Count Bunker

by J. Storer Clouston

  CHAPTER XVI

  In a dog-cart borrowed from his obliging host, Count Bunker approachedthe present residence of Mr. Darius P. Maddison. He saw, and--in hisclient's interest--noted with approval the efforts that were beingmade to convert an ordinary fishing-lodge into a suitable retreat for agentleman worth so many million dollars. "Corryvohr," as the house wasoriginally styled, or "Lincoln Lodge," as the patriotic Silver King hadre-named it, had already been enlarged for his reception by the additionof four complete suites of apartments, each suitable for a noblemanand his retinue, an organ hall, 10,000 cubic yards of sculleryaccommodation, and a billiard-room containing three tables. But since hehad taken up his residence there he had discovered the lack of severalother essentials for a quiet "mountain life" (as he appropriatelyphrased it), and these defects were rapidly being remedied as our frienddrove up. The conservatory was already completed, with the exceptionof the orchid and palm houses; the aviary was practically ready, andseveral crates of the rarer humming-birds were expected per goods trainthat evening; while a staff of electricians could be seen erecting theprivate telephone by which Mr. Maddison proposed to keep himself intouch with the silver market.

  The Count had no sooner pressed the electric bell than a number ofmen-servants appeared, sufficient to conduct him in safety to a handsomelibrary fitted with polished walnut, and carpeted as softly as the mosson a mountain-side. Having sent in his card, he entertained himself bygazing out of the window and wondering what strange operation wasbeing conducted on a slope above the house, where a grove of pines wereapparently being rocked to and fro by a concourse of men with poles andpulleys. But he had not to wait long, for with a promptitude that gaveone some inkling of the secret of Mr. Maddison's business success, themillionaire entered.

  In a rapid survey the Count perceived a tall man in the neighborhoodof sixty: gray-haired, gray-eyed, and gray-faced. The clean-shaved andwell-cut profile included the massive foundation of jaw which Bunkerhad confidently anticipated, and though his words sounded florid in aEuropean ear, they were uttered in a voice that corresponded excellentlywith this predominant chin.

  "I am very pleased to see you, sir, very pleased indeed," he assured theCount not once but several times, shaking him heartily by the hand andeyeing him with a glance accustomed to foresee several days before hisfellows the probable fluctuations in the price of anything.

  "I have taken the liberty of calling upon you in the capacity of LordTulliwuddle's confidential friend," the Count began. "He is at present,as you may perhaps have learned, visiting his ancestral possessions----"

  "My dear sir, for some days we have been expecting his lordship andyourself to honor us with a visit," Mr. Maddison interposed. "You neednot trouble to introduce yourself. The name of Count Bunker is alreadyfamiliar to us."

  He bowed ceremoniously as he spoke, and the Count with no lesspoliteness laid his hand upon his heart and bowed also.

  "I looked forward to the meeting with pleasure," he replied. "But it hasalready exceeded my anticipations."

  He would have still further elaborated these assurances, but with hisinvariable tact he perceived a shrewd look in the millionaire's eye thatwarned him he had to do with a man accustomed to flowery preliminariesfrom the astutest manipulators of a deal.

  "I am only sorry you should find our little cottage in such disorder,"said Mr. Maddison. "The contractor for the conservatory undertook toerect it in a week, and my only satisfaction is that he is now paying mea forfeit of 500 dollars a day. As for the electricians in this country,sir, they are not incompetent men, but they must be taught to hustle ifthey are to work under American orders; and I don't quite see how theyare to find a job anyways else."

  He turned to the window with a more satisfied air.

  "Here, however, you will perceive a tolerably satisfactory piece ofwork. I guess those trees will be ready pretty near as soon as thecapercailzies are ready for them."

  Count Bunker opened his eyes.

  "Do I understand that you are erecting a pine wood?"

  "You do. That fir forest is my daughter's notion. She thought ordinaryplane-trees looked kind of unsuitable for our mountain home. The landof Burns and of the ill-fated Claverhouse, Viscount Dundee, should havemore appropriate foliage than that! Well, sir, it took four hundred menjust three days to remove the last traces of the last root of the lastof those plane-trees."

  "And the pines, I suppose, you brought from a neighboring wood?" saidthe Count, patriotically endeavoring not to look too dumbfoundered.

  "No, sir. Lord Tulliwuddle's factor was too slow for me--said he mustconsult his lordship before removing the timber on the estate. I cabledto Norway: the trees arrived yesterday in Aberdeen, and I guess halfof them are as near perpendicular by now as a theodolite can make them.They are being erected, sir, on scientific principles."

  Restraining his emotion with a severe effort, Bunker quietly observed

  "Very good idea. I don't know that it would have occurred to me to landthem at Aberdeen."

  From the corner of his eye he saw that his composure had produced adistinct impression, but he found it hard to retain it through theSilver King's next statement.

  "You have taken a long lease of Lincoln Lodge, I presume?" he inquired.

  "One year," said Mr. Maddison. "But I reckon to be comfortable if I'mspending twenty minutes at a railroad junction."

  "Ah!" responded the Count, "in that case shifting a forest must bechild's-play."

  The millionaire smiled affably at this pleasantry and invited his guestto be seated.

