Had To Be You

by Juliet Chatham

  He watched as she gently placed the ice wrapped in plastic against his knuckles, already starting to swell, and then wound a long piece of the gauze around to temporarily hold it in place.

  “So, if you’re scared of getting hurt, thinking that I might hurt you again, it’s something I understand. Because I used to be scared, too.” She lifted her eyes to his and the slight throbbing pain in his hand was forgotten, replaced by a deep, stabbing ache in his heart. “And I guess I still am. I’m scared that we’ll never be together in the way I always imagined we would be, someday, when we grew up,” she said softly. “Because, for the first time in my life, I feel ready for this—the things I really want. I also feel like I’ve grown up a lot, although I know some people may not necessarily believe that.”

  She taped the gauze in place, and then returned it to the box and snapped the lid shut.

  “This wasn’t some kind of contest I was trying to win, Matt. This is just me, finally telling you the truth about what’s in my heart. But if you’re not ready or willing to give this—us—another chance right now? If this is about the timing? That’s okay. I can wait.”

  “Trust me.” Something darker shadowed the blue of his steady gaze. “That’s sometimes easier said than done.”

  “I don’t expect this to be easy.”

  “Then what do you expect?”

  “I expect—I know—it will be worth it. I know we could be happy.” The corner of her lips tilted up slightly. “If you could just do one thing.”

  “What?”

  “Let us.”

  “Matt?” Danny stepped into the small kitchen area to give him a meaningful tilt of his head.

  “Yep.” He blew out a quiet breath, pushing off from the counter. “I’m coming.”

  He met her eyes just once before following his brother out the door, realizing what always hurt most of all was simply walking away.

  THIRTY-SIX

  Late afternoon sunlight flooded the wide open kitchen, tinting the white and pale wood cabinetry in soft pink hues. Some of the boys crowded around the center island, heartily digging into the taco dip and salsa, while the girls maintained a safe and pristine distance in their silky pastel gowns.

  There would be plenty more food later, after the cruise boat docked and they moved their prom night celebration to the traditional all-night beach party. Parent volunteers would be grilling food by the light of bonfires and torches—though most senior couples would probably steal away to the darkness of the dunes to satisfy other appetites.

  Matt came in from the backyard and greeted a few of the guys standing around before he managed to catch Rory’s attention.

  “My mom is ready for pictures outside,” he said with a tilt of his head.

  “Am I okay?”

  She stepped back for his appraisal with a bit of a mischievous light in her eyes. Matt knew she was already aware she pretty much took his breath away. They already had the preview one night in her room when she’d tried it on for him, and he took it off of her.

  “You’ll do,” he said, trying not to smile. “More importantly, how do I look?”

  “Almost there,” she replied, lifting her hands to straighten his tie.

  Matt glanced at the pale blue and cream flowers looped around her delicate wrist by a ribbon. “Do you like your corsage?” he asked, trying to hold still as she adjusted him.

  “Yes, I do. Very much.”

  “Good to know. Though I am getting to be an old pro at this.” He caught her gaze, holding it there. “Any formal events in our future, I’ll be well-prepared.”

  She smoothed her hands down the lapel of his rented tux, her smile fading just a bit.

  He narrowed his eyes. “What is it? You okay?”

  Her usual pale pink lips were stained a soft rosy hue, and as she glanced down at the floor, her dark, delicate lashes fanned out across her round cheeks, shimmering with something sparkly in the powder blush Lindsay used. She’d refused to let her friend apply it with a heavy hand and Matt had to agree. As far as he was concerned, there was no improving on perfection.

  “I got my letter today.” Her breath slipped out on a quiet exhale. “About orientation. It’s the first week in August, like I thought. Then classes start the end of the month.”

  “Okay.” He took a deep breath, having mentally prepared himself. Emotionally, however, he was more like an organized mess. “So, that means June and July, you’re all mine.”

