Instead he was going to drive a car that was far too expensive, make me wear a dress that was way out of my league, and have me pretend that I was his date instead of a hired companion to ensure that he didn’t screw up tonight. Yeah, happily ever after wasn’t in these plans.

  “He’s here,” Harriet said excitedly as she bounded into the living room, nearly throwing the clutch purse and shawl that I’d borrowed from her at me. Harriet was a sucker for fashion and accessories, always had been since she was a teenager, and so I’d come to the right place to get the finishing touches just right. “Now don’t forget what we read on the internet. Slight curtsey, and for god’s sake, don’t touch them!”

  “I think I am going to be sick,” I responded, the crackers I had choked down an hour before swimming around in my stomach. Edward didn’t have to worry about making a scene; I was going to end up doing that for him when I threw up on the royal family instead.

  The doorbell rang and Harriet ran off to get it, leaving me to give myself one last critical look in the mirror. I looked like a little girl playing dress-up. The expensive dress and the way that Harriet had swept my curls into an elegant bun did nothing to mask the wide-eyed and petrified stare that looked back at me.

  “Are you ready? Wow…” he said.

  I swallowed and turned around, doing everything I could to not let my mouth gape open at the sight of Edward dressed in his evening attire. I had seen pictures of course of handsome men in stunning suits—especially those the tabloids like to splash of actors on the red carpet—but it was a different matter seeing it in real life, standing before you. The suit fitted him like a glove, and his hair was pleasingly raked back, giving him an even more sophisticated look than I thought was possible. He looked every bit the handsome prince, so why did he ordinarily fight the image of being one?

  I continued to stare at him, and his strong jaw clenched tightly as he looked at me. Me. I was going to be subject of his attention tonight. “Rose? Are you—”

  “Yes,” I finally forced out, giving him a tiny smile. “I’m ready. Let’s get this over with.”

  I threw Harriet a last pleading look as I followed behind him and received a thumbs-up in return. Great. Even my only sister wasn’t going to help me out. The least she could do was fake a heart attack or fainting spell that would force me to stay behind.

  Edward held open the passenger door and I half-slid, half-climbed inside his car, fidgeting with my bag as he climbed in. The interior seemed smaller when he closed the doors. He started the car and pulled it out onto the road. “No driver tonight?” I asked softly, figuring I would go with a safe topic for now.

  “Nah,” he said as he expertly shifted through the gears. “I’m to be on my best behaviour tonight, remember? I have no need to be carted around.”

  “What should I expect?” I asked, the nerves kicking in again. “I mean, is there anything I should know?” I already knew a lot about his family, but they still seemed beyond mere mortals. No commoner could even dream up what I was about to experience.

  “My brother is sort of a dork,” he said, a hint of a grin on his lips. “But he will be fine. My father is going to be surprised to see me, and my stepmother? Well, you will see about her.”

  “You didn’t tell them we were coming?” I asked. He shook his head, furthering my nausea. “I wanted to catch them off guard. That way we are on an even playing ground.”

  “Oh god, this is going to be a disaster,” I moaned, leaning back on the headrest. “Why did I even let you talk me into this?”

  He looked over then, a glint in his eye. “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure? Don’t worry, Father always saves me a seat in case I do happen to show up, and they’ll be no problem squeezing you in. It’s supposed to be my duty, remember?”

  “I hope so,” I said in a tiny voice, turning my attention to the p
assing scenery, praying that we’d somehow drive through a portal to another dimension instead.

  11

  Edward

  She was nervous. I could feel her hand tremble as I took it in mine, leading her into the smallest ballroom, where the dinner would be held. Truthfully, I felt kind of like an ass for putting her through this. While I had grown used to coming to the palace and ‘crashing’ the party, per se, she was by comparison a woman who was about to have the experience of a lifetime, one that most people did not even dream of. That alone made me want to make this a good night for her. Perhaps it had been good to bring her along then.