  "You will try something American, I hope, Count Bunker?" he asked,touching the bell.

  Count Bunker, rightly conceiving this to indicate a cock-tail, repliedthat he would, and in as nearly seven and a half seconds as he couldcalculate, a tray appeared with two of these remarkable compounds.Following his host's example, the Count threw his down at a gulp.

  "The same," said Mr. Maddison simply. And in an almost equally briefspace the same arrived.

  "Now," said he, when they were alone again, "I hope you will pardonme, Count, if I am discourteous enough to tell you that my time isuncomfortably cramped. When I first came here I found that I wasexpected to stand upon the shore of the river for two hours on thechance of catching one salmon. But I have changed all that. As soon as Istep outside my door, my ghillie brings me my rod, and if there ain'ta salmon at the end for me to land, another ghillie will receive hissalary. Since lunch I have caught a fish, despatched fifteen cablegrams,and dictated nine letters. I am only on holiday here, and if I don't getthrough double that amount in the next two hours I scarcely see my wayto do much more fishing to-day. That being so, let us come right tothe point. You bring some kind of proposition from Lord Tulliwuddle, Iguess?"

  During his drive the Count had cogitated over a number of judiciousmethods of opening the delicate business; but his adaptability was equalto the occasion. In as business-like a tone as his host, he replied--

  "You are quite right, Mr. Maddison. Lord Tulliwuddle has deputed me toopen negotiations for a certain matrimonial project."

  Mr. Maddison's expression showed his appreciation of this candor anddelicacy.

  "Well," said he, "to be quite frank, Count, I should have thought allthe better of his lordship if he had been a little more prompt about thebusiness."

  "It is not through want of admiration for Miss Maddison, I assureyou----"

  "No," interrupted Mr. Maddison, "it is because he does not realize thevalue of time--which is considerably more valuable than admiration, Ican assure you. Since I discussed the matter with Lord Tulliwuddle'saunt we have had several more buyers--I should say, suitors--in themarket--er--in the field, Count Bunker. But so far, fortunately for hislordship, my Eleanor has not approved of the samples sent, and ifhe still cares to come forward we shall be pleased to consider hisproposition."

  The millionaire looked at him out of an impenetrable eye; and the Countin an equally guarded tone replied,

  "I greatl
y approve of putting things on so sound a footing, and withequal frankness I may tell you--in confidence, of course--that LordTulliwuddle also is not without alternatives. He would, however, preferto offer his title and estates to Miss Maddison, provided that there isno personal objection to be found on either side."

  Mr. Maddison's eye brightened and his tone warmed.

  "Sir," said he, "I guess there won't be much objection to EleanorMaddison when your friend has seen her. Without exaggeration, I may saythat she is the most beautiful girl in America, and that is to say, themost beautiful girl anywhere. The precise amount of her fortune we candiscuss, supposing the necessity arrives: but I can assure you it willbe sufficient to set three of your mortgaged British aristocrats upontheir legs again. No, sir, the objection will not come from THAT side!"

  With a gentle smile and a deprecatory gesture the Count answered, "Iam convinced that Miss Maddison is all--indeed, more than all--youreloquence has painted. On the other hand, I trust that you will not bedisappointed in my friend Tulliwuddle."

  Mr. Maddison crossed his legs and interlocked his fingers like a manabout to air his views. This, in fact, was what he proceeded to do.

  "My opinion of aristocracies and the pampered individuals who composethem is the opinion of an intelligent and enlightened democrat. I seethem from the vantage-ground of a man who has made his own way in theworld unhampered by ancestry, who has dwelt in a country fortunatelyunencumbered by such hindrances to progress, and who has no personalknowledge of their defects. You will admit that I speak with unusualopportunities of forming a judgment?"

  "You should have the impartiality of a missionary," said Bunker gravely.

  "That is so, sir. Now, in proposing to marry my daughter to a member ofthis class, I am actuated solely by a desire to take advantage ofthe opportunities such an alliance would confer. I am still perfectlyclear?"

  "Perfectly," replied Bunker, with the same profound gravity.

  "In consequence," resumed the millionaire, with the impressiveness ofa logician drawing a conclusion from two irrefutable premises--"inconsequence, Count Bunker, I demand--and my daughter demands--and myson demands, sir, that the nobleman should possess an unusual number ofhigh-class, fire-proof, expert-guaranteed qualities. That is only fair,you must admit?"

  "I agree with you entirely."

  Mr. Maddison glanced at the clock and sprang to his feet.

  "I have not the pleasure of knowing my neighbor, Mr. Gallosh," he said,resuming his brisk business tone; "but I beg you to convey to him and tohis wife and daughter my compliments--and my daughter's compliments--andtell them that we hope they will excuse ceremony and bring LordTulliwuddle to luncheon to-morrow."

  Count Bunker expressed his readiness to carry this message, and themillionaire even more briskly resumed--

  "I shall now give myself the pleasure of presenting you to my son anddaughter."

  With his swiftest strides he escorted his distinguished guest to anotherroom, flung the door open, announced, "My dears, Count Bunker!" andpressed the Count's hand even as he was effecting this introduction.

  "Very pleased to have met you, Count. Good day," he ejaculated, andvanished on the instant.