  He pressed a soft kiss to her forehead before leading her outside. Right now, Matt just wanted to focus on tonight. Turning to give her a hand down the back porch steps, he nearly jumped at his mother’s outburst from across the lawn.

  “Oh, look at you two!” she gasped, one hand fluttering to her mouth. “Rory, you’re so beautiful!”

  “Mom…” He regarded her with an uncertain grimace. “Are you crying?”

  “I can’t help it. You kids!”

  They gave each other uncertain looks, Rory lightly pressing her lips together to restrain any obvious show of amusement.

  Some other parents arrived for the photo opportunities, and then there were several long and tedious moments of trying to get all of them organized in a group just right, including an exasperating debate regarding the direction of the light. Suddenly, to Matt, every minor delay seemed like some huge intrusion on his time with her, like he could hear the ticking of the countdown clock begin in the back of his mind.

  Rory glanced up as they were posing for what felt like the ninetieth time, giving him a soft jab of her elbow.

  “Hey,” she whispered quizzically. “Where’s the smile?”

  Matt shook his head, nodding towards his mother to try to deflect her attention.

  “Would you just look at her?”

  “Well, this is a big deal—senior prom,” she reasoned, and then her voice lilted into a soft tease. “And, after all, you are the baby of the family.”

  “Last time I checked, I was like two years older than Kevin.”

  “I wasn’t talking age.”

  He gave her a quick smirk, his grip on her waist tightening to a light squeeze.

  “Come on,” Rory urged him gently, easing closer inside the frame of the shot. “Act like you like me.”

  “That’s asking a bit much.”

  “You know, I’m starting to think I might not miss you so much.”

  Matt’s mood failed slightly. He glanced down at the ground, giving his mom a small roll of his eyes when he caught her giving him a chin-up signal between all the flashbulbs. Clearing his throat, he bowed his head close.

  “You know, when you think about it, you’re not even going to be all that far away.”

  “No, I’m really not,” she agreed, smiling straight ahead for the photos. “Not counting traffic, I could probably be there to here in just over an hour.”

  He encircled her waist with both hands, holding her that much closer. “Just call first, in case I’m not around. I might be busy or whatever. I don’t really know what my schedule looks like at this point.”

  Rory tilted her head up towards him just slightly, meeting his eyes with a wry grin.

  Nuzzling her soft hair, he whispered a kiss against her temple before murmuring in her ear. “And by that, what I actually mean is…you’ll find me right here, waiting for you to come home.”

  ***

  Rory ended the call, gazing at the cell phone in her hand a long moment as she let out a soft, shaky breath. Feeling the sting of tears in the corners of her eyes, she waited a moment for composure before standing from the bed to walk out to the kitchen.

  Kevin was by the counter, the speckled granite littered with serving platters and half empty salad bowls, mixing up a batch of drinks. He smiled over at her in a way she knew was supposed to be comforting.

  “Have you told him yet?” he asked quietly.

  She only shook her head in response.

  He handed her one of the frosted glasses. “If I could perhaps offer some assistance?”


  She took if from him, murmuring wryly, “If that’s the case, you might as well just give me the whole pitcher.”

  Glancing out over the beach, she followed him outside onto the deck. The sun dipped below the horizon, the sky illuminated by the radiant glow in blue, pink and gold. The whole scene looked like something out of an impressionist painting, only ten times more brilliant. It made her chest ache even more.

  Matt was perched on one of the deck railings, his tanned face and bright eyes warmed by the fading light. He glanced over to hold her gaze a beat as she made her way back to her chair.

  Maura and her boyfriend Kyle were in town for the day, gathered there with the rest of the brothers O’Shea. Jill was here, too, cuddled up in the cushioned wicker chaise with the infant carrier at her feet.

  “Okay, Rory, we’re waiting on you—Ronald McDonald or the Burger King?” she called out to ask.

  “You can have it your way,” Kevin offered.

