Squiggle

by Chandler Ardnas

  The doorbell rang, and I rushed to answer it. Julius was standing there in an old pair of jeans and a simple button-down shirt, which wasn’t tucked in. He looked at my dress with the dipping neckline and his brow furrowed. I knew I was a bit overdressed for a hotel rendezvous, but I wanted him to think of me as a package he could unwrap. Every gift should be wrapped pretty.

  “Are you ready?” he asked and pulled me into his arms.

  “I passed ready an hour ago,” I said honestly, wanting him to unwrap me immediately.

  We walked hand-in-hand to his car. He opened my door and leaned in for a kiss before heading over to his own side. He was so chivalrous, my knight in jeans. Guys like him didn’t exist in Cartwright, I was so lucky I chose to come to San Francisco to find a man.

  He took Interstate 280 to the Cabrillo Highway and then down to the city of Pacifica. I had never been to this area of the bay and wondered if extra special hotels existed here. Although, he was dressed for walking along the beach so maybe he had a romp on the sand in mind. The car pulled up to a large gate and Julius punched in a code before it slowly opened. The hotel was gorgeous, with immaculate lawns and dazzling flowers all over the place. He pulled under the archway and a man in a grey jacket took the keys.

  “This is beautiful?” I said, looking at the large copper doors.

  “Are you nervous?” he asked. I chuckled and shook my head. I knew what to expect and his wall pounding profanity didn’t have me worried. I wasn’t Jennifer ‘the fleets in’ Staple, but I could hold my own.

  We walked through the doors and I let Julius lead me as I looked around to catch everything. We stopped at a small library and I glanced down from my gawking to see a beautiful woman and an older man sitting on a sofa. Julius brought me closer and said, “Tobi, this is my mother, Charlotte, and her friend Gordon.” Okay, going to the same hotel as your mother was a bit weird, especially since her friend was not her husband.

  The woman stood in a classic suit skirt, she was tall and lean like her son. She gave me a tight hug and I noticed she smelled like Chanel. “Welcome to our home,” she offered.

  I had no idea his parents lived in a hotel. I would love to live in a Holiday Inn. I would swim every day, pig out on the continental breakfast, and let the cleaning staff punish my clothing. She turned to her son and added, “You stay strong and I’ll back you up.”

  Huh…okay, now I’m lost. Julius was a love machine; he didn’t need any back up, especially from his mother. I looked over at him for an explanation, but he took my hand again and all four of us continued with the tour. We entered a large dining room with a candelabra and massive chairs around at mahogany table.

  “Holy bat table,” I exclaimed aloud. The thing was massive, and I had no idea how the hotel managed to get it into the room.

  “I’m afraid it is all a bit pretentious,” Julius said angrily.

  If he didn’t like the place he shouldn’t have brought me here. “Do you want to go?” I asked, because quite frankly if the table was this big I was terrified to see the bed.

  “No, let’s get this over with,” he sighed.

  Wait one dang minute. ‘Get it over with,’ was he kidding? I planned on taking my time tonight and I was hoping to ‘get it over with’ at least twice. Just then Mr. Carmichael walked into the room with a young woman I assumed was Julius’ sister. She was blonde, with a huge rack and a tiny waist. My plunging neckline was suddenly looking ridiculous. Her dress looked as if it was painted on, and the artist ran out of paint quite early.

  Julius pulled out one of the massive chairs for me to sit. I leaned in to whisper, “What are we doing?” He didn’t respond and when everyone else began to sit, I dutifully sat in the chair he was offering.

  I looked around the table and then said, “Hello, Mr. Carmichael.”

  “Call me William, dear,” he replied, but didn’t appear happy about it.

  “Hello, William dear,” I said nervously.

  Julius laughed loudly, and I smacked his arm to make him stop, since I wasn’t in on the joke. His mother smiled at me and said, “Julius has told me so much about you. It is wonderful to finally meet you.”

  “Thanks,” I said shyly. “He’s my Ah.” I looked over at his gorgeous face and felt my body swoon a bit. I knew what love felt like now. I loved him totally… but why did he have to touch that human plague, Jennifer.

