by Alicia Rae
“Well, your face looked like your dog just died, except I know you don’t have one.” Jason stared at me with speculative eyes, making me uneasy. “You seemed like you might hit the floor at any second there, too, so I figured I’d better be concerned and come save your ass if you stopped breathing, or Mom would kick my ass.”
I let out a half-strangled laugh. Jason could always make someone laugh, even at the worst of times.
“I’m afraid you can’t save me from this one,” I said, sitting on top of a chopped log behind me. “I fucked up big time.”
Jason used the bottom of his foot to roll another log closer. Then, he tipped it over and sat down next to me. “Spill it, or I’ll beat it out of you,” he threatened in a brotherly tone.
I shifted my gaze from the grass upward to see Gail walking out of the house with a huge smile on her stunning face. Her eyes scanned the yard until they landed on mine, knocking the wind out of me.
Gail’s smile broadened at the sight of me. She waved before taking a seat with Abbey at the patio table, and then she continued to listen to what her friend was saying to her.
“God, I love her,” I murmured, more to myself than anyone. All the while, I prayed I could find a way out of this deep hole I’d managed to dig for myself.
“I already knew that part.” Jason chuckled, nudging me with his shoulder.
No point in skirting around the truth of my actions anymore, so I looked over at him. “That phone call was from William Rawn. I just accepted a job with their company.”
His hand stopped midair with his beer, his jaw gaped open, and his eyes beamed with gladness. “That’s awesome news, Damon!” he exclaimed proudly, slapping me on the back. “Congratulations!”
And the rest of my nightmare needed to be said. “I have not had the chance to tell Gail about any of this yet.”
Jason’s jaw dropped even lower, and he scoffed, “You fucking idiot.”
“Yep,” I agreed on a troubled sigh. I took another swig of my beer, feeling worse with every passing second.
“How in the hell are you going to fix that minor detail?”
I hung my head in defeat and ran my thumb back and forth over the glass of my cold beer bottle. “I don’t even know where to begin explaining it to Gail, Jason,” I admitted. “I was counting on William Rawn Associates letting me commute, not relocating me to Boston.”
“That is a big traveling commitment though, Damon,” he replied thoughtfully. “Especially with your obligations in Denver, too.”
“I will have to give my notice to Dave back in Denver,” I said honestly.
If the choice were between Boston and Denver, I would pick Boston any day of the week. Both involved an airplane ride from here, so I would happily fly longer to work with a phenomenal company.
“I think that sounds more practical of the two to let go,” Jason said in agreement. “Damon, I don’t want you to worry about the office here in Lake Tahoe. I knew going into this business adventure that you weren’t set on staying here, so I want you to make the right decision for you.” He set his hand on my shoulder. “Either way, I got your back.”
“Thanks, man,” I responded sincerely.
“And start by telling Gail the truth, brother. Make her understand your reasons,” he said softly. “That’s all you can do.”
“Yeah.”
Jason slapped my back again, harder this time. “Now, go get your girl, and start with some serious groveling.”
“Okay, Dr. Phil,” I said, rising from my log. “We have seriously got to stop having these conversations, or you’re going to take my man card.”
Jason threw his head back, laughing hysterically. “Oh, Damon, I hate to break this to you, but Gail already owns that card from here on out, bud, so go grovel.”
“Groveling coming right up,” I said, flipping him the bird over my shoulder with a grin to go along with it.
It was already dark by the time Gail and I’d returned home. We had just changed into relaxing clothes to settle in for the night.
I was on the couch, flat on my back. Gail was curled on her side in between my legs with her head propped on my stomach. She was flipping through Netflix in search of a movie for us to watch together.
Fuck. Here we go.
My only objective in this mission was to sincerely apologize to Gail, keep my girl, and pray everything fell into place as though it was meant to be.
I set my hand on top of her head and swept her hair off her face. “Sweetheart,” I said in a soothing tone, breaking the silence, “I need to talk to you.”
Her hand paused from scrolling through the channels. She rolled over onto her stomach and gazed up at me. “Okay. What about?”
Where to start? “Do you remember I said I wasn’t sure if I was officially staying in California?” I asked.
Gail’s body went taut on top of me, and she began to pull away. “Yes,” she murmured.
I gently grabbed her arms, not wanting to give her the chance to walk away before we worked this out. I was determined to find a way.
“Just hear me out, all right?” I asked, trying to keep my voice calm and soothing. It was the complete opposite of how I felt on the inside.
“You’re leaving, aren’t you?” she countered.
“I don’t know yet,” I answered honestly. I decided I’d better get on with it. “I was offered a phenomenal opportunity to work with William Rawn Associates earlier today. I was hopeful they would let me commute a few times a month, going back and forth from here, but as of my conversation with the owner this afternoon, I think it’s an all-or-nothing kind of deal.”
“Where is this company located?” she asked with a wary expression.
“Boston.”
“Boston…as in Massachusetts?” she shouted, scrambling to her feet.
I let her go, not wanting to frighten her. She was pissed, really fucking pissed.
“Yes.”
