Virtually Mine: a love story

by Susan Rohrer

  I could have sent you roses,

  Or the lilacs I passed by,

  But I am just a country boy,

  And daisies caught my eye.

  Yours, Brad

  Kate blushed with sheer delight. It was all much more personal than she had expected. She flipped to the enclosed snapshot of Brad. Not only was he charming, he was also goo-gobs of gorgeous. Kate couldn’t help herself. She melted at the very sight of him. For a moment, Kate forgot all about Dustin and Wissy, much less his table of flirty customers. Then, suddenly remembering, Kate quickly glanced over to see if Dustin had noticed that she’d received a bouquet. Clearly, he had.

  Reesa looked puzzled. “Yours, Brad.” Who’s Brad?”

  Kate glowed with resurging confidence. “Looks like my new boyfriend.”

  six

  ♥

  Eric Bender waited as Samantha smoothly tore off a Virtually Mine check, and then handed it to him with a smile. This being his first paycheck, Eric was more than a little curious at what it would amount to be. Seeing the total, his chiseled chin dropped. “Whoa. And this is on top of the license fee?”

  Sam rose from her desk, circling closer. “The lion’s share is in commissions. Every time your face is successfully assigned to a new client, your take jumps.”

  Eric studied the check stub. “How many does this represent?”

  Sam perched becomingly on the edge of her desk. “Seventy-eight pitter-pattering hearts by my count. I’ve been pushing you with the drones.”

  Eric looked over the workstations at the ordinary guys who kept Virtually Mine afloat. He noticed Charlie among them. Somehow, he felt the need to confirm their understanding. “So, I don’t have to do anything.”

  Sam shook her head. Her raven tresses swished side to side, then settled back, perfectly into place. “It’s the privilege of beauty. They do the work. You visit me to collect, just as often as your heart desires.”

  Eric was used to women coming on to him. Whether it was ego or insight, there was no question in his mind about what was going on. It was a hazard he had come to accept of the way he happened to look.

  There had been times in Eric’s life that he might have let the attentions of a woman as beautiful as Samantha get the better of him. It wasn’t that he had moral qualms. It wasn’t her age that bothered him. It was just that something told him the shelf life on such dalliances wouldn’t be so very long. He decided that he wanted to keep the paychecks coming as long as he possibly could. Giving into Samantha’s allures simply wasn’t a justifiable risk.

  Eric eased back toward the door. “You could always mail my check next time. Or direct deposit, that’d be fine by me.”

  Sam studied Eric, a smoldering smile on her burgundy-painted lips. “I’m more of a face-to-face woman, Eric. I prefer to press the flesh.”

  ♥ ♥ ♥

  Kate trotted briskly towards her old ragtop convertible, her arm around the bouquet of daisies balanced on her hip. She didn’t have to look back to know that Dustin was following her out. She heard him pick up his pace, trotting after her. She also knew him well enough to know that there was no way in the world that he would let this go.

  Dustin caught up. “You need some help with that?”

  “I’ve got it.”

  Dustin passed by, getting between Kate and her car. “Your mom sent them. Right, huh? Is it your birthday?”

  Kate let out an exasperated breath. “That’s next month and no, she didn’t.” She opened the car door.

  “Then who?”

  As nonchalantly as she could, Kate secured the bouquet between the seats. “Just a guy.”

  Dustin knitted his brow. “A guy-guy?”

  “His name is Brad. I met him on the Internet last night and yes, by every applicable definition, he’s a guy-guy.” Kate attempted to get into her car, but Dustin blocked the way.

  “I was going to send you flowers once,” he insisted. “I was.”

  Kate looked up at Dustin, her eyes filling with regret. “But you didn’t.”

  “You know I have no money, Kate.”

  Kate rolled her eyes. She didn’t like to do that much, but she couldn’t help herself. “That is so not what this is about. Daisies aren’t expensive, Dustin. They’re just a few dollars a bunch. We used to grow them every summer all along Mom and Daddy’s fence. They make me think of home.”

  Dustin threw up his hands. “How am I supposed to know that?”

