Lucky Me

by Saba Kapur

  Jack stifled a laugh as I blew out a frustrated sigh.

  “Quit laughing at me!” I whined. “My arms are going to fall off!”

  “You look like a giant grape” Jack said, tilting his head to one side as he eyed me up and down.

  My mouth dropped. “How dare you? This dress is amazing! Or at least it will be once it fits.”

  “The push-up bra will help, no doubt.”

  “If I ever get out of this, I’m going to kill you.”

  The two helpers exchanged words in a language I didn’t understand and stopped pinning my dress.

  “One. One minute,” one of them said, with a heavy accent.

  She held up her index finger, pointing it at the sky, as if indicating the number one. I nodded to let her know I understood, and she smiled. They left the room together, leaving me in my hanging grape costume.

  “This is just fantastic,” I grumbled.

  I could barely move my body and now I was stuck in a room with Jack, who would undoubtedly continue to make fun of me. And Famous didn’t count, because all he ever did was lie there. Plus he couldn’t stick up for me, and he probably wouldn’t have even if he could. Even he liked Jack more than me.

  I shuffled around so that I was facing Jack. A few seconds later, my brother walked slowly past my room, stopped in the center of the doorframe, eyed me up and down and shook his head. He then proceeded to disappear out of sight, doing what looked like The Robot. Chris was right behind, glancing in my direction and then quickly averting his gaze to the floor as if I were Medusa, ready to turn him to stone. I watched as they walked away, shaking my head.

  “We need to get him checked out.”

  Jack looked up. “Who?”

  “Chris. He doesn’t speak at all! It’s not normal.”

  “Oh, I thought you meant your brother,” Jack replied, turning his attention back to his phone.

  “Yeah, him too actually.”

  The pokey twins re-entered the room, and a few seconds later, Mom followed.

  “Here’s your dress,” she said, holding up a pink and silver dress on a hanger.

  “Mom!” I cried, eyeing the dress up and down. “I can’t wear that!”

  She looked at the dress in confusion. “Why not? It’s Balmain!”

  Yeah, which was exactly the problem. I waddled closer to the hanger she was holding, feeling the material that was perfectly bandaged into a one-sleeved mini dress. There was no way in hell I’d be able to pull a dress like that off. The sad thing was, my mother probably could.

  “It’s very . . .” I trailed off, and Mom rolled her eyes. Clearly she knew where I was headed.

  “Gia, you’ve got the body.” She eyed me up and down. “Well more or less. A few more carrots wouldn’t hurt. I don’t understand why you don’t flaunt it! Tell her Jack.”

  I turned to Jack with raised eyebrows. He smiled in reply, nodding his head in approval.

  “Hot.” Was all he said, and my mother nodded enthusiastically.

  I widened my eyes in embarrassment. There was no way I was ever allowing my mother and Jack to interact again.

  “You have male approval.” Mom declared, as if it emphasized her point. “Now we can all move on with our lives.”

  “You take dress off,” one of the pokey twins said.

  “Um, how exactly?” I asked, turning to mom.

  “They’ll help you out,” Mom replied, hanging the Balmain dress on my closet doorknob. “Just hold very still.”

  Easy for her to say; she could just stand there and watch.

  “Anything else, mother dearest?” I asked her sweetly.

  “You have an appointment for hair and nails at six. Go straight from rehearsals, and don’t be late,” she said, pulling out her phone from her pocket.

  “Dad will never let me out of the house,” I told her.

  “I told Anya to make Italian tonight.”

  “Using his favorite food as a distraction. I like it.”

  “I’ve had a lot of experience manipulating your father.”

  Yeah, I didn’t doubt it.

  “Okay, time to change,” I announced, waddling toward my helpers. “I need to get a stack of homework done before rehearsals today.”

  “I’ll go supervise the boys in the kitchen,” Mom said, walking toward the bedroom door. “Your father’s making crème brûlée and I’m scared he’s going to blowtorch Mike’s eyebrows off.”