  Jill visibly shuddered, leaning down to check on her sleeping child. “There is nothing creepier than that Burger King guy. Nothing.”

  “Yeah, nothing except Ronald McDonald,” Rory added with a grimace as she took her seat. “Is there a death option in this game?”

  Matt offered a shrug of his shoulder. “Just take the clown.”

  “Fine,” she muttered, lifting her drink to her lips. “But I won’t like it.”

  “On the contrary,” he grinned and cocked his head. “From what I hear, you’ll be lovin’ it.”

  “Okay…” Kevin laughed. “Superman or Aquaman?”

  “There’s not even a question in that question,” Jill said. “Superman, of course.”

  “He is the man of steel,” Matt interjected and then narrowed his eyes. “Although Aquaman probably has a better chance of getting you we—”

  “Don’t!”

  “What?” he replied. “He’s Aquaman! Need I say more?”

  “I’m wishing you could say less,” Rory laughed and shook her head, her cheeks pink. This was an old game, and they had lots of practice at it. “So, who would you rather?”

  “Me? I’d have to go with Superman,” he answered offhandedly, taking a swig of beer.

  Jill tilted her head to regard him.

  “I never figured you for a bottom for some reason, Matt.”

  “How’s that?” he said with a frown.

  “Superman is totally a top,” she explained as Kevin just shook his head next to her.

  “Even I know that,” Danny agreed.

  “That’s okay!” His sister Maura spoke up from the other side of the deck. “The key to any good relationship is compromise. You could make it work.”

  “Although I’m thinking Aquaman can probably hold his breath a really long time. And he dives.” Jill lifted her eyebrows and paused to give this some more serious consideration. Then she shook her blonde curls. “But, you know, there really isn’t much Aquaman can do that Superman can’t. Except, I suppose, converse with fish—but, really, is that a transferable skill to the bedroom? And, no, Matt, don’t even go there.”

  “I said nothing!”

  “In fact, if you think about it?” she continued. “Superman’s collective powers really render most of the other members of the Justice League obsolete. It must be a lonely kind of burden to bear, to know you’re so much better and more important than all your other Super Friends. I know I carry my own heavy load.”

  “Yeah, that’s a load all right,” Matt snorted in amusement. “I know I’ve personally always coveted your special superpower to spread a story faster than a speeding bulletin.”

  “Hey, not in front of the b-a-b-y!” she protested, mostly feigning indignation. “You make it sound like I’m a gossip! That’s Lindsay, not me!”

  “Yeah,” Kevin jumped in to defend, his smile twitching. “Jill just has a great sense of rumor.”

  Trevor stepped out onto the deck at that moment, a fully packed diaper bag slung over his shoulder.

  “I guess that’s my cue,” she said.

  She stood to lift the baby carrier, Trevor easing the weight from her hands as the others all admired the baby girl one last time. They said their goodbyes and trudged down the deck steps to leave.

  “That is one adorable baby.” Maura took a sip of her beer and then let out a soft, delicate burp.

  “Now that was lovely,” Matt said sarcastically.

  “Quite the woman you’ve got there in our sister, Kyle.” Danny raised his own beer bottle in a salute.

  “Oh, please!” Maura scoffed lightly. “As if I wasn’t a victim of the by-products of all your various bodily functions for most of my life. Besides,” she added. “What do I care? Everyone here is family.”

  Rory smiled sadly before lifting her eyes to where Matt was sitting, her breath almost stolen away by his steady gaze. Instead of flailing about, gasping for air per usual, for a moment she dove right in to immerse herself in the deep blue.

  ***

  With the murmur of a satisfied sigh, she dropped back into the soft tangle of sheets, her head sinking into the pillow. He rolled with her, easing onto his side. When her hand drifted down his body in a lazy caress, she could still feel the rapid drumming beat of his heart under the rise and fall of his chest.

  “See—we were quiet, right?” he whispered, still slightly out of breath.