  “I guess you’d have to know me,” Kate replied.

  “I know you.”

  Kate realized that she had a decision to make. She could let this pass, or she could say all the things that she’d stifled for the three solid months they’d been dating. “What’s my favorite color, Dustin?”

  Dustin looked at her blankly. “Oh, come on.”

  “Where did I go to high school? What do I binge on? What’s my secret obsession? Who do I admire most?”

  “You don’t know that about me,” Dustin defended.

  Kate took a deep breath. “Named Best Looking in your graduating class, Theodore Roosevelt High, Denver. Chose wrestling instead of hockey to protect three years of orthodontia and wound up All State in the process. Your two older sisters, Darlene and Alva, financed your move here out of their day trader earnings, much to the dismay of their twin husbands, Ronny and Johnny Beck, who had earmarked that account for a snowmobile. You’re afraid of spiders. You have an oily T-zone. Tattoos weird you out. Your favorite food is marshmallows. Cheap detergent makes you itch and as far as you’re concerned, Jack Black is the finest actor on the planet.”

  “Well, he is!” Dustin shot back.

  “That’s not the point!” Kate implored. “It isn’t always all about you.”

  In a flash, Dustin whipped out his dinette order pad and clicked his pen open. “Okay. Fine. Tell me all your stuff. Spill it. I’m listening. Go.”

  Kate could hardly believe it. “What, you’re going to write it down?”

  “How am I supposed to remember?”

  “I remember yours,” Kate countered. “You remember your lines.”

  “I have to do that! Work is work. Relationships are not work.”

  Suddenly the veil was lifted for Kate. She saw exactly who and what she’d been fighting for. Something inside her shifted. She finally spoke her heart, realizing she had nothing left to lose. “You know what? I thought I wanted you back. I really did.”

  Kate got in and started her car as quickly as she could. She threw on her sunglasses, fighting tears.

  Dustin persisted. “You can still have me! Come on!”

  Kate sped away. In her rear view mirror, she could see Dustin blustering after her.

  “You’re afraid of spiders, too! Aren’t you?!”

  ♥ ♥ ♥

  It had been the longest two hours in recent memory for Charlie. He’d placed the order for Kate’s daisies, and then he’d taken the rest of the afternoon off from Virtually Mine. It wasn’t as if he could get anything done anyway, not with his mind completely preoccupied with wondering just how Kate had responded to what he had sent on behalf of the Imaginary Boyfriend she’d ordered.

  Charlie wished he’d had the nerve to stop by the Doo-Wop Dinette, to have seen Kate’s face when the daisies had arrived, but given that he’d never even eaten there before, he decided not to risk it. It was risk enough that he’d used part of his middle name.

  He reasoned that Kate would be home soon. He knew she was smart, that she’d keep in mind that this was just lark to help her get Dustin back. Still, he wanted to do whatever he could to mend her broken heart.

  Charlie had picked those daisies out special. He wasn’t sure why, but as soon as he’d seen them, something inside had said yes, daisies were the way to go. Though cards with printed verses had been available, he’d spent some concerted time on the poem he composed to attach instead. Beneath the safe cover of Eric’s handsome face as Brad, Charles Bradley Butters had finally found a way to get a little more com
fortable with Kate, the way he’d long wished he could be with her in person.

  Charlie listened to muzak on his phone, peeking out the front window intermittently to the street. Abruptly, the muzak halted. Charlie sputtered. “Hello, yes. This is Operator Number 52 with Virtually Mine. I was calling to confirm the delivery of...Yes, I can hold.” The muzak resumed.

  Charlie stretched the phone cord to look out front again, just in time to see Kate drive up in her ragtop with the vase of daisies beside her. “Okay. Nevermi...you can’t... Bye.” Completely flummoxed, Charlie whirled, wrapping himself up in the cord and pulling the phone’s base off the table, which went crashing to the floor.

  The moment Charlie had been waiting for had finally come and every cylinder of every impulse within him suddenly started firing. “All right, look normal. Look normal.”

