Had To Be You

by Juliet Chatham

  “Oh, sweetie…” Jill shook her head. “I have no idea how to do that. He’s getting married in less than a week!”

  “He can’t! He can’t really love her.”

  “Rory, did you ever stop to consider that maybe he really could?”

  Jill’s words were delivered gently, but the impact still hit Rory like a ton of bricks. This was the reality too painful for her to face, the one she so childishly and stubbornly refused to acknowledge.

  “Hey, look who’s joining us!”

  Lindsay suddenly reappeared at the table with Casey Conroy close behind. Rory quickly gathered up the rest of her emotions, tucking each one back in its proper place before slamming the lid down tight.

  “I’m finally off work!” Casey exclaimed happily, plopping herself down at their table. “And I ordered you a real drink, girl.”

  As if on cue, a waitress arrived, placing a ridiculously large margarita down in front of Rory. She could actually detect the fumes of tequila wafting off it, and noticed Lindsay was now sipping from some colossal-sized cocktail as well.

  Jill arched one eyebrow. “I feel this is my cue to leave.”

  “No, stay!” Lindsay urged her. “It’s going to be fun!”

  “I’m sure,” she replied drolly, then gave a pointed look. “Rory? Are you coming?”

  She was hesitant to reply. “I don’t know. Maybe I’ll just stay for this one.”

  “Really?” Jill didn’t bother to hide her disapproval, and leaned in close to lower her voice. “You really think getting drunk right now is a good solution?”

  To Rory, getting drunk right now sounded like a pretty damn great solution to her woes. But she only responded with a shrug of her shoulder. She had years of practice at hiding her true feelings, and it wasn’t going to make a difference now.

  Jill gave up on a resigned sigh. “Okay, well, whatever. Just call me if you need me.”

  “I will.” Rory met her eyes, trying to convey her gratitude. “Thanks, Jill.”

  “Well, good night ladies.” The petite, pregnant blonde used the table for support as she moved to stand. “Do me proud.”

  As the others called out their well-wishes and goodnights, Rory felt a bit guilty watching her go. She exhaled softly, trying to blow out that lingering weepy ache inside her chest. It only left her feeling hollow.

  The moment Jill disappeared out the door, Lindsay immediately turned to her. Her bright, full smile seemed like it might burst at the seams. She obviously had some gossip to share, just like back in high school.

  “Guess what?”

  “What?” Rory took a tentative sip of her drink.

  “We’re going to crash the bachelor party!”

  She coughed, nearly choking, as she sputtered out her reply. “We’re going to what?”

  Lindsay immediately deflected the blame, also very much like in high school. “It was Casey’s idea!”

  “Luke has been texting me all night.” Casey glanced up from the cell phone tucked away in her hand. “They’re on their way back to his house right now. He wants us to come over.”

  “I can’t wait to see Bobby’s face.” Lindsay narrowed her eyes to savor the thought, and then returned to her bubbly enthusiasm. “So, are you in or what?”

  “She’s in,” Casey answered for her.

  Rory frowned, feeling like it had already been said, and downed a much bigger gulp of her drink.

  “I guess I’m in.”

  FIFTEEN

  Matt was drunk.

  In fact, there were probably only a handful of times in his life that he had gone out with the express purpose of getting this inebriated. That’s not to say he didn’t achieve this somewhat lofty goal on nights where he hadn’t made it his sole reason for being, but tonight he definitely exceeded all prior expectations.

  It all started with the short-lived trip to the strip club that never should have happened. Maybe it was just one too many made-for-television movies on the Lifetime channel, but he quickly discovered he was unable to look at a scantily clad women offering him a lap dance without imagining that she was putting herself through school after her parents were tragically killed by foreign spies, or saving up to pay for an operation to give sight to her blind golden retriever. It sort of put a damper on the whole exotic fantasy element for him. So, instead he drank.

  Now he was drinking some more. They were at Luke’s rental place, a ramshackle little weather-beaten cottage on the same strip of beach as his brothers’ house, although their place was located on the much more exclusive, private end.