  I watched her walk out the room, lifting my arms so that the pokey twin could start relieving me from the dress.

  “Jack,” I said, suddenly remembering he was still in the room.

  “Yes?”

  “Get out. I’m changing.”

  Jack lay back against the couch pillows, resting his head on his fingers that were intertwined. He yawned, and one of the seamstresses unzipped my dress from behind.

  “You take off dress,” she said. “Slow. Slow.”

  “Jack!”

  “I’ll shut my eyes, I promise,” he said innocently.

  I knew there was no point in arguing with him. If I had learned anything from my time with Jack, it was that he was almost as good as me when it came to getting his way.

  “Fine!” I snapped. “Close them. And if you even accidently blink, I’ll set the pokey sisters on you.”

  He squeezed his eyes shut, making a big show of it as if it was such a complicated task. I rolled my eyes and let the gown sink to the floor; making sure Jack’s eyes were closed. I grabbed my leggings and sweatshirt off the edge of my bed and put them on as fast as I could.

  “Okay, three, two, one, I’m opening my eyes,” Jack said, his eyelids fluttering open.

  Thankfully I had managed to get the sweatshirt over my head and just past my bra in time. The last thing I needed was for Jack to see me half naked, especially after the macaroni and cheese I had demolished yesterday. The seamstresses carefully placed the gown on a hanger, holding it as if it were glass. I watched them carry the dress out of my bedroom, yelling out a thank you behind them.

  “They seemed nice,” Jack said. “Bit talkative though.”

  My phone buzzed on the couch beside Jack, who reached over to pick it up.

  “Who is it?” I asked, removing stray strands of hair from my sleeve. “It’s not one of the girls again, is it?”

  The last few days had been a complete nightmare to deal with. My friends had been amazingly sweet and supportive about the whole flyers incident, and it killed me that I had to keep lying to them. They had called about a billion times after hearing about the reporters in the school parking lot, wanting to know if I was actually getting stalked. I had come inches away from telling them the truth, but decided not to at the last minute. The last thing I wanted was for Dr. D to target them as well. So instead I pretended that the rumors were completely baseless, and that Meghan had probably orchestrated it to drill home her Photoshop prank, and scare me right before the Golden Globes. I think they only half believed me. When they had come to drop off some homework and notes on what I’d missed, I’d hid in my closet like a coward and begged Jack to get rid of them for me. I know, I know. Not one of my proudest moments.

  “Nope. Lover boy,” Jack replied, as my phone continued to ring.

  I paused for a second, trying to place the nickname in my memory. “Who?”

  “Our favorite, Mr. Fells.”

  My eyes widened and I could feel the panic start to creep over me. Oh no. What if he was calling to say he had more information on Jack? I hadn’t heard from him since our conversation the other day, and I spent the rest of the time trying not to think about Jack and his mystery trust fund.

  “Give it to me!” I cried, launching toward the iPhone.

  Jack moved out of my reach, answering the call. He was apparently trying to get me to die of shame.

&n
bsp; “Well hey there, Cadet Fells,” he said brightly, winking at me.

  “Jack!” I hissed. “Give me the damn phone!”

  Jack covered the speaker with his hand and whispered, “Say please.”

  “I’m going to hit you.”

  “Is Gia here?” Jack said into the phone. “No, sorry. You just missed her actually. You can tr—”

  “Jack!”

  “OW!”

  I pounced on Jack, wrestling my phone out of his hands. His laughter had now become uncontrollable.

  “Hello!” I practically yelled into the phone, a little breathlessly. I was still kind of sitting on Jack, who had buried his face in my pillow to muffle his laughter.

  “Uh, hi,” came the reply, and I could tell Milo was probably battling some Jack-hatred within. I could tell because I was doing the same.

  “How’s it going?” I asked, sliding off Jack and pushing the hair away from my face.

  “Good,” Milo replied, still sounding tense.

  “Is everything okay? Any . . .” I glanced at Jack, who was still composing himself. “Updates on anything?”

