Had To Be You

by Juliet Chatham

  “Tell me. Please, Rory.”

  She closed her eyes, and her reply finally floated out on a whispery sigh. “Okay…I know.”

  Matt released a trembling breath of relief, but Kevin picked that exact moment to walk back in, his hands held up to shield his eyes like blinders.

  “Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain,” he said. “I just left my cell phone in here.” He quickly snatched it off the dresser and turned to go, keeping his gaze averted as he steered clear of the bed.

  Matt’s gaze remained locked on her, though he addressed his brother.

  “Did Mom and Dad already leave to go out to dinner?”

  “Yeah, just a minute ago.”

  “And are you going out tonight?”

  “Wasn’t really planning on it. My friends are headed to the movies, but I don’t get paid until tomorrow.”

  Matt inclined his head. “There’s twenty bucks in my top drawer.”

  “Then, yes,” Kevin grinned, cheering up a bit. “Yes, I am.” He opened the drawer and plucked the bill out with finesse before disappearing out the door again. “See ya.”

  “Bye, Kev,” Rory said.

  Matt swallowed, that tight knot in his chest loosening, and a tentative smile twitched at the corners of his lips once they were alone again. He eased off to the side, dropping next to her on his bed with a weary grunt, like a soldier returning from battle.

  After a moment of recovery, he shifted his gaze towards her.

  “Are we going to be okay?”

  Rory only nodded.

  He leaned in a fraction of an inch closer to nuzzle her hair, brushing his cheek against her silky softness. She tilted her chin up, just the bottom corner of her plush lip grazing his. Even that slight, fleeting touch left him weak.

  Her thick lashes fluttered against her cheeks, and her gaze met his in the silent evening shadows of the room. His heart clenched painfully inside his chest as he sank deep into those eyes.

  Without a word, he lifted his hand to her face, tenderly caressing her cheek as he lowered his lips. This time her mouth molded to his in a perfect fit, the kiss warm and sweet and soft. After a long while, he pulled back to gaze into her face.

  Her eyes glistened in the dim light.

  “The song,” she said quietly.

  Matt tilted his head, pausing to smile as he listened to the familiar low notes drifting out. He didn’t really need the cosmic universe to confirm for him that this was right and perfect, but it was nice to know someone out there agreed. Reaching over, he edged the volume back up a notch. Rory eased closer, curling into him on the bed.

  He grazed a soft caress down her arm and then, propped on one elbow on his side, traced small circles over the warm strip of exposed skin where her tank top rode up on her tummy. Bowing his head, he eased it up even further as he planted a succession of gentle kisses across her flat stomach.

  Her soft, full lips parted in a silent sigh, her ponytail spread out across his pillow as she brought her hand to the back of his head, threading her fingers through his short hair.

  Moving back over her body, he sat back to rest on his knees. Lifting a slender leg to prop it on his, he untied and removed one running sneaker, then the other. Easing off her white socks, he slid the palm of his hand up her tight calf muscles to caress the smooth underside of her toned thigh. Rory watched, holding him in the shimmering heat of her gaze.

  He leaned up to kiss her lips, his fingers curving into the waistband of her running shorts. Without a word, she lifted her small hips off the bed to assist in getting them down and off. He hooked a finger inside the silk of her panties, taking them down as well.

  Returning to her, he dropped a tender kiss between the sweet hollow of her breasts, pushing up her tank top even higher before his lips glided back down the soft skin of her quivering stomach, dipping inside her belly button. His hand drifted up the outside of her slender thigh until he reached her knee, then he slowly slid it back down the inside in a smooth caress, applying a light pressure to gently ease her legs apart. She opened to him with a shivery gasp.

  Bowing his head to touch his tongue, he traced wet circles, flicking it over that sensitized tight bundle of nerve endings. Her legs quivered and trembled around him, and when he slowly slid his way up inside that honeyed heat, she arched up off the bed on a trembling moan, clutching for the frame of the wooden headboard.