  “I’m sorry, he’s your what?” His mother asked.

  “My ah. You know how a sunrise, or a new baby makes you say, ‘ah’, because it is just so amazing. He’s my ah.”

  His sister put her hand over her heart and sighed with approval. William dear was not touched and only managed to scowl at me. I decided to place all my efforts on playing nice with sis. I wasn’t intimidated by her, because she couldn’t steal her brother away from me. I extended my hand to her and said, “I’m Tobi Wilson.”

  She looked at her father with confusion and said, “I thought you said her name was Erica?”

  The entire table stared at me, even Julius. “Oh, yeah, it is officially, but my parents called me Tobi since my birth,” I lied. “I was stung by a bee on my toe. Get it… Toe Bee.” One thing about lying is once you start it is very hard to stop.

  “As a newborn?” Charlotte asked with shock, most likely thinking my mother was negligent in some way.

  “My mother is the mayor of Cartwright,” I blurted out. It had nothing to do with the conversation, but I wanted to end the visual of my mother leaving me in a field of flowers the day I arrived home from the hospital. I decided to change the subject and put the attention onto Julius. I looked at his sister and said, “What was Julius like as a child? Was he a mean brother or protective?”

  The room was silent, and Julius began to fidget in his seat. William Dear finally spoke up and said, “Lilly is my girlfriend, not my daughter.”

  My head spun around to look at Charlotte to see if she was listening to his confession and noticed she was holding hands with Gordon. No wonder Jen fit in with this family, they were all whores. I looked at Julius for some sort of clarification. He rubbed his forehead and then said, “Um… my parents are separated, but they live in different sections of this house.”

  “This is a house?” I gasped and looked around again. “I thought it was a hotel.”

  The room broke into laughter, but I didn’t find anything funny. My poor guy had a really screwed up family and now I understood how Jen got her hooks into him. Of course, he would accept her lies; he needed to believe love existed somewhere, just not in the arms of Jen ‘octopus’ Staple.

  A woman pushed a cart into the room and salads were set in front of us. I realized only then I had been asked to dinner with his family. I wasted good lingerie money and nicked my armpits for nothing.

  “How did you and Julius meet?” Lilly asked, bringing some conversation back into the silent room. I was hoping to blend in with the garish wall paper, but everyone looked right at me.

  “I work at the Carmichael Corporation,” I said proudly. “He was in the cubicle across from me. I usually hate cubicles because they retard creativity. But now he works with the programmers and I have a retard working across from me, so I hate cubicles for that reason now.” I knew the term ‘retard’ was not politically correct, but the word meant someone who was diminished or stupid, so it fit for Kurt.

  “Did you go to college?” she asked.

  I laughed with my mouth full and shook my head. “No, I don wissen goo,” I said through the salad.

  “Tobi is a very smart woman,” Julius added. “She thinks in a creative way.”

  He got that right! I was thinking of some very creative things to do with him if we ever got out of this cathedral, starting with the salad dressing. William dear wiped his mouth and then dropped his napkin into his half-eaten salad. He cleared his throat and said, “Julius’ wealth is very much protected.”

  The way he said it, talking about wealth and protection made me start thinking creatively about a pi
rate costume and candy gold. Julius would look so sexy pounding the wall with his hook and calling me his wench. His eyes were too pretty to wear a patch, but he could really rock the scarf around his head. I looked at him with excitement and said, “We should pick out matching Halloween costumes. You could be Captain Jack Sparrow… wait, I don’t want a Jack. I already made that mistake.”

  Julius smiled widely at me and said, “You’re amazing.”

  I would show him ‘amazing’ if we ever got the heck out of here. It wasn’t like I had anything against his family… or their lovers; I just wanted time alone with my wife-free boyfriend. Another cart wheeled into the room and this time plates of pasta were set in front of us, at least it wasn’t square.

  I was busy eating when I noticed nobody was talking. I glanced around the room and everyone was taking small bites and then sitting still before taking another one. I had been shoveling quickly so I set my fork down and pushed the plate away. “I’m done, can we go?” I asked Julius.