  Through the sliding doors that led off the kitchen, he could actually see the glow from distant porch lights across a mile of darkened beach. For some reason, against his will, his attention kept focusing there, imagining which one was theirs, where she was.

  In this not-so-great Gatsby state, it got to the point where he could understand why mosquitoes and other little flying insects are dumb enough to let themselves get zapped on those outdoor electronic bug control devices, because giving in to that feeling of being drawn to her would end up in the same result—a fatal electrical charge to his heart, rendering him helpless, immobile, dead.

  “Matty, your deal.”

  Bobby passed him the deck of cards, following it with a puff of smoke from his cigar. He, along with Luke, Kevin and his brother Danny, were the last ones left playing cards at the kitchen table. They’d lost Johnny Mac, Pat and the other guys along the way, although his sister Maura’s new boyfriend, Kyle, was still with them—just passed out on Luke’s couch. (They’d managed, however, to restrain themselves from tampering with his body in any way in deference to her.) His dad even joined them for a couple of congratulatory beers early in the evening.

  All in all, he supposed it had been a good night, and he’d had fun, although Matt couldn’t quite shake that feeling that something was missing. Maybe it was just because Murph couldn’t be there. Maybe it was something else.

  He glanced up to notice movement at the slider doors, and suddenly they opened to the beach breezes. He arched an eyebrow in mild surprise as Casey Conroy and Lindsay stepped through to enter the kitchen.

  “Hello, boys!”

  “Hey, babe. You’re here!” Luke practically leapt up from his seat, immediately going over to wrap his arms around the buxom blonde.

  “Well, now wait just a minute…” Matt chuckled good-naturedly as he shuffled the deck. “If any beautiful women are showing up tonight, don’t you think they should be here for m—”

  His voice stuck in his throat, halted by the sight of Rory appearing behind them.

  Aw, hell.

  Zap.

  “Hey, ladies!” Kevin lifted his beer with a happy cheer of greeting.

  While Lindsay promptly plopped herself down in Bobby’s lap, Rory just smiled, tentatively raising her hand in a small wave. On the other side of the kitchen, Luke and Casey were now busy exchanging whispered words and kisses, laughing softly together as he began guiding her backwards towards his bedroom.

  The O’Shea brothers tilted their heads to watch them disappear down the hall, chuckling under their breath.

  “Guess he’s happy to see her, huh?” said Kevin.

  Danny raised an eyebrow, his eyes on his cards. “You can say that again.”

  “Guess he’s happy to see her, huh?”

  Matt only stared and smiled at Rory for a long moment, his eyes narrowing in curiosity. “Oh, you’re still around?” he tossed out. “I thought you’d be long gone by now.”

  “So did I.”

  “Well, looks like you’re up,” he finally said, motioning towards the abandoned chair. “Park it over there, sister.”

  She smirked dubiously, but moved to sit all the same. “You want me to play poker?”

  “No, I think Luke’s got that covered,” he quipped with a quick grin.

  She just gave him one of her looks. He leaned back in his chair, balanced precariously on two legs, and reached behind for the refrigera
tor door to retrieve a cold bottle of beer. He slid it across the table to her.

  Kevin offered up a bowl of bright, neon orange snacks. “Can I interest you in a savory cheese puff?”

  “No, thanks.” Rory shook her head in response, still holding Matt’s gaze as she cracked opened the beer.

  Matt wasn’t sure he wanted to know what it was he saw in her eyes. He settled back into his seat and picked up the cards. “I just hope you’re ready to play with the big boys, Finn.”

  “Oh, I am. But for now, you’ll do.”

  He only smiled again as he dealt out the cards.

  Lindsay took a long swallow from Bobby’s beer before fixing them all with a playfully judgmental sneer. “And how was the strip club?”

  “It was okay,” Matt replied. “You should have joined us there, too.”

  “Yeah—right, Rory?” she chirped with comical skepticism. “You and me at a strip club?”