  Charlie’s self-directed pep talk did little to slow his racing pulse. He flung open his utility closet and grabbed for a broom. Of course, it got tangled with the mops and the garden hoe and anything else it could possibly get stuck on as it and every other pole-handled tool in the closet came clattering out.

  The broom triumphantly in hand at last, Charlie deliberately paused. He closes his eyes and coaxed himself to relax. He tried to remember what his dad had taught him about just such circumstances.

  What was it that he had said?

  Oh, yes, Charlie recalled. In situations like this, always remember to breathe. It tended to keep him from fainting dead away.

  Charlie scooted outside. He skidded to a stop and, as casually as he could, he began to sweep the walk outside Kate’s door. Not a split second later, there she was, climbing the stairs with the bouquet he’d sent on her hip. Charlie swallowed, desperate to moisten his drying throat.

  Seeing him, Kate smiled warmly. “Charlie. Hi. Didn’t you just do that yesterday?”

  “Did I?” he squeaked. “Oh. Well, a clean walk is a happy walk, so... Pretty flowers.”

  Kate sighed as she unlocked her door. “Yeah. My favorites.”

  Charlie fought for words to respond. “Dustin trying to make it up to you?”

  Kate brushed a flaxen wisp from her eyes. “No, it’s just...a teensy bit embarrassing is what it is.” Kate paused a moment, then shifted to a more upbeat tone. “Garbage disposal is working great.”

  Charlie stopped his sweeping. Any praise that proceeded from those plump pink lips made his all but tone-deaf heart sing. “You need anything else, man-wise, I mean manager-wise, you just let me know.”

  Kate smiled. “Thanks, Charlie. I’m going to go put these down. It’s been a hard day.”

  Charlie nodded understandingly and resumed his sweeping. He found it easier to remain calm around her when he had a task to do—something, anything to keep her simple attractions from driving him absolutely wild.

  The moment Kate disappeared into her apartment, Charlie bolted back into his. Safely inside, he clutched his pounding heart.

  ♥ ♥ ♥

  A pile of tissues around her, M.J. dotted on calamine lotion as Kate entered their apartment with the bouquet. Unsuccessfully, M.J. stifled a sneeze.

  With a concerned look, Kate approached her roommate. “Are you sick?”

  M.J. gathered her tissues. “Not exactly. Turns out I’m allergic.”

  “To flowers?”

  M.J. hung her head. “Dogs. I mean, I knew I was as a kid, but I thought it was like chicken pox or acne or whatever, and I’d have grown out of it. Come to think of it, I never completely grew out of acne either. A pity, you might think, but it does blend quite nicely with the hives.”

  Kate wandered toward the sofa. “So, are you going to quit the dog walking business?”

  “Heck, no.” M.J. popped an allergy pill from its cell pack, and then read over the directions.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Mainline allergy caps if necessary. And if that results in daytime drowsiness, gastric distress, or occasional dry heaves—believe me, this guy’s worth it.” Again, M.J. sneezed.

  “Why don’t you just tell him?”

  M.J. flopped back on the sofa. “That my mouth turns to mush at the sight of him? That I want to lick the spoon he eats his breakfast from?”

  “How about just that you like him?”

  “See, you...you could do that.”

  “You could do it,” Kate insisted. “Anybody could do it.”

  “Anybody with a face like yours and a bod like that and, by the way, where on your thighs did you hide that half gallon of ice cream?”

  “M.J., you’re beautiful!”

  “Uh-uh,” M.J. answered. “I’m the crack up, the best bud. I’m the go-to girl for a favor.”

  Kate sat down by her roommate. “You’re a lot more than that.”

  M.J. shrugged. “I’m okay looking. I know that. But romantically, I have to grow on guys. I have to dig deep, send out tillers and rhizomes, and make myself impossible to get rid of. Face it. I’m the Bermuda grass of eligible women. And I’m almost thirty. Did I mention that?”

  A look of surprise crossed Kate’s face. “You said you were twenty-five.”

  “I also lie about my weight. Go figure.”

  Kate wished she could encourage M.J., but it was hard to know just how to do that. The phone began to jingle in Kate’s bedroom, so Kate rose to answer it. “M.J.—the right guy—he’s going to notice you.”