  “We were hoping to get to know you better,” Charlotte said with disappointment. I seriously doubted William dear would be disappointed if I left. If they wanted to know me better, I could tell them everything they needed to know very quickly. I decided to give an overview of my life, nothing specific, but something to make them feel the dinner had been productive.

  I took a sip of my water and then said, “I’m from Cartwright, an only child…if you don’t count my online sisters, and I was born on November 1st. My father is the high school principle and my mother is the mayor. I moved to San Francisco with my friend Claire after we met Amos and Ryan. Claire is still with Amos, probably because he knocked her up. But, I dumped Ryan after one night… it wasn’t the awe-inspiring experience I was hoping. I work for the Carmichael Corporation and helped them beat Microsoft this quarter. I love the color orange. I hate anything square shaped. And, Julius got lucky with just a squiggle pen, but it was okay because he wrote I would have his babies on my arm.”

  Everyone stared without making any comments, so I looked at Julius and asked again if we could go. He quickly stood and offered me his hand. I glanced around the table and said, “It was nice meeting you.”

  “Son,” William dear said quickly. “We need to talk about what you’re doing.”

  I was lost again, because Julius doesn’t need any instructions from his father, unless it was about his climaxing language, but I don’t think he does that on purpose. Julius stood tall and spoke as we walked from the room. “I’m going to Cartwright with Tobi. I’ll see you Monday.”

  I giggled with excitement and jumped onto his back, so he could carry me to his car. I didn’t care that my panties were showing, they were a new purchase and worth a peek or two from strangers. We drove to a secluded area on the beach and I quickly climbed over the console and onto his lap to kiss him like I had been dying to all night. I thought we were safe from his pounding admissions, but the roof of the car seemed to work just as well.

  I finally asked him about it after my focus changed from one of euphoria. “What is with your language?”

  He was sitting with his forehead on my shoulder as he struggled to catch his breath. He looked up at me with sweat beading on his face and shook his head. “I have no idea. It’s never been like this for me.”

  A slow smile grew on my face. I caused him to lose his mind and scream profanity as he beat his hand against something. It was pretty darned ego building. He could hit anything he wanted and call out things that would shock his mother, I wouldn’t care. I caused Julius to lose all control and it only made me love him more.

  We decided to go past his apartment, so he could pack a bag and then spend the night at my place. I worried about Amos hearing things he would relate to my mother, but who was I kidding, nothing about me would shock my mom anymore. I left my shoes in his car and we walked together up the two flights of stairs. I stood behind him, hugging him tightly as he unlocked the door. We walked inside together to see Mr. Stovall and Sara going at it on the living room floor. I was relieved it wasn’t the table, but still, there isn’t enough workers comp to pay for the removal of the image of your boss’s butt pumping up and down in the air.

  Julius quickly covered my eyes, like sex would shock me. The only thing that shocked me was the things he yelled during sex. We ran down the hallway and burst into his bedroom in a fit of laughter. I would never take Mr. Stovall seriously again. He just lost all his power of intimidation and I was writing my own ticket. The cube would no longer be my prison and I would feel free to come and go as I wished.

  “Travis is going to freak,” Julius laughed. “He is so particular about what is proper.”

  “Doesn’t he have a bed?” I asked, because the way I saw it he wasn’t all that proper.

  “His family is very stuffy…. well, outwardly they are very stuffy,” he corrected, telling me they were hypocrites. “I’m sure it is a relief for Travis to be away from them.”

  “Have you met them?” I asked.

  If I would have been paying attention I would have noticed he never answered my question. But his darn fingers were folding some clothes that were draped over a chair and I forgot about Travis’s freaky family and decided to bring up the freakiness going on within his own family tree. “So, why do your parents still live in the same house?”

  He only shrugged and walked over to get a backpack from his closet. I waited for him to answer but he began to pack as if I hadn’t spoken. There had to be some emotional scars that made him open to someone like Jennifer. He was a nice guy, and nice guys were never on Jen’s radar unless she wanted something. I figured because he was a lemniscates he needed to be connected to someone to feel whole. I was sure she promised him forever; just like she did every other man she made promises.