Gail pointed in the general east direction. “That’s on the other side of the freaking country, Damon!” she responded, stating the obvious thorn in my side.
I stood, going to her, but she took a step back from me. It was a small movement, but it hurt like hell anyway to know she wouldn’t let me touch her and comfort her to make this right.
“I know,” I acknowledged softly. “Please let me explain.”
Her eyes widened, and I could practically see the gears churning in her mind.
She asked, “Is that where you went last week?”
“Yes,” I sighed. “Not originally though. I went to Denver first to look over the hospital remodel. While I was there, William Rawn Associates contacted me for an interview, so I flew straight to Boston the next morning.”
“I see,” she pondered. Then, she softly asked, “How long have you known about this?”
“Two weeks ago, I sent them blueprints, so they could look over my work,” I admitted, briefly closing my eyes. A pang of guilt hit me in the chest, aiming straight for my heart. I shook my head and clarified, “I never thought anything would come of it. This was a far-off thought, a dream of mine that I never thought would become a reality.”
Gail nodded thoughtfully, and tears surfaced in her eyes. She blinked them away as if she didn’t want me to see them. Even hurt, she was so strong.
I tried to take another step forward to wrap her in my arms, but she withdrew away from me again. It was pure torture to know I’d broken her trust, and I was not able to comfort her.
“I’m happy for you, Damon.” She smiled sadly. “You’re an amazing man and deserve this remarkable opportunity.” Her voice broke, showing her deep wounds. “I sincerely wish you the best.”
Gail went to turn on her heels, dismissing me.
Like hell I’ll give up so easily.
“Come with me, Gail,” I blurted out. “This changes nothing of what I feel for you.”
She spun around with lightning speed, eyeing me like I was crazy. “Changes nothing?” she exclaimed with a
humorless laugh. “It changes everything, Damon!”
“No, it doesn’t,” I said, approaching her this time without backing down. “I know this is all coming out wrong, and it’s not going the way I envisioned at all,” I admitted sheepishly. “But more than anything, I want to be with you and take care of you, Gail. Please come with me to Boston.” I lifted my hand to catch the soft skin of her face as my opposing one pulled her waist to mine.
“I can’t,” she whispered, turning her head to shield her falling tears from me. “I can’t leave my family, my friends. This is my home. It’s where I belong.”
“So, you love me but not enough to come with me?” I asked, going straight for the heart of things, but knowing it was the truth.
She glanced up at me, narrowing her eyes. “Not like this. If you loved me and wanted me by your side, Damon, you would have told me about this two weeks ago…” She tugged away from me, rotated her body toward her room, and looked at me over her shoulder. “Instead of keeping it a secret from me.”
“I’m sorry,” I said with utmost earnestness. “I never meant for it to transpire into this.”
“I’m sorry, too,” she murmured before ambling into her room and quietly closing the door.
I closed my eyes, thinking that conversation surely did not go the way I’d imagined it in my mind. All the things I’d wanted to say and explain had come out wrong.
It seemed as though I had a choice to make between my dream job and the girl of my dreams. Either way, I was going to lose one of the two things I wanted most.
~Gail~
Of all the days my boss, Greg, could have given me off this week, it had to be today. Although, it was probably a good thing because I could feel how puffy my eyes were from crying into the morning hours. I surely did not need a mirror for any confirmation.
I dropped my face back into my pillow, wanting to avoid the reality that Damon—the man I had given my heart to—was leaving for Boston soon. So, I went back to sleep where fairy tales could be my happily ever after.
A loud banging noise on my door startled me awake. I jumped out of bed and ran for the door as I realized I’d forgotten my lunch date with Abbey.
“Gail Diane Bennett, open this door right now!” Abbey shouted from the other side. “You can’t hide from me!”
I slid to a stop and unlocked the dead bolt.
She added, “Don’t make me figure out how to break down this door because if I ruin my cute new heels, I’ll kick your ass!”
“Hold your horses!” I shouted back with a laugh and whipped the door open. “I’m so sorry I forgot about our lunch!”
She set her hands on her hips. A bag banged against her waist. “At first, I just thought you were late. Let’s face it—if I’m not late, you’re late.”
I ignored her jab.
She kept going, “Then, I realized you had stood me up, brat.”
“Sorry,” I repeated with a cringe. “Last night was rough, so I went back to bed and overslept.”
“Until one in the afternoon?” she asked in astonishment.
“I guess so,” I confessed guiltily with wide eyes.
Abbey’s gaze raked over me and then softened with a sympathetic gesture. “I heard what happened with Damon last night. Do you want to talk about it?” she asked, lifting the bag from our favorite fast-food place.
I perked a brow. “Is that a club sandwich with extra sauce?”
“Yep.” Abbey beamed, entering my apartment. “Only because I love you though.”
I closed the door after her.
Abbey strolled over to the couch, sat down, and patted the spot next to her. “Come tell mama all your problems,” she cooed, teasingly.
I smirked. “How can you still make me laugh when I feel like crap?” I wondered out loud, moping, as I walked over to her.
“It is a best-friend thing,” she responded and more forcefully slapped the open seat next to her. “Now, sit your rear down.”