  “Rob is the right guy,” M.J. called after her. “He just doesn’t know it yet.”

  ♥ ♥ ♥

  Charlie paced nervously, his ear to the phone. Under his breath, he tried out what he might say. “Hi, Kate...no, she’ll...okay...I can do this. I’m from the country, the country boy... I’m... Southern, I’m—”

  Suddenly, he heard that Kate had picked up.

  “Hello.”

  Don’t panic, Charlie pleaded with himself. He took on a light twang, making himself more comfy in Brad’s confident persona. “Well, hey there Katie, this is Brad. I was hopin’ I’d catch you in.”

  The line was silent for a moment. What Charlie wouldn’t have given to have seen Kate’s face, but knowing she was on the other side of the firewall their apartments shared would have to be close enough. He glanced at her photo on his computer screen, then down at his phone jack, calculating that they were actually just a couple of yards apart.

  “Brad from the...I mean, you’re my—”

  Charlie didn’t want her to have to finish that sentence. The last thing he wanted was for anything about this time he had with her to seem anything less than real. “Is it okay if I call you Katie? I just always loved that name.”

  “Sure,” she replied. “Okay. That’s actually what my Daddy calls me, and all my friends back home in Virginia.”

  “Then Katie it is. Katie and Brad. Has a nice ring, doesn’t it?”

  Charlie couldn’t see Kate’s expression, but he could hear the smile curling in her voice. He was glad he’d paid such close attention whenever they had spoken.

  “Yeah. You sound so...familiar to me.”

  Charlie straightened, worried. “I do?”

  “Yeah, you sound like almost all of Crozet. Everybody’s so warm and friendly there. I had to work to lose my accent, coming here. I’m liable to go back to it talkin’ to you.”

  Greatly relieved, Charlie eased into the country boy persona. “Never met a gerund dropper I didn’t like.”

  Again, Kate paused. “That’s... You actually know what a gerund is. This is crazy. Most people don’t know this, but I’m a total grammar geek. It’s kind of my secret obsession.”

  “You, too?”

  “Yeah. Me, too.”

  ♥ ♥ ♥

  There was always something about washing her face before bed that felt good to Kate, but on this particular night the sensation of the warm water and suds was all the more soothing. She didn’t know exactly what was happening inside her, only that something in that satisfying phone conversation had seemed like more than a compensated exc
hange with an Imaginary Boyfriend. Her mind ran with the prospects.

  Brad’s picture, Kate knew, was of a real guy. She reasoned that he also knew what she looked like, since he had the real photo she had submitted of herself. Even if he were being employed to call her among his stable of clients, she felt special. She decided that it was somewhere in the remote reaches of possibility that something genuine was at play.

  Though they stood at their side-by-side sinks wearing pajamas, Kate noticed as M.J. began to apply eyeliner. “You going somewhere?”

  “Nope,” M,J. answered. “Just wondering if maybe I should change it up. For Rob. You think?”

  Kate toweled her face dry. “I’m probably the wrong person to ask about makeup.”

  M.J. leaned close to the mirror. “Since you don’t need any.”

  Again, it was hard to know just what to say. The closest thing to cosmetics Kate ever wore was lip gloss, and that was mostly for the sunscreen. “I just mean...I think you look great without it. Any guy you get is going to see you without it eventually anyway.”

  M.J. capped the eye pencil. “Not if I get the permanent kind.” M.J. stretched her mouth open and smeared the liner on her lower lid. She backed away from the mirror, checking the results. “So, are you going to tell me about your call, or do I have to install a bug?”

  Even though it was only M.J., Kate could feel a blush rise to her cheeks. “I don’t know. He’s... It’s almost like he’s...real.”

  M.J. sighed nostalgically. “So was Jimmy Carmichael.”

  “It was the first time I talked to him and it’s like...he completely gets me.” Kate reached for a towel. “He sends my favorite flowers, he’s got the cutest little accent, which you know I love and, okay...guess how he puts himself to sleep at night.”