  Looking across the room, I noticed my father and Andrew standing to the side, as well as the steady stream of guests waiting for a chance to meet my grandfather, the king. I veered away from the line and headed straight for them, seeing the looks of surprise on their faces as we approached.

  “Oh my god,” Rose breathed beside me, her hand clenching in mine. I felt the hesitation when I’d reached for it by the car, but she hadn’t said anything about it, and dammit I didn’t want to give it up. How did I ever think she wasn’t a knockout? That dress was every man’s wet dream, even though the hem of it skated along the floor. I wanted to peel it off her slowly, starting with the ties that were wrapped around her waist. The tendrils of the bow draped over that magnificent ass of hers. It was enough to make me go insane if this night did not.

  “Edward.”

  I pulled up short in front of my father, bowing my head slightly. “Father.”

  “And who is this?” he asked, arching a brow at Rose, who was standing in awe of the future king of England.

  “May I introduce Ms. Rose Mathis,” I replied, squeezing her hand lightly. “Rose, this is my father and my brother.”

  “H-how do you do, Your Royal Highnesses,” she stammered, inclining her head. Thank god she didn’t curtsey. “Thank you for having us tonight.”

  “Our pleasure,” my father responded, his expression immediately dismissing Rose and focusing on me instead. He didn’t look too pleased with me, and the scepticism gleaming in his eye was telling. “I daresay our talk has brought you around. Are you on your best behaviour tonight then?”

  I knew he was going to do this. It wasn’t enough that I was simply here, but he had to rub it in. It reminded me of when I was younger, with very little knowledge of what I had been born into and the way he would berate me sometimes about the little things I did, like when I wanted to go outside and play with the rest of the normal kids. “You are royalty! You do not play!” he would shout, barring any access to my former life.

  I clenched my jaw tightly and gave him a look, bowing mockingly at him. “Of course, Father.”

  “It’s about time. You’ve disgraced this family with your antics for long enough. It’s about time you grew up to be a man, Edward. You need to earn my respect back, too. Just remember that.”

  If I bit my tongue any harder I would draw blood, I thought. Rose tightened her grip upon my hand, gently tugging me away, and I would’ve let it be if it hadn’t been for what he said next. “And while I’m on the subject of respect, maybe next time you will think twice before bringing a date. Your stepmother is going to be displeased when she finds out.” From the way he said the word date, with a disgusted twist of his lips, I knew exactly what he was trying to imply. That Rose was some sort of high-class call-girl, paid to suck my cock, to cause a scene and embarrass the family. Well, in one respect he got what he wanted…

  “And to think you believe that I’m the uncultured one, the one who has no manners? When you imply vile things like that… I’ve changed my mind. I no longer want to be in your damn presence.”

  Rose gasped next to me, but I was far beyond feeling sorry. “Edward,” Andrew said softly, drawing my attention from our father. “Not here.”

  “Oh not here, indeed,” I said angrily, pulling Rose close. “Come on, we are leaving.”

  Without another word, I all but dragged her out of the ballroom, my stride angry and fuming. This was a joke; I’d never belonged with them and never would. I couldn’t appease my father or anyone else for that matter. Suddenly I felt like I was about to suffocate if I stayed any longer in this place. My only relief was getting out as fast as humanly possible before I exploded and truly made a scene.

  “Edward! Slow down, dammit! I’m wearing heels, remember?”

  I ignored Rose’s pleas until we were back out into the night air, the soft breeze rippling through her escaping curls as she rounded on me, her expression thunderous. “What are you doing?” she demanded, her hands on her hips. “You can’t leave! We have a plan, remember? And we should stick to it.”

  “I can’t,” I ground out, attempting to step around her. I had to get out. She didn’t understand what was going on and had probably missed the subtlety of what my father said, but there was no way I was going to let her or me be subjected to it for a whole evening. And it was clear to me that I was never going to be Andrew. Hell, I was never going to be accepted into this family, no matter what I did. “Get out of my way, Rose, before I pick you up and move you.”