  “Hey, I went,” Kevin pointed out.

  One corner of Rory’s mouth curved up slightly as she exchanged amused glances with him. “True. And at least there’s the remote possibility that we may have actually enjoyed it.”

  Matt was lifting his beer but paused to frown at her. “Oh, now that’s just mean.” He sighed dramatically. “Well, that’s it. Just so you’re aware, now that you’ve put the girl-on-girl visual in my mind? I’m forced to start thinking dirty thoughts about you.”

  “You’re forced?” she responded in muted sarcasm. “Yeah, like I’m really holding a gun to your head.”

  “You can hold anything you want,” he replied, studying his hand. “Because I’m already packing some heat.”

  Lindsay giggled, hooking her arm around Bobby’s neck. “Let’s turn this into strip poker, then, and find out if the rumors are true!”

  Matt glanced at her.

  “What rumors exactly are we talking about?”

  “That for an Irish boy,” she laughed, “you’re definitely not a victim of the infamous Irish curse.”

  He hesitated, amusement tugging at the corner of his small smile, before he stole a quick glance at Rory across the table. She was studying her cards carefully, remaining silent, but her cheeks were suddenly bright pink.

  His lips parted, but the comment remained there on the tip of his tongue and he let it pass.

  “All right, who’s in?” he said. “Because I am on a roll, my friends.”

  “Then put your money where your mouth is.” Bobby tilted his head towards the pile of crumpled bills in the middle of the table. “Talk is cheap.”

  “And so is Danny,” Kevin added quietly.

  Danny frowned as his eyes drifted over his hand, rubbing thoughtfully at his chin.

  “I’m out,” he finally said, dropping his cards to the table.

  “And so is Kevin,” Matt said.

  “Screw it. I’m out, too. And I need another beer.” Bobby threw his cards down before standing up from his chair, lifting his girlfriend up with him in a hug. “Hey, you should have seen these girls digging on my boy tonight at the bar,” he said with a grin. “He was da man. But that’s how it goes, right?” He rubbed his hand over Matt’s dark hair as he headed for the refrigerator. “Once they know you’re taken, that’s when they want you the most. One of those unexplainable mysteries.”

  “Yes, let’s get Sherlock Holmes on the phone,” Rory drawled under her breath.

  Matt leaned forward to meet her eyes.

  “So, how about you? Do you find yourself strangely attracted to me right now?”

  Rory reached for her beer and almost knocked it over. Though she caught it before any spilled, he thought he detected a shaky tremble in her hand.

  “I don’t even find myself normally attracted to you,” she replied, giving him a sarcastically sweet smile before ducking behind her cards.

  He watched her briefly with a quizzical grin, and then returned his eyes to his own as they continued to play out the hand. When it came back around to him, he pretended to fan himself.

  “I don’t know about you, but I’m feeling a little flush.”

  Rory frowned as he then threw down a suit of spades, spreading them out in a row.

  “Well, that’s it.” She dropped her cards. “I’m out.”

  “Aw…” He raised his hands in a mock helpless gesture. “Now I feel bad.”

  “Don’t worry about it. I don’t want you to go losing any sleep over me.”

  “Oh, believe me, if I found myself over you?” Matt collected the cards. “The last thing I’d be thinking about doing was sleeping, sweetheart.”

  She threw him another look as she stood from her chair, and the flick of those gorgeous, mercurial eyes felt like the spark of a hidden match inside.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, suddenly and inexplicably panicked to think she might be walking out on him again.

  “Just getting some air.”

  Matt peered over at the deck, watching her outside in the dark, the pale silvery moonlight shimmering in her long hair. Even knowing she was right here in town, he managed to stay away for days now. Perhaps he’d reached his limit. He passed the cards over to Kevin.

  “You know what?” he said, moving to stand, his eyes still locked on Rory as she descended the steps towards the beach. “I’m out.”

  “You really think that’s a good idea?” his brother muttered to him with a nervous, pained sigh.