  I mouthed a shut up to Jack, who was still laughing a little as he fiddled with Famous’ ears.

  “We’re tying up some leads actually. Ao Jie Kai’s managed to slip away from us a few times, but I think we’re getting close to getting some answers.”

  “That’s good.”

  There was silence for a few seconds while I waited for him to continue, sitting on the edge of my bed in anticipation. Jack looked at me, but didn’t say anything. His laughter had even died out. Evidently he was waiting to hear the rest of the conversation too.

  “I guess,” Milo said, “I just wanted to call to make sure we were cool. We left things kind of weird the other day.”

  “Um, yeah. We’re cool,” I replied, biting my thumbnail. Thank God I had a manicure at six.

  “I’m sorry for coming down hard on you with the Jack stuff. I just want you to be safe.”

  I looked at Jack. He was still playing with Famous’ ears but I could tell he was listening.

  “It’s okay. I get it.”

  This was so awkward! Why was this so hard? It was like I was six-years-old, talking to my crush in the sandpit. Apparently Milo felt the same.

  “I’m just going to say it,” he said. “This whole thing kind of sucks, right?”

  I smiled, even though it was kind of depressing how right he was. “We’re definitely a bit messed up.”

  “Plus, we had to share our first date with a pack of frisky firemen and a guy dressed like a taco. Not particularly ideal, if you ask me.”

  “Should have kept it simple with a dinner and a movie,” I laughed.

  “I’ll have to remember that for next time.”

  My heart rate picked up speed. “Next time?” I repeated.

  I dropped the smile when I suddenly remembered Jack was still in the room. He wasn’t sitting close enough to hear what we were saying, but his gaze made me want to pee my pants. He was better at the disapproving dad face than my own father. Milo sighed. The fun and games had apparently stopped. There was obviously not going to be a “next time.” Story of my damn life.

  “I better go,” he said. “We’ll keep you updated on any new developments.”

  “Right.” I said.

  “Stay safe.”

  Could Jack, like, chill with his intense staring? His blue eyes were swallowing me whole!

  “Thanks, old bean. See you!”

  I hung up the phone, throwing it on the bed as if it had set fire in my hand.

  “Did you just call Milo an old bean?” Jack asked, gathering Famous in his lap.

  I buried my head in my hands. I was hoping by some miracle of the heavens above, Jack hadn’t heard that last part.

  “Oh God. Oh God. Oh God!” I groaned, shaking my head in my hands. “This is your fault! You were making me antsy with your staring!”

  “Hey, don’t blame me for your poor conversation skills.”

  “I’m trying my best here!”

  “Princess,” Jack said, raising an eyebrow. “That’s your best? Now you’ve got me worried about your worst.”

  “Don’t you have anything else to do other than eavesdrop on my conversations?”

  “I wasn’t eavesdropping,” he said, not even trying to mask his pleased smile. “I was just sitting here, minding my own business like the gentleman that I am.”

  Right. And I was the next Bond girl. I threw another pillow at Jack, who caught it in the air before it could land on him.

  “Go away,” I snapped. “I have a ton of homework and you’re distracting me.”

  “There’s something I don’t like about Milo,” Jack said. He wasn’t smiling anymore.

  I sighed. “I know. You’ve told me about a billion times.”

  “He takes advantage of you,” Jack said, stroking the top of Famous’ head. “He’s practically a cop and you’re vulnerable right now. It’s just wrong.”

  “You’re my bodyguard,” I reminded him. “And I’m your client. You still flirt like there’s no tomorrow. Isn’t that wrong?”

  Jack thought about it for a second. “Not the same thing,” he said simply, placing Famous down next to him.

  I rolled my eyes. “Jack, my practice essay isn’t going to write itself.”

  “Okay, consider this,” he pressed on, clearly ignoring my attempt to change the conversation. “What would you do if he wasn’t in the picture?”

  I rose from the bed, stretching my arms to the sky, stifling a yawn. “What do you mean?” I asked.