  “No,” she said, pushing at my chest with her hands. “I didn’t get all dressed up for you to storm out of the palace in five seconds. You are going back in there, and you will put a smile on your handsome face!”

  I reached down and grabbed her wrists lightly, feeling her pulse flutter under my touch. “Rose,” I said, my voice a bit softer this time, “I’m not welcome there.”

  She sighed loudly and looked at me, her eyes showing things I hadn’t seen from anyone else. “You were there a total of five seconds, Edward. How do you know that?”

  “I just know,” I said, dropping her wrists. “Please, can we leave? I really can’t…” I sighed and bowed my head.

  She opened her mouth to reply but surprised me by nodding tightly. I breathed a sigh of relief and signalled for my car, not saying another word until we were driving away from the massive gates. It was then that I yanked at the bowtie around my neck, throwing it before releasing the buttons of my dress shirt.

  “I’m sorry,” I finally said, breaking the silence. “It was an idiotic idea to think this was going to work in the first place.”

  She was silent, and I tried to imagine what she was thinking. Was she thinking I was a complete and utter failure? Because I sure as hell felt like one. One measly shot, and I had blown it wide open. A month was too short. I needed the rest of my damn life to try and show my father I could be something different. But I was who I was… there was no changing that.

  “We need to take a different approach.”

  I pulled the car up to a red light and looked at her. She was still in this? I thought she would be pissed off about what I had done—dragging her away from a perfect princess moment that I imagined was every little girl’s dream. But the person who sat next to me was no little girl with her head in the clouds. She was a fierce woman who didn’t give up. “What?”

  She looked over at me, a glint in her eye. “You know? We need to do something without your father being involved. It’s clear that your relationship with him isn’t the best. It’s too volatile. The second you saw him your defences went up. So why not take the royal family out of the equation?”

  “You mean kill them?” I asked playfully.

  “What? No!” she nearly shouted, her eyes wide with terror. “That’s ridiculous. I mean we need to find your own niche. Surely there’s something more to you than just partying and sex? Surely you have a passion that we can tap into and exploit?”

  I thought about it, thinking that maybe she was onto something. I was trying to fit into my father’s world, yet the only thing he had asked me to do was clean up my image. It didn’t mean I had to be doing it with him. “Children,” I finally croaked out. “I have a passion for orphans.”

  Rose went deadly silent as I eased the car towards her sister’s place. My stomach grumbled over the noise of the idling engine when we were stop
ped at another red light. This wasn’t what she had bargained for tonight, I knew that. She was supposed to be seated with the king, dining on exquisite food and no doubt holding her own in conversation, but I’d taken that away from her in my selfish hurry to leave. But I didn’t know how to make it up to her, either. Especially since the whole sex thing was off the table. “Fancy some fish and chips?” I asked and pointed to the chippy up the road from the lights, the blue neon lights spelling out “The Codfather”.

  She coughed out a laugh and nodded at me, smiling. “Yeah, I’m starved.”

  I found us a parking spot. Everyone stared at us as we entered the chippy. I looked like an American high school prom reject, but it wasn’t really me they were staring at. Every man’s mouth dropped, customers and the staff, when they saw Rose in that dress. They couldn’t keep their eyes off her, and I couldn’t blame them. I had to repeat my order three times before the man behind the counter understood.

  “Go grab a seat,” I said. I nodded towards the corner table near the front window and collected our two portions of fish and chips wrapped in paper. She seemed grateful to no longer be front and centre in the middle of the chip shop, but as she turned, swaying those hips and making her way to the far table, I knew I wasn’t the only one admiring the view. I sprinkled lashings of malt vinegar and salt on the chips and squirted some good old ketchup on for good measure and brought our meal to the table.

  “Hope you like red sauce.”

  “Love the stuff,” she replied with a grin and speared a chunky chip with her plastic fork. “You know, if you were wanting to keep a low profile, this probably wasn’t the best idea.”

  “Royals like fish and chips, too,” I countered. “Here, napkin, my lady?”