  Matt clasped a hand on his shoulder as he edged past his chair.

  “Probably not. But do I ever question your lifestyle, Kevin?”

  ***

  Rory paused on the bottom step to take a calming breath, gripping the weathered wood railing tight in her hand as she gazed out across the darkened beach.

  The crests of sea foam and tidal pools glistened in the glow of the moon as she started forward, remembering a game she used to play as a girl. Walking to and from school each day, she used to tell herself things like, “if I can hurdle over this puddle and clear it, today I’ll pass my test” or “if I can jump high enough to touch this tree branch, my dad will be home tonight.” Of course, she realized the futility in making these kinds of wagers, because life does not play fair. Yet still she found herself betting as she stepped off, her feet sinking into the cool, shifting sand, feeling that achy fluttering inside her chest.

  If he follows me out onto this beach, he won’t marry someone else.

  “Rory?”

  She heard the sliders open and close, then him jogging across the soft sand behind her.

  “What are you doing?”

  She smiled up at him in the moonlight. “The cigar smoke was starting to get to me in there.”

  “Yeah, I don’t know whose bright idea that was,” Matt muttered in a low voice.

  “So, was it a successful bachelor party?” she asked.

  “Well, that remains to be seen. It’s not over yet.” He grinned, playfully bumping against her as they started to walk. “Seriously, I’m glad you showed up tonight.”

  “You are?”

  “Well, yeah,” he said. “I mean, Murph wasn’t able to make it out for this, and even as much as I love those guys and my brothers and all…” He seemed to shift directions, his voice lowering comically. “Hey, at least you’re a lot easier on the eyes than Danny.”

  “I may have to beg to differ,” Rory said. “After having seen him in various stages of undress these past couple of weeks? I have to say—”

  “Okay, okay! You can end it right there,” he cut her off, wrapping one arm around her neck in a playful wrestling move. “The last thing I need is to imagine you lusting after my big brother, believe me.”

  She laughed in protest and he released his hold, drifting just the tips of his fingers down her back. They walked in comfortable silence for a while, the ocean shimmering under a diamond sky.

  “I guess I didn’t realize that Luke and Casey had a thing,” she said.

  “Yeah, that’s fairly recent,” Matt agreed. “Though he actually had
a thing for her a while ago, without much success.”

  “So did you, if I recall.”

  “I what?”

  “You had a crush on Casey Conroy.”

  “When was this?”

  “In high school.”

  He laughed. “I did not!”

  “Sophomore year?” she reminded him. “It sure seemed like you did.”

  “Eh, that was probably just to throw you off.”

  “Throw me off what?”

  “My tragically unrequited crush on you.”

  Finally, they slowed to a stop at the edge of the tide. Rory glanced over at him uncertainly. She was barely able to see his face, but knew it by heart.

  “Was it so unrequited though?”

  “In the beginning, for a while there,” he said. “At least I like to think so. Perhaps you just learned to mask your disgust, I don’t know.”

  “Yeah, that was probably it,” she agreed.

  His voice softened in the dark. “I haven’t forgotten, by the way.”

  The air stilled in her chest, her heart waiting.

  “The other day? When we were talking on the deck? It seemed like something was bothering you?” he continued. “Something you thought you messed up?”

  She released the breath she was holding in, letting go of some other things as well.

  “I remember.”

  “Well, I want you to know, Rory—whatever it is or was, you can still talk to me. That’s never going to change.”

  She glanced down briefly. “Even if it was about you and me?”

  He gave her a quick, quizzical grin.

  “Why? Are we messed up?”

  “Our friendship isn’t,” she said carefully, more hesitant to meet his eyes this time. “At least I like to hope it isn’t, since it’s pretty amazing that we even managed to remain friends. You know, after everything.”

  “Yeah, things got a little shaky from time to time.” He nodded with a fainter smile. “But we made it through. Back to where we started, right?”

  The effort of managing a smile in return made her eyes water. A brief silence settled over them.