  I couldn’t stand to see my guy’s sad face, so I moved to block his access to his bag and smiled up at him. “I love you,” I stated, fully coherent and thinking clearly.

  His entire face brightened as he pulled me into his arms. “I love you,” he echoed, and then kissed me senseless.

  We were now faced with the awful task of leaving the apartment. I thought we should run as fast as we could, but Julius felt he should call out to Travis and make sure the coast was clear. I was afraid he was going to call out at the wrong moment and ruin everything for Sara, but since it had been a good ten minutes, I was going to be very jealous if anything got ruined.

  Julius opened his bedroom door and yelled, “Travis, may I come out?”

  I knew those were the words Kevin was dying to hear, but unfortunately, he wasn’t the one on the floor in the other room. He called out a couple of more times and we realized they must have already left, out of humiliation, or because it was the proper thing to do. We drove to my place and walked in to find Amos and Claire wrapped up together on the sofa, but they were only watching television instead of waxing the floor.

  “Julius is coming with us tomorrow,” I informed them.

  “Great,” Amos said, without looking away from the screen.

  Claire turned to acknowledge my words and gave me something else to worry about. “Did you ever tell your mother you didn’t want Julius arrested?”

  Crap, I knew I forgot something. In the short time I had known the man I love I realized he could be a bit skittish. Being cuffed and hauled into jail wouldn’t do anything to further our relationship. When he looked at me with wide eyes I did my best to reassure him, and secretly planned to call my mom at the first restroom stop on our way to Cartwright. I ‘reassured’ him as we took a shower before bed and then I ‘reassured’ him again before we left the next morning. I loved ‘reassuring’ Julius. I would love to ‘reassure’ only him for the rest of my life.

  All four of us drove up the coast in Amos’ jeep. The scenery was spectacular, and Claire managed to wait until we pulled over to vomit up her breakfast. Pregnant women can really be quite needy if you ask me.

  When we stopped for gas, I walked to the side of the b
uilding and called my mother. She answered with a cheery voice and I could picture her smiling brightly in my mind. “Hi mom, I have a big surprise. I’m bringing someone with me to meet you and daddy. His name is Julius Carmichael.”

  “Honey,” she said in exasperation. “I can’t make Roland arrest him. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

  “I know,” I said with a pout, leaving out he should be locked away for marrying Jen, but I planned to leave that part out of the introductions. “I’m dating him now. He’s coming to meet you as my boyfriend.” The line was quiet, and I knew my mother was afraid I found him on the web, real or not. “I met him at work. His father owns the company, and guess what, we beat Microsoft.”

  She lowered her voice although nobody would be able to hear her and asked, “Do you want me to hide your turtle?”

  When I was younger I found a piece of driftwood that I insisted was a turtle. I brought it home and slept with it for years, keeping it on my bed always. I didn’t care if he saw my turtle because so far, I felt free to be me and he was accepting of it. If a piece of round driftwood scared him away he would completely freak over my collection of painted toenail trimmings. I laughed without answering and told her we would arrive before the noon hour. I had to force myself to remember this trip was about getting Amuck a job, not about bringing together my parents and my love.

  When we pulled into town I gave Amos directions. I noticed how Julius lowered his head and kept his eyes down as we drove past the Staple’s home. I was sad George wasn’t outside, because I would love to have seen the look on his face as I attacked Julius with kisses. I used to feel sorry for the Staple’s; Dorothy was a quiet woman who Jen easily pushed around. But since George intercepted my phone call, I now considered him the enemy.

  The house I grew up in was nothing like the hotel where Julius was raised. It was simple and small, but it was surrounded by trees which kept my imagination active as a child. I jumped out of the jeep and ran to the door. I was about to knock, because it would be polite and because my father owned a gun. When it opened my mother screamed along with me. We jumped up and down on the narrow cement porch, careful not to knock over a planter of flowers. Claire walked slowly toward the house, but Amos and Julius remained by the vehicle.