  “Matt…”

  Gently placing a hand on her slim waist to hold her in place, he continued in slow thrusts and warm licks, her hips undulating gently against his mouth. The soft pulse raced on the tip of his tongue, his heart rate matching the speed.

  Moving even further into her, he lifted her leg to rest it over his shoulder as he slid his hand slowly up the back of her leg. Her hips rose off the bed again, slowly rocking, soft pants of breath dissolving into short gasps. A silent cry caught in her throat, growing still before she shuddered in ecstasy. He felt her body trembling underneath.

  He eased off gradually, and kissed his way back up. Settling in, he wrapped his arms around to nuzzle her neck.

  Tentatively, her hand slid down his stomach, fingertips trailing lower. He bit back a soft groan as those gentle fingers closed around him through his shorts in a slow caress.

  He captured her lips, murmuring into the kiss as she shifted positions. She placed a hand on his chest, pushing against him so he rolled to land on his back as she slung a long leg over to straddle his body.

  Breaking away from the kiss, she sat up on a breathy, sexy murmur, arching her hips in a slow roll to grind down. His hands came to rest on the curve of her waist, around to caress the small of her back, his hips rising up to meet her.

  Slowly, she reached for the bottom edge of her tank top to pull it off over her head. The silk cascade of her hair, loosened from the ponytail, spilled down to frame her face; her cheeks flushed and eyes shining as she gazed down at him.

  Locked in the heat of her gorgeous eyes, Matt eased forward to sit up. Instead of reaching towards the top drawer of his nightstand, however, his arms went around her in a tender embrace. With his head bowed into the crook of her neck, he hugged her close to breathe her in.

  She might break his heart again and again, but nothing could ever change the fact it would always be hers to break.

  TWENTY-ONE

  Merging into the busy airport traffic, Rory checked her rearview mirror before maneuvering the little car from the left lane into the far right, weaving and zipping her way through. She turned into the terminal entrance, her foot finally easing down on the brake as she lined up behind the other vehicles in the pick-up lane.

  When Kevin mentioned in passing that Murph might need a ride from the airport, she jumped at the chance to get the hell out of Dodge for a while. It occurred to her, of course, on the long drive to Logan how easy it would be to just turn in her rental car to the local agency and book a ticket on the next flight out to New York instead. She could skip all the agony and torture, and probably be laughing (or crying) with Sarah over coffee at their favorite breakfast place in the morning. This would all be far behind her.

  Running away was one thing—being chased out was quite another. Out of the wreck of her life, she had to salvage something. Amanda couldn’t take everything. Rory still intended to be there for Matt this one last time, even if it wasn’t in the way she hoped.

  She heard the buzz of her cell phone and dug it out of her bag. Briefly taking her eyes off the road, she saw it was yet another message from her boss. Rory dropped the phone back in her bag and blew out a weary breath. Her time here was just about up.

  Pulling up to the curb, she craned her neck to catch a glimpse beyond all the baggage carts and other travelers searching for their rides. Finally she spotted him, looking the same as always. It was Murph, just inside a four-hundred-dollar suit.

  He lifted one fist in a gesture of victory. Jogging over, he tossed his leather tote in back before getting comfortable in the passenger seat.
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br />   “How was the flight?” Rory asked, once again checking for traffic before quickly zooming off towards the highway and points north.

  “Great! It was all good.” Murph nodded his head, drumming out a short rhythm on the dashboard. “This is a sweet little ride, huh?”

  “Gets me where I want to go,” she replied off-handedly, realizing the moment the words left her lips how untrue that was.

  Murph shifted, turning slightly to face her with one of his toothy grins. “Fill me in on what’s been going on in the life of Rory Finn.”

  She let out a quick, humorless laugh, shaking her head. “You really don’t want a glimpse into that. Trust me.”

  She changed the subject immediately to ask him about Chicago. Like her, he’d moved right after college to take an entry-level position in some high finance brokerage firm, and enjoyed a swift climb up the corporate ladder. Since Murph was always up to something in their youth, it wasn’t difficult to imagine him perfecting the art of wheeling and dealing.