  “I mean, what would happen if you didn’t know Milo?”

  I looked at him blankly. “Then I wouldn’t know Milo?”

  “No,” Jack replied impatiently. He stood up, walking over to me. “Like, what would happen between us?”

  My jaw almost hit the floor. Was he seriously asking me this? Did he not know that I was physically incapable of dealing with awkward situations?

  “Us?” I echoed. “What? N—nothing. I mean . . . nothing! Yeah.”

  My flustered reaction was obviously exactly what Jack had been looking for, because he smiled some more, taking a step closer. Alarm bells were going off in my head. Abort mission! I repeat, this is not a drill!

  “I guess I should be thanking Milo,” Jack said, faking a thoughtful expression. “I mean, if it wasn’t for him you’d probably be in love with me right now and I’d be on the receiving end of your terrible flirting skills.”

  They were not terrible! Sure, they were questionable. But hardly terrible.

  “Get over yourself,” I said with a scowl. “Not every girl is just dying to declare their love for you.”

  Granted I may not be on that list when Jack is wearing his leather jacket, but the message was still widely applicable. I turned to face my desk, thinking the conversation had ended, when he caught onto my wrist and pulled me onto the edge of the bed again. We sat facing each other, his hand still gripping mine, not allowing me to move. My heartbeat began to pick up speed as I tried not to look directly at Jack. I had no idea what had suddenly possessed him, there were little stop signs popping up left, right and center in my brain.

  “What do you think you’re doing?”

  “So you’re telling me that nothing would happen here?” He ignored my question, giving me a knowing look. “I mean, look at me Gia. I’m a Greek God. There’s no way my flawless looks don’t make you crazy.”

  Yeah, actually, they did make me crazy. Beyond the British accent crazy. At this rate, I was impressed I was even functioning with any normalcy.

  “Nothing would happen,” I declared, convincing myself more so than him.

  “Why?”

  I gave him an incredulous look. His smile told me he was kidding—being the eg
otistical flirt he always was. But we’d never had a conversation like this before. And it felt like I was going down a black rabbit-hole.

  “Because!” I cried, not yet knowing how to finish that sentence. “Because you don’t see me that way.”

  “So you’re saying you see me that way?”

  “Of course not!”

  “So then why not?”

  “Because it just wouldn’t!”

  I had given up on making up excuses. It’s what he did best; flirting, enchanting, making you fall in love. I had seen it first hand and I knew no one was immune from it. People like Jack are incredible at playing games, but aren’t so great at the commitment thing. He couldn’t care less about me before Milo was in the picture, but now suddenly he was asking me what ifs? I wasn’t willing to risk falling for him only to get slapped in the face with disappointment. Better not follow that rabbit down the hole. I don’t care how fancy his waistcoat is.

  Jack’s smile widened, as if portraying victory. He released my hand and said, “Alright.”

  “Well what would you do if Milo wasn’t in the picture?” I asked him.

  I wasn’t entirely sure I wanted to hear the answer, but I didn’t want to give him the satisfaction of winning. Fake it ‘til you make it, Gia. In Hollywood, they practically drilled that into you the moment you left the womb. Jack cocked his head to one side, eyeing me thoughtfully. The smile remained on his face, but faltered slightly as he thought about something with evident concentration.

  “Well . . .” he began finally. “If Milo wasn’t in the picture, then you and I—”

  My phone began ringing from behind me, and I held my breath. Seriously? Seriously! You and I what? You and I would be together forever? You and I would start a rave club? You and I could go grab some kebabs for lunch? There were millions of ways to finish that sentence!

  “Aren’t you going to answer that?” Jack asked, pointing to my phone.

  Actually I was just about ready to scream in frustration.

  “Um, yeah,” I mumbled, reaching for my phone.

  If it was one of the girls, I wasn’t going to answer. If it was Dr. D, I was going to throw the damn thing out the window. It was Milo, ironically.

  “Hello?”