  Rory only smiled and adjusted her position to face him. There was a sliver of moon visible in the nighttime sky outside her bedroom window, and the summer breeze drifted in through the screen.

  His eyes shone lightly in the dark, his gaze following the deliberate path of his hand as he slowly grazed his fingertips along the curve of her collarbone, over her shoulder and down her arm.

  “Your mom is going to be mad,” he drew in a little breath, “if she finds out you got this sunburn from being out on the boat.”

  “Really?” she murmured softy, with more than a touch of sarcasm. “You think that’s what my mother would be mad to find out—that you didn’t provide me with the appropriate sun protection factor when we were out on the island today? Meanwhile, sneaking into my room, what you just did to me, her sweet and innocent daughter, under her roof, with her sleeping right down the hall…that’s perfectly okay?”

  Matt buried a sleepy chuckle of amusement.

  “Well, it could be, you know.”

  “How so?”

  “Easy,” he grinned. “All you’d have to do is explain to her that you’re marrying me. You know—someday. So, we’re like practically almost kind of engaged.”

  “You keep saying that, but I don’t ever recall being involved in this discussion.”

  “You’re the one who said it first, not me.”

  She scowled faintly in sleepy confusion. “When?”

  “We were five.”

  “I hated you when we were five.” Rory yawned, and then pretended to contemplate this as she tucked her hand under her pillow. “Besides, there’s a lot to consider here. Married life is not always what it’s cracked up to be, you know. All those little annoying habits that can escalate to epic proportions once you’re living with someone day in and day out.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like what about the fact you claim I snore?”

  “True,” he agreed with a tilt of his head, and got more comfortable in the narrow bed with her. “Only that’s not so much a claim as it is fact. But, you’re probably right. If we do get married, you’d be after me all the time for things like leaving my dirty plates on the sink counter or wet towels on the bathroom floor.”

  “There are hooks right there, you know,” she said, wrinkling her nose. “But, then again, you always seem bothered when I wash my lingerie and leave it in there to dry.”

  Matt smiled slowly, the timbre of his voice changing. “Well, let’s define ‘bothered’. Because my problem is—seeing it off you? Only makes me think of it on you.” He continued to trace the tips of his fingers along her skin as his hushed voice lowered ev
en more. “Which can be very distracting when I’m trying to get anything else in life accomplished. And, speaking of that, I know you’d always be on me for watching too much TV when I should be doing something else more productive.”

  He leaned in, slowly and deliberately moving over her, never taking his eyes off her, until their soft breaths intermingled. His recovery time was always quicker than hers, though she enjoyed all the ways in which he helped her catch up.

  She gazed up at him in this close proximity from under the fan of dark eyelashes.

  “And you would always be telling me to just relax.”

  Matt grasped her wrists to lift both arms above her head, his fingers intertwining with hers as he held her down.

  “I’d wait to pay the bills the day they were due, while you would always want to pay them the day they arrived.”

  He moved in to kiss and nuzzle her neck. Rory’s eyes fluttered closed as she bit down on her bottom lip, writhing just a little where he now had her gently pinned down to the bed.

  “I’m a morning person and you’re a night person.”

  “Okay, now that depends entirely on what we’re talking about.” His deep murmur rumbled against her pulse points, reverberating through her whole body. “Because, in certain circumstances, I consider myself to be an ‘any-time-of-day’ person and I’d like for that to be noted for the record, please.”

  She tilted her head, allowing him better access as his mouth moved down to the hollow of her throat.

  “You hate it when I buy orange juice with the pulp.”

  “You hate it when I put the carton back in the refrigerator with only a drop left.”

  “You’d never remember to shut off the porch light at night.” Her breathy sigh turned into a seductive purr that surprised even her.

  Matt broke away, adjusting their fit as he gazed down to meet her eyes, the delicious weight of his body coming back to rest on top of her.

  “And you would always wait until now to remind me, just as I was getting into bed with you, like I didn’t have better things to do.”