  He forced the conversation right back to where she didn’t want to go.

  “And how’s our boy doing?”

  “He’s good,” she said more quietly. “He’ll be glad you’re finally here.”

  Still smiling, he dropped his voice to a more conspiratorial tone. “Tell me the truth—what do you think about Amanda?” He drew her name out with comical, dramatic intonation. Rory knew he would be meeting her for the first time as well.

  “Well, ah, I don’t really know.” Eyes fixed on the road, she hunched her shoulders. “I guess I have to say she wasn’t what I expected.”

  “And what did you expect?”

  She only shook her head again, not really wanting—or able—to talk about this.

  “Because truthfully?” he continued, the corner of his mouth tilting up in a wry smirk. “My only expectation is that she must be just like you.”

  “That’s not funny.”

  “It wasn’t really meant to be. I love the guy, but he was never so great with the whole ‘moving on’ thing, you know? You did quite a number on him once upon a time. You were like Lucy with the football, right?” he laughed. “But look at our Charlie Brown now, getting married. I’ll admit I didn’t see that one coming.” He gazed out the window at the passing scenery as he chatted away amiably, quite obviously under the mistaken impression that this was all a part of their distant shared past and therefore open to jokes. He glanced at her again to grin. “There was a time I didn’t like you so much, you know that?”

  More than a hint of humor lightened his tone, but Rory recognized the small truths hidden there as well. “I kind of suspected,” she said.

  “Because of you, I lost out on probably the greatest wingman a guy could ever hope to have. When a best friend throws you over for a girl at such a young and tender age, completely disregarding the rules of bros before hos? That’s pretty traumatizing stuff.”

  “I’m sure.”

  “Not that I’m not happy for him now,” Murph continued, shaking his head on a quiet laugh. “But, damn, I would’ve bet the house that you two would end up together. I would have taken those odds in Vegas and lost big.” He then threw a cursory glance over his shoulder at his bag in the backseat. “Hey, I probably have time to get my suit pressed before the wedding, right? Someone in town has to have one-day service. Or maybe I could—” His rambling came to an abrupt halt. “Wait, are you—are you crying? What is it? What’s the matter?”

  Her only answer was a small, muffled, heartbroken sob. She immediately clamped a hand over her mouth, as if to hold it in.

  Murph only stared, slack-jawed, seemingly helpless to react. Finally, tentatively, he made the suggestion, “Should I drive?”

  Rory nodded, and pulled over in the next available parking lot.

  As he awkwardly wrapped an arm around to pat her back, she turned to bury her tears on his shoulder, soaking right through his designer label shirt.

  ***

  “Matt, you don’t really have to do this. This is your night, buddy.” Luke lifted his hands up in a helpless gesture. “Go out there and mingle. I know how to pour a beer.”

  “I know you do,” he said. “Are the warmers all set up on the buffet tables out there?”

  “Yes! We’re good to go, boss.”

  Matt only nodded absently, watching two waitresses file out with trays of hors d’oeuvres. The truth was that he really had no desire to be out there in the middle of it right now. The place was mostly filled with members of Amanda’s extended family, and it had been exhausting enough to meet them all at her father’s house that day. He wasn’t really in the mood to be quizzed on how many names he remembered, because he could say without a doubt it was a test he would fail.

  He realized by this point that these things were really all about the bride. Matt felt he had nothing substantial to offer in conversations about the choice of cakes and flowers and colors, and Amanda seemed perfectly happy to field those questions all on her own. He was content to stand back and let her have the spotlight, and he wanted this day to be as special as she imagined and planned.

  Matt wanted that for her, and it had nothing to do with the guilt. Of course he felt bad that she was so upset about the circumstances of the bachelor party. When she claimed that she was past it, however, it would stand to reason that he should be past it, too. Yet still the feeling remained. He couldn’t shake the sense of unease deep in the pit of his stomach.