“Yes, Mother Hen,” I replied, sitting in the open space at her side.
“If you don’t want me to eat your sandwich, you’d better start talking, lady,” Abbey threatened jokingly.
“It sounds like you already know the story.”
“I do, but only because Jason sucked it out of Damon this morning when he came into the office, grunting and looking like the walking dead.” She eyed me again. “And I can see you do, too.”
“Thanks. I love you, too,” I retorted, snatching my sandwich from her.
I unwrapped my cold sandwich and took a bite, gathering my thoughts. Then, I spilled my heart to Abbey, who listened thoughtfully to all the reasons why I could not bear to leave Lake Tahoe, my parents, Caroline, her, Jason, Pearl, and Audrey. They were all my family. They were all that I had.
I continued with how hurt I was from Damon keeping this job opportunity from me and making me feel like I had just been here to warm the sheets with him while he had known he had a job possibility on the table in Boston. I had given him my heart, and he was leaving it behind.
“Gail,” Abbey chimed in softly, “I can see where you are coming from and why you feel betrayed because he withheld the truth. But do you know what this job means to Damon?”
“Yes, and I don’t expect him to turn it down,” I answered, accepting the reality of what it was. “Damon deserves to be happy with his career. He’s worked so hard to get where he is in his life.”
Abbey regarded my response and then said, “What if you loved someone with your whole heart, but you could only open your practice in Boston?”
I had no answer.
She continued, “Would you want Damon to go with you and support you, knowing he could transfer his job anywhere? Or would you give up your practice to stay here and be with him?” Abbey set her arm on mine. “Because love is rare, Gail, and you two have something too special to just give it up.”
I thought through all the precious time I had spent with Damon, all the little things he had done, including what he had done for Caroline. His willingness to give held no bounds. All the while, I had fallen in love with him, and here I was, unwilling to support his dream because I would have to give up something dear to me.
I inhaled deeply and let it all out, knowing this was what I needed to do for Damon. I could make my career anywhere. Damon had not been given such an opportunity.
And I loved him. That was all that mattered, not my address. As much as it would hurt to leave my family, without the expense of Caroline’s tuition and considering I could find a job with more hours, I would definitely be able to afford to visit them.
I stared over at Abbey, understanding her point, as my eyes brought forth a new wave of tears even though I was not sure how I could physically cry again after last night.
I threw my arms around Abbey. “Thank you, Abbey,” I cried. “Thank you for opening my eyes.”
We parted, and I leaped to my feet.
“I have to go find him,” I added.
“Uh…Gail?” Abbey appeared guilty. “Damon will be here soon. I made Jason boot him out the door after he loaded up his tools for the day. He said something about making a few phone calls before he came home.”
My expression gaped at her admission, taking in my attire. Not to mention, my hair and eyes were a complete mess.
“Abbey! A little notice would have been nice!” I yelped good-naturedly with panic. “I look like hell!” I stated the obvious.
“Maybe you should take a quick shower, sweetie,” Abbey sneered wittily, stifling her laughter.
“Thanks. Love you, too,” I repeated, loving her honesty but disliking it at the same time. I guessed it was a best-friend thing.
“Back atcha, girl.” She winked. “Now, hurry and go fix yourself up. I can let myself out.”
I flew through my shower like a mad woman. I dried off, only to realize I did not have my clothes, so I wrapped the towel around myself before peeking my head out the door.
I softly yelled, “Abbey?” to m
ake sure she was gone.
When I got no response, I ran for it.
Five steps into my sprint, I caught sight of Damon from the corner of my eye. I half-jumped, screeched, and spun around to face him, nearly breaking my neck in the manner.
“Jeez!” I yelped.
Damon was leaning against the arm of the couch with his arms crossed and his legs propped out in front of him.
“You scared the hell out of me!”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you. Although, I should have known with how often I catch you flying out of the bathroom.” He smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. His expression sobered, and it did not take much to realize what he was thinking about. “It’s how we shared our first kiss,” he added.
My expression mirrored his as I replayed the images of that day. I let out a deep breath, soaking him in some more. His brown hair was ruffled more than usual, and his blue eyes were heavy and appeared restless.
With my heart pounding for more reasons than one, I lessened the gap separating us, yearning to be near him, as I needed to apologize for my inappropriate behavior yesterday.
He watched my every move. The tension in the air was thick, but I disregarded it. I brought my hands to either side of his face, only inches away from him, and I brushed them through his messy hair and down to his morning stubble I loved so much.
As if absorbing my touch, he closed his eyes, let out a relieved sigh, and let his forehead fall against my chest. His hands came to my sides and tugged me into him.
“I’m so sorry,” I said softly, breaking the silence.
He gently shook his head. “You don’t have anything to apologize for, Gail.”
“Yes, I do,” I countered, caressing him. “When you love someone, you support him and his dreams. I didn’t do that for you yesterday, and I’m sorry.”
“I should have told you sooner,” he replied, remorse lacing his tone. He tipped his head to meet my gaze. “I never meant to hurt you.”
“I know,” I acknowledged. “You did it because you wanted to keep me from worrying.”