  In a week filled with last-minute preparations and family obligations, they played the happy couple at every turn. That was also bothering him. Suddenly, it felt as though they were playing at this. Amanda hadn’t spent one night at his apartment in the past two weeks, despite the fact they were in each other’s company nearly every day. They hadn’t had sex, or even talked about not having sex, even once in this week preceding their wedding.

  There had to be something kind of wrong with that.

  It wasn’t something that tended to go unnoticed in his life. Maybe the pile of laundry on his closet floor, the cable bill, the mileage on his truck when it was due for an oil change—these were things that could potentially fall by the wayside without generating his attention. But sex? Matt would immediately notice something was up. Or not, as the case may be.

  He couldn’t deny it was difficult to get past his last conversation with Rory, almost excruciatingly so. He would think of her words, he would think of her, and find himself staring at Amanda from across a room, trying to remind himself of all the reasons they were here. It had happened tonight, again, while they were at the church, standing in the places where they were supposed to exchange vows tomorrow.

  Rory had asked why he was marrying her. Shouldn’t the fact he loved her be enough?

  Matt was determined to do the right thing here.

  Finally emerging from behind the bar, he did a quick check to make sure everything seemed to be running smoothly, while at the same time scanning the faces in the crowd. He supposed he didn’t really expect her to be here now, after everything.

  He noticed Murph talking with Jill and went to join them. So far, they’d only had a chance to exchange a few words since his friend had arrived back in town.

  Grinning, Murph stood to shake his hand.

  “Here comes the groom!”

  Matt clasped him on the shoulder before leaning down to kiss Jill on the cheek in greeting.

  She sniffed with exaggerated weepiness. “Our baby is growing up.”

  Managing a laugh, he stepped away just to grab the beer Luke had ready and waiting for him at the bar.

  “Shouldn’t you be, like, the guest of honor?” Murph said curiously. “I feel like you’ve been working this thing ever since we got here.”

  He shrugged, glancing down into his beer. “Habit, I guess.”

  “Well, in any case, your hard work is obviously paying off, because it’s all wonderful,” Jill said. “But I think I see my mom over there on the other side of the bar. I better go check on her
.” She paused to joke. “You know how she gets once she starts hitting the hooch.”

  “Don’t I ever,” he agreed without missing a beat.

  Murph laughed as his gaze drifted over her with a certain amount of amazement.

  “I still can’t believe you’re going to have a baby.”

  “Yes.” Jill rested one hand on the round shelf of her tummy as she turned to go, throwing him a teasing smile over her shoulder. “Apparently I don’t just have a fertile imagination.”

  As they watched her walk away, Matt was unable to help his gaze from skimming the small crowd again, still searching another familiar face.

  “So, it seems the gang’s all here. Well, except Rory.”

  He turned back, furrowing his brow. “Um—did you talk to her? Do you maybe know why?”

  Murph regarded him a long moment with a thoughtful grin. “Maybe you tell me, old buddy.”

  Matt shook his head. “If I could, I would. But I don’t know anything anymore. I feel like—”

  Before he could finish, he was interrupted by a bunch of well-wishers and departing members of Amanda’s family, each one demanding his equal and undivided attention. Murph finally eased away with a small smirk and a tilt of his beer bottle.

  Matt forced a smile as he shook hands and gave halfhearted thanks, doing his best to ignore the dull ache in his chest, that hollow place he tried so hard to fill, never with a hundred percent success.

  On the outside, to all these people, he was this guy who was getting married tomorrow.

  On the inside, however, he was still the same person he had always been.

  ***

  “Thanks, Rory. You’re a life saver.”

  She only smiled over at Murph as they coasted down Harborview, turning off by the town common. His freshly pressed suit hung in the back—along with a crisp, new dress shirt that she’d insisted on paying for.

  A moment later, she swung the little rental car into the driveway of the welcoming white cape with its dormered roof and wraparound front porch. She touched down on the brake, but didn’t bother to park. Murph hopped out, reaching in back for his suit.